Swallow or Spit

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Dad bought me a 1kg tub of mango yoghurt the other week. I much prefer the thickness of Greek yoghurt (you could actually substitute "Greek yoghurt" with "Chobani" because that's the only Greek yoghurt I've ever had) but Chobani is so expensive. I guess the "so" is subjective but $2 for 170g (when not on special) is expensive to me when you can get a 1kg tub of normal yoghurt for $4 on special.

Back to the yoghurt. He bought this yoghurt and I've been eating it for breakfast. I mix it with cereal and nuts. It's delish... unless compared to my One True Breakfast Love, Oatmeal. Especially during winter. I have essentially been forcing myself to eat this yoghurt whilst fantasising about a hot bowl of delicious coffee banana date honey cinnamon oatmeal (yes, my oatmeal breakfasts are becoming increasingly complex but also increasingly delicious).

I was nearly at the end the other day. Choking down bowls of yoghurt in the morning was like choking down bowls of cold semen but, yes! I was almost done! And then my dad came home with another 1kg tub of the exact same yoghurt. The horror.

I'm at a loss. I don't know if I can eat another bowl of that white stuff. I contemplated mixing yoghurt into my bowls of hot oatmeal instead of adding milk... but then I got scared that the tartness of the yoghurt would be off-putting and ruin what would have inevitably been a delicious bowl of Hot Mess.

As such, I have decided to try and incorporate this yoghurt into some sort of baked good. This is difficult because most recipes that call for yoghurt call for plain Greek yoghurt. The last time I used yoghurt in a recipe (again, in an effort to get rid of yoghurt), it turned out a disgusting mess (lime rubber cake). I am apprehensive but have decided to try to make yoghurt scones. I will report back with my findings in one day.

Wish me luck. And God bless (always).

And yes, I am aware this blog post could be construed as containing "too many" references to semen/ejaculatory fluids. I remain unconvinced that there is such a thing as "too many" semen references or "too much" semen, full stop.

J