This Charming Man

I literally just looked at this picture of The Good Wife and her Hot Husband and, out loud, said, "Phwoar." Friends, that is what I call a handsome man. You know how you have "hot guys" and you have "cute guys" and you have "rugged/virile guys." Well, friends, this is what I call a Handsome Man. Not a guy but a man. Look at him working it in that suit and that hair and those shoes. Get it, Juliana. You minx.

He has those big Man Hands as well.

J

I Know You Can Be Overwhelmed...

Feeling hormonal. And not crying-hormonal but boy-hormonal. It's probably why I've been watching so much Pretty Little Liars lately, so I can perv on Mr. E Fitz. Mmhmm.

My body is usually in a constant state of flux between crying-hormonal and boy-hormonal. Rarely am I just... whelmed (har har). It makes me think that should I ever become INVOLVED with a boy they will be annoyed with me 50% of the time as I will be crying and yelling at them 50% of the time and won't put out because I want to cry and eat Twix bars... Oh deer.

J

Le Joke

Let's just say, if the Streaker propositioned me for sexual intercourse the answer would not involve the word no. The song "Your Body is a Wonderland" was practically made for him.

I swore I would not start liking this guy the first time I laid eyes on him because he had that too-handsome look and seemed like a goon who all the girls love. And I don't like that shit. And I thought he would be one of those guys who knows he's good looking and is popular etc. But he's actually really nice. Not to say I like him romantically. I can just appreciate him more. As a person. NOT a sexual object.

I'm a fucking joke.

J

Ego Boost

You probably don't know this but everyone in my FCP tute is a freaking genius. They look at one slide and our tutor asks the most ridiculous question about it and they all freaking get it. Naturally, I hate them all. Especially this one guy, Reece, who knows everything and he puts on that cock sucker voice whenever he's talking to the tutor or actor-patients. I hate that guy.

So it's totally awesome because he failed in his cardiovascular history taking in this morning's tute. And I dominated that shit. Well, maybe dominated is a strong word. I did better than I usually do. Streaker was so nice to me and says, "Good job," when I return to my seat. It was so sweet. And I think it was his feedback card that said, "Junaberry was amazing!"

SERIOUSLY. People are fucking awesome. I don't even care if I did shit. If people are nice enough to lie and say I was awesome, then THEY are awesome.

J

Cut Out the White Bread

I thought I'd address something that's been coming up for me over the last few weeks. Several people have asked me whether I drink and then, "Why don't you drink?" And sometimes when I say, "No, I don't drink," I feel ashamed like they're judging me.

"You don't drink? What is wrong with you? You're such a good girl. Are you a girl scout?"

Well, let's be clear. I enjoy a tipple or two every now and then. Whilst in China I drank a lot of beer because it's cheaper than bottled water, the food was really spicy there and cold beer can soothe the ravaging effects of Szechuan pepper quite satisfactorily.

Sometimes I get a upset and frustrated at the drinking culture in Australia especially in young people. I sound like an old, disapproving mother but I'm just being honest. I don't like it when my friends go out and get hammered because it's not safe (in terms of stranger danger etc.) and it's not good for you. If you drink a lot of alcohol again and again your body will suffer.

I get frustrated that people are proud of getting falling over drunk, vomiting in gutters and the rest of it. When people say to me, "You can't go clubbing and have a good time without getting drunk," I wonder to myself what's the point of clubbing then when I can have a good time and not kill my liver.

I don't think there's anything wrong with drinking alcohol. I just don't think binge drinking is good for you. I don't want to cast a disapproving eye on anyone because I appreciate that all this is is my opinion and doesn't count for much and is not necessarily correct. But I just wish sometimes I didn't feel so damn embarrassed when someone asks me why I don't drink.

J

Andrew Garfield - "Bed Intruder Song"

Shit, this man is sexy. And Carey Mulligan is so cute.

J

Just Stop Talking

Okay, so does it bother me that F's body is less than perfect? No. It doesn't. In fact, it makes me like him even more. His body is imperfect? Well, mine is doubly so.

Sure, my heart started racing a mile a minute when the tutor said to him, "Do you mind lifting up your shirt so I can listen to your heart?" and he said, "Yes," and proceeded to do so. And yes, I had to look down to try and control the slow smile that crept across my face. I even averted my eyes MORE than I would for any other boy in our class who had to have his body used for scientific gains. But I did sneak a couple of glances.

He had that soft, untoned look. Kind of boyish still. Very skinny. And you could tell he was self-conscious and anxious about his appearance. So endearing. The skin on his abdomen had that milky white look of an untouched male specimen...

But then, he had that soft trail of blonde hairs snaking down into his pants...

Wow. This is the most degradingly I have ever spoken of F. And dirtiest. I feel so dirty, like a 50 year old man talking about a 15 year old girl.

F and I are almost the only people from our FCP tute going to the same hospital to observe their cardiology ward. I looked at the list. I didn't recognize any of his friends in the list. Maybe this will be my chance to hook in...

I feel really schemey and foul and disgusting right now. I know I come across this way but I wish I didn't. Like when I watch movies and the girl is plotting and scheming to get with the boy and in the end it backfires on her and she becomes a bitch. I think that if you're meant to be together, fate will bring you together.

I need to stop talking now.

J

Update from the Sciby

Oh Lord. The kid sitting next to me's stomach just rumbled really loudly and he hell spazzed out. He, very ashamedly, sat upright, put his hand to his belly and tried to appear to be intently studying. It was beyond hilarity.

J

Tuition

Came back from tutoring a girl in maths and lied to my parents when they asked if it went well. I walked home on the brink of tears for 20 minutes, dragging my feet. I couldn't explain how to determine the equation of a graph by looking at it for reciprocal, cubic or exponential graphs. Spent 45 minutes mumbling, pretending I knew what I was doing and, worst of all, lying to her because I didn't want it to seem like I had no idea what I was doing.

I feel so guilty. Taking their money and confusing her even further. I have tried turning this guilt into steely resolve and have started looking up the stuff I couldn't explain. Things were going well until now and I could explain stuff to her. But today has just been shit.

J

You Were Romeo

I can't describe to you how I feel right now but I will try.

The fact that I am going to see Taylor Swift next March. At her Speak Now concert. The fact we will be in the same place and I will get to bask in her glory. It's amazing.

It's just that I've watched her on YouTube so many times, I've listened to her songs so many times... that seeing her in person will just be so bizarre and surreal. I just love her so much. Like unnaturally so. She is one of my best friends and one of my idols and I've never met her. It's part of my hopes and dreams to one day be the sort of generous and kind person that she is.

I'm like a dazed Dustin Jeiber fan and it both disgusts me and excites me at the same time. I sicken myself. But I am so excited.

J

Please Excuse Me, I'm Getting my Period Soon

Today, I touched the naked chest of an 18 year old boy. Albeit to feel for intercostal spaces and mark heart valves but I touched the naked chest of an 18 year old boy.

They screened us off in groups at the back of the lab and made the boys take off their shirts so others could use their bodies shamelessly. I was kind of nervous at first but then was all, "Whatevs," and copped a feel.

I kept wondering to myself, "What would be my reaction if F was in my group?" It's funny because I was talking to him before the lab and asked him if he was looking forward to Friday as a joke (in which boys also have to get nekkid for a bit of a feel and observation), he laughed and said, "Oh I don't think I'll be participating in that. I know, letting the group down and all." I really wanted to say, "Too body con, F?" but nothing came out. I was having a stroke thinking about him half naked and within 1m...

Erm.

We were also laughing at the picture fromm his student ID. He used to have an afro. Okay, maybe not quite. But a wild mass of blonde curls. It looked fabulous. We were laughing but secretly I was thinking, "I bet our children would look gorgeous with fab curls like that."

Alright, so before you start calling me a perv and a freak etc. please read the title of this post. I have some major hormonal issues going on right now. I believe my behaviour is justified.

J

Serbia : Eurovision Song Contest Semi Final 2011

This was my favourite song from 2011 Eurovision. So fabulous.

J

Protip

Never meet a guy for the first time when he's wearing a vest. Vests make everyone infinitely more attractive and are thus misleading. The first time you meet a potential male suitor ensure he is wearing his daggiest, most heinous clothing.

J

Guyton & Hall

I was just sitting there, pleasantly perusing my physiology textbook when I chanced upon the title page to read that... Arthur C. Guyton, one of the authors of Textbook of Medical Physiology is deceased. For some reason, this makes me very sad.

J

edit:// Upon looking up Guyton, I find this man amazing and an inspiration.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arthur_Guyton

To paraphrase for those to lazy to peruse, he was paralysed in nearly half of his body due to polio in his last year of residency and so had to forego his dreams of being a physician. But he never gave up and soon went on to be one of the most celebrated physiologists, had 10 children (despite being paralysed in his left leg... I mean... no mean feat, my good man. Well done), all of whom became celebrated physicians.

Convoluted Thoughts of a Delusional Girl

Yesterday was my first NS physiology lab. The med cohort is split into two groups. I was in the second group. Alongside F. As you know, I've been trying to be very subtle. I thought to myself, "Well, I'll just sit where I used to sit in MGC labs... where I used to sit with F and if he wants to he can sit next to me. It'll be like a silent and subtle invitation." Unfortunately, I was one of the later ones to enter the lab so I didn't get my top choice in seats. And also I was talking to some pretty hilar girls from my FCP tute outside so we grouped up for the lab (and all future physiology labs).

Bet you're wondering who stole my seat. Well, it was F. And I thought to myself for a split second that maybe he'd had the exact same thought as me and him sitting there was a sort of silent invitation for me to join him. Alas, he was sitting next to Mora. And it was more natural to sit with the two girls. And I realized I was being imbecilic and should not delude myself. It will cause pain in the future.

But back to these ladies. They are actually really funny. One of them is called Hannah and, as you know, I tend to judge heavily religious people because I assume they lead a conservative and joyless life. Ho, has she proved me wrong. Firstly, by saying, "FCP is just spurting a lot of bullshit," and secondly, yesterday we were talking about our stethoscopes. And she says, "I've only used it on myself so it still has its virginity." And Sarah, the other girl, starts laughing and cringing. And Hannah says, "Don't think about it too much." I was lost. Then I figured they were referencing something dirty. And I liked them both a whole lot more after that.

Wow, I am a judgmental cow.

J

Gastric Juices

For me, one of the weirdest things is this... I completely romanticise travelling, going to distant places and having adventures but nothing strikes me as more romantic than stories about "home town" love and all that business. And I think the world agrees:

1. The Hannah Montana Movie. Miley falls in love with Travis, played by Lucas Till from her home town. What is more romantic than that? He is a hot hillbilly and she's in need of being brought back down to earth. They fall in love. It's perfect.

I don't know. I kind of lost my train of thought after writing that. I apologize.

Well, yesterday we got our stethoscopes and listening to my belly gurgle has given me countless hours of joy. Unfortunately, I have yet to break in my stethoscope so the ear thingies are too tight and I can't use it for very long before it starts to hurt.

But seriously now, listening to my belly gurgle is far more interesting than listening to my heart beat. I will tell you why.

A heart beat is so predictable (unless you have heart murmurs or palpitations or whatever the fuck that shit is called). Conversely, your digestive system is AWESOME. I encourage all those with a stethoscope to listen. But you have to listen for at least a couple of minutes. Sure, at first it's just, "Burrr burrr burrr," but then suddenly, BAM, it sounds like a wave of gastric juices washing over the shore. It's freaking awesome.

J

Teen Angst - Hang On! I'm an Adult!

I felt like balls again today. My shoulders just feel heavy with all the work I have to do still... Dreading physiology lab tomorrow because it looks complex and I think we have to turn in our work at the end. I had a look at the questions and am completely lost.

What I feel like right now is this... Sitting down on the grassy hill outside my old English lit classroom with my friends, talking and laughing. Being completely relaxed, not a care in the world.

I'm trying to stop that feeling I had at the beginning of this year when I was beyond stressed. I was an inch from giving up. I just feel rotten right now. And I'm tired. In need of sleep and relaxation. This summer holidays must consist of a lot of sleeping, taking trains to eat Frutti Tutti with lads and just hanging around. I think I'm over going out ('sif; I'm 18 and have never even really gone out but, to be honest, I don't think I ever really will be into it) or doing anything even mildly strenuous. I've always been a total homebody. I love the comfort and the familiarity of home.

Sometimes I feel like Beth from Little Women (I base my knowledge of the 1994 movie) when she's dying and Jo is by her side, comforting her. And she says to Jo, "I never knew why everyone wanted to leave home... You were always leaving me behind; now I am the one leaving you behind." I don't know; my paraphrasing skills are lacking. But what I feel is that... I just love familiarity.

Eh. We'll see how things turn out over the next week. If I have a nervous breakdown it'll be your fault.

Kisses.

J

I've Got a Tight Grip on Reality

I'm in a funk this evening, lads and gents (get it, that's me referring to all of you as men because I'm hilar like that). I don't really know how to describe it. It's like how I was talking to Big Michelle about feeling anxious and really cold and lonely sometimes for no reason. I just feel really down right now. There's not really a reason. Yeah, I have quite a lot of study to do. But that's no reason to feel depressed; I've had a lot of study to do for the last 2.5 years.

It's probably because I've been listening to mopey songs all afternoon... and I'm really cold. And I saw old friends today and I just miss things.

Sarah's hug today was fabulous though. I nearly fell out of my chair. For a small girl she throws a lot of force into her hugs.

Oh God. I've got it. I've been listening to mopey Paramore songs all afternoon. Brand New Eyes came out just as I started reading the Dollanganger series. That series is the most depressing and horrific series in the history of mankind (I don't know; there's likely worse but this one is pretty heinous). I used to listen to Brand New Eyes + read Dollanganger for hours in my room by myself and cry. This is probably the cause of my phasic (is that a word?) depression.

Episodic depression? Eh...

J

Second Week Blues

It's coming to that time of the semester when that feeling of being snowed under is coming. At least last semester has taught me that I can pull through. Insert smiley face.

Today at lab was just horrific though. Everyone knew everything, everything that I didn't. The demonstrator asked for the divisions of the vertebrae and how many there were in each division. And the guys in my group were all BAM BAM BAM and knew it all. And I just stood there thinking, "Fuck bro, am I supposed to know this shit?"

I miss things.

J

Fuck Off

I'm just going to say this. STOP FUCKING AROUND, EVERYONE.

I say things on this blog with the unsaid assumption that anything said on this blog will stay on this blog. You are stunting my emotional growth by mentioning F on facebook. I am a delicate flower. Shit has happened to me regarding boys in the past that has made me paranoid.

So stop fucking around and posting stuff about him on facebook.

J

Amanda Seyfried - "L'il Red Riding Hood"

Love this.

J

Oh Hey Kirk, Getting a Cold?

Situate yourself here.

I'm walking towards my FCP tute. I look inside the lobby where all these here kids are sitting around. As I look over, I spot F and he looks up at the same time. We make eye contact then both awkwardly look away. I walk over to a girl in my tute who's walking outside. We talk. I try to appear natural and not at all phased or awkward by what has just happened. We go into the tute.

Okay...

The tute is over. I'm packing my stuff up, taking super long. F is standing there, apparently waiting for me. Because we're FCP partners you see. That's what kind of blows; I don't know if he'd be waiting for me if we won't FCP partners. So anyway, finally he gets tired of me taking so long or because people are lining up behind him to leave. So he leaves. And then I leave and he's waiting outside for me. But he's trying to be all nonchalant and trying to look cool. Then he does that thing where the other person comes out and they try to merge with the other person's stride.

We talked about the work we had to do for the next tute... for a little while then we talked about other stuff for the rest of the time. Which was good because it indicated to me that he hadn't waited for me purely to talk about work for the next tute (well, maybe partially) but also to chat. We bumped into Meg on the way out; I gave her a hug and a quick word but I think she understood my frantic expression and let me go walk with him.

And he was WAITING FOR ME. Albeit, this sort of awkward, slow hesitation but he was still waiting. I'm making this out to be way different to how it actually happened. In fact, I'm about 95% sure he thinks of me just as a friend but part of me hopes otherwise... In other news, I feel as though I have to make an effort to be more friendly and more natural and talk about more interesting topics because right now all we're talking about is school; sure, we talk about how stuck up the lecturers are and how stupid 8am tutes are but I know we have things in common and I know I'm interesting... but it just doesn't come naturally to me when I want to make conversation with a boy I like.

I'm watching Gilmore Girls while writing this. Season one if you must know.

J

John Mayer - "Who Says"

I like this "Who Says" more than the Selena Gomez one... In other news, I heard Selena cover You Belong With Me and it was atrocious. Half dislikes on YouTube. Loser.

J

Your Body Is a Wonderland (Mine's Not)

Started listening to John Mayer... Yeah, he broke homegirl's heart but admittedly his music is good.

I came to THREE explanations for why no boys have ever liked me:

1. I'm really offensive to the eyes. I can see it. I used to think it was just because my skin is a hot mess but then I started to realize... wait, it might actually be that my face and my body is just disgusting and undesirable.

2. I have a really disagreeable personality. I'm not sassy; I'm difficult to be around. I'm bitchy and mean. I get joy from being a bitch and a ho. I'm not soft spoken and sweet like girls are supposed to be.

3. I push away boys. I tend to like a boy, try and be his friend but then there comes a point where I feel so awkward around them, I can't be open around them and I decide to fuck it, it's not worth it.

But secretly I love boys.

J

Names & Shit

Caitlyn alerted me to an issue. This first initial naming system is getting very confusing. I'm going to start referring to people by their actual name. If you have some sort of massive and great disagreement with this then... fuck off.

J

edit:// Following the above blog post I then went through every one of my posts and editted all of them to refer to people by their first name, not their first initial. Seriously, go check. It took me ages. Please tell me if I missed any because I will be pissed and fix them up. Kisses & shit.

Also, F is the only one staying as F. Har har...

Seh-Priz

Wow, people are constantly surprising me. The Whitest, most conventional, country out-back girl in my FCP tute the other day indicated that she is quite an avid gamer.

This world is crazy.

My hair's a flamin' mess. I secretly don't care.

J

Bitch, I Know

I just got this email from F (in case I didn't mention it, F and I are partners for the rest of the semester in our FCP Monday tute... sigh):

"Hey, In all likelihood i won't have my part done until tomorrow, probably afternoon, but that depends on if things go to plan or not. If not, then i should probably have it done tonight.
I'll send it to you after i've combined them, and i'll just print out a copy and bring it to the tute just in case we need it, but i doubt it.
Sorry for the lateness by the way, this week had a few unexpected events."

A few things I've noticed:

1. He usually leaves things pretty late.

2. He has a very business like email style. He's much friendlier in real life.

3. He apologizes all the time for replying late to emails even though I only sent my email this morning and he replied this afternoon.

4. He always seems to assume that when I send him my part and tell him to combine his part to it, that I want his part NOW. Son, I don't give a shit, just get it to me before Monday morning. Fuck, I hate looking like some sort of impatient bitch.

Shit on a brick.

J

Saturday Mornings Mean One Thing

I would do the youngest Jonas.

Watching Saturday Disney for the first time in two months. Living the life. Getting my hair cut this afternoon; what are we thinking here? Boy cut or trim?

J

China Blog #15

Okay, yeah, they're cute. I guess I forgive the bitch.

How can I say no to this face?

Smelling puke buckets.

J

China Blog #14

Sneaky pictures of farmers in the farm we trespassed into. A second later they looked at me so I hid.

What was in this farm, you ask? CORN.

When we left the farm we spotted the very same dog; my soul mate. BUT HE BETRAYED ME and was seen with another dog. That bitch.

J

China Blog #13

Flower & shit.

We went into someone's farm... without asking. Damn tourists. Our excuse, should anyone have stumbled upon us, was to be, "Me no speakas the Chinese."

Boobs (just to capture your attention in case you were losing interest).

Slightly angry yet adorable "gou."

As we trespassed on aforementioned farm, this gorgeous fellow comes running down the lane, completely oblivious to us. God, I love canines.

J

China Blog #12

So, this was one of the first creatures of China I photographed. This gorgeous yet disgustingly ugly dog has a special place in my heart. I found this guy running through an "ancient town." My favourite dog from the whole trip.

The elderly enjoying tea and cards.

We traded up from our crappy, "sex room" hotel to this one which was double the price but cheaper than the shit hole we stayed in Kanding. Oh, luxury.

Handsome puppy. This little guy looked really elegant and sophisticated to me. Like the king of dogs.

This is officially my favourite photo from the trip. My favourite dog licking his chops. He looks like a demented little soft toy. I adore him.

J

China Blog #11

Can't be bothered with introductions, no matter how irrelevant as that one about Merlin was...

This is what we found in the classy hotel we stayed in.

I hope you can see that. Further evidence of class.

Random roadside stalls and things on the bus ride there. Lots of random dogs running around the mountains too.

Chinese people in their natural habitat.

This one is just because it's pretty.

J

China Blog #10

We were very near the Tibetan border. As you know, non-Chinese citizens aren't allowed into Tibet unless they're on an organized tour.

Spicy Sichuan yak noodles. I love that luxurious feeling when you put your chopsticks in a bowl and pull out a whole tonne of noodles.

Monastery and green stuff. I could definitely live there.

A derelict platform. This picture reminds me of Lord of the Rings. In fact, a lot of the forest there reminded me of Lord of the Rings.

J

China Blog #9

YEAH, WE CLIMBED MOUNTAINS AND SHIT.

Mum + yaks.

One of my favourite photos I took. The flags are Tibetan prayer flags or something like that. On top of the mountain was a monastery.

J

China Blog #8

Oh my deer, catching up on the Merlin I missed whilst in China. Fabulous. Gwen and Arthur are really growing on me. Whenever love interests say stuff like, "I'll always love you," while they're being dragged apart, one facing imminent death... God, it's like sex and sadness and misery and hope all at the same time.

And the China blogs go on.

Massive Tibetan mountain dog. On a mountain. We took a cable car up and found this guy sleeping here. We promptly woke him up because we are despicable tourists.

Lovely, isn't it? This was the town we stayed in. Taking the bus ride there was insanity. You had to first drive out of the city then these gorges starting popping up. I thought they were beautiful and they were. But then these beautiful and massive mountains appeared. It was literally the most beautiful place I've ever been. I was stunned.

Enough said. You could stand in the centre of town in the town square, glance up and there would be a massive mountain literally 1m behind a huge building. It was awesome.

MY FIRST DOG PICTURE... for now. Muahahaha.

THEN THIS OTHER DOG CAME AND THE FIRST ONE SNIFFED ITS ASSHOLE.

J

China Blog #7

More photos because I love you. After Cheng Du (the capital city of Sichuan) we went to the mountains! Beautiful little towns nestled between mountains as far as the eye can see. We took bus rides everywhere. It was so dangerous. Literally 0.5m from the edge of massive cliffs. But so lovely.

A river ran through the town we went to. It was from the water that drains down from the mountains.

We stayed in the rankest guesthouse ever. The (squat) toilet in our room was disgusting; it hadn't been cleaned properly since the last guest and there were flecks and various chunkier portions of a mysterious brown substance. This is the room the caretaker (an 18 year old girl) lived in.

The view outside my room window. Yeah, someone was hanging a pig skin outside. You can see the head. To be honest, now that I reflect on it, it was worth it. It was a beautiful area.

Maggi mee for dinner the night we got into the town after a 13 hour bus ride.

From the bus ride there.

J

FCP: You're Worth It

Wow. Just wow. Let's go backwards in regards to what happened today. First of all (or last of all, I should say) I got cockblocked by Chris today. I missed out on so much because he decided to walk and talk with me as I walked to the bus stop from my last lab. Meanwhile, F walks like 3m away. Not just this, but Chris happens to go all the way to Wellington Bus Station on this day (unlike as per usual) AND SO DOES F. So basically I miss out on 25+ minutes of quality F time. Guh. And he saw me. And I even saw him look back at us in the bus. Obviously he was yearning to sit, talk and maybe even make out with me.

So let's take another step back to today's FCP tute... The first clinical skills tute of the semester. We learned how to percuss and shit. And revised how to take a full medical history (fuck that shit). And use the stethoscopes to listen to people's heart beat. F was in my group with a couple of others. Me and another girl/friendly acquaintance, Clarissa, partner up within the group of four and listen to each other's heartbeats. When I get to F, I'm going to put the thing on his chest (Oh God, I'm thinking to myself, I CAN'T WAIT TO TOUCH WHAT I'M SURE IS PURE MUSCLE AND SEX) things start to get awkward.

I'm not even going to put it under his shirt like the tutor did to me. I was going to put it over his shirt. But fuck me if he doesn't say, "Here, let me do it," in not so many words, it was more of an awkward mumble than anything. So he takes it away from me as I'm going in to put the thing on his chest and puts it there himself.

Basically it was just a hot, awkward mess. But I did get to listen to F's heartbeat. Har har...

But moving even further back now. There was also this task where we looked at pictures of patients with visible abnormalities and described what we saw in as much detail as possible. As the tutor came around to help us, she asks us this question about how much of our eyelids cover our eyes and tells us to look at each other's eyes. F is standing next to me; he turns around to look at my eyes. And I gaze into his eyes. They are like cornflower blue; the bluest blue. Like the blue sky on a sunny day, with daffodils gently waving in the breeze as I lay on F's chest, luxuriating in the beautiful weather and the gentle thud of his heart under my ear...
I didn't even know how much of our eyes are covered by our eyelids by the time we stopped looking into each other's eyes. All I know is that it was brilliant.

Sigh.

J

Oh Na Na

The other day, Peter said I was fucked for thinking some of the lines in What's My Name were dirty. I was so sad. No one understands me. I dunno, maybe he's just especially pure and innocent?

Nah, don't think so.

Oh yeah, the other day I was at sciby when it started raining. I was putting on my jacket outside when this complete stranger guy says to me, "Do you want to share my umbrella?" I was about to burst into tears. I have renewed faith in humanity. What a great and sweet guy. I declined (hopefully politely, sometimes I appear bitchy when I'm trying to be nice though...) but was so impressed. When people do stuff like that for some reason I always try to be nice to people for the rest of the day. It's kind of like that "pass it along" thing; where one person does a good deed for someone and now that person has to pass on the favour.

I like that.

J

Are You Tired?

I thought I'd share a short story with you here today. This is a recollection of something that happened last semester in MGC lab (I bet you can see where this is going). And this is the only time I have ever felt mild animosity towards F.

See, we were doing this lab involving... measuring things. Lots of things. And we did it all wrong. It was a rainy Friday, we were both tired from two hours of FCP and two hours of MGC lab. So, I took over doing the measuring, rushing through as efficiently as I could so we could finish in time. F just sits there, with his head propped up in his hand and asks me a billion times, "Are you tired?" Again and again. "Are you tired?"

Well, that's my story. I know, it's a cool one, bro.

J

Tony and JJ

What's this? Word on the street is that JJ, due to popular demand, is returning to Criminal Minds. Sure, I don't watch that show much anymore but I still approve. Because I adore that girl.

Anyway, I was describing this situation to Big Michelle earlier today but I thought I'd share with the group. I was walking up the stairs in Westfarmers LT this morning and this friendly acquaintance, Darren, looks up at me from his seat. Naturally, being the incredibly friendly and outgoing person that I am, I smile at him. AND THEN HE LOOKS AWAY. All quickly like I'm some sort of abomination that offends his eyes. Really, Tony, really?

J

Let's Get Sirius

Okay wow, so my brother bought me this delicious chocolate muffin that is pretty muddy and pretty delicious from Corica's. I don't think I've ever loved him as much as I do now!

So, over the past few months I've been trying to decipher a way to decide whether or not you love someone. I know, it's difficult to find an algorithm for love but I think I have come upon something that I can explain pretty definitively.

I think you love someone (and this probably only applies for me and a few others, definitely not everyone) when you'd be willing to donate a kidney to them. I used to think love might be dying for someone but that's a bit extreme. I love my Michelles but I wouldn't die for them (no offense, guys) but I would donate a kidney to them.

See, donating a kidney involves personal sacrifice. When you donate a kidney you have to undergo an invasive procedure which leaves you with convalescence time which can be hard and painful. Whenever you undergo a surgery you are always facing risk of death. However, unlike actually dying for someone you only risk the chance of dying. Would I risk the chance of dying for someone I loved? Yes, I would.

I don't know if you can see the distinction but I can see it in my mind and it makes sense in that blissful and ignorant place.

Furthermore, when you donate a kidney to someone you run the risk of YOU experiencing kidney failure and needing a second kidney in the future. So yes, donating a kidney to someone is risking a lot. But at the same time... it's not. Because when you're in that situation when someone you really care for needs a kidney and they are facing imminent... well, death, then you feel these sacrifices and risks are worth it.

I think if I died for someone it would have to be for someone who I thought would lead a long and fulfilling life.

Things have suddenly gotten very serious. I'll be back later with more China blogs. Kisses and shit.

J

China Blog #6

The Haagen Dazs blog. Because I couldn't wait until tomorrow to post these pictures and make Little Mishelle super jealous. That bitch won't know what hit her...

GET READY FOR THIS.

I shared this with my mum. Yum. Various types of ice cream including chocolate, fudge, cookies and cream. Frozen cranberries (?) and hot brownie at the bottom. Oh, and random biscuit stick things.

I made him do this because I am a wonderful sister.


Yeah, it was fancy in here. And expensive. They gave us water in wine glasses with wedges of lemon... on coasters. Who do they think they are?

J

China Blog #5

Inevitably, this series of blogs starts to turn to food.

Yum, these are either rats or rabbits.

A taste of more to come.

I don't know what these are but I like the picture. I like balls.

Corn. Chinese corn is disgusting. They boil it until it turns white and mushy then grill it. It's fairly disgusting.

Oh, and they show the temperature of shopping centres! Handy. Now I know before entering a store whether I need a cardigan or not. Oh, Asia.

J

China Blog #4

Welcome to China blog #4; what dreams are made of, where Romeo said, "Go pick out a white dress. It's a love story, baby just say yes."

Here, we have China's finest chicken chain store. They sell all sorts of chicken, their most famous being "bang bang ji" which is chicken that is pounded into the shape of a guitar.

Sichuan hot pot. This was, no joke, the spiciest thing I've eaten in my life. See all those red things? THOSE ARE CHILLIES. And the liquid? CHILLI OIL. Sichuan people are all crazy.

I'll leave you to identify the mystery meats in this photo.

This lady had long hair. I, shamelessly, used my mother as a prop to take a sneaky photo of her. I'm like Veronica Mars. And yes, my mother wore a fanny pack in China. She has no shame either.

I thought we'd all get a kick out of this. Oh Asia.

J