Is it... Possible?

Say you give a really health-conscious, slim, fit person a free ice-cream. A nice big-biccie Magnum. On a hot summer's day. Or a cold winter day. Or a mildly-temperatured autumn day. Or a gross, snotty spring day. Or any day for that matter. Would they eat it?

Can anyone really resist a really nice, free ice-cream?

Sometimes, I just don't know anymore.

J

Sad Story

I think I just died a little inside: http://www.selectivepotential.com/2012/05/letting-go-moving-on.html

This isn't even one of my favourite blogs but I follow it anyway because the girl is sweet and her clothes are accessible. It still kills me though. I know a lot of bloggers put on a faux-happy tone when they write (um, not me as you may be able to tell by the multitude of "FUCK I HATE MYSELF" posts in the past) but I still didn't expect this. Especially with the posts that seemed to show her being so happy.

I hate that this was a decision that occurred over a "year." A whole year, guys. And I was just happily reading her blog thinking everything was happy as ever.

Maybe I'm overreacting. In fact, I know I'm overreacting but I've been reading her blog for probably over two years now and you get attached to people and things, me especially.

I clicked on this post, I read the title, I scrolled down looking for the key words I knew were inevitably coming and then I semi-burst into tears. Sad.

J

Effing Judgemental Cow

Haven't done one of these in a while...

INT. ELLINGTON JAZZ CLUB. NIGHTTIME:

Lady: So, how do you know D & J?

Me: Oh, through uni. Yeah, through med.

Lady: Huh?

Me: Through med? Through uni.

Lady: Ah, second year then. I see.

Me: Yup. I also know J. I actually went to your house before when J held a games night there!

Lady: Eh?

Me: Sorry?

Lady: Eh?

Me: Yeah, I went to your house late last year. J had a games night. We watched Mulan!

Lady: I see... He has so many friends. I don't remember you.

Me: Ah...

Lady: So, which high school are you from?

Me: Oh. I'm from BCC.

Lady: Oh?

Me: Mmhmm.

Lady: Yes, I have a friend's son. I think he also went to BCC. Or maybe he just lives in B********.

Me: Oh, right.

Lady: Do many people from BCC do medicine? *judges BCC*

Me: *mishears her, thinking she said "many people from BCC do medicine* Oh, really?

Lady: No, I am asking you. Because...

Me: Okay, goodbye now.

J

Effing Acid-Base

Doing acid-base equations in uni again. Effing hell. Reminds me why I dropped kemistry in year 12 while at the same time making me regret it. None of this makes sense. I usually just end up memorizing it without really understand it then fuck up in the test.

J

Respond, Please

Guys.

What would you say if I told you one of the two following statements was true:

1. Rihanna is a virgin;

2. Taylor Swift has slept with over 10 men?

Respond.

J

Persimmons From Our Tree

I know. Third post of the day but this is what happens when you stay at home all day.

Tired and nostalgic as shit. It kills me that I can't go back to high school. Well, I physically can go back but I can't go back to those great days with all the cats sitting around in homeroom and pizics. I even miss learning about circular motion and torque and shit that never really interested me.

I miss the confidence I used to have surrounded by people I knew well. Even when I was younger and in a room with people I didn't know that well, I still would answer questions especially if I knew the answer. In fact, I would feel this burning urge to prove myself if I was with an unfamiliar group. Now, I look down at my shoes if I know the answer and whisper it to myself. I feel this terrible shame like if I answer everyone will silently judge me. I don't know what's wrong with me.

I want to be brave.

I want to know how to talk to people again. Sometimes, I don't know what to say. I know I have interesting thoughts and opinions but then I'm talking to someone and I don't know what to say. Yesterday, Big Michelle said she's very nosey so she'll just keep asking the person questions. Maybe I should do this? Except I don't want to appear nosey. And what questions can I possibly ask? What's your favourite TV show? What do you think of Russian literature? No. I don't know.

Let me give you a scenario. Last year, I went to a placement in the obs & gynae ward at Joondy hospital. One of the nurses there was telling me and another nurse about how when she had her baby they left her legs up in the stirrups so long that she got terrible pressure sores on her calves (this wasn't that irrelevant as the whole point of the placement was for a wounds/sores survey... I know, glamorous). I just made some sounds and shook my head like I thought it was ridiculous but didn't know how to respond.

What should I have said? I honestly don't know.

"Wow, that's terrible!" I guess is a starting point but then what? I always feel so phony whenever I respond like that too because honestly, half the time I don't really care..? I mean, I care but I'm not surprised. And yeah, it's terrible. But there's a lot of terrible shit and worse shit that happens. I don't know. I'm horrible.

And then, when I do speak, it comes out so nervously and stuttery that people stare at me strangely. I need help. Like in She's The Man with Amanda teaching Channing how to talk to girls. Someone needs to say to me, "Hi! I'm Viola. Duke? Nice to meet you." Except with other characters.

J

Wednesday Evening Blues

Great phrase: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/This_too_shall_pass

Listening to Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging sound track. It really is the perfect playlist. It always makes me happy.

J

A Blog Post

Nice to stay at home today. Except that I woke up around 6am to hear my mum and brother arguing about whether he should take the car today or not. He has an interview this afternoon at EY I think but it's only at 4.30pm and he didn't want to wear a suit around at uni all day. So his plan was to stuff his suit into his backpack and then change later. Mother told him this was stupid, everything would get crumpled. I suffered through this in my half-asleep state then eventually yelled, "Shut up." They hushed their arguing to a barely discernible, "You cannot do this!" Except I did discern it.

Eventually, I woke up around 9am with every intention to eat breakfast, throw in half an hour of study, exercise, shower, then study some more. Except I felt like, as I so eloquently said on facebook earlier today, "My head was coming out of my ass." I think I stumbled out of bed making wheezing noises.

I have a cold.

Eventually I did do all those things I wanted to do and now I'm looking at renal physiology notes. Tutoring in 25 minutes. Study moar tonight then... chat? Har har...

I'm missing Little Mishelle terribly today.

J

What News From the Man Front?

1. Remember that really hot tutor from Egypt? Studly basketball player, super charismatic, very confident. Well, he was talking/joking to/with my anatomy tutor before the tute today and this is what I heard. "Nah, I've found my soul mate. I just gotta lock it down." Everyone laughs. "Not sexually. I mean, just lock it down." It was cute. My best to you, T. You will do great things (he's graduating this year, doubt I will ever lay my eyes on that handsome smile again).

2. My anatomy tutor I am 95% sure is either gay or has a girlfriend named A. Today, he mentioned said female at least three times. Once that she made the slides he was using, again that the pictures she chose were too complicated and lastly, that she mentioned something relating to the tute while he was talking to her on the phone last night.

So, all evidence points to her being his girlfriend, right? Yeah, I thought so. But as you know, past trauma has made me pretty paranoid about certain things and now I look at him and wonder to myself, "I mean, he's quite effeminate... But I don't really know." Either way, this guy is probably the sweetest guy I've ever met.

I know a lot of super, super nice guys (all of whom I've met at uni... Not a good reflection on those BCC boiz) but this guy is both really nice but he's also really funny, sweet, witty and good-humoured. He's the whole package (I also jump back and forth between thinking he looks like a super dork and then thinking he looks like a super goodlooking dork). Kudos to you, A, if you really have snagged that. Otherwise, kudos to whoever becomes his life partner eventually.

3. Can't believe I forgot this hilarity. I think I mentioned the halfie (half Asian, half White) anatomy lab demo who is really quite beautiful. Today, Meg kept asking me which one it was (she thought it was a nice but not exceptionally attractive Asian guy). Finally, towards the end of the lab, I whisper to her, "Okay, it's that guy over there. Don't look!" And the first thing she does? Yeah, look! Apparently (although I didn't see), he heard me say, "Don't look!" and at that moment decided to look up and caught Meg staring at him. So we wander off (well, I scurry) to the handwashing room (I don't know... it's just a room full of those trough-sinks for you to wash your hands in) and Meg's face is completely red. Taught her a lesson; don't look if someone says don't look! She said it was because she's White and White faces turn red whenever they laugh/cry/get embarrassed etc.

We'll see, my friend.

4. *personal stuff*

J

Two Things

Good lord, Jennifer Connelly and Paul Bettany make a good looking couple:

http://ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com/69093172.html#cutid1

There are two things I desire from this:

1. I was Jennifer Connelly or;

2. I was their offspring.

J

Cloaca

I'm laughing at this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cloaca

J

Poo

Either I am having a psychosomatic reaction to shit that has happened recently or I am getting sick.

TMI time:

1. Shivering like a virgin on her wedding night (I don't know why I wrote that... Even that's a little graphic for me).

2. Throat sore like a... Heh.

3. Frequent trips to the bathroom like I've got honeymoon cystitis ('cept I don't and it's not to pee).

In conclusion: I feel like poo.

J

Adult Admission ($25)

Admission 1: I can live off of a romantic fantasy for over a week.

Admission 2: While I was chucking my urine back into the toilet bowl during the lab the other day, I may or may not have accidentally splashed a little over the seat... Ugh (I cleaned it up though).

Admission 3: My tootsies are so effing cold right now, I feel like Bear Grylls' penis that one time he went swimming in the ice-hole.

Admission 4: I'm scared of moths.

J

Spies

Kind of want to throw a book at my own face. Maybe it would actually make me more attractive.

I've also come to almost-despise two people, one in my med year and her boyfriend. Maybe I'm overreacting but yesterday, I was sitting alone in an empty row in a lecture. The girl came in, saw me and sat in the row behind me instead of in my row. Sometimes I say hi and she just gives this half-assed smile. Sometimes I say something and she replies snarkily and almost arrogantly.

I'm also bloated because I ate too fast. I ate so much sugar today but the brownies were worth it, babe.

J

Urinalysis Lab

There are some seriously beautiful sixth year male medical students out there. I was born four years too late.

Chivalry not dead: was depositing my saline solution from the big tank it was being stored in. The tap was really stiff. 50mL from saline solution spilling everywhere. Beautiful sixth year saves the day, asks, "Need a hand with that?" Yes sir, two hands preferably.

I think I'm going through hormonal changes or something. Been feeling a bit weepy and weird.

Today, we had a diuresis lab which involved skulling ~1L of saline solution (tastes like lime jelly crystals mixed with a shitload of salt) in three minutes. Except, I was the only one who drank the saline solution, the other two in my group drank ~1L distilled water. Felt like puking near the end. It was worth it though (see above). It also involved peeing into a jug every 20 minutes. I felt so dirty afterwards, like I had urine all over me.

Tell you what, however. Doing med has made me so much less self-conscious about bodily stuff. I used to never say anything involving sex or genitalia amongst my family. Not anymore (I still laugh if a slide of a person with their legs spread open to show their downstairs comes up during a lecture though). I've touched so many dead things and a lot of half-naked guys (not dead). I've looked at 85 year old women's boobs. I've even touched a 60 year olds woman's boobs. It's been good (har... joke?).

J

And a Few Hours Later...

Reading Reddit's version of PostSecret and I come across this:

"I once took a shit In the bathtub and then realising what a horrible mistake I'd made, I flung poo Into a hole In the wall.
My parents renovated and patched up the hole. So now there Is a ~15 year old turd in between the bathroom and kitchen wall of my childhood home.
Not even using a throwaway because I have no shame."

I laughed so hard I peed a little. It was a welcome change form all the incest and paedophilia stories on there.

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/t0ynr/throwaway_time_whats_your_secret_that_could/

J

A Short History of my Mammary Development

Once upon a time, I was a very flat chested young girl. I was a typical late bloomer with a very long pre-pubertal period in which I played with dolls and pretended to be a teacher with my teddy bears. I would give them worksheets and then smack them if they got a question wrong (another reason why I shouldn't become a mother).

I used to compliment my friend, Herren, on her magnificent breasts on a daily basis. They were so plump and I was jealous. I would look down and see a concave disc. Bone on bone on bone. I was sure that no boys would like me because of my lack of chest. I was pretty devastated.

Then time went on and school got busy and I didn't pay as much attention to my lack of boobage.

And then university came and now Big Michelle won't shut up about how big my boobs are.

I don't even know at which point in time I went from having no boobs to a decent sized rack. But did you know that bigger boobs store more milk? When I become a mother, I hope my boobs get even bigger so I'll be like a freaking camel. If the zombie apocalypse comes, at least my child will have a decent supply of food for a while.

I actually think boobs are an evolutionary farce. They prevent women from running faster, they attract unwanted attention at times and they can get cancer. Sure, they make and spurt out milk but imagine if milk came out of just a little hole that wasn't attached to a mass of glandular adipose tissue. Imagine if it was just another little bellybutton type structure. Women could breastfeed in public without a care in the world. In fact, people would probably compliment you if you did.

"Gee! That's a great milk hole!" they would say and punch you in the arm good-naturedly. But your milk hole would be somewhere convenient like your arm or something so the punch wouldn't jostle your baby. You could just strap your baby to your arm and do other things. Or even better, your milk hole was on your back so you could get one of those back baby holders and go about your business while your child sucks away. So, according to evolution, if I latch my baby onto my back, my future great-great-great-great-great-great-grandaughter should develop back milk holes, right?

I have a (more realistic) dream. It goes like this. You get a suctiony-tube thing. You stick it on your boob. And then you give the tube to your baby to suck. You're still breastfeeding but your baby isn't directly latching onto your nipple.

BAM. It's like hands-free breastfeeding. It's the way of the future, guys. Women wouldn't have to worry about sore or cracked nipples anymore. They could breastfeed in public ALL THE TIME. They could do it in church. They could do it in the fanciest restaurant out. They could do it in front of their PARENTS. THEIR SIBLINGS. GOD. EVERYONE.

Think about the possibilities, guys (I am also considering a tube that hooks up to your urethra like a detachable penis. Handy for travelling in developing countries with less than stellar facilities).

J

There is... Handsomeness Involved (do people know where this quote is from? I use it a lot)

This is making me laugh SO MUCH:

http://rookiemag.com/2012/05/ask-a-grown-man-5/

Please, watch it. It is Jon Hamm looking like a hobo answering questions from teenage girls.

For those who refuse to watch this madly hilarious video, I will leave you this gem:

Jon Hamm: I am 16 and have been with my boyfriend for three weeks. I want to do "stuff" but he doesn't even though he's one year older... Well, S, if it is making out then he should want to do that. It's super fun.

Oh, God. Tears.

J

So, I Dreamed I Had a Dog Last Night

I never thought I'd see the day when exercise has become a pleasure for me. It might be because it's a bit of a rarity. Not really but Monday and Tuesday (sometimes Friday), I'm at uni from 8/9am and only get home around 6pm. By that time, I am usually incredibly stroppy (Big Michelle can attest to this. We were walking to the bus together around that time and apparently I was in a major strop because she looks all concerned at me and says, "Is something wrong?"), hungry and tired. There is no way I have the energy to exercise at night and I have work to do. So, in some ways I even look forward to days when I get to exercise.

I had my last GP placement today. I also had my period today. As in, I got the beginning dregs of it as I was sitting in the GP's office. I could feel it (I don't know if this is tmi... but I don't really think it is) and I had my legs crossed. At one point, I think I even surreptitiously stuck my hand under my bum to check if anything was coming out. The worst part was when I went to use the bathroom to check but I couldn't bring my bag out with me because that would look weird. So there really wasn't any point in checking. Still, I stuffed some toilet paper in there, a la Kim circa year 10 (don't think I've forgotten, gurlfrand).

Ate shit tonnes of broccoli at dinner and am now listening to Rihanna while I finish my patient reflections from the GP placements.

Yup, I'm falling for ya but there's nothing wrong with that.

J

I Ate Ice-Cream Today

I would like to:

1. Go into space. Yes, I would.

2. Walk through a British (see what I did there? Don't want to restrict myself to just England) field, rich with morning dew until my jeans and socks are wet.

3. Have three beautiful children and name them atrocious names so they hate me when they grow up. But then we they turn 18, they will realize that yeah, I named them Peatendril, Fallaytio and Simpy but I loved them throughout and gave them these names so they would be unique and special.

4. Eat 1L of ice-cream... In one sitting. That's right, folks. One sitting. In addition to the various Oreos, ice-magic and the rest of it that will be accompanying this atrocity.

5. Save someone from imminent death. Whether pushing them from the path of an incoming car, resuscitating them after drowning or delivering them a delightful back blow to their choky self, damnit, I will save someone and they will LOVE me.

6. Tell someone I haven't met yet that I love them.

7. Eat bugs. I hear fried crickets are the most palatable. Full of protein. I would just stay away from the ones that Bear eats. Seriously, he seems to always pick the ones that spurt out pus-resembling-squirty-stuff when bitten into.

8. Swim in the ocean. Properly. With a oxygen tank and flippers (flippers are actually amazing, I used to swim with them in swimming class and they make you go so fast. I was so out of control that I hit my head into the wall at the other end because I didn't realize what a stud I was). And a bikini. And a dolphin.

9. Have a pet. I'm being realistic here. Chances are I won't move to some gorgeous farm in rural Canada or UK and get three dogs named Ducky, Puppy and Woofy. But I will own a dog (or at least some other pet) one day and, damnit, I will love it more than any other domesticated animal has ever been loved before (that should not sound dirty)!

10. Go iceskating on an icy pond.

11. Hug Taylor Swift.

12. Pick a cockroach up in my bare hand. This is kind of a stupid one but I would like to one day. We keep an apron on a hook on the inside of the pantry door. The other day, the edge of the apron was caught in the shut door. It was dark and I thought it was a massive cockroach and let out a terrific squeal.

That's about it for now. Hope you had a nice Monday. I love you.

J

Head Meets Ledge

I keep falling asleep in lectures lately. Especially in Ross LT in physics because the seats have this ledge/stand thing behind every row just at that perfect height for your head to rest on... Inevitably, it leads to my eyes slowly closing. Sometimes, I try to keep aware of what the lecturer is saying and if they say something important, I'll rouse myself and write it down. But mostly, lectures are so fucking boring.

Oh na na.

J

Datcha

Days like these:

1. When I look about my window at the cloudy sky and wish I was an astronaut. Want to know why? Freeze-dried ice-cream. Shitting into a vacuum. Strapping myself into bed. Space-sickness. Vomming into 0 gravity. 0 gravity. Rolling around in 0 gravity. All the pussy I would get.

2. When I drive down a street and pretend I'm in Canada and imagine this is what Canada would be like. A glorified Australia. I look forward to you, Canada.

3. When I wear my leavers jumper and pretend I'm 17 again instead of 19 and basically geriatric. I'm serious. I've lost control of my bladder. I'm suffering severe memory loss. Sometimes I lose my fake teeth and then I forgot I had fake teeth in the first place.

4. When I catch up on several episodes of New Girl and piss off my brother with my laughter until he smacks me over the head.

Also, I don't know why but basically every new blog I've started reading is written by a pregnant woman. Coincidence? Or...

J

Yes, You

Sometimes, I am enjoying a good blog read then I chance upon something, a sentence or a topic, that makes me abhor that person immediately. It's usually nothing, some people wouldn't look at it twice, but it gets me and I can't read their blog with the same enjoyment I did previously.

Usually, it's religious bigotry or any hint at racism. Okay, let's be honest, pretty much anything that rubs me the wrong way at all. There was the thing I posted about yesterday regarding (GASP) pierced ears and then, today, I was reading one of my new favourite sewing blogs and I came across this:

"Between the Eiffel Tower and Trocadero, where there are lots of Middle Eastern-looking dudes hassling tourists with their cheap souvenirs..."

Really? Fuck you. Something about the way she specified "Middle Eastern-looking dudes" and "hassling" (more on this later) just did not impress me.

First of all, this lady who leads her "flaw-free" raw vegan diet in Portland, Oregon with her plaid shirts and her obsession with sewing needs to check herself before she wrecks herself. Apparently, not only does she have a seemingly unintentional aversion/dislike towards Middle Eastern people but she honestly has no idea about these people's living situations. But seriously, "Middle Eastern-looking." Oh God, watch out, there are brown people around! And they're trying to sell me things! God, I thought the war in Iraq was supposed to be killing these people. What are they doing trying to sell me cheap Eiffel towers?

The two times I've been in China, my family and I have been accosted hilariously by people around the touristy areas trying to sell us things. It's annoying especially when they follow you around for 20 minutes or constantly talk to you. But China is a place where you are either extremely rich or poor (although this is moving more towards middle class). A lot of people have no choice about how they make their living. Essentially, when they are harrassing you, they are just harmless. If someone tried to physically touch me or followed me in a way that made me feel uncomfortable, then I wouldn't be okay with it but, other than that, there really is no problem.

I cannot read this bitch's blog with half the enjoyment I used to now. Please leave your fear of "Middle Eastern-looking" people at home and pervade the internet only with your amazing sewing skills.

J

Today

Today:

1. I finally bought leggings. From K-Mart no less (my heart, my soul, my true love, OK-Mart). I don't know how to feel. Scared, confused, a little hungry. I bought them to wear with my multiple skater dresses that are a bit short. I hope Little Mishelle will be impressed.

2. I finally bought a dress I've been wanting for ages. It's quite a popular style now but I remember seeing it on the first episode of Gossip Girl I ever watched (incidentally, the first episode of Gossip Girl). Do you remember it? It was black with sleeves and a lace overlay. I fell in love. Blair wore it with a subtle black hairband and curls. Then she let Nate help her take if off... I thought it was the most elegant, subtle and "clean" (I mean that in a sophisticated way, not a hygienic way) thing I'd ever seen. I saw it at Target a few months later (or a very similar dress) but didn't have anywhere to wear it. Well, it's Ditza's birthday party at some jazz club in a few weeks and when I saw the dress today, I knew I had to buy it. It's maroon so not quite like Blair's but I still love it!

Have you ever seen anyone quite so beautiful?

 Legit, Serena looks like a fracking tramp next to the Queen. Even Blair's posture is better, her smile more sweet, her hands elegantly resting in her lap. See how she leans slightly away from Serena? She doesn't want to catch her STIs

This last one is the one I saw at Target. It's a bit different, less lacy but I think it's beautiful

3. Lastly, my mother continues to urge me to find a boyfriend. She theorized I liked one of the few man-friends I have. I made up a story about how he was probably gay. She then told me that, "It is usually the boy who chases the girl... But sometimes the girl has to give some encouragement, let the boy know that they're interested. And then they will chase." Thanks, mother. I will keep that in mind when the hoardes of boys start chasing me down.

J

Pierce Thy Ears and I Shall Smite Thee

I was enjoying a perusal of a new blog I'd chanced upon and then I read this:

"This might be controversial for some of you Mormon ladies. BUT, I'm going to go ahead and say it anyways. I've been really wanting to get my ears pierced again. I know, ahhh, don't do it. No! - But guess what? There are SOOO many other things that we need to be worrying about. For instance, all of my issues that I have are FAR WORSE. And unlike a tattoo, it isn't permanent. So there :)

Now that I've probably given my mom a heart attack... Let's switch to a new topic."

The actual fuck. This is so convoluted and petty and stupid that I can't wrap my head around it. Is this even about religion at all? What is wrong with ear piercings? Are they a sign of satanism? Is it because vanity is "anti-Mormon"? Because this girl runs (or use to... Now it's just about her stupid fucking baby... I'm kidding. The baby is cute) a fashion blog and I feel that is infinitely more vain than getting her ears pierced.

Also, who the fuck actually cares if someone, NOT YOU, gets their ears pierced? Her mum shouldn't be ashamed that her daughter is getting her ears pierced, she should be ashamed that her daughter thinks anyone gives a flying fuck about whether she sticks a needle in her lobe.

Isn't religion supposed to be about the "bigger picture" and helping people and doing right and shit? Caring about getting your ears pierced for "religious reasons" is the ultimate fu to anything anyone could ever fathom religion to represent.
 
FRIENDS, GOD WILL NOT CARE IF YOU PIERCE YOUR EARS. Consider it an homage to Jesus on the cross.
 
Too far? Sorry if offensive.
 
J

Horrible Histories

Introducing... a brief history of the crushes of Junaberry (in chronological order):

1. M.L. A young lad from primary school with perfect, crisp blonde hair and blue eyes. He was friendly, sporty and popular. Once, when someone pushed in front of me in line, he defended my honour and demanded said fiend to step back and let the young maiden through. My heart was his from henceforth. Unfortunately, he left high school some time in year 10 and our intense spiritual connection was never manifested.

2. C.S. Not sure why I had a crush on this naysaying rangaaa. I actually reflect on him now in my wiser, adult years and find him somewhat obnoxious.

3. D.Something. I can't even remember the last name of this person... Reflective of my deep desire for him?

4. A.M. Perhaps the most controversial of my crushes. My friends were not so approving of my desire for this man-child. However, I found him extremely physically attractive, cool, collected and el suavo. Things went downhill when I was outed and, when I was forced to sit next to him in class, he said, "I'd rather not." How could any self-respecting young man shame a naive, innocent girl like that? I do not know.

5. Initials.I.Cannot.Write. (IICW) He's a friend of my friends and a friendly acquaintance of mine. This was an extremely brief and superficial attraction.

6. IICW2. Somewhat ongoing. I can't even write it here. It shames me and intrigues me. There was something in me that began in my late adolescence and the feelings have lingered since. I have difficulty fathoming this ever evolving into something tangible, however.

7. D.T. A strapping, young Asian male that Big Michelle and I crushed on simultaneously in our first semester of uni. He was cute, smart but a little shy and bland. Having known him for a while longer, I find him completely unstimulating company and am glad he has found a lady friend that can tolerate him. I'm kidding. He's a nice guy.

8. W.B. Simply because he is incredibly good looking and because, when we were in the same FCP tute, after I took a medical history off the tutor in front of the class, he whispered, "Good job," to me as I returned to my seat. It was like M.L. all over again. Completely out of my league and slightly inebriated at all times but still, a girl can dream.

9. B.E. A boy I glanced upon in my second FAHB lab. He resembled a brief character in the fourth season of Gilmore Girls except blonde and brawnier. I only just recently found out his name.

10. T.W. My current anatomy tutor who has betrayed me in every way possible by already having an Asian girlfriend, a role I could have readily fulfilled with every fibre of my being.

11. M.S. An extremely tanned boy, smart and with the most adorable smile I've ever beheld. Unfortunately, he can often be found puttering around barefoot in our FCP tutes. I do not approve of this. W.B. also indulged in this slightly unhygienic practice. These country boys.

12. Holy shit. I can't believe I forgot F.V. But what can I say? All my feelings, interactions and experiences about, with and regarding this boy have been documented extensively in this blog including the very surprising and tumultuous ending to this liaison.

There are others. I can't be bothered. Like I said, a brief history.

J

Kill Thyself

After extensive facebook stalking, I have concluded that my beloved anatomy tutor has a girlfriend. And she's Asian. About to go kill myself now.

I get so easily distracted nowadays.

J

Dog

poo def'n: the feeling I am at present experiencing.

It's been a pretty crappy week that I don't really want to talk about. This was exacerbated by the fact that my usual anatomy tutor was away this Tuesday and I was rather missing his pretty face. It's times like these when I really wish I had a dog.

In case anyone's wondering, I decided on the names of my three future dogs:

1. Ducky
2. Puppy
3. Woofy

And currently, Ducky will be a German Shepard, Puppy will be an Akita (they are so beautiful...) and Woofy will be a Great Dane.

It sucks that so many larger dogs have such a high risk for hip dysplasia mostly due to things like inbreeding (which is due to domesticity and being in human captivity). When you think about it, we have destroyed so many domestic animals and their natural temperaments. Perhaps it is hypocritical of me thus to so desire three of my own domesticated dogs but I hope to live in the country one day so they will always be able to live around and I hope to have at least two so they will always have a friend.

When I hear about there being shark attacks and people wanted to kill the shark... I just think they're idiots. Sharks live in the ocean, you shetard. You take a risk when you go into the ocean. You can't kill an animal simply for existing and for acting upon its natural instincts.

Or when dogs attack humans. I know it's horrible and sad but at the same time, a lot of these attacks are due to things like dogs not getting enough stimulation or exercise or due to human intervention in breeding causing exacerbation of aggression.

I don't mean to be cheesy, but it all goes back to the "circle of life" thing. Dogs were never meant to be kept in human society. Yeah, a lot of dogs are wonderful farm dogs and guard dogs and it seems like they were "made" for that purpose. But those characteristics were probably for dogs living in the wild in a pack or by themselves and having to look out for themselves to find food and to protect their families.

J