I kind of feel like a failure when it comes to social interactions.
I look at my life and I look at the last year I spent haunting libraries and quiet lawn areas where people wouldn't judge me for being alone. I look at waiting for lectures and pretending to be texting so people wouldn't judge me for having no friends to talk to before the lecture.
I just can't do it but I really want to because I'm sick of that feeling of being the odd one out and the loser who has zero friends.
This morning, I got to the lecture and there were so many people waiting outside for the lecture to start. I took one look and immediately went to the toilet and washed my hands (it's what I do to waste time so I can just casually stroll into the lecture theatre after everyone's already gone in so I can find a seat in an empty row). I came out and still didn't see anyone I knew so I went outside and pretended to text someone.
And I did actually text Big Michelle something panicky then I went back in and she was already there talking to Back Muscles (I don't know why I'm calling him this...). The rest of the day was spent following Big Michelle like a lost puppy. I feel pathetic when I have to rely on her like that. I feel like shit when I feel so happy that she's finally at the lecture so I finally have someone to talk to. I feel ridiculous when I stand behind her as she talks to her friends and I don't say anything.
I just feel like shit constantly about the state of my social life. I want to make friends but then I meet someone and I want to say something and I just clam up or I speak too softly or I say something stupid or I just say really mundane things and then they never want to talk to me again.
I love Big Michelle so much for always trying to encourage me and push me to make friends and reassuring me that sometimes she feels that way too. I don't know how she does it but she just does, she just makes friends and they all love her.
I'm scared about going into the workforce because I know I'll be so socially inept that I won't be able to make any friends at work and my whole life will just be filled with work and awkward pleasantries with my colleagues. They'll go off and hang out after work and I'll just go home and be alone.
Having friends is something I so desperately want but when the time comes I can't do it. But I hope to improve this year.
J
About Me
- Junaberry
- I'm a student from Australia who used to have a lot of time on her hands but doesn't have that much anymore. Now she has other stuff on her hands.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
A Peek Into My First Two Days of Uni
You are now the 12th person (unless I've already told you) to hear/read about how Big Michelle nearly walked into a peacock.
I sat at a table behind The Hottest Boy In Our Year in our Aboriginal Health lecture. I admired his beautiful back muscles for the better half of the two hour lecture. He would have been wonderful in The Covenant.
In this morning's NS lecture, I sat behind this dude both me and Big Michelle had a somewhat-crush on in the beginning of last year. I noticed he had put on some muscle over the course of the year. He's purdy.
I was casually filling in forms to sell a couple of textbooks at the secondhand bookshop when this girl comes up to me and asks me if I'm selling the Saladin, Anatomy and Physiology book I had resting on the desk I was writing on.
"Yes," I said, "Indeed I am."
"Great!" she said. "I've been looking for it everywhere!"
We promptly cut out the middle man and I sold it to her directly for a pretty penny. Apparently, I overcharged her which I feel bad about because she was really sweet...
I have been listening to Tay-Tay continuously over the last 48 hours (even in my sleep).
Today, I didn't realize we only had a two hour lecture in the morning. I thought we had lectures in the arvo too... Alas, I brought my laptop and Meg kept asking me why I bothered. I didn't realize the logic of her question until she reminded me we only really had one lecture that day (the first hour was introductory). So, in addition to the two tonne-like textbooks I brought today, I also brought a laptop and a lunch I didn't need.
Number of friends made: zero (except for a guy I shook hands with except he doesn't really count).
J
I sat at a table behind The Hottest Boy In Our Year in our Aboriginal Health lecture. I admired his beautiful back muscles for the better half of the two hour lecture. He would have been wonderful in The Covenant.
In this morning's NS lecture, I sat behind this dude both me and Big Michelle had a somewhat-crush on in the beginning of last year. I noticed he had put on some muscle over the course of the year. He's purdy.
I was casually filling in forms to sell a couple of textbooks at the secondhand bookshop when this girl comes up to me and asks me if I'm selling the Saladin, Anatomy and Physiology book I had resting on the desk I was writing on.
"Yes," I said, "Indeed I am."
"Great!" she said. "I've been looking for it everywhere!"
We promptly cut out the middle man and I sold it to her directly for a pretty penny. Apparently, I overcharged her which I feel bad about because she was really sweet...
I have been listening to Tay-Tay continuously over the last 48 hours (even in my sleep).
Today, I didn't realize we only had a two hour lecture in the morning. I thought we had lectures in the arvo too... Alas, I brought my laptop and Meg kept asking me why I bothered. I didn't realize the logic of her question until she reminded me we only really had one lecture that day (the first hour was introductory). So, in addition to the two tonne-like textbooks I brought today, I also brought a laptop and a lunch I didn't need.
Number of friends made: zero (except for a guy I shook hands with except he doesn't really count).
J
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Antonio Carluccio
Casually watching Poh's Kitchen (instead of accompanying Little Mishelle to her Buddhist, vegetarian food gathering) when Antonio Carluccio comes on. I wikipedia him to find this:
Self-stabbing
On 7 September 2008, it was reported that Carluccio had stabbed himself in the chest.[2] Doctors feared the blade may have punctured his lung. He was taken to Chelsea and Westminster Hospital and later discharged.
Carluccio later admitted himself to The Priory clinic, with it reported that Carluccio was suffering from depression.[3] but latest reports are that he is suffering from exhaustion and that incident was an accident[4]
In an interview from March 2009, Carluccio revealed that although he was feeling "desperate" and "very depressed" at the time of the stabbing incident, that it was an accident that occurred while cutting a loaf of bread.[1] He also noted that the time spent at the Priory clinic was a "positive experience" that allowed him to realize how his problems paled in comparison to others he saw while there.[1]
This really depressed me (not to the point that I'm going to stab myself in the chest) because he appears on Poh's Kitchen to be extremely lively and sweet and joyful. He appeared on the show around 2010 (I would guess... Maybe 2011, not sure) which is a couple of years after the incident but it's still horrible to think that someone like that who just appears to be so full of life can be driven to an act like that.
Sigh. Life.
J
Self-stabbing
On 7 September 2008, it was reported that Carluccio had stabbed himself in the chest.[2] Doctors feared the blade may have punctured his lung. He was taken to Chelsea and Westminster Hospital and later discharged.
Carluccio later admitted himself to The Priory clinic, with it reported that Carluccio was suffering from depression.[3] but latest reports are that he is suffering from exhaustion and that incident was an accident[4]
In an interview from March 2009, Carluccio revealed that although he was feeling "desperate" and "very depressed" at the time of the stabbing incident, that it was an accident that occurred while cutting a loaf of bread.[1] He also noted that the time spent at the Priory clinic was a "positive experience" that allowed him to realize how his problems paled in comparison to others he saw while there.[1]
This really depressed me (not to the point that I'm going to stab myself in the chest) because he appears on Poh's Kitchen to be extremely lively and sweet and joyful. He appeared on the show around 2010 (I would guess... Maybe 2011, not sure) which is a couple of years after the incident but it's still horrible to think that someone like that who just appears to be so full of life can be driven to an act like that.
Sigh. Life.
J
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Late Night Post
Late night sewing activities. Clipping darts into the outside seams of my $5 tribal print tube skirt from Cotton On (I will continue referring to this skirt by its full name until the day I die) following half an hour of researching how to make it lie flat on me... Hips don't lie, mate. That skirt be puckering up on this bod.
J
J
The Bubble (Yes, I Ripped That From 30 Rock)
"Three Beazleys in close proximity is never a good idea. Good times trolling and generally bi-winning. — at Rottnest Island."
Status update from our year's Beazley winner. These fucking pretentious assholes. I hate behaviour and thinking like this. It's all about exclusivity and superiority to these people. So many med students share this way of thinking. They live in this bubble where they think they are so amazing and above everyone else.
I hate those med student memes where they show them passed out over their study notes and shit like that that have been posted gratuitiously all over our year's facebook community. I'm sure it gets harder in later years but for us students who've only experienced first year, I'm pretty sure we've experienced similar levels of study and pressure to most of the other faculties at uni.
Little Mishelle who does architecture could run circles in terms of study and hardworkingness around these jacked-up twats.
There are so many smart people in other courses and other faculties and they don't throw a hissy fit about how intelligent and hardworking they are. So many med students think they are entitled to walk all over people and bask in their own excellence.
They can fuck themselves.
J
Status update from our year's Beazley winner. These fucking pretentious assholes. I hate behaviour and thinking like this. It's all about exclusivity and superiority to these people. So many med students share this way of thinking. They live in this bubble where they think they are so amazing and above everyone else.
I hate those med student memes where they show them passed out over their study notes and shit like that that have been posted gratuitiously all over our year's facebook community. I'm sure it gets harder in later years but for us students who've only experienced first year, I'm pretty sure we've experienced similar levels of study and pressure to most of the other faculties at uni.
Little Mishelle who does architecture could run circles in terms of study and hardworkingness around these jacked-up twats.
There are so many smart people in other courses and other faculties and they don't throw a hissy fit about how intelligent and hardworking they are. So many med students think they are entitled to walk all over people and bask in their own excellence.
They can fuck themselves.
J
I Can't Even Look at You
Fucked up my $5 tribal print tube skirt from Cotton On. It was too loose at the bottom resulting in that flappy, wind-romper thing at the back so I tried to sew it tighter there. It's not heinous but the skirt doesn't lie as flat on the sides anymore resulting in some lumpy-lumps and rolls around there. I will wear it tonight at Kim's birthday and you can all critique it.
It's kind of weird but I haven't seen a lot of the high school friends I'm expecting to see there tonight in a long time. I have a pus-filled pustule next to my nose on the left side of my face. It will greet them all as they come up to say hello. To these naysayers, my pustule (fondly nicknamed PPP) shall say to them, "Hola, mi amigos! Let me squirt pus on you! PPP!" PPP is also PPP's catchphrase. Copyrighted, mofos.
I just finished a super personal short story yesterday. It's inspired by a crush I used to (still kind of) have except I have taken this crush and turned our "story" into a super fantastical and romantic whirlwind of epic proportions (just think Logan and "I Hear The Bells" on repeat) with a bittersweet ending. I write a lot of these kind of stories based on fantasies and then I have fantasies about these fantasies in which I get married to said crush and they find my story and then they are so moved and touched by my obvious love for them that we fall even deeper in love.
Except, friends, it would go more like this...
INT. COSY BEDROOM. DAYTIME:
Me: What's that?
Flawless Suitor: Your story. I read it.
Me: Oh...
Flawless Suitor: Have you been stalking me? How long has this been going on for?
Me: FS, that's not how it is at all! I love you! I've always loved you!
Flawless Suitor: Well, I'm leaving you and I'm never coming back! I can't believe I couldn't see past your banging bod and super delicious face to that obsessive and stalkery personality you have under that delightful coating!
Me: Please! Don't leave me, sir!
Flawless Suitor: I can't even look at you.
FS proceeds to take our dog, the dog we bought together, and leaves. With my dog. Woofy (or Ducky, I haven't decided yet).
One day, I will live vicariously by actually living instead of through stories and fantasies about stories.
J
It's kind of weird but I haven't seen a lot of the high school friends I'm expecting to see there tonight in a long time. I have a pus-filled pustule next to my nose on the left side of my face. It will greet them all as they come up to say hello. To these naysayers, my pustule (fondly nicknamed PPP) shall say to them, "Hola, mi amigos! Let me squirt pus on you! PPP!" PPP is also PPP's catchphrase. Copyrighted, mofos.
I just finished a super personal short story yesterday. It's inspired by a crush I used to (still kind of) have except I have taken this crush and turned our "story" into a super fantastical and romantic whirlwind of epic proportions (just think Logan and "I Hear The Bells" on repeat) with a bittersweet ending. I write a lot of these kind of stories based on fantasies and then I have fantasies about these fantasies in which I get married to said crush and they find my story and then they are so moved and touched by my obvious love for them that we fall even deeper in love.
Except, friends, it would go more like this...
INT. COSY BEDROOM. DAYTIME:
Me: What's that?
Flawless Suitor: Your story. I read it.
Me: Oh...
Flawless Suitor: Have you been stalking me? How long has this been going on for?
Me: FS, that's not how it is at all! I love you! I've always loved you!
Flawless Suitor: Well, I'm leaving you and I'm never coming back! I can't believe I couldn't see past your banging bod and super delicious face to that obsessive and stalkery personality you have under that delightful coating!
Me: Please! Don't leave me, sir!
Flawless Suitor: I can't even look at you.
FS proceeds to take our dog, the dog we bought together, and leaves. With my dog. Woofy (or Ducky, I haven't decided yet).
One day, I will live vicariously by actually living instead of through stories and fantasies about stories.
J
The Truth of the Matter
I shit on hipsters every single day. Not literally but mentally. I look at them and I vom a little in my mouth.
But the fact is, I wish I could pull off being a hipster. If I was an emaciated Caucasian girl, maybe I could wear some of those wool sweaters and fedoras (a little too mainstream for your average, mainstream hipster).
I (secretly) wish I could have that well-perfected hipster hair. White girls with slightly lank, very long, soft-looking (like baby ducklings...) hair that is so often worn seemingly unbrushed and draped across slender shoulders (not going to happen: my shoulders could be described as either robust or infamous).
A candid confession from me. Until the day I turn into a frighteningly thin (I always imagine they have really bad breath for some reason...) White girl who has multiple satchels and various brogues/oxfords, I will continue to shit on hipsters in a daily fashion.
J
But the fact is, I wish I could pull off being a hipster. If I was an emaciated Caucasian girl, maybe I could wear some of those wool sweaters and fedoras (a little too mainstream for your average, mainstream hipster).
I (secretly) wish I could have that well-perfected hipster hair. White girls with slightly lank, very long, soft-looking (like baby ducklings...) hair that is so often worn seemingly unbrushed and draped across slender shoulders (not going to happen: my shoulders could be described as either robust or infamous).
A candid confession from me. Until the day I turn into a frighteningly thin (I always imagine they have really bad breath for some reason...) White girl who has multiple satchels and various brogues/oxfords, I will continue to shit on hipsters in a daily fashion.
J
Zac & the Condom
To be honest, it makes me like him more. He's so damn bashful and cute when he turns around with his hand to his mouth, trying to stifle his adorable shame.
J
Friday, February 24, 2012
Fighting Fire With Ice
I went grocery shopping with my momma today. This thing happened involving a missing docket and a petrol voucher. We had to go back to the store. Shenanigans ensued. It ended with the check-out chick (except she was middle aged) directing my mum to the service desk. When my mum turned around, the lady did this disgruntled eye-roll jerky thing which I think she saw me see.
I don't know, mate.
My mum needs to work on her interactive skills. She's a very friendly lady. But if she has a complaint or if something goes wrong especially when at a shop or dealing with banks or that sort of thing, she can become inadvertently aggressive. She doesn't even realize she's being aggressive and she doesn't mean to be. It really gets to me.
I have this thing. Whenever someone is rude to me, I become overly courteous and polite. If someone is in my face, I'll just not say anything and stare at them until they're done. I don't know if this is the right thing to do because sometimes I leave and I feel so angry. When I get angry, I get violent (although I don't punch someone out, I have this urge to do so. My whole body will just tense up and I'll really want to just hurt the person. I may or may not be a bad mother some day...). But I try and control this.
I'll say thank you and please and have a nice day and I'll be extremely patient. Sometimes I do it to mock them and I sincerely hope they notice the stark difference between their behaviour and mine. See, I figure that if they notice how polite I'm being they'll start behaving in a similar way once they realize how ridiculous and rude they're being.
I'll smile sweetly at them as they raise their voice at me.
I'll say thank you excessively when they are unhelpful.
I'll act like they've been the most helpful and considerate shop attendant I've ever had.
My hope is they'll feel so bad about how they've acted, especially when faced with such a pleasant and immensely attractive girl, that they'll go home and either change their ways or hate themselves forever.
I even do it to my dad sometimes. For example, he'll tell me to close the fridge door softer in a displeased and angry tone. Sweetly, I will say to him, "Oh, I didn't realize I was closing it loudly. Thank you so much for telling me! I'll make sure to close it softer in the future!"
But sometimes, especially when faced with these shop attendants who are rude automatically with no reason, I wish I could just lash out and be equally rude back to them. Or follow them home after their shift and bludgeon them to death.
J
I don't know, mate.
My mum needs to work on her interactive skills. She's a very friendly lady. But if she has a complaint or if something goes wrong especially when at a shop or dealing with banks or that sort of thing, she can become inadvertently aggressive. She doesn't even realize she's being aggressive and she doesn't mean to be. It really gets to me.
I have this thing. Whenever someone is rude to me, I become overly courteous and polite. If someone is in my face, I'll just not say anything and stare at them until they're done. I don't know if this is the right thing to do because sometimes I leave and I feel so angry. When I get angry, I get violent (although I don't punch someone out, I have this urge to do so. My whole body will just tense up and I'll really want to just hurt the person. I may or may not be a bad mother some day...). But I try and control this.
I'll say thank you and please and have a nice day and I'll be extremely patient. Sometimes I do it to mock them and I sincerely hope they notice the stark difference between their behaviour and mine. See, I figure that if they notice how polite I'm being they'll start behaving in a similar way once they realize how ridiculous and rude they're being.
I'll smile sweetly at them as they raise their voice at me.
I'll say thank you excessively when they are unhelpful.
I'll act like they've been the most helpful and considerate shop attendant I've ever had.
My hope is they'll feel so bad about how they've acted, especially when faced with such a pleasant and immensely attractive girl, that they'll go home and either change their ways or hate themselves forever.
I even do it to my dad sometimes. For example, he'll tell me to close the fridge door softer in a displeased and angry tone. Sweetly, I will say to him, "Oh, I didn't realize I was closing it loudly. Thank you so much for telling me! I'll make sure to close it softer in the future!"
But sometimes, especially when faced with these shop attendants who are rude automatically with no reason, I wish I could just lash out and be equally rude back to them. Or follow them home after their shift and bludgeon them to death.
J
Thursday, February 23, 2012
The Pretty Reckless - "You"
Not sure about the pantsless Taylor Momsen singing and watching herself have sex with some mystery guy, but this is my favourite The Pretty Reckless song.
J
The Past 24 Hours
In the past 24 hours:
1. Watched Taylor & Zac's duet and Dance Dares at least 10 times a piece.
2. Mulled over the uneven legs on the various shorts I have made from jeans I couldn't wear anymore.
3. Thought about the 50c Maccas soft serve I will be treating myself to this arvo.
4. Wondering how Taylor will wear her hair when I see her Friday week (!!!).
5. Watched My Kitchen Rules, hating on THOMAS.
6. Thought about the various actors who used to play characters in the TV shows I loved as a kid and a teenager and being sad over the fact they haven't worked in years and years (eg: Teal Redmann who played Louise in Gilmore Girls).
7. Dreaded going back to uni.
8. Tossed up between keeping or growing out my fringe.
9. Read the entirety of laurenconrad.com (not even shitting you).
10. Wished I had curly hair so I could have soft, romantic updos and conquer the infamous sock bun instead of having sticky, straight hair that pokes out like... something sticky and straight.
11. Had fantasies about moving to a country village in the UK and having a hot neighbour who falls in love with me and has rampant sex with me on the UK countryside.
Heh.
J
1. Watched Taylor & Zac's duet and Dance Dares at least 10 times a piece.
2. Mulled over the uneven legs on the various shorts I have made from jeans I couldn't wear anymore.
3. Thought about the 50c Maccas soft serve I will be treating myself to this arvo.
4. Wondering how Taylor will wear her hair when I see her Friday week (!!!).
5. Watched My Kitchen Rules, hating on THOMAS.
6. Thought about the various actors who used to play characters in the TV shows I loved as a kid and a teenager and being sad over the fact they haven't worked in years and years (eg: Teal Redmann who played Louise in Gilmore Girls).
7. Dreaded going back to uni.
8. Tossed up between keeping or growing out my fringe.
9. Read the entirety of laurenconrad.com (not even shitting you).
10. Wished I had curly hair so I could have soft, romantic updos and conquer the infamous sock bun instead of having sticky, straight hair that pokes out like... something sticky and straight.
11. Had fantasies about moving to a country village in the UK and having a hot neighbour who falls in love with me and has rampant sex with me on the UK countryside.
Heh.
J
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Taylor Swift and Zac Efron Sing a Duet!
I hope they become fast friends and go about their business for the next 10 years or so. But in their 10th year of friendship (when they are both aorund 30) they realize they have romantic feelings for each other. They get married and have normal-heighted children (because she is really tall and he is quite short). Sorry, Vanessa. You've been replaced.
Also, loling at his elementary guitar skills. Only next to Zac could Tay's guitar skillz resemble skillz. Adore them both.
I forgot how much I find Le Zac attractive. I find him seriously, seriously attractive. Also, if anyone watched the beginning of their interview while they were walking in, how is it possible that they looked the same height when Taylor is 5'11 and Zac is around 5'8-5'9? Seriously gurl, you best be working on that posture...
J
Zac & Taylor's Dance Dare
I approve. This is too cute. I love them. I love Taylor's bootylicious moves by the Biebs.
J
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
PLL Thoughts
The latest episode of Pretty Little Liars (Breaking the Code) is so fucking fabulous, my knees are shaking. It is so great. I don't know what it is about it... but things are finally happening:
1. Emily's acting seems to have stepped up a notch. I was actually convinced about her dramas with Paige and actually felt real sympathy for her due to her issues with Maya (the scoundrel) who strikes me as a really boring, one-dimensional, kind of bitchy, ungrateful, cruel character.
2. Spencer and Wren... They are quite delicious together. There's a scene where Spencer gets drunk and sleeps over his house and, in the morning, wakes up and realizes she's late for school and very realistically douses her mouth with mouthspray and promptly chokes on it. I thought this was a lovely touch, very realistic and appreciated. Also, Footface Toby does nothing for me and you know me, hotties or clothes; that's my TV watching criteria.
3. You know I love Hanna. Kase klosed. She didn't do much this episode but I liked her navy blue slouchy tank, really cute.
4. I think someone on ontd said it best when they called Aria Pretty Little Liar's Susan Delfino. She's kind of boring even though she's basically meant to be the main character. There to look pretty and act dumb and do shit. My heart belongs to the other three, increasingly Emily even though she's probably my least fave of my fave three...
5. Holy crap, Aria's shit with Ezra this episode seriously tugged my chordae tendinae. Maybe I'm hormonal and emotional but I felt myself getting misty eyed and now I want those two crazy kids to pull through... I am even finding Aria's acting tolerable in this episode especially her twitchy-mouthed stare-down with her mother at her, Eztra and her mum's tea party.
The end.
J
1. Emily's acting seems to have stepped up a notch. I was actually convinced about her dramas with Paige and actually felt real sympathy for her due to her issues with Maya (the scoundrel) who strikes me as a really boring, one-dimensional, kind of bitchy, ungrateful, cruel character.
2. Spencer and Wren... They are quite delicious together. There's a scene where Spencer gets drunk and sleeps over his house and, in the morning, wakes up and realizes she's late for school and very realistically douses her mouth with mouthspray and promptly chokes on it. I thought this was a lovely touch, very realistic and appreciated. Also, Footface Toby does nothing for me and you know me, hotties or clothes; that's my TV watching criteria.
3. You know I love Hanna. Kase klosed. She didn't do much this episode but I liked her navy blue slouchy tank, really cute.
4. I think someone on ontd said it best when they called Aria Pretty Little Liar's Susan Delfino. She's kind of boring even though she's basically meant to be the main character. There to look pretty and act dumb and do shit. My heart belongs to the other three, increasingly Emily even though she's probably my least fave of my fave three...
5. Holy crap, Aria's shit with Ezra this episode seriously tugged my chordae tendinae. Maybe I'm hormonal and emotional but I felt myself getting misty eyed and now I want those two crazy kids to pull through... I am even finding Aria's acting tolerable in this episode especially her twitchy-mouthed stare-down with her mother at her, Eztra and her mum's tea party.
The end.
J
Thoughts on Returning to Uni
Today, I ate too much food at Little Mishelle's house, watched three movies, went for a really sweaty (in a terribly sexy way, obviously) morning walk and basked in front of two box fans. Not a bad achievement.
I can't believe uni starts next Mundag. I am pretty distressed about this. Quite frankly, I hate uni people. They are mostly pompous or annoying or fake or I just don't like them for some reason I can't put my finger on. It is a necessity that we start up weekly BCC lunches again because those were basically my favourite parts of uni (even though I skipped a few because I always finished at 10am on Monday and wanted to get home and change into PJs after being out of them for five hours).
I may end up going to O-Day this Friday. My brother gets back Thursday evening and we were supposed to go get lunch or go for a sibling adventure or something but if he's too tired or has jetlag I'll probably end up at O-Day. Hopefully, it will be very different to last year's in which it was pushing 40 degrees, humid, mosquito-ridden and lacking in free shit. I remember that during the commencement ceremony, my top was literally stuck to my skin from my copious amounts of sweat.
I also still find Zac Efron undeniably sexy:
And he has a sexy ass voice. I remember he was dubbed almost completely in HSM I but there was a part when he stalked Gabriella onto her balcony and sang part of Start of Something New. When I first heard him sing I thought he sounded so different to the rest of HSM I but found his voice really sweet and charming and real whereas all the other songs sounded very manufactured and doctored (not that I don't love them. Ay Caliente!). Oh Zac. You still have my heart.
J
I can't believe uni starts next Mundag. I am pretty distressed about this. Quite frankly, I hate uni people. They are mostly pompous or annoying or fake or I just don't like them for some reason I can't put my finger on. It is a necessity that we start up weekly BCC lunches again because those were basically my favourite parts of uni (even though I skipped a few because I always finished at 10am on Monday and wanted to get home and change into PJs after being out of them for five hours).
I may end up going to O-Day this Friday. My brother gets back Thursday evening and we were supposed to go get lunch or go for a sibling adventure or something but if he's too tired or has jetlag I'll probably end up at O-Day. Hopefully, it will be very different to last year's in which it was pushing 40 degrees, humid, mosquito-ridden and lacking in free shit. I remember that during the commencement ceremony, my top was literally stuck to my skin from my copious amounts of sweat.
I also still find Zac Efron undeniably sexy:
And he has a sexy ass voice. I remember he was dubbed almost completely in HSM I but there was a part when he stalked Gabriella onto her balcony and sang part of Start of Something New. When I first heard him sing I thought he sounded so different to the rest of HSM I but found his voice really sweet and charming and real whereas all the other songs sounded very manufactured and doctored (not that I don't love them. Ay Caliente!). Oh Zac. You still have my heart.
J
Monday, February 20, 2012
Coldplay - "Speed Of Sound"
Talent is sexy.
I find Chris Martin completely physically unattractive. And yet...
J
On and Poppin'
If I have a son I shall name him Maximillian IV so everyone will think he is royalty. They will ask, "So your husband's name is Maximillian?" and I may answer with, "No, my name is Maximillian," or with, "There are no other Maximillians in my family." It's funnier this way. I can confuse them then steal their purse/belongings/car/children while they scratch their heads.
In my ongoing documentation (not really) of my OCD habits, thus far I have:
1. Stared at some messy (to me, anyway) whiteout in my brand spankin' new diary. It has macarons on it. I abhor macarons mostly for what they represent and ever so slightly for how they taste (sticky and stickily sweet). They represent excess (have you seen the price of almond meal lately? Bloody hell, never will I make another flourless chocolate cake ever again even though it's like eating heaven) and hipsterisms ("Ooh! Look at my macaron! I bought it for $20 000 from Jean Pierre Yo Momma. Masterchef? No, I've never heard of Masterchef. I bought this here macaron because I was just idly strolling past in my big, slouchy, grandpa sweater and Raybans and glanced into the shop and saw this delightful little morsel of delight and decided to try it. Boy, is it great!*&234jrhdsf").
2. Stared at a line of loose thread from where I'd unpicked a line of thread that I'd sewn on a long sleeved t-shirt. It was $5 from Jay Jays so obviously I bought it even thought it was a size too large and looked like something purple and made of cotton had vommed all over me. So much cleave, friends. Every time I sat down, babies being pushed past me would lean in reflexively for a suckle. I had to dart away before they stole the milk specially reserved for my future spawn. This morning I took it in a few inches but then I messed up the sleeve and had to unpick leading to angry seam-ripping and some holey-holes (not really but loosened material, you know what I'm talking about) and lots of aggravated staring/swearing. Now, every five minutes, I'm darting to my room to stare at the loosened material and hold it up to the sun and sign mournfully.
So that's basically what's been happening up in here. Absolutely fabulous (ab-fabulous), totally rufus ep of New Girl on last night. Even though I've watched all these episodes multiple times on the internet a few weeks ago, I'm still watching them on TV anyway. Chut-e-ney! Mango chut-e-ney! Mos' def.
It's on and poppin' up in here.
J
In my ongoing documentation (not really) of my OCD habits, thus far I have:
1. Stared at some messy (to me, anyway) whiteout in my brand spankin' new diary. It has macarons on it. I abhor macarons mostly for what they represent and ever so slightly for how they taste (sticky and stickily sweet). They represent excess (have you seen the price of almond meal lately? Bloody hell, never will I make another flourless chocolate cake ever again even though it's like eating heaven) and hipsterisms ("Ooh! Look at my macaron! I bought it for $20 000 from Jean Pierre Yo Momma. Masterchef? No, I've never heard of Masterchef. I bought this here macaron because I was just idly strolling past in my big, slouchy, grandpa sweater and Raybans and glanced into the shop and saw this delightful little morsel of delight and decided to try it. Boy, is it great!*&234jrhdsf").
2. Stared at a line of loose thread from where I'd unpicked a line of thread that I'd sewn on a long sleeved t-shirt. It was $5 from Jay Jays so obviously I bought it even thought it was a size too large and looked like something purple and made of cotton had vommed all over me. So much cleave, friends. Every time I sat down, babies being pushed past me would lean in reflexively for a suckle. I had to dart away before they stole the milk specially reserved for my future spawn. This morning I took it in a few inches but then I messed up the sleeve and had to unpick leading to angry seam-ripping and some holey-holes (not really but loosened material, you know what I'm talking about) and lots of aggravated staring/swearing. Now, every five minutes, I'm darting to my room to stare at the loosened material and hold it up to the sun and sign mournfully.
So that's basically what's been happening up in here. Absolutely fabulous (ab-fabulous), totally rufus ep of New Girl on last night. Even though I've watched all these episodes multiple times on the internet a few weeks ago, I'm still watching them on TV anyway. Chut-e-ney! Mango chut-e-ney! Mos' def.
It's on and poppin' up in here.
J
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Damon Wayans... Jr.
Holy shit.
So, I knew that Coach from New Girl was a Wayan. What I didn't know was that he is the son of Damon Wayans; the pa from My Wife and Kids, the major from Major Payne and many other wonderful things.
I know the last time I saw him was on My Wife and Kids which was quite a few years ago but he seriously doesn't seem old enough to be Coach's father. I thought they were brothers or cousins or something! I'm just amazed right now.
J
So, I knew that Coach from New Girl was a Wayan. What I didn't know was that he is the son of Damon Wayans; the pa from My Wife and Kids, the major from Major Payne and many other wonderful things.
I know the last time I saw him was on My Wife and Kids which was quite a few years ago but he seriously doesn't seem old enough to be Coach's father. I thought they were brothers or cousins or something! I'm just amazed right now.
J
Saturday, February 18, 2012
There Is... Handsomeness Involved
Har har har har har etc. etc. etc: http://www.vulture.com/2012/02/jon-hamm-esquire-profile-ridiculous.html
Also, this may be the cutest thing I've seen in my long and tumultuous life making all the hardships I have endured worth it: http://gofugyourself.com/well-played-david-beckham-and-harper-seven-omg-02-2012/david-beckham-with-his-daughter-harper-out-for-lunch-in-nyc
And finally, this is the best I've seen Taylor Momsen look in a long time. I mean, my God, she's wearing a dress that does not expose her labia. I might even go so far as to call it modest: http://gofugyourself.com/fug-or-fab-taylor-momsen-02-2012
J
Also, this may be the cutest thing I've seen in my long and tumultuous life making all the hardships I have endured worth it: http://gofugyourself.com/well-played-david-beckham-and-harper-seven-omg-02-2012/david-beckham-with-his-daughter-harper-out-for-lunch-in-nyc
And finally, this is the best I've seen Taylor Momsen look in a long time. I mean, my God, she's wearing a dress that does not expose her labia. I might even go so far as to call it modest: http://gofugyourself.com/fug-or-fab-taylor-momsen-02-2012
J
Friday, February 17, 2012
Smell So Good, It Hurts
Just thought I'd share the fact that I smell really good right now. I washed my hair this morning (I KNOW, fucking miracle) and I put on deodarant (oh shit!) and parfum (I'm using the same shit I've had since I was a kid. Can parfum go bad? Who cars, it will ferment and smell even better... like Vegemite). I want to roll around and bask in my own scenty glory.
I also put on a thick layer of sunscreen and am letting it dry so am avoiding making any skin-artificial-surface-contact. This results in me perching on my chair like a dislocated spider (spiders don't have bones so this comparison doesn't really work).
My hair is a lot longer now. Those who haven't seen it in a while may be shocked (or may not be shocked because they probably know that's how hair works. It grows).
Shit. I smell so good (it will probably wear off by the time I go to lunch with fiends later and everyone will think I'm lying but I swear I'm not, it's like I've been running in a field of wild flowers and gyrating madly on them to gain some of their fruitatious scentiness).
J
I also put on a thick layer of sunscreen and am letting it dry so am avoiding making any skin-artificial-surface-contact. This results in me perching on my chair like a dislocated spider (spiders don't have bones so this comparison doesn't really work).
My hair is a lot longer now. Those who haven't seen it in a while may be shocked (or may not be shocked because they probably know that's how hair works. It grows).
Shit. I smell so good (it will probably wear off by the time I go to lunch with fiends later and everyone will think I'm lying but I swear I'm not, it's like I've been running in a field of wild flowers and gyrating madly on them to gain some of their fruitatious scentiness).
J
The Revenant
Sincerely one of the best movies I've ever seen: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1336006/
I was laughing, crying, cringing, snorting, shellacking, spelunking and all other sorts of shenanigans. Ya'll should watch it.
Off to drown my sorrows (last week of holidays next week...) in copious amounts of carbs at Hans with Little Mishelle and Sarah later.
J
I was laughing, crying, cringing, snorting, shellacking, spelunking and all other sorts of shenanigans. Ya'll should watch it.
Off to drown my sorrows (last week of holidays next week...) in copious amounts of carbs at Hans with Little Mishelle and Sarah later.
J
Granparial Mischief
My grandpa calls Scotch Fingers (his favourite biscuit) "Scottish Fingers."
He has a strange obsession with chips. I've caught him eating chips and cake for breakfast. While he was eating lunch yesterday, he got up to get chips then asked me where they were when he couldn't find them. A whole bunch of rice and tofu fell out of his mouth when he started talking.
He "loves" watching nature docos (I'm skeptical and think maybe he doesn't actually love them but we all just are under the impression that he does? He looks kind of bored when he watches them) but tends to fast forward through the whole thing (he did this yesterday while four episodes of Man vs. Wild).
He goes home tomorrow afternoon.
J
He has a strange obsession with chips. I've caught him eating chips and cake for breakfast. While he was eating lunch yesterday, he got up to get chips then asked me where they were when he couldn't find them. A whole bunch of rice and tofu fell out of his mouth when he started talking.
He "loves" watching nature docos (I'm skeptical and think maybe he doesn't actually love them but we all just are under the impression that he does? He looks kind of bored when he watches them) but tends to fast forward through the whole thing (he did this yesterday while four episodes of Man vs. Wild).
He goes home tomorrow afternoon.
J
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Sleep
Most people would list sleeping as one of their favourite pastimes. But what do we actually love about sleeping (given that we're unconscious while doing so)?
Is it the feeling of being on the brink of sleep after we go to bed? Is it waking up in the middle of the night and blissfully falling back into a shut-eyed lull (in my opinion, waking up in the middle of the night, regardless of whether you fall back to sleep easily, is the worst thing in the history of history)? Is it waking up when the sun is shining and still being able to close your eyes and wake up two hours later? Is it lying in bed in the morning and staring up at your ceiling (or your mosquito net in my case)? Is it waking up refreshed, recharged and with a hefty dose of eye crust ingrained into your nasolacrimal duct (phwoar yeah, first medicine finally becoming useful)?
We don't really like sleep. We like what comes before (SEX) and what comes after (BREAKFAST) and all that jazz. See, I don't want to sleep forever even though I've thought about it; how it could be excellent, how it would be great to escape from banalities as well as sadness and depression, but in the end I still want to wake up. I still want to wake up and stare at my mosquito net and luxuriate in how relaxed and warm my body feels.
J
Is it the feeling of being on the brink of sleep after we go to bed? Is it waking up in the middle of the night and blissfully falling back into a shut-eyed lull (in my opinion, waking up in the middle of the night, regardless of whether you fall back to sleep easily, is the worst thing in the history of history)? Is it waking up when the sun is shining and still being able to close your eyes and wake up two hours later? Is it lying in bed in the morning and staring up at your ceiling (or your mosquito net in my case)? Is it waking up refreshed, recharged and with a hefty dose of eye crust ingrained into your nasolacrimal duct (phwoar yeah, first medicine finally becoming useful)?
We don't really like sleep. We like what comes before (SEX) and what comes after (BREAKFAST) and all that jazz. See, I don't want to sleep forever even though I've thought about it; how it could be excellent, how it would be great to escape from banalities as well as sadness and depression, but in the end I still want to wake up. I still want to wake up and stare at my mosquito net and luxuriate in how relaxed and warm my body feels.
J
Shit I Do
I do a lot of weird (and wonderful, let's be honest: I'm fabulous) shit everyday. I think everyone does; what's normal to me is abnormal to you. For example, on a recent trip to Ikea, Big Michelle and Little Mishelle kept ragging on having toilets in bathrooms (as one does in an ensuite). Big Michelle kept saying, "What if you stink the place up?" and Little Mishelle said something about falling into the toilet or dropping your clothes in it or something (they're a bit strange). I find toilets in bathrooms completely normal (even fabulous) as it's time efficient and space efficient.
I like the idea of having a huge walk-in closet (I actually need one as the bar in my closet has bowed down with the weight of all my high-class, high-fashion, extremely expensive clothes... I mean, have you SEEN the number of high-quality $5 t-shirts I recently bought from OK-Mart and other?). I imagine that my future huge walk-in closet will double as a bedroom for me. I like the idea of hiding snacks in my huge walk-in closet in case I get hungry while choosing my outfit for the day.
Whenever the sky is the least bit dark and there are clouds and it's kind of chilly and windy, I go sit out on the swing in my backyard (our neighbour across the road gave it to us when we were little kids!) and swing about on that like the primate I am. This usually involves me coming close to falling off several times, sometimes banging my head on the fence while I try to go higher and higher. Usually, around the 10th minute, I get scared that there might be stick insects or roachies or spideys on the swing (it's really old and rarely used) and run off into the house.
I don't know when I really got scared of bugs. Sometimes, it depends on the day and the time and the place and the people I'm with. Sometimes, I build up the fear in my mind while other times I'm just like BAM and the dirt (or bug) is gone. The other day, my brother trapped a moth in a cup and told me to put it outside. In fact, he threatened me and forced me to put it outside (I hate moths because they're like dusty spaz machines). I complied because he said he would put it on my desk or in my bed or in my hair. So I put the cup with the cardboard outside but then I froze. I was too scared to knock the cup over in case the moth flew in my face. I began pleading with my brother to do it for me. While doing so, my brother locked the door so I couldn't get back inside.
I nearly shat myself, friends. In fact, in my tears (I started tearing up) I think I peed myself just a few mLs. Then a gust of wind blew the cup over and I swear, I THINK I REALLY DID SHAT MYSELF BUT I THINK THE MEMORY IS SO PAINFUL THAT I BLOCKED IT OUT. I freaked the fuck out. My mother was telling my brother to open the door before this but when I started screaming after the cup blew over she started laughing at me. It was like the whole world was turning against me. It was horrible.
Whenever I watch Better Homes & Gardens, I always sit upside down on the couch. I don't know why.
Holidays are ending soon and I'm pretty cut about it but whatchu gonna do?
J
I like the idea of having a huge walk-in closet (I actually need one as the bar in my closet has bowed down with the weight of all my high-class, high-fashion, extremely expensive clothes... I mean, have you SEEN the number of high-quality $5 t-shirts I recently bought from OK-Mart and other?). I imagine that my future huge walk-in closet will double as a bedroom for me. I like the idea of hiding snacks in my huge walk-in closet in case I get hungry while choosing my outfit for the day.
Whenever the sky is the least bit dark and there are clouds and it's kind of chilly and windy, I go sit out on the swing in my backyard (our neighbour across the road gave it to us when we were little kids!) and swing about on that like the primate I am. This usually involves me coming close to falling off several times, sometimes banging my head on the fence while I try to go higher and higher. Usually, around the 10th minute, I get scared that there might be stick insects or roachies or spideys on the swing (it's really old and rarely used) and run off into the house.
I don't know when I really got scared of bugs. Sometimes, it depends on the day and the time and the place and the people I'm with. Sometimes, I build up the fear in my mind while other times I'm just like BAM and the dirt (or bug) is gone. The other day, my brother trapped a moth in a cup and told me to put it outside. In fact, he threatened me and forced me to put it outside (I hate moths because they're like dusty spaz machines). I complied because he said he would put it on my desk or in my bed or in my hair. So I put the cup with the cardboard outside but then I froze. I was too scared to knock the cup over in case the moth flew in my face. I began pleading with my brother to do it for me. While doing so, my brother locked the door so I couldn't get back inside.
I nearly shat myself, friends. In fact, in my tears (I started tearing up) I think I peed myself just a few mLs. Then a gust of wind blew the cup over and I swear, I THINK I REALLY DID SHAT MYSELF BUT I THINK THE MEMORY IS SO PAINFUL THAT I BLOCKED IT OUT. I freaked the fuck out. My mother was telling my brother to open the door before this but when I started screaming after the cup blew over she started laughing at me. It was like the whole world was turning against me. It was horrible.
Whenever I watch Better Homes & Gardens, I always sit upside down on the couch. I don't know why.
Holidays are ending soon and I'm pretty cut about it but whatchu gonna do?
J
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Revenge
Hooked on Revenge. As I told Little Mishelle this morning, it's mostly for the hotties and the clothes.
It's so weird seeing Connor Paolo play someone who isn't Eric van Der Woodsen especially since his character is like the polar opposite. Maybe all that musculature was hiding under his CK suits (idek about male fashion, excuse my naivete) but New Eric is all boaty and muscly and a lady killer and manly and it's really messing with my shit.
Also, the Go Fug Yourself commentaries about this show are HILARIOUS. All the slides basically end with something like... REVENGE! Or THE BEST ANSWER IS REVENGE or hilarious things like that that just speak to the essence of my soul and humour: http://gofugyourself.com/fug-the-show-revenge-the-last-three-episodes-01-2012
J
It's so weird seeing Connor Paolo play someone who isn't Eric van Der Woodsen especially since his character is like the polar opposite. Maybe all that musculature was hiding under his CK suits (idek about male fashion, excuse my naivete) but New Eric is all boaty and muscly and a lady killer and manly and it's really messing with my shit.
Also, the Go Fug Yourself commentaries about this show are HILARIOUS. All the slides basically end with something like... REVENGE! Or THE BEST ANSWER IS REVENGE or hilarious things like that that just speak to the essence of my soul and humour: http://gofugyourself.com/fug-the-show-revenge-the-last-three-episodes-01-2012
J
Monday, February 13, 2012
The Sound of Music & Other Shenannigans
So we have been eating a lot of cake around these parts of the woods recently. My grandpa's 90th birthday is today. I am pretty impressed, to be honest, and hope I am still alive and kicking at 90 years old to ingest as much cake as him. I have included some pictures of said cakes (that's right, bitches, plural).
I also had the viewing pleasure of watching The Sound of Music yesterday and holy crap, that movie is awesome. My expectations were of something too sickly for my tastes but I was so wrong, friends, because that movie is fairly perfect. I can't stop singing the songs, particularly Eldeweiss (don't even get me started on Christopher Plummer. He is so handsome) and My Favourite Things and The Lonely Goatherd (including yodelling, I think I might be a natural). I think the second part really shocked me as I wasn't expecting content like that.
My brother went to Kenya Sunday morning (3am morning call and everything).
A couple of weeks, I tried to make one of my half-cardigans smaller by sewing the inside seams. It resulted in a lot of puckering around the armpit. It wasn't really noticeable (except when I lifted my arm but how often do I do that except when I desire to expose people to my underarm stench?) but then I was watching Homeland yesterday night and the wife (the alien from V) was wearing a similar cardigan except it fit her so nicely that I had sudden inspiration to perfect my half-cardigan. Cue an email to Lizzie of Cotton & Curls (http://cottonandcurls.blogspot.com.au/) asking her what to do. She replied within nine hours. It was pretty majestic. I trust her enough to make some crucial cuts into my half-cardigan.
Anyway, some pictures to savour:
I also had the viewing pleasure of watching The Sound of Music yesterday and holy crap, that movie is awesome. My expectations were of something too sickly for my tastes but I was so wrong, friends, because that movie is fairly perfect. I can't stop singing the songs, particularly Eldeweiss (don't even get me started on Christopher Plummer. He is so handsome) and My Favourite Things and The Lonely Goatherd (including yodelling, I think I might be a natural). I think the second part really shocked me as I wasn't expecting content like that.
My brother went to Kenya Sunday morning (3am morning call and everything).
A couple of weeks, I tried to make one of my half-cardigans smaller by sewing the inside seams. It resulted in a lot of puckering around the armpit. It wasn't really noticeable (except when I lifted my arm but how often do I do that except when I desire to expose people to my underarm stench?) but then I was watching Homeland yesterday night and the wife (the alien from V) was wearing a similar cardigan except it fit her so nicely that I had sudden inspiration to perfect my half-cardigan. Cue an email to Lizzie of Cotton & Curls (http://cottonandcurls.blogspot.com.au/) asking her what to do. She replied within nine hours. It was pretty majestic. I trust her enough to make some crucial cuts into my half-cardigan.
Anyway, some pictures to savour:
Treasure mudcake from the Cheesecake Shop, worth the pretty penny.
Yeah, I picked up this avocado from the side of the road while on morning walk with Little Mishelle. Suck it, Little Mishelle who had too much pride to pick one up, because it was edible and derriciousJ
Taylor @ Grammy's
Taylor looking fucking fierce at the Grammy's. I love her hair (thank you Jesus, she pulled that fugly ass fringe back) and I think the dress is well suited to her slim physique and makes her look luxurious and regal.
While it's not my favourite look (I still miss that insane curly hair from the early years and I would love to see her wear something less theatrical and a little more modern like this:
... which, as we all know, is basically the most beautiful dress to ever walk the earth... Seriously, I want to bury my face in it), she still looks good. You are back in my good books, babe.
J
While it's not my favourite look (I still miss that insane curly hair from the early years and I would love to see her wear something less theatrical and a little more modern like this:
... which, as we all know, is basically the most beautiful dress to ever walk the earth... Seriously, I want to bury my face in it), she still looks good. You are back in my good books, babe.
J
Sunday, February 12, 2012
OCD or Perfectionist?
I either have a very mild case (disputable) of OCD or a very severe case of perfectionism. I recently (as in two minutes ago) spent about one hour unpicking and resewing a pair of cutoffs I made this morning as the legs were about 5mm out. The unpick-sew cycle went on at least five times.
Sewing is both the most rewarding and frustrating thing I have done in the last 18 years (I imagine learning to walk might be somewhat frustrating as well? But then again, I doubt babies give a shit whether they learn to walk or not. They are more interested in shitting in their pantaloons).
J
Sewing is both the most rewarding and frustrating thing I have done in the last 18 years (I imagine learning to walk might be somewhat frustrating as well? But then again, I doubt babies give a shit whether they learn to walk or not. They are more interested in shitting in their pantaloons).
J
Saturday, February 11, 2012
TMI, Leave While You Can
Just ate off corn and chickpeas in my salad for lunch about 15 minutes ago. I am anticipating some toilet time in the near future (puking or otherwise... Unsure as of yet) but I am trying to use sheer willpower and power of the mind and all my hard work in building my immunity over the last almost-19-years to struggle through it with as little damage as possible.
My brother is going to Kenya tonight (technically at 3.30am tomorrow morning) so I hope this does not interfere with me going to the airport...
J
My brother is going to Kenya tonight (technically at 3.30am tomorrow morning) so I hope this does not interfere with me going to the airport...
J
Friday, February 10, 2012
Hanna Marin
I forgot to add to my earlier Pretty Little Liars rant but Hanna Marin is my absolute favourite on the show for some bizarre reason that I cannot quite put my finger on.
Maybe it is because she is blonde and I'm shallow and have a crazy fetish for blondes of all shapes, sizes, races, genders, species, animals, ecosystems, dogs, cats, mice, rats, guinea pigs etc. etc. Maybe it is because she is super hilarious at various points throughout the show (like when she's sharing her room with Emily and starts singing randomly as she listens to her iPod or starts dancing while making breakfast in a completely spastic manner). Maybe it is because she is with the only interesting love interest in the show. Maybe it is because her mum SOLD HER BODY in exchange for her daughter's freedom (after she was caught shoptlifting) and hence her mother's badassness, dedication and familial love has obviously been passed down to her daughter.
I also happen to think Ashley Benson is probably the best actress out of the four main girls on the show. I always start crying whenever she's upset on the show. Watching her down four to six cupcakes (can't remember exactly) after she struggled with weight through her childhood and adolescence (I have shifted back to talking about Hanna) should have delighted me (I like the inclusion of food in TV shows) except my heart poured out to sweet Hanna. It was pretty devastating.
Also, in case anyone's interested, I'm still struggling through that same episode of PLL as before. Shit on a brick, son, this is taking forevs.
That's all.
J
Maybe it is because she is blonde and I'm shallow and have a crazy fetish for blondes of all shapes, sizes, races, genders, species, animals, ecosystems, dogs, cats, mice, rats, guinea pigs etc. etc. Maybe it is because she is super hilarious at various points throughout the show (like when she's sharing her room with Emily and starts singing randomly as she listens to her iPod or starts dancing while making breakfast in a completely spastic manner). Maybe it is because she is with the only interesting love interest in the show. Maybe it is because her mum SOLD HER BODY in exchange for her daughter's freedom (after she was caught shoptlifting) and hence her mother's badassness, dedication and familial love has obviously been passed down to her daughter.
I also happen to think Ashley Benson is probably the best actress out of the four main girls on the show. I always start crying whenever she's upset on the show. Watching her down four to six cupcakes (can't remember exactly) after she struggled with weight through her childhood and adolescence (I have shifted back to talking about Hanna) should have delighted me (I like the inclusion of food in TV shows) except my heart poured out to sweet Hanna. It was pretty devastating.
Also, in case anyone's interested, I'm still struggling through that same episode of PLL as before. Shit on a brick, son, this is taking forevs.
That's all.
J
A Really Exhausting Day (Obviously)
My internet is being a fucking bitch. And not in a good way, not in a way where I'm all, "That's my bitch," and point with a jaunty thumb backwards at my listless follower. More like, my internet is taking ages to load the latest episode of Pretty Little Liars. I'm watching two minute sections at a time then I have to wait for more to load.
It's exhausting especially since I so desperately want to know WHAT ALI'S BROTHER (HOT JASON, not the fuggo one from before) IS DOING BACK IN ROSEWOOD, WHY DOES JENNA PLAY THE FLUTE AND THE PIANO, WHY DO I FIND CALEB SO UN-HOT WHEN HE IS EXACTLY MY TYPE (spicy with longish hair) AND MANY OTHER POIGNANT AND LIFE-ALTERING QUESTIONS.
I bought two pairs of flats ($5 har har) from OK-Mart this morning. I'd been waiting for them to go on special (because full price $12 flats from OK-Mart is NOT OK at all, I must wait for them to be the price that I've probably lost in 5c coins this year alone... and it's only the 10th of February) and finally they were. Except I tried them on for the first time today and the front part is too short so I'm showing some fairly major toe-cleavage but I bought them anyway. The sales lady was apparently trying to convince me to buy them (I don't know why, it's not like she gets commission for $5 flats or anything. Mate, did I spell commission right? Fuck this) and when I expressed my dislike of increasingly evident toe cleavage, she said that's exactly what her daughter said! But then she said they looked good on me ($5 flats will do that, you know).
Later, I was in the next aisle (looking at $8 flats. I know, big spender and all) and heard her trying to convince this other lady to buy the same $5 flats. THE GALL, I tell you. Absolutely appalled at her deceipt and heinous behaviour. NOT OK-Mart at all.
I also bought more clippy hangers from the Reject Shop (FUCK MY LIFE, it's like all I do is scrape the barrel shopping-wise. Next, I'll be going through people's dumpsters, looking for their discarded underwear with the stretched-out elastic and suspicious stains... Which reminds me, we should all look through Bakers' Delight dumpsters because they throw away so much good bread even after the employees take home whatever they want and they give tonnes away to local charities) and black elastic to fix my "skater dress."
Said skater dress has very short shoulder seams (I don't know if that's the right description but it makes me sound in the know) so they always slide of my shoulders (which could be very sexy but it just makes it look like my dress is physically incapable of encompassing my profoundly disfigured man shoulders). So I used my newly bought black elastic ($1.78 from Big-W) to attach the back bits. PROBLEM MOTHERFUCKING SOLVERED.
Fixing my "skater dress" got me thinking... what is a skater dress? Is it a description created specially by Factorie (where I purchased said "skater dress" a few weeks ago) to describe this type of dress? Or is it a universally recognized name? After extensive research, I have concluded... it IS a universally recognized name (for those in the know such as myself) but I can't decide whether the "skater" part refers to skater-skaters (like... "fully sick, mate" type skaters with skater shoes and dungarees out the wazoo) or figure skaters (with nipped in waists and floaty skirts which is basically what a skater dress is).
HELP ME, OBI-WAN KENOBI, YOU'RE MY ONLY HOPE (in figuring out what type of skater "skater dresses" refer to).
J
It's exhausting especially since I so desperately want to know WHAT ALI'S BROTHER (HOT JASON, not the fuggo one from before) IS DOING BACK IN ROSEWOOD, WHY DOES JENNA PLAY THE FLUTE AND THE PIANO, WHY DO I FIND CALEB SO UN-HOT WHEN HE IS EXACTLY MY TYPE (spicy with longish hair) AND MANY OTHER POIGNANT AND LIFE-ALTERING QUESTIONS.
I bought two pairs of flats ($5 har har) from OK-Mart this morning. I'd been waiting for them to go on special (because full price $12 flats from OK-Mart is NOT OK at all, I must wait for them to be the price that I've probably lost in 5c coins this year alone... and it's only the 10th of February) and finally they were. Except I tried them on for the first time today and the front part is too short so I'm showing some fairly major toe-cleavage but I bought them anyway. The sales lady was apparently trying to convince me to buy them (I don't know why, it's not like she gets commission for $5 flats or anything. Mate, did I spell commission right? Fuck this) and when I expressed my dislike of increasingly evident toe cleavage, she said that's exactly what her daughter said! But then she said they looked good on me ($5 flats will do that, you know).
Later, I was in the next aisle (looking at $8 flats. I know, big spender and all) and heard her trying to convince this other lady to buy the same $5 flats. THE GALL, I tell you. Absolutely appalled at her deceipt and heinous behaviour. NOT OK-Mart at all.
I also bought more clippy hangers from the Reject Shop (FUCK MY LIFE, it's like all I do is scrape the barrel shopping-wise. Next, I'll be going through people's dumpsters, looking for their discarded underwear with the stretched-out elastic and suspicious stains... Which reminds me, we should all look through Bakers' Delight dumpsters because they throw away so much good bread even after the employees take home whatever they want and they give tonnes away to local charities) and black elastic to fix my "skater dress."
Said skater dress has very short shoulder seams (I don't know if that's the right description but it makes me sound in the know) so they always slide of my shoulders (which could be very sexy but it just makes it look like my dress is physically incapable of encompassing my profoundly disfigured man shoulders). So I used my newly bought black elastic ($1.78 from Big-W) to attach the back bits. PROBLEM MOTHERFUCKING SOLVERED.
Fixing my "skater dress" got me thinking... what is a skater dress? Is it a description created specially by Factorie (where I purchased said "skater dress" a few weeks ago) to describe this type of dress? Or is it a universally recognized name? After extensive research, I have concluded... it IS a universally recognized name (for those in the know such as myself) but I can't decide whether the "skater" part refers to skater-skaters (like... "fully sick, mate" type skaters with skater shoes and dungarees out the wazoo) or figure skaters (with nipped in waists and floaty skirts which is basically what a skater dress is).
HELP ME, OBI-WAN KENOBI, YOU'RE MY ONLY HOPE (in figuring out what type of skater "skater dresses" refer to).
J
Mid-Rise and Mothers
I really dislike my mother right now: we are in the process of looking for a cake to buy for my grandpa's 90th birthday on Monday so are looking at websites for the cake shops around here. I see a chocolate and praline cake and exclaim the name with glee. She yells at me, "THE CAKE ISN'T FOR YOU." She wants to get him a "soft cake" because he will only eat things that have basically been already chewed for him. She is in desire of a black forest cake. I ask her if she even likes black forest cake.
"THE CAKE ISN'T FOR YOU, BITCH," she yells at me (verbatim, mark my words). WELL, SORRY, BITCH. I was just showing some concern that grandpa might not be in favour of black forest which has cherries and liquor when he is a man of simple tastes like plain chocolate cake or plain vanilla. I could cut someone right now.
In process: phasing out of low-rise jeans from my closet in favour of mid/high-rise to prevent plumber's shot from escaping and warding off all potential male suitors.
Also: bought too many clothes this holidays.
Also: called up the girls I tutor yesterday and have ascertained that indeed I will be tutoring them this year. Panicked for a moment because they went back to school at least a week ago and still hadn't called me. I was sure they did not want my services any more because I increased my charge by $5 (I was already charging them less as they are of the family friend variety). Was ready to call them cheap-ass mofos.
J
"THE CAKE ISN'T FOR YOU, BITCH," she yells at me (verbatim, mark my words). WELL, SORRY, BITCH. I was just showing some concern that grandpa might not be in favour of black forest which has cherries and liquor when he is a man of simple tastes like plain chocolate cake or plain vanilla. I could cut someone right now.
In process: phasing out of low-rise jeans from my closet in favour of mid/high-rise to prevent plumber's shot from escaping and warding off all potential male suitors.
Also: bought too many clothes this holidays.
Also: called up the girls I tutor yesterday and have ascertained that indeed I will be tutoring them this year. Panicked for a moment because they went back to school at least a week ago and still hadn't called me. I was sure they did not want my services any more because I increased my charge by $5 (I was already charging them less as they are of the family friend variety). Was ready to call them cheap-ass mofos.
J
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Lana Del Rey - "Video Games"
After watching this the first time, I didn't really get the reaction towards it, thinking it was a bit harsh. But watching it the second time, I'm finding it more and more heinous. Besides how obnoxious I find her mannerisms (and face, to be honest...), her voice routinely reaches this bizarrely flat pitch (1:23-1:26) and she emphasises certain words and phrases really strangely (first five seconds...)
Yeah. The song is quite catchy but she can't really sing. This is kind of how I feel about Selena Gomez (except I actually find her incredibly adorable and endearing); she really can't sing even though she tries. She can sing a basic song decently but give her anything remotely trying on her voice and she sounds horrific.
J
Totally True Shenanigans
Just realized how inanely boring my last two blog posts are. Would it help if I told you I totes hooked up with some incredibly attractive guy last night?
It's completely true.
There I was, walking home from a late night gallavant I'd ventured on. Dressed simply in jeans and t-shirt, he glanced at me from across the street. He, shirtless and glistening, was on his evening run.
"Hey," he said, approaching me. I glanced around, worriedly, and ventured a tentative smile.
"Hi."
Shenanigans ensued. I wonder if I'm pregnant?
J
It's completely true.
There I was, walking home from a late night gallavant I'd ventured on. Dressed simply in jeans and t-shirt, he glanced at me from across the street. He, shirtless and glistening, was on his evening run.
"Hey," he said, approaching me. I glanced around, worriedly, and ventured a tentative smile.
"Hi."
Shenanigans ensued. I wonder if I'm pregnant?
J
The Celebrations Continue
Tomorrow is the 15th day of Chinese New Year so we are having another big family dinner. I have decided to make a "light" dessert (as it will be following massive consumption of unhealthy things) and need ideas.
Tonight, we will be having our second steam boat in the space of two weeks...
I also made some shorts out of a pair of grey skinnies that were too loose for me. Now the shorts are too tight... I hope they will loosen with more washes but I doubt it.
It also occurred to me the other day about how much I feed off of other people's social anxiety. People who know me know how horrifyingly horrifying I can act when I feel awkward or placed in a situation where I have to (God forbid) talk to people. I speak really quietly (it becomes so much more awkward when they ask you two times what you just said... And they judge you, I swear to God, they judge you if you act socially awkward) or sometimes I just don't say anything at all. Even if it's just me and another person, if I feel super awkward I will just shut up until the other person says, "Okay, well, it was good to meet you," and then walks away. Then I'll be left there feeling like a chump but hey, that's better than having to suffer through an awkward conversation... right?
However, when I'm in a conversation where I'm the more confident person, my confidence levels increase tenfold. I lead the conversation, I make jokes, I say outrageous things, I talk LOUDLY and I find myself completely hilarious and charming. I don't know if I'm trying to make the other person feel more inadequate or if I'm trying to make them feel more comfortable. This also applies if I'm talking to people younger than myself. Unless they're hot.
I can't tell you how many times this past holidays I've been asked my older family friends and neighbours how I'm liking uni. I always answer with, "It's alright," and try to play it off cool and nonchalant but really I'm thinking, "Wtf am I supposed to say? I love it? Because I don't love it and lying is wrong, right? Am I supposed to say it's enjoyable? But that just makes me sound like a chump. Saying it's alright is literally the most accurate thing I can possibly say while using the least number of syllables."
They always reply with, "Just alright? Not GREAT?" and I just nod and repeat myself and then look away awkwardly and they look away and start talking to someone with more social skills than my piddly self.
I also find it hilarious that Little Mishelle will talk LOUDER if she's in an awkward situation. On some occasions that is. Sometimes, she'll just not talk at all but sometimes she will talk louder like she's trying to fill in the gaps with sheer volume. It's really quite terrific.
J
Tonight, we will be having our second steam boat in the space of two weeks...
I also made some shorts out of a pair of grey skinnies that were too loose for me. Now the shorts are too tight... I hope they will loosen with more washes but I doubt it.
It also occurred to me the other day about how much I feed off of other people's social anxiety. People who know me know how horrifyingly horrifying I can act when I feel awkward or placed in a situation where I have to (God forbid) talk to people. I speak really quietly (it becomes so much more awkward when they ask you two times what you just said... And they judge you, I swear to God, they judge you if you act socially awkward) or sometimes I just don't say anything at all. Even if it's just me and another person, if I feel super awkward I will just shut up until the other person says, "Okay, well, it was good to meet you," and then walks away. Then I'll be left there feeling like a chump but hey, that's better than having to suffer through an awkward conversation... right?
However, when I'm in a conversation where I'm the more confident person, my confidence levels increase tenfold. I lead the conversation, I make jokes, I say outrageous things, I talk LOUDLY and I find myself completely hilarious and charming. I don't know if I'm trying to make the other person feel more inadequate or if I'm trying to make them feel more comfortable. This also applies if I'm talking to people younger than myself. Unless they're hot.
I can't tell you how many times this past holidays I've been asked my older family friends and neighbours how I'm liking uni. I always answer with, "It's alright," and try to play it off cool and nonchalant but really I'm thinking, "Wtf am I supposed to say? I love it? Because I don't love it and lying is wrong, right? Am I supposed to say it's enjoyable? But that just makes me sound like a chump. Saying it's alright is literally the most accurate thing I can possibly say while using the least number of syllables."
They always reply with, "Just alright? Not GREAT?" and I just nod and repeat myself and then look away awkwardly and they look away and start talking to someone with more social skills than my piddly self.
I also find it hilarious that Little Mishelle will talk LOUDER if she's in an awkward situation. On some occasions that is. Sometimes, she'll just not talk at all but sometimes she will talk louder like she's trying to fill in the gaps with sheer volume. It's really quite terrific.
J
One Long Tirade
Ahh. Just finished One Long Tirade. You may remember I posted that ridiculous outline for that super weird story and then I was all, "Fuck that," and instead decided to write about a family of gangsters?
87 000 words later. My second longest story. I'm finished! I'm pretty chuffed.
J
87 000 words later. My second longest story. I'm finished! I'm pretty chuffed.
J
Saturday, February 4, 2012
The Great Escape
This morning, I put tinted moisturiser on and went to wash my hands in my parents' bathroom. I didn't wash them properly enough and got it ALL OVER my mum's white towel. I came out and hid in the living room and prepared myself for the backlash. While she had a shower, I expected her to yell something ferocious at me. Later, I went back in and saw she had washed the stains off.
FUCKING ACE. Obviously she thought she'd spilled something on there or something and I was off the hook. It was glorious.
Also, in case anyone cares, mum's eye should be fine. It was this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pterygium_(conjunctiva)
J
FUCKING ACE. Obviously she thought she'd spilled something on there or something and I was off the hook. It was glorious.
Also, in case anyone cares, mum's eye should be fine. It was this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pterygium_(conjunctiva)
J
Friday, February 3, 2012
Recommendation
http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-7-most-baffling-things-about-womens-clothes/
Mum is going to the emergency department because her eye has been all bloodshot for the last few days and yesterday her vision went super blurry for a minute and today she's found a lump in it. I told her to see a doctor earlier... She has a lot of eye problems including a glaucoma in the eye in question and has been taking medication for years and years and years. She called up the doctor she usually sees in Charlie's and asked if she could push her appointment up. They said the only way is for her to go to ED.
J
Mum is going to the emergency department because her eye has been all bloodshot for the last few days and yesterday her vision went super blurry for a minute and today she's found a lump in it. I told her to see a doctor earlier... She has a lot of eye problems including a glaucoma in the eye in question and has been taking medication for years and years and years. She called up the doctor she usually sees in Charlie's and asked if she could push her appointment up. They said the only way is for her to go to ED.
J
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Totally Rufus
Evidence of my arts & crafts coma:
This started out as a t-shirt with a little ruffle thing on the front. I think Big Michelle was the only one of my friends to ever see it as I only ever wore it once. She called it cute because she liked the ruffle thing but I abhorred it and never wore it again. It hung way too low both in terms of neckline (holy cleave) and length (it's really tight and stretchy so if you pulled it down far enough it looked like a dress).
As it cost me only $5 from the summer of 2010-11, I decided to refurbish it and make it a half-cardigan. Behold:
I unpicked the central ruffle (which took a ridiculously long time as it was made up of many bits and pieces... and was sewn into the collar bit so I had to resew the collar) and cut the front down the middle (accidentally also nicking the back so I did a botchy sew up of the hole in the back, hurr?). I tidied up the 2 new middle flaps and hemmed the bottom so it was more manageable. As a final decorative touch, I sewed a bunch of random buttons on one side of the half-cardigan (with no matching button holes on the other side because I can't be bothered reinforcing them after cutting them). I'm thinking of attaching lace sleeves under the existing sleeves to give them some length so they'll cover my man arms. Thoughts?
End scene.
J
This started out as a t-shirt with a little ruffle thing on the front. I think Big Michelle was the only one of my friends to ever see it as I only ever wore it once. She called it cute because she liked the ruffle thing but I abhorred it and never wore it again. It hung way too low both in terms of neckline (holy cleave) and length (it's really tight and stretchy so if you pulled it down far enough it looked like a dress).
As it cost me only $5 from the summer of 2010-11, I decided to refurbish it and make it a half-cardigan. Behold:
I unpicked the central ruffle (which took a ridiculously long time as it was made up of many bits and pieces... and was sewn into the collar bit so I had to resew the collar) and cut the front down the middle (accidentally also nicking the back so I did a botchy sew up of the hole in the back, hurr?). I tidied up the 2 new middle flaps and hemmed the bottom so it was more manageable. As a final decorative touch, I sewed a bunch of random buttons on one side of the half-cardigan (with no matching button holes on the other side because I can't be bothered reinforcing them after cutting them). I'm thinking of attaching lace sleeves under the existing sleeves to give them some length so they'll cover my man arms. Thoughts?
End scene.
J
The Mechanics of Treat Day
Magnificent treat day treat just had.
Banana cake piping hot out of the microwave (it was frozen, I defrosted it) with a generous scoop of Connoiseur cookies & cream ice-cream. Holy crow, it was delicious. I would have taken a picture but I was ashamed. I now feel satisfyingly ill and this treat will tide me over for the next week. That's what's good about treat day. It's so tasty but you feel so bad afterwards that you won't want a treat for the next few days... and then in the last few days until treat day, it'll be so close that you'll be able to hold out for it.
I've been thinking about said treat for the last few days.
"Hold out, hold out," I kept telling myself. I was having a major craving for something sugary. So that's when I did the frozen banana thing which was tasty (it was also bizarre. It was so sweet and creamy that I expected that belly ache you tend to get after ingesting too much dairy but afterwards I felt fine which was a pleasant surprise. It sort of snuck up on me even though I should have been expecting it) but straight after I was like, "That was nice... but I still want ice-cream." Is that concerning?
I've also gone into a sort of arts & crafts coma. First, the dress --> skirt then the various shirts --> half cardigans and now I've decided I'm going to create attachable straps to my black high heels to make them Mary-Janes. I think my feet have a weird shape because I tend to step out of my heels when I wear them. At first, I thought I was just buying my shoes all one size too big but when I just stood in them they fit perfectly. But then, after reading a comment from someone else about a tendency to walk straight out of her shoes, I realized that was my problem. I remember on graduation night I wore my new black heels and I was so terrified I was going to walk across the stage and step right out of my shoes and everyone would laugh and I would die...
Where's my velcro?
J
Banana cake piping hot out of the microwave (it was frozen, I defrosted it) with a generous scoop of Connoiseur cookies & cream ice-cream. Holy crow, it was delicious. I would have taken a picture but I was ashamed. I now feel satisfyingly ill and this treat will tide me over for the next week. That's what's good about treat day. It's so tasty but you feel so bad afterwards that you won't want a treat for the next few days... and then in the last few days until treat day, it'll be so close that you'll be able to hold out for it.
I've been thinking about said treat for the last few days.
"Hold out, hold out," I kept telling myself. I was having a major craving for something sugary. So that's when I did the frozen banana thing which was tasty (it was also bizarre. It was so sweet and creamy that I expected that belly ache you tend to get after ingesting too much dairy but afterwards I felt fine which was a pleasant surprise. It sort of snuck up on me even though I should have been expecting it) but straight after I was like, "That was nice... but I still want ice-cream." Is that concerning?
I've also gone into a sort of arts & crafts coma. First, the dress --> skirt then the various shirts --> half cardigans and now I've decided I'm going to create attachable straps to my black high heels to make them Mary-Janes. I think my feet have a weird shape because I tend to step out of my heels when I wear them. At first, I thought I was just buying my shoes all one size too big but when I just stood in them they fit perfectly. But then, after reading a comment from someone else about a tendency to walk straight out of her shoes, I realized that was my problem. I remember on graduation night I wore my new black heels and I was so terrified I was going to walk across the stage and step right out of my shoes and everyone would laugh and I would die...
Where's my velcro?
J
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Ode to Asian Bakeries
I have a slight obsession with Asian bakeries. For reasons as follows:
1. Omg, yum.
2. Omg, cheap.
I have frequented places like Esther's and Regent's in Perth. Fantabulousness like pineapple buns and red bean buns and egg tarts and all sorts of deliciousness will only run you at most $3 each (that's pushing it, it's more like $1.50-$2.50). You can buy a plain bun for $0.80 at Regent's last time I went.
It's self-serve with many choices. Compared to Western bakeries, Asian ones just have so much better stuff.
In our last holiday in China, we went to this street bakery type place with a window facing the street where they sold their wares. Let's just say... it was orgasmic.
J
1. Omg, yum.
2. Omg, cheap.
I have frequented places like Esther's and Regent's in Perth. Fantabulousness like pineapple buns and red bean buns and egg tarts and all sorts of deliciousness will only run you at most $3 each (that's pushing it, it's more like $1.50-$2.50). You can buy a plain bun for $0.80 at Regent's last time I went.
It's self-serve with many choices. Compared to Western bakeries, Asian ones just have so much better stuff.
In our last holiday in China, we went to this street bakery type place with a window facing the street where they sold their wares. Let's just say... it was orgasmic.
J
I Did Shit
I re-did this shirt to become one of those half-cardigan things. Does anyone remember this from before?
I bought these here 2 skirts. The one on the right is too big for me. Hopefully, I will grow into it...
Blended up frozen banana + cocoa powder, it was aiight.
I ate this, it was 45 cal.
I re-did a dress to make this.
This is the dress from whence that skirt (which I shall never wear) came; the loin from which the fruit was born so to speak.
It kills me that my momma's body is better than mine...In other news, I've said this before but Juliana Marguiles husband is so foine. http://gofugyourself.com/sag-awards-fine-played-julianna-marguiles-01-2012
He is a lawyer that went to Harvard and Dartmouth, he is super handsome, looks so good in a suit (fo shizzle, THAT is how suits are to be worn) and married an older woman? Dear Juliana, ever consider having an open marriage? Because I am now open for business.
J
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