(Tried to) Did yoga off youtube for approximately half an hour this morning because I have legit not exercised in at least five months. And because I was bored and it was raining so I couldn't go for a walk or any such nonsense.
I was all, "FUCK, this is going to be so easy. I'm like a tigress, I will kick yoga in the arse while I flex my superb biceps, triceps, forceps etc. etc." Well, har har, guess again, because within 15 minutes I was gagging. I think it might have been because I kept straining my neck to see what the instructor was doing on the monitor, but I actually began to feel sick.
Like NAUSEOUS. Headache, gag reflex playing up. It was pretty much horrific.
My neck still hurts. I feel both fearful and ashamed to post this up on my blog but have decided it is worthy blog material. You guys should give it a go! You will probably do a better job than me...
J
About Me
- Junaberry
- I'm a student from Australia who used to have a lot of time on her hands but doesn't have that much anymore. Now she has other stuff on her hands.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Dirty Lines
Because I'm such a massive fucking weirdo I'm going to document the dirtiest lyrics in "What's My Name" for your reading pleasure.
"The square root of 69 is eight, right?"
"Only thing we have on is the radio."
"The things we could do in 20 minutes, girl."
"Boy, you stay up on it."
"Back and forth you rock me." (!!!)
"Every door you enter I will let you in." (I THINK THIS IS THE DIRTIEST LINE IN HISTORY OF MUSICA)
I got lazy so stopped there.
J
"The square root of 69 is eight, right?"
"Only thing we have on is the radio."
"The things we could do in 20 minutes, girl."
"Boy, you stay up on it."
"Back and forth you rock me." (!!!)
"Every door you enter I will let you in." (I THINK THIS IS THE DIRTIEST LINE IN HISTORY OF MUSICA)
I got lazy so stopped there.
J
Rihanna ft. Drake - "What's My Name?"
This song is so dirty, it's off the charts. Maybe it's just me, but listening to the lyrics, my mouth was agape with both mad respect and shock. What a terrific song.
Rihanna, you mad dog. Get it, girl.
Oh, so now they're eating Chinese food. I'm sure the noodles are a nod in the direction of something less kid-friendly but still edible... Herp derp.
/dirty
J
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Maggi Mee
Little Mishelle said I have been blogging too infrequently lately and should blog 10 times a day. Well, back in the days when I did actually blog up to five times a day (ahem, back when I had F to ramble about) it seemed a bit redundant as I had not a lot to say. So I guess I'll just tell you a bit about what I've been up to.
Holidays have been pretty good so far. The night of our last exam (last Thursday), me and the lads went to Josh's house for "games night" to play games. And furthermore, before this, to chow down on some 'za or "pizza" as the uncool people call it. Personally, I like to say 'za as this is how Brad/Dopey from The Mediator series by Meg Cabot said it and anything that takes me back to those sweet and blissful days is a job well done in my opinion.
The funniest thing was when Albert was tallying up the bill and the three pizzas and two cokes came to $84 and Albert was like, "84!" except no one else was reacting this way so he was all, "Oh, ok." It was funny because I think I was the only one that noticed. And I totally got it. $84 for three pizzas? And no offense, but they weren't spectacular or anything. I could have bought... I don't know, more than 12 (I lose count after the 12x table) from Domino's. But this was besides the point. It was actually quite cheap split amongst six people but it brought so many lol's to see that reaction.
So, other than that I've just been bumming around with Big Michelle and Little Mishelle. We went to see the teachers at school on Friday. All those suckers still in high school. I laugh in their faces. But yeah, it was like slipping right back into routine. It kind of sucks that in five years they probably won't even remember me! Oh well, I cherish those years nonetheless. Next time, I'm going to force Little Miselle to bring those coconut clusters so we can sit in our old spot on the hill and eat those coconut clusters.
Today was "ice skating" except this was rather inconsequential as I didn't actually ice skate... given that my parents said, "No ce skating as you will undoubtedly maim yourself and prevent us from going to China." I reacted rather angrily, probably more rudely than I've ever been to my parents. I don't know, I was considering not even ice skating and just sitting on the side before this but outright being told I wasn't allowed to... that just stirred something up in me. I think I have quite a tumultuous personality, I like to stir up shit, I don't like being told what to do and am quite stubborn. It's actually pretty good as I'm certain that if I ever get into an abusive relationship I can knee that guy in the willus and doodleberries and gtfo. Yes/no?
But anyway, I was quite angry and was silently raging at my parents as I sat on the sidelines watching the lads ice skating, joyously crying out... with joy. It looked like so much fun... until they finished and took off their skates to reveal massively heinous blisters, most of them already popped. Kavin's socks at the blistered area were dark with pus. It was lovely, as I'm sure you can imagine.
But yeah, next time I'm going to ice skate like a mad dog. Before I sign out, I love that all the lads today refered to two minute noodles as "maggi mee." It just makes me feel right at home, har har.
Lastly, do not be misled by what sounds like a very adventurous and action packed life. In between these smallish escapades are many, MANY hours of sitting at home, on the internet, reading or eating. Very unexciting activities.
J
Holidays have been pretty good so far. The night of our last exam (last Thursday), me and the lads went to Josh's house for "games night" to play games. And furthermore, before this, to chow down on some 'za or "pizza" as the uncool people call it. Personally, I like to say 'za as this is how Brad/Dopey from The Mediator series by Meg Cabot said it and anything that takes me back to those sweet and blissful days is a job well done in my opinion.
The funniest thing was when Albert was tallying up the bill and the three pizzas and two cokes came to $84 and Albert was like, "84!" except no one else was reacting this way so he was all, "Oh, ok." It was funny because I think I was the only one that noticed. And I totally got it. $84 for three pizzas? And no offense, but they weren't spectacular or anything. I could have bought... I don't know, more than 12 (I lose count after the 12x table) from Domino's. But this was besides the point. It was actually quite cheap split amongst six people but it brought so many lol's to see that reaction.
So, other than that I've just been bumming around with Big Michelle and Little Mishelle. We went to see the teachers at school on Friday. All those suckers still in high school. I laugh in their faces. But yeah, it was like slipping right back into routine. It kind of sucks that in five years they probably won't even remember me! Oh well, I cherish those years nonetheless. Next time, I'm going to force Little Miselle to bring those coconut clusters so we can sit in our old spot on the hill and eat those coconut clusters.
Today was "ice skating" except this was rather inconsequential as I didn't actually ice skate... given that my parents said, "No ce skating as you will undoubtedly maim yourself and prevent us from going to China." I reacted rather angrily, probably more rudely than I've ever been to my parents. I don't know, I was considering not even ice skating and just sitting on the side before this but outright being told I wasn't allowed to... that just stirred something up in me. I think I have quite a tumultuous personality, I like to stir up shit, I don't like being told what to do and am quite stubborn. It's actually pretty good as I'm certain that if I ever get into an abusive relationship I can knee that guy in the willus and doodleberries and gtfo. Yes/no?
But anyway, I was quite angry and was silently raging at my parents as I sat on the sidelines watching the lads ice skating, joyously crying out... with joy. It looked like so much fun... until they finished and took off their skates to reveal massively heinous blisters, most of them already popped. Kavin's socks at the blistered area were dark with pus. It was lovely, as I'm sure you can imagine.
But yeah, next time I'm going to ice skate like a mad dog. Before I sign out, I love that all the lads today refered to two minute noodles as "maggi mee." It just makes me feel right at home, har har.
Lastly, do not be misled by what sounds like a very adventurous and action packed life. In between these smallish escapades are many, MANY hours of sitting at home, on the internet, reading or eating. Very unexciting activities.
J
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Fail Blog (Post)
May or may not have just put cling wrap over my laptop keyboard in anticipation of my keyboard cover that I intend to order when I get back from China. I don't know why but using my laptop keyboard feels dirty... You can replace desktop keyboards but not laptop keyboards.
In other news, I tried to do some writing this morning and it failed miserably. I was in the right state of mind and everything, given it is an overcast and chilly day, I watched Saturday Disney this morning and listened to some vaguely hipster songs on rage...
What is wrong with me? It's probably because I sat down with the soul intention to just "write something" rather than having a specific idea.
J
In other news, I tried to do some writing this morning and it failed miserably. I was in the right state of mind and everything, given it is an overcast and chilly day, I watched Saturday Disney this morning and listened to some vaguely hipster songs on rage...
What is wrong with me? It's probably because I sat down with the soul intention to just "write something" rather than having a specific idea.
J
Friday, June 24, 2011
Some Random Rambling
I finished exams yesterday. This means:
1. More time for blogging.
2. Less time until I leave for China.
3. More time for vlogging.
4. More time for shopping.
5. More time for being bored.
6. Less time to see F.
How do I feel about my first semester of uni?
The first few weeks were insanity and I was this close to throwing in the towel, crawling into a ball and crying my eyes out. But the last few weeks have actually been a lot of fun.
Today, Big Michelle, Little Mishelle and I went back to high school to say hello to some of our old teachers. Stepping into school was sort of like... slipping right back into routine. It felt so natural and normal and comfortable. I feel much happier at uni now then when uni first started but it's always nice to go to old, familiar and comforting environments.
It's Friday night at 7pm and to be honest I have nothing going on. But it feels really good to have no work and nothing else on my mind. Sigh. I love days like this; just hanging out with friends and sleeping and doing very little thinking.
J
1. More time for blogging.
2. Less time until I leave for China.
3. More time for vlogging.
4. More time for shopping.
5. More time for being bored.
6. Less time to see F.
How do I feel about my first semester of uni?
The first few weeks were insanity and I was this close to throwing in the towel, crawling into a ball and crying my eyes out. But the last few weeks have actually been a lot of fun.
Today, Big Michelle, Little Mishelle and I went back to high school to say hello to some of our old teachers. Stepping into school was sort of like... slipping right back into routine. It felt so natural and normal and comfortable. I feel much happier at uni now then when uni first started but it's always nice to go to old, familiar and comforting environments.
It's Friday night at 7pm and to be honest I have nothing going on. But it feels really good to have no work and nothing else on my mind. Sigh. I love days like this; just hanging out with friends and sleeping and doing very little thinking.
J
Monday, June 20, 2011
Food & Boys; We're Riveting
It just occurred to me how much Big Michelle, Little Mishelle and I talk about food. We probably spend up to 40% of our conversations talking about food. Today was the first time we'd hung out as a group in ages, weeks or even months, and a lot of the time was spent talking about food. Little Mishelle recently became a vegetarian. We repeatedly asked her if watching people eat meat was disgusting for the lols. Then we went to get lunch and I talked about how much I hated it that they'd run out of the chicken I liked and I had to get this shitty alternative chicken that was just straight up shitty. Is it normal to talk about food this much?
Then we talked about boys.
This is what we talk about every single time we hang out but it seriously never gets old. I love those two.
But then surprisingly we started talking about religion.
Then we started talking about boys again.
I didn't get much done today but straight up, I don't really give a shit. I'm serious; my whole outlook on life has changed. We all die one day and all the hard work we put in amounts to nothing. Might as well enjoy life while we have it.
Mmmm, when's dinner?
J
Then we talked about boys.
This is what we talk about every single time we hang out but it seriously never gets old. I love those two.
But then surprisingly we started talking about religion.
Then we started talking about boys again.
I didn't get much done today but straight up, I don't really give a shit. I'm serious; my whole outlook on life has changed. We all die one day and all the hard work we put in amounts to nothing. Might as well enjoy life while we have it.
Mmmm, when's dinner?
J
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Who's That Mole?
Wish I was taller and skinnier and prettier. I want to be one of those girls where you're standing next to her in line and you turn around and she's like BAM, she's so tall and makes an impression.
I'm too short to make an impression. I wander in and people say, "Who's the mole?"
Er, not to say people shorter than me are even more molish than I. It's my lack of gorgeousosity, spirit and charisma that makes me so impressionless.
Or unable to make an impression.
I don't know. I haven't gone to an English class in seven months.
J
I'm too short to make an impression. I wander in and people say, "Who's the mole?"
Er, not to say people shorter than me are even more molish than I. It's my lack of gorgeousosity, spirit and charisma that makes me so impressionless.
Or unable to make an impression.
I don't know. I haven't gone to an English class in seven months.
J
Ether and Ester Went Up The Hill
Who the fuck decided to have two functional groups, one named ether and the other ester?
Seriously. Fuck them all.
J
Seriously. Fuck them all.
J
No Fancy Dancy Apples for You
The other day Big Michelle and I was reminiscing on the stupid question this girl asked in the revision FCP lecture. It was, "Do we have to reference in the exam?" I wasn't sitting with Big Michelle at the time but with Mora and was facepalming. Apparently, Big Michelle was thinking the same thing.
I was trying to remember this similar situation occurring which I recalled so vividly but could not put into realization. And just then I remembered. It's all those times on Masterchef in master class and every single time someone will ask, "If we can't get blah blah can we use blah blah?" and it's usually like... if we don't have prosciutto can we use bacon? Or if we don't have Fancy Dancy apples can we use Granny Smiths? Or if we don't have buttermilk can we use normal milk with a teaspoon of vinegar?
FUCK YOU ALL. YOU ARE ON MASTERCHEF. GROW A PAIR.
I'm serious. I have this conspiracy that these people know the answer they're going to receive but ask anyway to suck up and appear interested.
I am vair cynical. And suspiciosus.
J
I was trying to remember this similar situation occurring which I recalled so vividly but could not put into realization. And just then I remembered. It's all those times on Masterchef in master class and every single time someone will ask, "If we can't get blah blah can we use blah blah?" and it's usually like... if we don't have prosciutto can we use bacon? Or if we don't have Fancy Dancy apples can we use Granny Smiths? Or if we don't have buttermilk can we use normal milk with a teaspoon of vinegar?
FUCK YOU ALL. YOU ARE ON MASTERCHEF. GROW A PAIR.
I'm serious. I have this conspiracy that these people know the answer they're going to receive but ask anyway to suck up and appear interested.
I am vair cynical. And suspiciosus.
J
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Awkie Flagpole #2
Wiki told me this:
"If one is not religious and the rest of the table is saying grace, it is considered polite and culturally appropriate to observe silently, or to bow one's head. It is often considered impolite or incorrect to start eating before grace has been said and completed."
Oh ok.
J
"If one is not religious and the rest of the table is saying grace, it is considered polite and culturally appropriate to observe silently, or to bow one's head. It is often considered impolite or incorrect to start eating before grace has been said and completed."
Oh ok.
J
Professors and Shit
I changed my mind. I told Clinton the other day that I'd hate being a professor or teacher and would rather kill myself. I thought how depressing it would be to have to deal with minions who know very little about your expertise but act like they're gods. And how lonely and isolated it would be. How non-challenging it would be to be surrounded by twiglets.
But I changed my mind because while professors still work during uni holidays they have to prepare lectures and notes but they also gets to write papers for journals and for their own projects as representatives of uni. And I guess that's pretty cool especially if you're in a field you really love and I guess it would be challenging and good to be surrounded by likeminded colleagues.
The only downside is that most professors are old and there would be no hotties to spy on.
J
But I changed my mind because while professors still work during uni holidays they have to prepare lectures and notes but they also gets to write papers for journals and for their own projects as representatives of uni. And I guess that's pretty cool especially if you're in a field you really love and I guess it would be challenging and good to be surrounded by likeminded colleagues.
The only downside is that most professors are old and there would be no hotties to spy on.
J
Sex Scenes and Awkward Flagpoles
I love this feeling of not really giving a shit how I went in today's FCP exam, just glad that I passed. The fact that it's only worth 20% of the year (which is 40% of the semester but whatever... the unit goes over two semesters) is also reassuring. I could have added to most of my answers and probably scored a couple of extra points but I was just too lazy to do it.
And then I had to leave 15 minutes early because I'm on my lollypop and I knew that my lollypop wrapper was literally about one minute from waterfalling all over my chair and it would get messy and hilarious and embarrassing. I kept thinking, "What am I going to do? What am I going to do if I need to change my wrapper?" and I hoped that one would last me over the three hours 10 minutes but I went to the bathroom about halfway through to check and I figured it could tide me over until the exam finished. But then I got back to my seat and I think the walking exacerbated it because it was like WOOSH. And I was like, "Ah fuck it."
Cool story. I know.
Oh man, this feeling of rebellion is just filling me with glee right now. It's like, "DAYUM GIRL, SLOW DOWN," but I'm just so over working and doing homework and studying. But yeah, that's only a half truth because after some Nigella I'm going to start stuyding for kemistry on Tuesday...
But seriously. Fuck it all.
Also, on a scale of one to ten, how awkward is it when you go to lunch with friends and then one of them gets their food, bows their head and starts saying Grace?
He wasn't saying it out loud but he was obviously saying Grace and everyone was eating and I was thinking, "Fuck, am I supposed to start eating? It feels disrespectful like I should wait for him to finish! But what if he thinks I'm staring at him thinking he's a freak because I'm not eating? This is shit! This is shit! Wait, why should I even think that? Fuck it, I don't say Grace, he can say Grace! Good for him! Does Grace even need capitalization? I don't think so but whatever. But fuck this!" And then I drove my Awkward Flagpole down into the dirt and cried inside then ate my ham & cheese croissant. Yummy.
Oh yeah, I witnessed the most hilarious sex scene in Underworld: Rise of the Lycans the other day. I was pissing myself. It was so awkward at first because I kept thinking, "Fuck, I bet my dad's going walk out and be all "DISHONA THE FAMIRY." It will be lols and hilar but humiliation 100%," And then I wasn't even caring anymore because I was witnessing hilarity at its finest. I will endeavour to describe it to you but I will fail.
They're having the sex on the ledge. And then... I don't know how to describe it without being crass. But she's sitting up and he's lying down except his body is half over the ledge. It's probably some kinky lycan/werewolf thing. And she's looking up, all proud of herself and he's looking up at her, thinking to himself, "THAT'S MY GIRL."
It was truly truly ridiculous, hilarious, best sex scene in the world. Watch it.
J
And then I had to leave 15 minutes early because I'm on my lollypop and I knew that my lollypop wrapper was literally about one minute from waterfalling all over my chair and it would get messy and hilarious and embarrassing. I kept thinking, "What am I going to do? What am I going to do if I need to change my wrapper?" and I hoped that one would last me over the three hours 10 minutes but I went to the bathroom about halfway through to check and I figured it could tide me over until the exam finished. But then I got back to my seat and I think the walking exacerbated it because it was like WOOSH. And I was like, "Ah fuck it."
Cool story. I know.
Oh man, this feeling of rebellion is just filling me with glee right now. It's like, "DAYUM GIRL, SLOW DOWN," but I'm just so over working and doing homework and studying. But yeah, that's only a half truth because after some Nigella I'm going to start stuyding for kemistry on Tuesday...
But seriously. Fuck it all.
Also, on a scale of one to ten, how awkward is it when you go to lunch with friends and then one of them gets their food, bows their head and starts saying Grace?
He wasn't saying it out loud but he was obviously saying Grace and everyone was eating and I was thinking, "Fuck, am I supposed to start eating? It feels disrespectful like I should wait for him to finish! But what if he thinks I'm staring at him thinking he's a freak because I'm not eating? This is shit! This is shit! Wait, why should I even think that? Fuck it, I don't say Grace, he can say Grace! Good for him! Does Grace even need capitalization? I don't think so but whatever. But fuck this!" And then I drove my Awkward Flagpole down into the dirt and cried inside then ate my ham & cheese croissant. Yummy.
Oh yeah, I witnessed the most hilarious sex scene in Underworld: Rise of the Lycans the other day. I was pissing myself. It was so awkward at first because I kept thinking, "Fuck, I bet my dad's going walk out and be all "DISHONA THE FAMIRY." It will be lols and hilar but humiliation 100%," And then I wasn't even caring anymore because I was witnessing hilarity at its finest. I will endeavour to describe it to you but I will fail.
They're having the sex on the ledge. And then... I don't know how to describe it without being crass. But she's sitting up and he's lying down except his body is half over the ledge. It's probably some kinky lycan/werewolf thing. And she's looking up, all proud of herself and he's looking up at her, thinking to himself, "THAT'S MY GIRL."
It was truly truly ridiculous, hilarious, best sex scene in the world. Watch it.
J
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Oh, Whities
What's up with White cooks steaming vegetables then pouring "Oriental" dressing over the top? I've never eaten Asian vegetables like that. And it sounds kind of gross.
Or White people putting brown rice and corn in a bowl and calling it a "salad"? Doesn't a salad consist of vegetables? BOTH of those things are grains!
Made a promise to myself to study harder next semester!
J
Or White people putting brown rice and corn in a bowl and calling it a "salad"? Doesn't a salad consist of vegetables? BOTH of those things are grains!
Made a promise to myself to study harder next semester!
J
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Et. Al.
Observation:
Whilst preparing for "taking histories" interview assessment, I must've heard the phrase, "at all?" at least a billion times.
As in, "Have you been taking any pain relief at all?" or, "Have you been feeling any pain in the surrounding region at all?"
It's funny. I was doing it as well. I think it made me sound more wholesome.
J
Whilst preparing for "taking histories" interview assessment, I must've heard the phrase, "at all?" at least a billion times.
As in, "Have you been taking any pain relief at all?" or, "Have you been feeling any pain in the surrounding region at all?"
It's funny. I was doing it as well. I think it made me sound more wholesome.
J
Kem Douchosity
My kem lecturer is a fucking knob. There I am struggling over some kem problems like a douche and I go to check the answers on WebCT and for the first question he's written, "This one doesn't really need any explanation," and he doesn't even give the answer.
Fucking douche.
J
Fucking douche.
J
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
You're a Douche
Okay, so that blog was shit and I want to procrastinate from studying more.
On the bus home today, Big Michelle and I were talking and she apparently wanted to talk about boys but I was having none of it because I just wanted to go to sleep. So, to get my attention she starts talking about seeing F at the MGC exam yesterday and blah blah blah. I said I didn't see him there... but oh wait! I did!
I saw him wearing this heinous beige wooly jumper like some fucking hipster out of American Apparel or Tumblr. I was going to puke all over him which is why I denied seeing him.
J
On the bus home today, Big Michelle and I were talking and she apparently wanted to talk about boys but I was having none of it because I just wanted to go to sleep. So, to get my attention she starts talking about seeing F at the MGC exam yesterday and blah blah blah. I said I didn't see him there... but oh wait! I did!
I saw him wearing this heinous beige wooly jumper like some fucking hipster out of American Apparel or Tumblr. I was going to puke all over him which is why I denied seeing him.
J
Helen Said She Wanted a Blog...
This morning I had study group in uni with some friends before our bio exam. I legit studied for the first 1.5 hours but then I got bored so I started reading this old story I had saved on my USB that I wrote back in 2009. I don't know if you know this about me but a central theme found in every single thing I write is most usually sexual assault. I don't know. I probably have some deep seeded psychological issues but let's leave that for another blog post.
So, there I am, reading away when Chris comes along to join our study group.
Let me set the scene for you.
INT. SCIBY. DAYTIME:
I read the story on my laptop. D studies next to me. Big C arrives.
Chris: HI GUYS!
Me: OH HAI CHRIS!
Chris: *bored*bored*
Chris thinks to self, "I wonder what J is studying..." Chris goes over to look at J's laptop. J snaps it shut and cries inside.
Oh fuck, I was so ashamed. Is it worse that I snapped my laptop shut before he could see or if he had actually read what I read reading? Hopefully he thought I was just reading a really private email or something. Or maybe looking at porn.
J
So, there I am, reading away when Chris comes along to join our study group.
Let me set the scene for you.
INT. SCIBY. DAYTIME:
I read the story on my laptop. D studies next to me. Big C arrives.
Chris: HI GUYS!
Me: OH HAI CHRIS!
Chris: *bored*bored*
Chris thinks to self, "I wonder what J is studying..." Chris goes over to look at J's laptop. J snaps it shut and cries inside.
Oh fuck, I was so ashamed. Is it worse that I snapped my laptop shut before he could see or if he had actually read what I read reading? Hopefully he thought I was just reading a really private email or something. Or maybe looking at porn.
J
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Being a Douche
I feel all depressed right now from studying for a week. It feels like I've put in this whole effort but I look back and think of the many hours wasted on facebook and being distracted and I feel so guilty and useless. But at the same time I'm so burnt out from studying, I just need a rest.
I feel so dirty and cynical right now. I decided my dream job/life would just be writing on this blog. How sad is that? No offense guys. Just living my life and writing on this blog about my life and having fun. I'm tired of work.
I read this blog article about biggest regrets of people dying and the first one was like... working too hard.
I'm 18 and I already hate work and dread having to go to work everyday and come home all exhausted and do shit for people who I don't even like and suck my boss' cock all day and be a fat douche.
Oh yeah, the other night I dreamt Zac Efron asked me out but, like I told Caitlyn, it was a natural progression and not all out of the blue. It was so weird but... I was in some sort of... alternate dimension except I wasn't. Like, I was living in this dimension but I could go into this alternate dimension where Zac lives and I would hang out with her.
I don't know, it's hard to explain but it was awesome and Zefron was my friend and then he asked me out and I said, "Yes," and then he pulled me into his broad and sumptuous chest and hugged me and I smelled his delicious man scent.
You're in an alternate dimension. Now look at Zac Efron. Now look at your life. Now back at Zac Efron. Who are you? A loser.
J
I feel so dirty and cynical right now. I decided my dream job/life would just be writing on this blog. How sad is that? No offense guys. Just living my life and writing on this blog about my life and having fun. I'm tired of work.
I read this blog article about biggest regrets of people dying and the first one was like... working too hard.
I'm 18 and I already hate work and dread having to go to work everyday and come home all exhausted and do shit for people who I don't even like and suck my boss' cock all day and be a fat douche.
Oh yeah, the other night I dreamt Zac Efron asked me out but, like I told Caitlyn, it was a natural progression and not all out of the blue. It was so weird but... I was in some sort of... alternate dimension except I wasn't. Like, I was living in this dimension but I could go into this alternate dimension where Zac lives and I would hang out with her.
I don't know, it's hard to explain but it was awesome and Zefron was my friend and then he asked me out and I said, "Yes," and then he pulled me into his broad and sumptuous chest and hugged me and I smelled his delicious man scent.
You're in an alternate dimension. Now look at Zac Efron. Now look at your life. Now back at Zac Efron. Who are you? A loser.
J
Split Ends
I hate split ends and find them disgusting. Like, they look heinous and gross to me. But for some reason I really enjoy looking at google images of them and getting a sick kick out of it. It sickens me that there is that business going down in my hair right now.
J
J
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Big Mess
Also, the number of times Big Michelle has yelled his name in front of him or someone F and I mutually know, is ridiculous. I'm going to smack her the next time I see her.
J
J
Procrastination
I did a fuckload of embarrassing things when I first met F like forcing him to answer all my intolerable questions regarding kemistry and various other disgusting academic disciplines.
I don't think I've said this before but he's a really smart dude. He knows everything and he helps me with all my work. Thank you Hesus I got partnered up with him in MGC labs otherwise I don't think I would have ever been able to get the lab demonstrator to sign my sheet so I could leave.
One thing I notice he always does is whenever we part ways he'll always say, "See you on Monday," or, like last time, "See you at the MGC exam," or, "See you on Friday," or, "Good luck with your community placement." It makes me melt. I'm a fool but little things like these, like him remembering the next time we'll see each other, makes me seriously go all jelloid in my sexy lady legs.
And I decided if we never have another class together, now that FCP has finished and we may not be in the same tutes next semester even though I'm praying we will, it was a really nice semester made a hundred times better squealing over him.
I wonder if he would be flattered by the various stalkerish blogs I've made about him? Or would he be disgusted and fear for his life?
I need to study...
J
I don't think I've said this before but he's a really smart dude. He knows everything and he helps me with all my work. Thank you Hesus I got partnered up with him in MGC labs otherwise I don't think I would have ever been able to get the lab demonstrator to sign my sheet so I could leave.
One thing I notice he always does is whenever we part ways he'll always say, "See you on Monday," or, like last time, "See you at the MGC exam," or, "See you on Friday," or, "Good luck with your community placement." It makes me melt. I'm a fool but little things like these, like him remembering the next time we'll see each other, makes me seriously go all jelloid in my sexy lady legs.
And I decided if we never have another class together, now that FCP has finished and we may not be in the same tutes next semester even though I'm praying we will, it was a really nice semester made a hundred times better squealing over him.
I wonder if he would be flattered by the various stalkerish blogs I've made about him? Or would he be disgusted and fear for his life?
I need to study...
J
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Marry Me!
Zachary. Oh oh Zachary. Marry me, please! You're only six years older than me! I'm still fertile! I have eggs named Sally Efron and Julian Efron just for you!
Too far?
Yeah, I thought so. But seriously. He's a fox. Even watching him hit on Leslie Mann, who's like 40, in 17 Again is so erotic and sexually stimulating. No joke.
I just really wanted to use the words "erotic" and "sexually stimulating" in this blog.
I wish I was Leslie Mann.
Oh God, still so cut about him and Vanessa.
J
Too far?
Yeah, I thought so. But seriously. He's a fox. Even watching him hit on Leslie Mann, who's like 40, in 17 Again is so erotic and sexually stimulating. No joke.
I just really wanted to use the words "erotic" and "sexually stimulating" in this blog.
I wish I was Leslie Mann.
Oh God, still so cut about him and Vanessa.
J
Monday, June 6, 2011
This is a Shameful Post
Just quietly, it still kills me that Zac and Vanessa broke up... Oh jeez, here I am listening to "You Are the Music in Me" and "Everyday" and "It's the Start of Something New" feeling all sad and wistful. I think it's all sorts of sad. I mean, they were together for so long! And he was so pretty and so was she. And they went through the whole HSM experience together and grew up into adults together. It's just beautiful. And it kills me that they're not together anymore and they DON'T LOVE EACH OTHER ANYMORE.
WHY? WHY? You were so perfect for each other and would have made beautiful babies. I hope they are still friendly friends and mayhaps still love each other underneath all of that. And yes, it was said that they broke up because of hectic work schedules and travelling (don't judge me because I know these things) which is perhaps even more saddening.
JUST LEAVE ZANESSA ALONE!
Ah, my heart is bleeding. Zac has a beautiful singing voice.
J
WHY? WHY? You were so perfect for each other and would have made beautiful babies. I hope they are still friendly friends and mayhaps still love each other underneath all of that. And yes, it was said that they broke up because of hectic work schedules and travelling (don't judge me because I know these things) which is perhaps even more saddening.
JUST LEAVE ZANESSA ALONE!
Ah, my heart is bleeding. Zac has a beautiful singing voice.
J
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Layers of the Epidermis and Shit That Makes Me Sad
Stratum basale - keratinocytes and stem cells which make more keratinocytes.
Stratum spinosum - keratinocytes make keratin and flatten out.
Stratum granulosum - contain keratohyalin granules which are used to stick keratin to epidermis... later.
Stratum corneum - 30+ layers of keratin (dead keratinocytes).
Things that make me sad:
1. Sitting at my desk for 6+ hours studying when the whole world is out there, waiting for me to explore it.
2. Losing touch with friends.
3. Poor self esteem.
4. Spending over six hours reading a blog and getting to the end (really, the beginning).
5. Watching people I care about being sad and not being able to do anything about it.
6. Sad love stories.
7. Getting sunburnt.
8. Most Paramore songs.
9. Good memories of times long ago.
10. Menstruation.
J
Stratum spinosum - keratinocytes make keratin and flatten out.
Stratum granulosum - contain keratohyalin granules which are used to stick keratin to epidermis... later.
Stratum corneum - 30+ layers of keratin (dead keratinocytes).
Things that make me sad:
1. Sitting at my desk for 6+ hours studying when the whole world is out there, waiting for me to explore it.
2. Losing touch with friends.
3. Poor self esteem.
4. Spending over six hours reading a blog and getting to the end (really, the beginning).
5. Watching people I care about being sad and not being able to do anything about it.
6. Sad love stories.
7. Getting sunburnt.
8. Most Paramore songs.
9. Good memories of times long ago.
10. Menstruation.
J
Friday, June 3, 2011
Bit Nippy
It's been pretty chilly lately 'round yonder and today, as I ran past my mother screaming, "IT'S FUCKING FREEZING!" except without the profanity, I realized that I have a sort of process or recurring occurence that happens to me.
It starts off like this...
1. I get on the bus. Jeez, I hope that creepy, smelly guy doesn't sit next to me. But if I put my bag on the other seat it'll probably prompt him to ask me to move it just so he can sit next to me because he thinks I'm rude. Avoid eye contact. Avoid eye contact. Look really pissed. Look really pissed. Phew, he went to sit next to that four year old. Crisis averted.
2. I sit on the bus. This is nice. I feel the earth move under my feet. I feel the sky tumbling down, tumbling down. The sun is streaming onto my face. Life is good.
3. I get to my stop and ring the bell. I'm very paranoid so I basically go into my extremely alert mood about five minutes from the stop, sit up, put my backpack on, adjust my jacket, ears pricked up, staring outside the window for the exact moment when I should ring the bell.
4. I get off the bus. The sun is high. My soul is flying.
5. I walk home. Fuck, now I feel hot. Why am I wearing this jacket? But I'm too lazy to take it off because then I'd have to take off my backpack and put it on the floor and God knows what filth is there. No, must endure.
6. Get home. How will I multitask swinging my backpack off and pulling out my keys while the sleeves of my jacket sever my arms? This is difficult. This is exhausting. I've broken a sweat. At this point, I also desperately need to urinate.
7. I manage to get inside. I don't know how. It's like a blur. I set my bag down. The sweat pours off my face. I dash to the toilet and relieve myself. Ah, feels good.
8. I leave the bathroom. "Sweet Hesus, it's hot in here," I think to myself and run around opening all the windows.
9. I take off all my clothes. All of them. I change my restrictive jeans or tights for some loose home shorts. I relish in the feeling of wind on my bare (feral) legs. I decide I should dehair soonish but really cannot be assed. "Ah," I say at last as I sit down in front of my computer. "That's lovely."
10. I pretend to study.
11. I continually dash to the pantry to eat food at regular five minute intervals.
12. It's just past 4.30pm and the strenuous exercise an hour or so earlier is starting to wear off. I'm not feeling so hot anymore. Now I'm starting to feel cold.
13. It's cold.
14. I feel cold.
15. I race myself as I run around the house closing all the windows. I break the twisty thing on my brother's window in my haste to close them all. I grab a jumper.
16. It's still cold.
17. My parents/brother get home. "SWEET JESUS," I say to them, "IT'S FUCKING FREEZING."
The end.
J
It starts off like this...
1. I get on the bus. Jeez, I hope that creepy, smelly guy doesn't sit next to me. But if I put my bag on the other seat it'll probably prompt him to ask me to move it just so he can sit next to me because he thinks I'm rude. Avoid eye contact. Avoid eye contact. Look really pissed. Look really pissed. Phew, he went to sit next to that four year old. Crisis averted.
2. I sit on the bus. This is nice. I feel the earth move under my feet. I feel the sky tumbling down, tumbling down. The sun is streaming onto my face. Life is good.
3. I get to my stop and ring the bell. I'm very paranoid so I basically go into my extremely alert mood about five minutes from the stop, sit up, put my backpack on, adjust my jacket, ears pricked up, staring outside the window for the exact moment when I should ring the bell.
4. I get off the bus. The sun is high. My soul is flying.
5. I walk home. Fuck, now I feel hot. Why am I wearing this jacket? But I'm too lazy to take it off because then I'd have to take off my backpack and put it on the floor and God knows what filth is there. No, must endure.
6. Get home. How will I multitask swinging my backpack off and pulling out my keys while the sleeves of my jacket sever my arms? This is difficult. This is exhausting. I've broken a sweat. At this point, I also desperately need to urinate.
7. I manage to get inside. I don't know how. It's like a blur. I set my bag down. The sweat pours off my face. I dash to the toilet and relieve myself. Ah, feels good.
8. I leave the bathroom. "Sweet Hesus, it's hot in here," I think to myself and run around opening all the windows.
9. I take off all my clothes. All of them. I change my restrictive jeans or tights for some loose home shorts. I relish in the feeling of wind on my bare (feral) legs. I decide I should dehair soonish but really cannot be assed. "Ah," I say at last as I sit down in front of my computer. "That's lovely."
10. I pretend to study.
11. I continually dash to the pantry to eat food at regular five minute intervals.
12. It's just past 4.30pm and the strenuous exercise an hour or so earlier is starting to wear off. I'm not feeling so hot anymore. Now I'm starting to feel cold.
13. It's cold.
14. I feel cold.
15. I race myself as I run around the house closing all the windows. I break the twisty thing on my brother's window in my haste to close them all. I grab a jumper.
16. It's still cold.
17. My parents/brother get home. "SWEET JESUS," I say to them, "IT'S FUCKING FREEZING."
The end.
J
I'll Bash You
I love it when people say, "Bash out some study." It always motivates me to study. And when people talk about study tips. And when I see people studying. And when people tell me off for being distracted.
I'm not very good at studying these days... I get distracted a lot.
Thoughts.
J
I'm not very good at studying these days... I get distracted a lot.
Thoughts.
J
Bitter, Utter, Udder
You know that thing they have in some movies where the guy and the girl are walking past an oval or a soccer pitch or something and someone accidentally throws a ball their way and the guy picks it up and throws it back at them and the girl's all, "Aw, he's so considerate," or conversely, "Yummy."
Yeah, that shit went down today. Except I was the girl and F was the guy and I was like, "Fuck yeah."
I love it when he blushes and he plays with his hair when he's doing group discussion. And when he walks up to me and we walk to the bus stop together.
I love it because I used to be the one doing that thinking, "Oh jeez, I don't want to appear to desperate." Now I don't even wait for him but he comes to walk with me.
Ah jeez.
And when I say to him, "Frick, I hate wearing skirts," and he says to me, "Why are you wearing one then?" and I say, "Just thought I'd mix it up. Obviously it didn't work for me," when really I want to say, "Because I was trying to impress you." Har har, Caitlyn. Brings back memories.
Or when he asks me, "Are you going to that exam thing?" and I say, "What exam thing?" and he says, "It's optional," and I say, "Lol, fuck that," when really I'm thinking, "I wonder if I said I was going he'd go with me?"
It hurts to be me.
J
Yeah, that shit went down today. Except I was the girl and F was the guy and I was like, "Fuck yeah."
I love it when he blushes and he plays with his hair when he's doing group discussion. And when he walks up to me and we walk to the bus stop together.
I love it because I used to be the one doing that thinking, "Oh jeez, I don't want to appear to desperate." Now I don't even wait for him but he comes to walk with me.
Ah jeez.
And when I say to him, "Frick, I hate wearing skirts," and he says to me, "Why are you wearing one then?" and I say, "Just thought I'd mix it up. Obviously it didn't work for me," when really I want to say, "Because I was trying to impress you." Har har, Caitlyn. Brings back memories.
Or when he asks me, "Are you going to that exam thing?" and I say, "What exam thing?" and he says, "It's optional," and I say, "Lol, fuck that," when really I'm thinking, "I wonder if I said I was going he'd go with me?"
It hurts to be me.
J
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Study Tips
Study/exam tips:
1. DON'T study. The best idea is to go into your exam completely unprepared and let the creative juices flow. Especially in math. If you go in too practiced you will fuck it up.
2. DON'T bring spare writing utensils. Why do you have no faith in your trusty pen? If you've been using the same biro for the last three years, that probably means it's reliable and will last forever.
3. DO sit next to someone you really like so for a nice distraction you can gaze at them mid-exam. Make sure you make it look like you're checking their answers to disguise your stalking techniques.
4. DO drink a lot of liquids prior to the exam to ensure optimum eye moistness, hand claminess, mouth tingling and lip smacking. Preferably of the alcoholic kind.
5. DON'T piss before your exam so you go in with a full bladder. This will increase your motivation to finish the exam early and increase efficiency.
6. DO watch a lot of Gilmore Girls the night before especially if it's an episode in which Rory has finals. It's like studying; let her study-goodness rub off on you.
Okay guys! More later. I hope you all do well in exams!
J
1. DON'T study. The best idea is to go into your exam completely unprepared and let the creative juices flow. Especially in math. If you go in too practiced you will fuck it up.
2. DON'T bring spare writing utensils. Why do you have no faith in your trusty pen? If you've been using the same biro for the last three years, that probably means it's reliable and will last forever.
3. DO sit next to someone you really like so for a nice distraction you can gaze at them mid-exam. Make sure you make it look like you're checking their answers to disguise your stalking techniques.
4. DO drink a lot of liquids prior to the exam to ensure optimum eye moistness, hand claminess, mouth tingling and lip smacking. Preferably of the alcoholic kind.
5. DON'T piss before your exam so you go in with a full bladder. This will increase your motivation to finish the exam early and increase efficiency.
6. DO watch a lot of Gilmore Girls the night before especially if it's an episode in which Rory has finals. It's like studying; let her study-goodness rub off on you.
Okay guys! More later. I hope you all do well in exams!
J
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
A Special Post for Caitlyn
Things I know about Caitlyn:
1. She loves Clinkers.
2. She loves dresses.
3. She loves playing this game on her iPhone when she has to draw lines to numbers but can't cross lines.
4. She has very neat writing.
5. We used to do extreme hi-5's all the time in year 10. She loved doing this windmill one.
6. Her car is pink.
7. In year seven, she dyed the tips of her hair purple.
8. She doesn't hold grudges (mostly... har har).
9. She doesn't like being touched on the neck.
10. She doesn't mind getting crumbs on her iPhone (whereas I would be throwing a spaz).
11. She has a great shoulder to nap on.
12. I love her to bits.
Kisses.
J
1. She loves Clinkers.
2. She loves dresses.
3. She loves playing this game on her iPhone when she has to draw lines to numbers but can't cross lines.
4. She has very neat writing.
5. We used to do extreme hi-5's all the time in year 10. She loved doing this windmill one.
6. Her car is pink.
7. In year seven, she dyed the tips of her hair purple.
8. She doesn't hold grudges (mostly... har har).
9. She doesn't like being touched on the neck.
10. She doesn't mind getting crumbs on her iPhone (whereas I would be throwing a spaz).
11. She has a great shoulder to nap on.
12. I love her to bits.
Kisses.
J
Skanks
Just started tackling psyc study. Such a fucking load of bullshit. I don't want to do it... Oh Jesus, just came across a whole chapter I haven't read yet. It's going to be a long(ish) night. Despite the amount I complain about uni, I still manage to sleep before 11pm every night (I know, I'm a loose cannon) and get in an hour of television before that. If I used emoticons on this blog, this is when I would put in a colon P to demonstrate how minx-y I feel right now.
I'll try and post a vlog some time in the next... few weeks. Maybe tomorrow if I get some time to myself. And some privacy.
On that note, I think communitychannel fell in a well or something. She hadn't updated in over a month. What a skank.
And on that note, I think Little Mishelle also fell into a well. Even greater skank.
Hope you're all doing well. Har har, I was about to sign off with "kisses" as I have been as of late when talking to Big Michelle.
Kisses.
J
I'll try and post a vlog some time in the next... few weeks. Maybe tomorrow if I get some time to myself. And some privacy.
On that note, I think communitychannel fell in a well or something. She hadn't updated in over a month. What a skank.
And on that note, I think Little Mishelle also fell into a well. Even greater skank.
Hope you're all doing well. Har har, I was about to sign off with "kisses" as I have been as of late when talking to Big Michelle.
Kisses.
J
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