Ugh, I just can't with this shit anymore.
R and I shared three hours together at Officeworks (shift overlapping) but I only saw him two or three times because it was busy as hale in there. He said hello at some point. I said, "Waddup?" He took a moment to actually think then said, "Hm, nothing." It was the most stupid, insignificant shit ever but it made me smile so much. I'm sure the customers I was serving at the time thought I was plum crazy.
I just looked at him for a while across the computer monitors and boxes of dividers. We don't have anymore shared shifts this week. And then next week I'm on even less. And then the week after that, I might not even see him again.
Do people tell other people they like them these days? I thought that, at a certain age, both parties were just meant to know then either pursue it mutually or get the fuck out.
Is there a sign to show someone you like them? I can't flirt because I can't remember how. And I hate flirting; it is archaic. We should just use our natural musk to show whether we are in heat or not.
My natural musk is telling me things right now.
J
About Me
- Junaberry
- I'm a student from Australia who used to have a lot of time on her hands but doesn't have that much anymore. Now she has other stuff on her hands.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Plain Jane - Episode 4
I don't even care that they only ever choose already attractive girls to "makeover." I think the host is hilarious, gorgeous and nice to the guests. "All fart, no poo" may be the best phrase ever spoken.
J
J
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Plain Jane - Episode 1
Oh, my fucking God. This is amazing:
I feel like my heart is bursting. My heart is literally bursting.
J
I feel like my heart is bursting. My heart is literally bursting.
J
No Regrets, Just Love
I spent $56 at Kmart yesterday and am not sure how to feel about it.
On one hand, I bought two $2 shirts (yes, the ones you have, Big Michelle. Sorry). On the other hand, I spent $15 on one shirt made of that really flimsy, thin material. But then, on the third hand, it's freaking Kmart!
I was reading a Lauren Conrad interview just then (yolo) and she was saying the last movie that made her cry was the Katy Perry movie. I agree completely with her; I broke watching that movie. I love Katy just a touch (Teenage Dream really endeared her to me. That song is flawless). In the movie, there's an interview where they ask her a question about Russell Brand (post-divorce) and she begins to answer normally and then her voice just cracks and she starts crying.
I can't take it.
THERE SHOULD BE NO SADNESS IN THE WORLD.
J
On one hand, I bought two $2 shirts (yes, the ones you have, Big Michelle. Sorry). On the other hand, I spent $15 on one shirt made of that really flimsy, thin material. But then, on the third hand, it's freaking Kmart!
I was reading a Lauren Conrad interview just then (yolo) and she was saying the last movie that made her cry was the Katy Perry movie. I agree completely with her; I broke watching that movie. I love Katy just a touch (Teenage Dream really endeared her to me. That song is flawless). In the movie, there's an interview where they ask her a question about Russell Brand (post-divorce) and she begins to answer normally and then her voice just cracks and she starts crying.
I can't take it.
THERE SHOULD BE NO SADNESS IN THE WORLD.
J
Jog One
I woke up at 6am this morning to go for my jog. It was amazing.
I took it really slow and managed to avoid all that dry-heavey goodness and instead enjoyed an invigorating morning cruise. 90 seconds goes a lot faster than I expected and I never really pushed myself fully. I wanted to at times (I know; what the fuck?) but I knew that if I did, I'd end up feeling sick and then hate jogging forever. This would not be conducive to jogging success.
J
I took it really slow and managed to avoid all that dry-heavey goodness and instead enjoyed an invigorating morning cruise. 90 seconds goes a lot faster than I expected and I never really pushed myself fully. I wanted to at times (I know; what the fuck?) but I knew that if I did, I'd end up feeling sick and then hate jogging forever. This would not be conducive to jogging success.
J
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
A Regime to Remember
I begin jogging again tomorrow. Because I have invested $19 in sports bras, I'm hoping I will seriously commit to this new regime and keep it up for at least a year. I plan on starting at a 30/30 split between running and walking and slowly changing the ratio until I reach 1/0.
The thing is, I have no stopwatch so I'm planning on just counting in my head for the whole run. What the cheapness is this?
Lastly, I had a customer chuck a shit on my face tonight because his receipt from three months ago had faded. Then he accused me of purposely doing it to fuck him over. Oh, and it was for a $14 stamp that he wanted to claim for tax purposes. Even my manager laughed at him (behind his back).
It took me five minutes to sort it out and, by that time, I had a line the length of the Nile to get through check out. I could smack a bitch.
Lastly (and for cereal this time), I got my roster for next week (after my contract ends). They've put me on for 2.5 days. Yes! I'm definitely not ready to say goodbye to that beautiful blue building yet despite all the little shits that fuck with me because their $14 receipt faded. What checkout chick would legitimately give a fuck? The only thing I like about having crappy customers is the customer waiting in the line after them always exchanges knowing looks with me and is super nice.
J
The thing is, I have no stopwatch so I'm planning on just counting in my head for the whole run. What the cheapness is this?
Lastly, I had a customer chuck a shit on my face tonight because his receipt from three months ago had faded. Then he accused me of purposely doing it to fuck him over. Oh, and it was for a $14 stamp that he wanted to claim for tax purposes. Even my manager laughed at him (behind his back).
It took me five minutes to sort it out and, by that time, I had a line the length of the Nile to get through check out. I could smack a bitch.
Lastly (and for cereal this time), I got my roster for next week (after my contract ends). They've put me on for 2.5 days. Yes! I'm definitely not ready to say goodbye to that beautiful blue building yet despite all the little shits that fuck with me because their $14 receipt faded. What checkout chick would legitimately give a fuck? The only thing I like about having crappy customers is the customer waiting in the line after them always exchanges knowing looks with me and is super nice.
J
Sockette Emergency
Imagine this.
A girl, 19 years or so, in Kmart. She is on a mission to buy her first ever sports bra. She aims low, going for the two pack for $19. It takes her 10 minutes to find the right size (depressingly, it amounts to a 14B. She has a massive ribcage).
The first lady manning the change rooms is a lovely older woman. When the girl goes back the second time, the woman has changed to a mega bitch who is straight up rude to the girl. The girl wonders why such people exist. She was only trying to find the right sports bra size; does the woman want her tits to be as saggy as hers when she's that age?
The girl eventually finds a depressing 14B. At this point, she has also chosen two stud tops (honestly, with studs) to buy as well. She remembers on the way to purchase items, "I'm meant to be buying sockettes." Her sockettes are disgusting at this point with too many holes.
The thing is... she really needs to pee. Like, desperately. There are moments when she honestly thinks she is going to piss herself. But she also really wants to get the sockettes because if she doesn't do it now it will probably never happen.
She runs to the sock aisle. She sees the first sockettes she can find. She grabs them. She forces herself to only take one minute to choose the right sockettes (normally, she would take at least five but there's a urinary emergency at hand). She goes to pay and forces herself to use the self check-out (she prefers the normal one as the onus is not on her to make sure she doesn't accidentally fuck something up).
She makes her purchase. It takes a few minutes but luckily, it seems as if the pee has crawled back into her bladder and, for the time being, the world is at peace.
She runs out of the shop and pees.
The day is saved.
In other news, aforementioned girl's smartrider doesn't work anymore. As in, it doesn't scan at all. She called up the helpline and they said she has to find a help centre to get a new card (hopefully, for free). She was forced to spend $4 on the bus ride home.
Girl is displeased.
J
A girl, 19 years or so, in Kmart. She is on a mission to buy her first ever sports bra. She aims low, going for the two pack for $19. It takes her 10 minutes to find the right size (depressingly, it amounts to a 14B. She has a massive ribcage).
The first lady manning the change rooms is a lovely older woman. When the girl goes back the second time, the woman has changed to a mega bitch who is straight up rude to the girl. The girl wonders why such people exist. She was only trying to find the right sports bra size; does the woman want her tits to be as saggy as hers when she's that age?
The girl eventually finds a depressing 14B. At this point, she has also chosen two stud tops (honestly, with studs) to buy as well. She remembers on the way to purchase items, "I'm meant to be buying sockettes." Her sockettes are disgusting at this point with too many holes.
The thing is... she really needs to pee. Like, desperately. There are moments when she honestly thinks she is going to piss herself. But she also really wants to get the sockettes because if she doesn't do it now it will probably never happen.
She runs to the sock aisle. She sees the first sockettes she can find. She grabs them. She forces herself to only take one minute to choose the right sockettes (normally, she would take at least five but there's a urinary emergency at hand). She goes to pay and forces herself to use the self check-out (she prefers the normal one as the onus is not on her to make sure she doesn't accidentally fuck something up).
She makes her purchase. It takes a few minutes but luckily, it seems as if the pee has crawled back into her bladder and, for the time being, the world is at peace.
She runs out of the shop and pees.
The day is saved.
In other news, aforementioned girl's smartrider doesn't work anymore. As in, it doesn't scan at all. She called up the helpline and they said she has to find a help centre to get a new card (hopefully, for free). She was forced to spend $4 on the bus ride home.
Girl is displeased.
J
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Life's Like This
Why is Officeworks my life right now? It is undoubtedly sad.
Today, I fully embraced my growing crush on R. I went in half an hour before the store opened to help clean up and restock. Every time the door bell went off and I went to open the door for a team member, my heart stopped as I expected his stupid face to appear.
He has this habit of greeting every single person by name and making an effort to say good morning to everyone. He never eats during work (as in, goes nine hours without eating) but is somehow not skinny. Every time I walk into the staff room while he's on lunch, he's lying on the couch, playing on his ancient phone (despite being a tech person).
Just as we were closing up, he comes in from outside and says to me, "Junaberry, check this out!" and holds up this phone. "I found it in the recycling bin. It was in the box and everything!"
"Dude," I said to him, with a peculiar look to disguise my longing. "It's probably a terrorist phone or a kidnapper's phone. Watch yourself."
He ignored my suggestions and told me he was going to charge it and try to use it. We laughed.
I only have a week left on my Officeworks contract and I'm debating whether or not to ask if they'd be able to keep me on for just a few hours a week during uni. I put my availability down for until I start uni again (end of February) so I don't know what's going to happen. If they do keep me on, it means I'll have to stop tutoring my girls and that would cut me really deep. There are not enough hours in a week for this shit.
For the last of today's Officeworks Round Up, I want to share with you the conversation I had with one of the Officeworks tech guys during lunch today. He was telling me about how lonely he is in Perth. All his family is back in India and the six weeks a year he goes back to visit are the best weeks of his year. He went to TAFE/uni in Melbourne so all his uni friends are there. He said his whole life is just his morning job then Officeworks.
I suggested he join a club and asked if he played any sports (cricket). I told him to join a cricket club. He told me it would all be men.
"So you want to meet women, huh?" I said.
"A mixture," was the response.
I had no words. That was probably the most depressing and honest conversation I've ever had with someone who wasn't my best friend. And, honestly, I have no other suggestions for how he would be able to meet friends in Perth. Your ideas?
In other news, Hot Family Friend Guy (whom I have mentioned before) added me on facebook (after the 19 years I have known him and the five or so years I have had facebook). I am scared to accept the friend request because I'm scared he'll start talking to me. Ain't nobody got time (nor the energy) for dat. Or I may just be acting really egotistical and self-obsessed right now. Yolo.
J
Today, I fully embraced my growing crush on R. I went in half an hour before the store opened to help clean up and restock. Every time the door bell went off and I went to open the door for a team member, my heart stopped as I expected his stupid face to appear.
He has this habit of greeting every single person by name and making an effort to say good morning to everyone. He never eats during work (as in, goes nine hours without eating) but is somehow not skinny. Every time I walk into the staff room while he's on lunch, he's lying on the couch, playing on his ancient phone (despite being a tech person).
Just as we were closing up, he comes in from outside and says to me, "Junaberry, check this out!" and holds up this phone. "I found it in the recycling bin. It was in the box and everything!"
"Dude," I said to him, with a peculiar look to disguise my longing. "It's probably a terrorist phone or a kidnapper's phone. Watch yourself."
He ignored my suggestions and told me he was going to charge it and try to use it. We laughed.
I only have a week left on my Officeworks contract and I'm debating whether or not to ask if they'd be able to keep me on for just a few hours a week during uni. I put my availability down for until I start uni again (end of February) so I don't know what's going to happen. If they do keep me on, it means I'll have to stop tutoring my girls and that would cut me really deep. There are not enough hours in a week for this shit.
For the last of today's Officeworks Round Up, I want to share with you the conversation I had with one of the Officeworks tech guys during lunch today. He was telling me about how lonely he is in Perth. All his family is back in India and the six weeks a year he goes back to visit are the best weeks of his year. He went to TAFE/uni in Melbourne so all his uni friends are there. He said his whole life is just his morning job then Officeworks.
I suggested he join a club and asked if he played any sports (cricket). I told him to join a cricket club. He told me it would all be men.
"So you want to meet women, huh?" I said.
"A mixture," was the response.
I had no words. That was probably the most depressing and honest conversation I've ever had with someone who wasn't my best friend. And, honestly, I have no other suggestions for how he would be able to meet friends in Perth. Your ideas?
In other news, Hot Family Friend Guy (whom I have mentioned before) added me on facebook (after the 19 years I have known him and the five or so years I have had facebook). I am scared to accept the friend request because I'm scared he'll start talking to me. Ain't nobody got time (nor the energy) for dat. Or I may just be acting really egotistical and self-obsessed right now. Yolo.
J
Food Thoughts
1. I saw this amazing looking cashew chocolate cluster at the Margaret River Chocolate Factory in the city the other day. They also had macadamia chocolate clusters and almond chocolate clusters but the cashew one looked most amazing. I need it in me (sexually).
2. I'm craving froyo again. Again! I know what I'm going to be like when preggers (from the cashew chocolate cluster).
3. They changed curry puff suppliers at our local Oriental grocery store (as Big Michelle puts it. Does anyone remember the argument she and Kim had back in the day about whether they were Oriental grocery stores, Asian grocery stores or Vietnamese grocery stores?). They are more carby and pastry filled with no meat pieces inside. Good. I actually hate it when I eat things containing meat where I'm unable to see the meat explicitly. As in, I like to see what I'm eating. At least with vegetarian curry puffs, it's all just like a lump of potato and curry flavoured things.
4. I've been trying to convert people microwaved eggs. Everyone I come across. To strangers on the street, I yell, "HEY. MICROWAVE AN EGG. JUST TRY IT."
5. I had a salad for lunch yesterday for the first time in almost a year. It was bad because we had crappy lettuce and the avocado wasn't ripe yet. Nast. Otherwise, I enjoyed the freshness after a lot of (un)necessary indulgences this week.
J
2. I'm craving froyo again. Again! I know what I'm going to be like when preggers (from the cashew chocolate cluster).
3. They changed curry puff suppliers at our local Oriental grocery store (as Big Michelle puts it. Does anyone remember the argument she and Kim had back in the day about whether they were Oriental grocery stores, Asian grocery stores or Vietnamese grocery stores?). They are more carby and pastry filled with no meat pieces inside. Good. I actually hate it when I eat things containing meat where I'm unable to see the meat explicitly. As in, I like to see what I'm eating. At least with vegetarian curry puffs, it's all just like a lump of potato and curry flavoured things.
4. I've been trying to convert people microwaved eggs. Everyone I come across. To strangers on the street, I yell, "HEY. MICROWAVE AN EGG. JUST TRY IT."
5. I had a salad for lunch yesterday for the first time in almost a year. It was bad because we had crappy lettuce and the avocado wasn't ripe yet. Nast. Otherwise, I enjoyed the freshness after a lot of (un)necessary indulgences this week.
J
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Legit a Pill
There's this adorable guy at work whose name starts with R. He is slightly chubby (not even chubby; more like thick), acne-faced, nerdy and I find him, for some strange reason, stupidly sexy. I'm even starting to doubt my own tastes but I'm reassured by the fact that this guy is sweet, funny, smart, friendly, confident and he has this thing where he looks at you from underneath his eyelashes. Good Jesus, that look gets me every time.
I would describe him as Ed Sheeran Cute.
Today, at lunch, he was doing Japanese work from his TAFE book (he's visiting Japan this year) and when I asked him about it, he spent 10 minutes explaining the Japanese language. I didn't even care that it was boring as hell and I gave no fucks whatsoever; I was enraptured.
AND THEN I BURPED REALLY LOUDLY IN HIS PRESENCE. FUCK IT ALL TO HELL.
Technically, my work contract ends on the fourth of February and it's killing me. I feel sad.
J
I would describe him as Ed Sheeran Cute.
Today, at lunch, he was doing Japanese work from his TAFE book (he's visiting Japan this year) and when I asked him about it, he spent 10 minutes explaining the Japanese language. I didn't even care that it was boring as hell and I gave no fucks whatsoever; I was enraptured.
AND THEN I BURPED REALLY LOUDLY IN HIS PRESENCE. FUCK IT ALL TO HELL.
Technically, my work contract ends on the fourth of February and it's killing me. I feel sad.
J
Friday, January 25, 2013
P!nk - "Just Like A Pill"
I think this may be the only P!nk song I legitimately like. The rest are catchy but I actually like this one:
J
J
Long Day
Left home around 11am and got back around 8pm (not that long for many who are apparently hardcore and stay out for days and days).
I enjoyed froyo with Laura and Caitlyn (the red velvet cake flavour still doesn't impress me), was a jerk to a really nice guy/internet friend, stifled my guilt/awkwardness with choc chip pancakes (I left a token quarter pancake on my plate because apparently that's what you're supposed to do?), walked around the city and tried on clothes for a couple of hours then met with Little Mishelle and Big Michelle for the Twilight Hawker food festival.
I read about it on The Food Pornographer blog. All her pictures always look really nice and I'm always impressed whenever Perth manages to pull off something half decent. As a result, I've been meaning to go. Things I was disappointed with:
1. The abundance of the colour brown.
2. The repetition of many food types. Murtabak, gozleme, pupusas, pancakes etc. Too many flatbreads.
3. The lack of any kind of cake stall/bake sale. What? I thought this was a food festival.
In any case, it was really nice to see the girls. Big Michelle is going to Malaysia in a few days (replace "loved" with "missed"):
J
I enjoyed froyo with Laura and Caitlyn (the red velvet cake flavour still doesn't impress me), was a jerk to a really nice guy/internet friend, stifled my guilt/awkwardness with choc chip pancakes (I left a token quarter pancake on my plate because apparently that's what you're supposed to do?), walked around the city and tried on clothes for a couple of hours then met with Little Mishelle and Big Michelle for the Twilight Hawker food festival.
I read about it on The Food Pornographer blog. All her pictures always look really nice and I'm always impressed whenever Perth manages to pull off something half decent. As a result, I've been meaning to go. Things I was disappointed with:
1. The abundance of the colour brown.
2. The repetition of many food types. Murtabak, gozleme, pupusas, pancakes etc. Too many flatbreads.
3. The lack of any kind of cake stall/bake sale. What? I thought this was a food festival.
In any case, it was really nice to see the girls. Big Michelle is going to Malaysia in a few days (replace "loved" with "missed"):
J
Tonight's Entertainment (L!fe Happens)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1726589/
Ignore the heinously cheesy title and focus on what I'm about to tell you, bitches. This movie was really, really enjoyable and I even returned for a one-off/last Tonight's Entertainment blog post to tell you all about it.
First off, it starts Krysten Ritter who you may know as the hot-hot-hot neighbour of the Pink Man in Breaking Bad or the "tell me what you really think of me, no really" girl with the paedophile father in Veronica Mars. I used to hate Krysten Ritter because of that episode in Veronica Mars where she accuses Veronica's dad of banging a prostitute then using her dad as a scapegoat. Then Veronica saves her life TWICE and all she gets is some stupid cupcakes. I mean, I would at least expect a full sized mudcake from The Cheesecake Shop if I saved someone's life (twice). Nothing less. Note that for future reference.
Where was I? Right. But now I kind of like Krysten Ritter, partly because of her untimely and sad death in Breaking Bad (ooh, spoiler alerts etc. I don't give a fuck; that's old news) and also for her role in Confessions of a Shopaholic (a movie in which they smartly excluded the plot point of Krysten's character having the sex with her fucking cousin. I know it's a British book but seriously, I think only the monarchy can pull that off right now). As a result, I found her hilarious and charming in this movie.
I put off watching this movie because I watched the trailer and read the synopsis and thought it would be really depressing. Young girl gets pregnant, loses all hope? That is my worst fucking nightmare. But then I gave in and watched it because I ran out of stuff to watch. And I'm glad I did.
This movie also starts Kate Bosworth who was really funny, not to mention freaking beautiful, in this movie. I was getting more playful Kirsten-Dunst's-character-in-Bridesmaids vibes from her. I think I've only watched two movies with Kate Bosworth (Superman Returns and Win a Date with Tad Hamilton!) and she didn't impress me in either but she kind of did in this. It's funny how you get actors who you think are really boring but then they find their niche in comedy (like Channing Tatum or so I'm told because I haven't watched 21 Jump Street in which he is apparently appallingly delightful. Speaking of Channing Tatum, Dakota Channing. Har har).
The movie managed to stay away from anything to heavy or dark. It featured at least one really cute guy and two best friends whose relationship, I thought, was portrayed pretty accurately. A lot of bickering but also a lot of sweetness and funniness and the comfort that comes with best friendship.
I read a review that compared this movie to a more tame version of Bridesmaids and I pretty much agree. You should probably watch this.
4 stars.
J
Ignore the heinously cheesy title and focus on what I'm about to tell you, bitches. This movie was really, really enjoyable and I even returned for a one-off/last Tonight's Entertainment blog post to tell you all about it.
First off, it starts Krysten Ritter who you may know as the hot-hot-hot neighbour of the Pink Man in Breaking Bad or the "tell me what you really think of me, no really" girl with the paedophile father in Veronica Mars. I used to hate Krysten Ritter because of that episode in Veronica Mars where she accuses Veronica's dad of banging a prostitute then using her dad as a scapegoat. Then Veronica saves her life TWICE and all she gets is some stupid cupcakes. I mean, I would at least expect a full sized mudcake from The Cheesecake Shop if I saved someone's life (twice). Nothing less. Note that for future reference.
Where was I? Right. But now I kind of like Krysten Ritter, partly because of her untimely and sad death in Breaking Bad (ooh, spoiler alerts etc. I don't give a fuck; that's old news) and also for her role in Confessions of a Shopaholic (a movie in which they smartly excluded the plot point of Krysten's character having the sex with her fucking cousin. I know it's a British book but seriously, I think only the monarchy can pull that off right now). As a result, I found her hilarious and charming in this movie.
I put off watching this movie because I watched the trailer and read the synopsis and thought it would be really depressing. Young girl gets pregnant, loses all hope? That is my worst fucking nightmare. But then I gave in and watched it because I ran out of stuff to watch. And I'm glad I did.
This movie also starts Kate Bosworth who was really funny, not to mention freaking beautiful, in this movie. I was getting more playful Kirsten-Dunst's-character-in-Bridesmaids vibes from her. I think I've only watched two movies with Kate Bosworth (Superman Returns and Win a Date with Tad Hamilton!) and she didn't impress me in either but she kind of did in this. It's funny how you get actors who you think are really boring but then they find their niche in comedy (like Channing Tatum or so I'm told because I haven't watched 21 Jump Street in which he is apparently appallingly delightful. Speaking of Channing Tatum, Dakota Channing. Har har).
The movie managed to stay away from anything to heavy or dark. It featured at least one really cute guy and two best friends whose relationship, I thought, was portrayed pretty accurately. A lot of bickering but also a lot of sweetness and funniness and the comfort that comes with best friendship.
I read a review that compared this movie to a more tame version of Bridesmaids and I pretty much agree. You should probably watch this.
4 stars.
J
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Leggings Can Sometimes Be Pants
Is it sad that, all day at work today, all I could think about was watching Pretty Little Liars when I got home?
It's because I was on ontd about 15 minutes before I was leaving for work. And I saw a post about Pretty Little Liars and it suddenly occurred to me that it probably came out yesterday or the day before and I hadn't watched it yet. Despite their being an apparently pivotal scene involving Spencer (who I one day aspire to be). And despite it being one of my favourite TV shows on TV (or the internet) right now. It is a constant source of both shame and entertainment for me.
I'm about to watch it. Also, New Girl bores me these days for some reason. I don't even bother to watch it anymore and that show used to crack me up to obnoxious levels. What's up, homie?
I also have a confession to share... Last night, I was up until 1am reading the men's fashion advice reddit and I don't even know why. I just kept reading and reading and getting sucked in. I tried the women's fashion advice reddit but that was a lot more boring for me. It was interesting seeing the other side of the coin (is that a saying or did I just make that up?).
On that note, I realized that men's fashion is just a gateway for men/boiz to snark at each other and talk about their cankles.
J
It's because I was on ontd about 15 minutes before I was leaving for work. And I saw a post about Pretty Little Liars and it suddenly occurred to me that it probably came out yesterday or the day before and I hadn't watched it yet. Despite their being an apparently pivotal scene involving Spencer (who I one day aspire to be). And despite it being one of my favourite TV shows on TV (or the internet) right now. It is a constant source of both shame and entertainment for me.
I'm about to watch it. Also, New Girl bores me these days for some reason. I don't even bother to watch it anymore and that show used to crack me up to obnoxious levels. What's up, homie?
I also have a confession to share... Last night, I was up until 1am reading the men's fashion advice reddit and I don't even know why. I just kept reading and reading and getting sucked in. I tried the women's fashion advice reddit but that was a lot more boring for me. It was interesting seeing the other side of the coin (is that a saying or did I just make that up?).
On that note, I realized that men's fashion is just a gateway for men/boiz to snark at each other and talk about their cankles.
J
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Feck
As I have just realized I can successfully post .gifs here (unlike livejournal back in the day), I feel it only necessary/fair that I share my favourite here. This one never fails to make me laugh (and it's from ontd):
This happens to me a lot. Maybe not the milk/cereal thing but the general sentiment. I'll be doing something really casual/simple or I'll be getting ready for something I'm looking forward to... then bam, something really annoying happens and everything goes to shit. It usually involves cleaning.
Wow, that was the most boring thing I've ever written.
J
This happens to me a lot. Maybe not the milk/cereal thing but the general sentiment. I'll be doing something really casual/simple or I'll be getting ready for something I'm looking forward to... then bam, something really annoying happens and everything goes to shit. It usually involves cleaning.
Wow, that was the most boring thing I've ever written.
J
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Late Night News
In other news pertaining to last night (I've never had so much to write about at 8.30am), my grandpa pissed in the shower. My brother was in the toilet. It was around 11.30pm and my grandpa stumbled out of bed, saw the closed toilet door, went into the bathroom and took a fucking piss in the shower.
My grandpa, being 91 this year, tends to have no control over the aim of his stream of consciousness/piss. This results in a lot of piss everywhere. I avoid inviting people over to my house at this time of year because it means they either have to use a piss-infested toilet and step in a lot of piss to take their own piss or I have to clean the toilet and I have avoided entering the toilet for a solid 1.5 months now.
I did not see this go down but my brother came to me a few minutes later and informed me of the facts. We went to inspect the shower. There was (quite a lot) of piss by the shower.
"Did he rinse out the shower?"
"No."
"Motherf-" Please note: I was not calling my grandpa a motherfucker. I was generally exclaiming on how horrific this situation was.
I took a closer look, planning my angle of attack. It was then I noticed the marks in the piss... The tread on the soles of my grandpa's slippers. I am fully aware that my grandpa is constantly walking in his own piss in the toilet and therefore tracking it throughout the whole house but, without visual evidence of this, I have chosen to ignore it. It was un-ignorable now. The evidence was clear. I saw the footprints exiting the shower and entering my grandpa's room.
"Get me paper towels," I said to my brother, all business. He did as I said. The next few minutes were pretty hectic.
"You're spreading it!" my brother kept saying.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP," I yelled back at him. "We have to rinse out the shower."
"Why?"
I ignored this question and rinsed out the shower with all my might. I threw the paper towels out, sighed to myself then scrubbed my hands with hand soap into oblivion.
To end this pleasant anecdote, I also found shit in the shower the other day. I'm trying not to think about it (now you can).
J
My grandpa, being 91 this year, tends to have no control over the aim of his stream of consciousness/piss. This results in a lot of piss everywhere. I avoid inviting people over to my house at this time of year because it means they either have to use a piss-infested toilet and step in a lot of piss to take their own piss or I have to clean the toilet and I have avoided entering the toilet for a solid 1.5 months now.
I did not see this go down but my brother came to me a few minutes later and informed me of the facts. We went to inspect the shower. There was (quite a lot) of piss by the shower.
"Did he rinse out the shower?"
"No."
"Motherf-" Please note: I was not calling my grandpa a motherfucker. I was generally exclaiming on how horrific this situation was.
I took a closer look, planning my angle of attack. It was then I noticed the marks in the piss... The tread on the soles of my grandpa's slippers. I am fully aware that my grandpa is constantly walking in his own piss in the toilet and therefore tracking it throughout the whole house but, without visual evidence of this, I have chosen to ignore it. It was un-ignorable now. The evidence was clear. I saw the footprints exiting the shower and entering my grandpa's room.
"Get me paper towels," I said to my brother, all business. He did as I said. The next few minutes were pretty hectic.
"You're spreading it!" my brother kept saying.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP," I yelled back at him. "We have to rinse out the shower."
"Why?"
I ignored this question and rinsed out the shower with all my might. I threw the paper towels out, sighed to myself then scrubbed my hands with hand soap into oblivion.
To end this pleasant anecdote, I also found shit in the shower the other day. I'm trying not to think about it (now you can).
J
Angry for No Reason
I woke up this morning and, within five minutes, was angry.
I walked out into the kitchen and saw an empty box of Carman's apricot muesli bars out for recycling. The very box of Carman's apricot muesli bars that I had purchased for myself last Monday with the intention of spreading them out over my work week and providing myself with adequate sustenance. I also bought them at full price (when they're on special at Woolworths this week for $1.80 which, as you can imagine, has made me even more angry).
I had purposefully put this special box of Carman's apricot muesli bars in the back pantry knowing that, if I put them in the normal pantry, my brother would eat them all within a day. He doesn't like the taste of these things (I know) but he is also a lazy eater and Carman's apricot muesli bars are easy eating.
I texted mother immediately in a state of rage. My blood was boiling and it was only 8am; this could not be good for my blood pressure.
"What happened to my muesli bars?" the text read.
Within a minute, "I ate them. R they yours? Sorry."
My response, "Unacceptable. How many were left?"
I was hiding my anger under a thin veil of "sarcasm." This was not sarcasm, in fact. This act was wholly unacceptable. I had to remind myself of all the times mother had bought me shit and how she gave birth to me and provides food and nourishment for me. She called a second later.
"Sorry! Were they yours?" she said, her voice in hushed tones due to being in an open plan office.
"Yes, that's okay. How many were left?"
"Two. I ate one yesterday... and one today," she said.
"That's okay," I said, meaning it more this time because mothers need nourishment too.
We closed the conversation. In any case, I fully intend to go to Woolworths today and pick up at least two packs of Carman's apricot muesli bars or a slight variation of it. I may even treat myself to a small pack of Chobani just because I like the freedom of choosing a single serve Greek yoghurt from a variety of different flavours.
Speaking of being angry for no (or little) reason, when I was younger, if I woke up and everyone had left for the day already and hadn't said goodbye (despite me being asleep), I would get really angry. I would be nine or 10 and it would probably be Saturday and the family had gone grocery shopping (WITHOUT ME despite grocery shopping being one of my favourite mundane household chores in the whole entire fucking world). I would roll out of bed, disorientated, dazed and confused, and stumble around for a bit.
"Mum? Dad?" I would call out. Screw my brother (don't actually). No response. I would wander over to the lounge and look into the carport. One of the cars gone. It hit home. It was a feeling of abandonment. And no one really likes waking up alone when they don't expect it.
Other cases of childhood unreasonable anger:
1. No milk left. How dare they!
2. My mum in Malaysia. I make a birthday cake. We eat then dad cuts it all up and wraps it in individual glad wraps. What the fuck?
3. Other food related shit. All I care about is food. MY WHOLE LIFE IS FOOD.
I have written myself into a state of panic and must race to Woolworths before all my beloved Carman's apricot muesli bars are gone. I will be devastated and angry for no reason (or a really, really big reason) if they are.
I cannot leave this blog post without writing about one of my top reasons for getting angry (and often to an irrational level of anger but never irrationally).
My dad and his tendency to pick on everything I do. Here's a short list:
1. I'm baking a cake. He stands there, watches me and critiques my technique despite him never having baked anything in his entire life. His favourite tip/trick is to tell me to leave the cake in the oven for longer than necessary so the top gets nice and brown. In those moments, I tend to hope something nice and brown falls on his face.
2. In year 12, I finally gathered the courage to start wearing shorts of the shorter variety. On the first day, a day already filled with much anxiety (or not, I'm exaggerating for comedic effect), my dad looked at me with a serious look then said, "You don't have to dress like that just because everyone else does. Be yourself."
"GO FUCK YOURSELF," I really wanted to yell. Because I was dressing how I wanted to dress. I like the feeling of bare legs (it's easy, breezy, beautiful) and I like legs in general. They TAKE you places.
Later, after three more comments over the length of a week, I was so completely furious that I started ripping into (read: unpicking) the hem of my shorts in an effort to make them longer. My dad comes along (just like he does when I'm baking a fucking cake) and says, "What are you doing?"
"Making them longer."
"Oh, good."
"GO FUCK YOURSELF!"
3. I started buying low fat yoghurt a little while ago in an effort to make my body low fat (it hasn't worked... maybe because I've been supplementing the low fat yoghurt with the Toots and Connoisseur cookies and cream. Oops). My dad, who went super healthy and into fitness about seven years ago (it disgusts me), sees me eating my yoghurt and says, "I know you're very conscious about this sort of thing so I thought I should tell you that it's quite fattening to eat so much dairy."
I choked back on tears and the yoghurt-bile that was coming up in my throat.
This time, I turned around and said, "I don't give a shit." Then I finished my goddamn yoghurt (now, it tasted tainted).
J
I walked out into the kitchen and saw an empty box of Carman's apricot muesli bars out for recycling. The very box of Carman's apricot muesli bars that I had purchased for myself last Monday with the intention of spreading them out over my work week and providing myself with adequate sustenance. I also bought them at full price (when they're on special at Woolworths this week for $1.80 which, as you can imagine, has made me even more angry).
I had purposefully put this special box of Carman's apricot muesli bars in the back pantry knowing that, if I put them in the normal pantry, my brother would eat them all within a day. He doesn't like the taste of these things (I know) but he is also a lazy eater and Carman's apricot muesli bars are easy eating.
I texted mother immediately in a state of rage. My blood was boiling and it was only 8am; this could not be good for my blood pressure.
"What happened to my muesli bars?" the text read.
Within a minute, "I ate them. R they yours? Sorry."
My response, "Unacceptable. How many were left?"
I was hiding my anger under a thin veil of "sarcasm." This was not sarcasm, in fact. This act was wholly unacceptable. I had to remind myself of all the times mother had bought me shit and how she gave birth to me and provides food and nourishment for me. She called a second later.
"Sorry! Were they yours?" she said, her voice in hushed tones due to being in an open plan office.
"Yes, that's okay. How many were left?"
"Two. I ate one yesterday... and one today," she said.
"That's okay," I said, meaning it more this time because mothers need nourishment too.
We closed the conversation. In any case, I fully intend to go to Woolworths today and pick up at least two packs of Carman's apricot muesli bars or a slight variation of it. I may even treat myself to a small pack of Chobani just because I like the freedom of choosing a single serve Greek yoghurt from a variety of different flavours.
Speaking of being angry for no (or little) reason, when I was younger, if I woke up and everyone had left for the day already and hadn't said goodbye (despite me being asleep), I would get really angry. I would be nine or 10 and it would probably be Saturday and the family had gone grocery shopping (WITHOUT ME despite grocery shopping being one of my favourite mundane household chores in the whole entire fucking world). I would roll out of bed, disorientated, dazed and confused, and stumble around for a bit.
"Mum? Dad?" I would call out. Screw my brother (don't actually). No response. I would wander over to the lounge and look into the carport. One of the cars gone. It hit home. It was a feeling of abandonment. And no one really likes waking up alone when they don't expect it.
Other cases of childhood unreasonable anger:
1. No milk left. How dare they!
2. My mum in Malaysia. I make a birthday cake. We eat then dad cuts it all up and wraps it in individual glad wraps. What the fuck?
3. Other food related shit. All I care about is food. MY WHOLE LIFE IS FOOD.
I have written myself into a state of panic and must race to Woolworths before all my beloved Carman's apricot muesli bars are gone. I will be devastated and angry for no reason (or a really, really big reason) if they are.
I cannot leave this blog post without writing about one of my top reasons for getting angry (and often to an irrational level of anger but never irrationally).
My dad and his tendency to pick on everything I do. Here's a short list:
1. I'm baking a cake. He stands there, watches me and critiques my technique despite him never having baked anything in his entire life. His favourite tip/trick is to tell me to leave the cake in the oven for longer than necessary so the top gets nice and brown. In those moments, I tend to hope something nice and brown falls on his face.
2. In year 12, I finally gathered the courage to start wearing shorts of the shorter variety. On the first day, a day already filled with much anxiety (or not, I'm exaggerating for comedic effect), my dad looked at me with a serious look then said, "You don't have to dress like that just because everyone else does. Be yourself."
"GO FUCK YOURSELF," I really wanted to yell. Because I was dressing how I wanted to dress. I like the feeling of bare legs (it's easy, breezy, beautiful) and I like legs in general. They TAKE you places.
Later, after three more comments over the length of a week, I was so completely furious that I started ripping into (read: unpicking) the hem of my shorts in an effort to make them longer. My dad comes along (just like he does when I'm baking a fucking cake) and says, "What are you doing?"
"Making them longer."
"Oh, good."
"GO FUCK YOURSELF!"
3. I started buying low fat yoghurt a little while ago in an effort to make my body low fat (it hasn't worked... maybe because I've been supplementing the low fat yoghurt with the Toots and Connoisseur cookies and cream. Oops). My dad, who went super healthy and into fitness about seven years ago (it disgusts me), sees me eating my yoghurt and says, "I know you're very conscious about this sort of thing so I thought I should tell you that it's quite fattening to eat so much dairy."
I choked back on tears and the yoghurt-bile that was coming up in my throat.
This time, I turned around and said, "I don't give a shit." Then I finished my goddamn yoghurt (now, it tasted tainted).
J
Monday, January 21, 2013
Gaucho Pants are Cool
Drew Barrymore does not age. I am watching Going the Distance and she literally looks the same (if not younger) than she did in Never Been Kissed.
Speaking of movies, as you know, I took a short break from the romantic comedies. What ensued was a mish mash of Alfred Hitchcock and creepy thrillers. Then I found myself delving into romantic dramas, mostly depressing, by accident. By accident, friends. I had no desire whatsoever to watch these movies but, whilst trying to scurry back into the romantic comedy genre, I accidentally found myself watching these movies.
How many times can I use the word accident or a variation of it?
These movies included Perfect Sense, The Romantics, Blue Valentine, 50/50 (which was actually good), Remember Me and a lot of stuff that ended sadly and with me choking back tears (and stinging hand pain).
Today was beach day. I drank a lot of saltwater and then choked it down with the most exquisite Tutti Frutti of my life. Good Lord, I did not hold back and topped it with Tiny Teddies (my lovers), one chocolate wafer and Fruit Loops. I finally got to try the red velvet flavour (eh, average) and had my favourites (mango, lychee). I have been craving the Toots for months now but have struggled to persuade anyone to make the reasonably adventurous trek to indulge in the Toots. I guess a trip to Scabs Beach (an extremely unfortunate name) was what was required to scam a trip to Toots (and I now insist on calling it Toots or the Toots at all costs).
I haven't been swimming in the beach/ocean since year one. It is amazing. I feel invigorated and my skin has never felt so smooth. Despite the sand in my ass, it was so worth it.
J
Speaking of movies, as you know, I took a short break from the romantic comedies. What ensued was a mish mash of Alfred Hitchcock and creepy thrillers. Then I found myself delving into romantic dramas, mostly depressing, by accident. By accident, friends. I had no desire whatsoever to watch these movies but, whilst trying to scurry back into the romantic comedy genre, I accidentally found myself watching these movies.
How many times can I use the word accident or a variation of it?
These movies included Perfect Sense, The Romantics, Blue Valentine, 50/50 (which was actually good), Remember Me and a lot of stuff that ended sadly and with me choking back tears (and stinging hand pain).
Today was beach day. I drank a lot of saltwater and then choked it down with the most exquisite Tutti Frutti of my life. Good Lord, I did not hold back and topped it with Tiny Teddies (my lovers), one chocolate wafer and Fruit Loops. I finally got to try the red velvet flavour (eh, average) and had my favourites (mango, lychee). I have been craving the Toots for months now but have struggled to persuade anyone to make the reasonably adventurous trek to indulge in the Toots. I guess a trip to Scabs Beach (an extremely unfortunate name) was what was required to scam a trip to Toots (and I now insist on calling it Toots or the Toots at all costs).
I haven't been swimming in the beach/ocean since year one. It is amazing. I feel invigorated and my skin has never felt so smooth. Despite the sand in my ass, it was so worth it.
J
Sundaynightis
I was up for most of last night, lying in my bed and listening to the fridge hum. The following list is a conceptualization of last night's stream of consciousness:
1. A new idea for a book entitled Novice Works. Get it? It reminds with Officeworks. I've already written a brief outline.
2. I sometimes (occasionally... regularly) go to bed already thinking about what I'm going to eat for breakfast.
3. My deep distrust towards all Oriental and natural medicines. And therefore my haughty attitude towards natural therapists etc.
4. A deep yearning to make banana soft serve again. I've made it before and subsequently broke the food processing thing with which I made it. It was one of those stick-like things that you plunge into whatever you're trying to process. Liquidizer?
5. In year eight, I once burst into tears because one of my best friends (my best friend at the time) said I wasn't her best friend anymore. Not in a mean way but as a statement. To someone else. I was in the room and overheard. We have since moved on and I think I love her more than ever now.
6. I dropped my phone the night before and there is nary a scratch on it. Impossible!
7. Memories of my year six graduation and being horrifically self-conscious of my dress. It had a big white bow on the front and my mother made me buy it.
8. I would have so many of Adam Brody's babies if I could.
J
1. A new idea for a book entitled Novice Works. Get it? It reminds with Officeworks. I've already written a brief outline.
2. I sometimes (occasionally... regularly) go to bed already thinking about what I'm going to eat for breakfast.
3. My deep distrust towards all Oriental and natural medicines. And therefore my haughty attitude towards natural therapists etc.
4. A deep yearning to make banana soft serve again. I've made it before and subsequently broke the food processing thing with which I made it. It was one of those stick-like things that you plunge into whatever you're trying to process. Liquidizer?
5. In year eight, I once burst into tears because one of my best friends (my best friend at the time) said I wasn't her best friend anymore. Not in a mean way but as a statement. To someone else. I was in the room and overheard. We have since moved on and I think I love her more than ever now.
6. I dropped my phone the night before and there is nary a scratch on it. Impossible!
7. Memories of my year six graduation and being horrifically self-conscious of my dress. It had a big white bow on the front and my mother made me buy it.
8. I would have so many of Adam Brody's babies if I could.
J
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Good Morning
I'm reading this blog post right now: http://www.healthytippingpoint.com/2012/07/workout-debate-smiling-at-strangers.html
More specifically the comments. Reading it has triggered a long distant memory of a time when Little Mishelle and I used to go jogging every morning a couple of summers ago. I remember it clearly. We were young and spritely back then with an urge to "get healthy."
We always used to see this one guy running beside the Catholic primary school near our old high school. He was a bit past middle aged, had a close-cut haircut and usually wore grey/black running clothes. We used to say good morning to people back then. I'm not sure if I would still say good morning now because I get lazier and lazier with each passing day.
For the most part, people would say hello back, usually accompanied by a smile. But this guy never would. I would say, "Good morning!" all cheery like and he would look straight through me/us. We tried and tried each morning to facilitate some friendly exchange. More peppy with each try. We threw on our best smiles, our friendliest "Hullo!"s. It never worked.
One morning, we were "running" (I use that term loosely) when we came upon this guy again.
"Good morning!" one of us said. He did not say anything back. We continued running, he continued running. I looked back after a few seconds.
"Bitch!" I said.
Perhaps less exclaim-y and in a softer tone than our initially salutations. But I had said it nonetheless, revelling in my own badassery. God, I was amazing. It was rebellious, outspoken, brave, RUDE.
Then, after a few milliseconds, the thrill of the act died down. Little Mishelle and I looked at each other and SPRINTED off, terrified that this guy would come after us and hunt us down. He kind of looked like the type (I would describe him as ex-military if this was an episode of NCIS) and obviously was on some kind of strict exercise program or training for a marathon or something ridiculous like that.
That sprint was probably the most strenuous exercise we ever got during those 1.75 months in the summer of 2010/11.
J
Friday, January 18, 2013
Ed Sheeran - "You Need Me, I Don't Need You"
It's weird. I consider Ed Sheeran to have real talent. The fact that he did a duet with Taylor Swift feels like a downgrade...
J
J
I Knew You Were Trouble
Yesterday, work was a mish mash of goodness and badness.
The goodness was that Sarah and two of my uni friends came into Officeworks and we had the chit-chat for a couple of minutes. I did not get to talk to Sarah but gazed at her across the notebooks whilst trying to stifle my boner. I am glad to see she is safely back in Perth and did not get dengue fever in Malaysia or kidnapped and forced into sexual slavery in Singapore (I shouldn't joke about this. This is not a joke; I am sincerely glad she is home, safe and sound).
The badness was that I had a seemingly abundant amount of shithouse customers yesterday. Dare I say it, they were Cuntz with a capital C. Oh God, the profanity. You know someone is going to be trouble when you say, "Hi, how's it going?" to them as they walk in and their response is to mumble, "Yeah, good."
"Yeah, good" can be an acceptable response on a lot of occasions when greeted by a door person. For example, if you say those words with a pleasant smile or a nod or even a seedy wink (I received three yesterday. Yes! Womanhood validated!). It is NOT acceptable when said in a morose tone without any eye contact and no decrease in velocity of walking.
Said customer, an older lady, came back to me after five minutes and said, "I need help with a printer and there's not a soul around," in the most irritated of tones. I told her I would get someone from technology to help her out. As always, we were understaffed and our one technology guy was out helping someone load something into their car.
"He'll be back in a second," I told Cunt. She waited and stood and, yes, it took at least five minutes but there's not a lot I can do about that. When he got back, technology guy helped her. After a while, she STRODE out of the store with a few final words to me.
"This was just a waste of my bloody time."
And that was the last I saw of her (her and her fat ass).
I've also decided that if I'm going to continue complaining about customers on this blog, I have to make sure no one can ever identify me or the branch I work at. Hence, I am going to go back and edit out all potentially incriminating evidence.
J
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Mind Bottling
The following things bottle my mind:
1. Zippers.
2. Taylor Swift's beauty.
3. The internet.
4. Computers.
5. Cameras.
6. Wind/hurricanes/tornadoes.
7. Tomatoes (yes, I only wrote that because the word "tornadoes" reminds me of tomatoes).
8. Greying/white hairs.
9. Prawns (I have no idea what's going on in those little bodies).
10. Giant octopi.
Some things to consider this Tuesday night. I should go to bed soon.
J
1. Zippers.
2. Taylor Swift's beauty.
3. The internet.
4. Computers.
5. Cameras.
6. Wind/hurricanes/tornadoes.
7. Tomatoes (yes, I only wrote that because the word "tornadoes" reminds me of tomatoes).
8. Greying/white hairs.
9. Prawns (I have no idea what's going on in those little bodies).
10. Giant octopi.
Some things to consider this Tuesday night. I should go to bed soon.
J
Yogo
Potential Officeworks Robber Guy (PORG), turns out, is a no-go. Whilst eating "dunch" (dinner-lunch) at work around 5pm, I had a nice conversation with PORG.
I found out he is studying building-something-or-other at TAFE, got the job via another girl who works at Officeworks (she is hilarious) and is 27. Twenty-fucking-seven. I promptly shut that down (in my head. Don't worry, I didn't just get up and walk away) and enjoyed the rest of my conversation with him (over him eating his McDonald's dunch) without a care in the world.
Caitlyn came into work today. She always comes in late afternoon when it's really quiet and is all, "Does this place ever gets busy?" I can feel her judgmental eyes. They are saying, "Why do they even pay you?" Well, it was busy as fuck just 20 minutes before that! I crave her approval. Other than those judgmental eyes, it was such a pleasure to see her. I don't see Caitlyn enough (she is always working at the chocolate factory or working out at the gym. Irony!). Her face lights up my life.
I'm watching Catfish right now. Your love is my drug.
J
I found out he is studying building-something-or-other at TAFE, got the job via another girl who works at Officeworks (she is hilarious) and is 27. Twenty-fucking-seven. I promptly shut that down (in my head. Don't worry, I didn't just get up and walk away) and enjoyed the rest of my conversation with him (over him eating his McDonald's dunch) without a care in the world.
Caitlyn came into work today. She always comes in late afternoon when it's really quiet and is all, "Does this place ever gets busy?" I can feel her judgmental eyes. They are saying, "Why do they even pay you?" Well, it was busy as fuck just 20 minutes before that! I crave her approval. Other than those judgmental eyes, it was such a pleasure to see her. I don't see Caitlyn enough (she is always working at the chocolate factory or working out at the gym. Irony!). Her face lights up my life.
I'm watching Catfish right now. Your love is my drug.
J
Ellie Goulding - "Anything Could Happen"
Her dancing is so cute but I'm so tired of this song. I hear it too much.
J
J
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
This Face? My Over the Moon Face
Is that a pony?
Or is Kristen Bell pregnant?
Congratulations, V. But when did this even happen? She is on and popping and this is the first time I've heard of this. Never change, my girl.
J
Monday, January 14, 2013
European Adventure (Making It Official)
Once it's on the blog, it's a done deal. Most of you already know but... I'm going to Europe the end of next year with Big Michelle and Little Mishelle. It's going to be absolute madness.
I'm so excited that I think I'm going to explode sometimes and then sometimes I'm very nonchalant and who-gives-a-shit. But I've spent the most of this afternoon doing in depth planning for Florence and Cinque Terra and I can feel my stomach falling out of my urethra. It's that exciting (that's a long fucking drop!).
The thing I'm most excited for is hiking through the Lake District. The Lake District is a place, I'm not ashamed to admit, I first heard about in Pride & Prejudice (yes, the Keira Knightley one. And I know a lot of you hate it but that movie is my jam). In the book, it is a place Lizzie wants to go but is denied. In the movie, she visits the Peak District with her aunt and uncle (an equally beautiful place).
Regardless, it was the Lake District that Peaked my interest (har har). After reading about it and thinking about it, it seems unimaginably perfect.
"What are men to rocks and mountains?" asks Mary Bennett, the forlorn and dowdy younger sister.
I agree wholeheartedly. Whether the Peak District, Lake District, Hampstead Heath, Tibetan flatlands or Walyunga Park (the place I finally figured out is where my family and I used to go hiking when I was younger: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walyunga_National_Park), I can't think of anything more romantic or inspiring than unrestrained nature.
In the 2005 movie, there's a scene where Lizzie is on holiday with her aunt and uncle in the Peak District and she's standing on top of the cliff with her eyes closed. The sun is fluttering on her closed eyes but the image is such that you are Lizzie and your eyes are closed and you're facing this massive expanse. Everything's opened out in front of you but closed at the same time; there's no way you can scale that cliff or scramble through that rocky outcrop.
I'm keeping the comfort levels of my travel companions close to heart so have planned for some easier hikes whilst we're in the Lake District. But once I'm older, I'm going to go back with some of my own proper hiking boots (we plan on hiring. Yes, gross but necessary), waterproof equipment (highly attractive) and an equally enthusiastic hiking companion and conquer Skiddaw and all the other ridiculous fells over there. Then maybe we'll take the short journey to Scotland and say hello to Craig Ferguson's grandma.
This is what it looks like:
Planning for this European Adventure has got me reflecting more and more on what I want in life. I think it will be quite the experience. In the meantime, I'm enjoying my Perthian summer holiday quite a lot.
I went to the beach today and had Cold Rock ice cream for the first time. I'm sorry, Meg, but I was sorely disappointed. I paid $7.10 for tasteless cookies & cream and one (READ: ONE) Oreo. ONE OREO FOR AN EXTRA 90c. I can buy a whole packet of Oreos for $1 on special. I really have no words. I'm glad I Life Experienced Cold Rock ice cream but I don't think I'll be going back.
J
I'm so excited that I think I'm going to explode sometimes and then sometimes I'm very nonchalant and who-gives-a-shit. But I've spent the most of this afternoon doing in depth planning for Florence and Cinque Terra and I can feel my stomach falling out of my urethra. It's that exciting (that's a long fucking drop!).
The thing I'm most excited for is hiking through the Lake District. The Lake District is a place, I'm not ashamed to admit, I first heard about in Pride & Prejudice (yes, the Keira Knightley one. And I know a lot of you hate it but that movie is my jam). In the book, it is a place Lizzie wants to go but is denied. In the movie, she visits the Peak District with her aunt and uncle (an equally beautiful place).
Regardless, it was the Lake District that Peaked my interest (har har). After reading about it and thinking about it, it seems unimaginably perfect.
"What are men to rocks and mountains?" asks Mary Bennett, the forlorn and dowdy younger sister.
I agree wholeheartedly. Whether the Peak District, Lake District, Hampstead Heath, Tibetan flatlands or Walyunga Park (the place I finally figured out is where my family and I used to go hiking when I was younger: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walyunga_National_Park), I can't think of anything more romantic or inspiring than unrestrained nature.
In the 2005 movie, there's a scene where Lizzie is on holiday with her aunt and uncle in the Peak District and she's standing on top of the cliff with her eyes closed. The sun is fluttering on her closed eyes but the image is such that you are Lizzie and your eyes are closed and you're facing this massive expanse. Everything's opened out in front of you but closed at the same time; there's no way you can scale that cliff or scramble through that rocky outcrop.
I'm keeping the comfort levels of my travel companions close to heart so have planned for some easier hikes whilst we're in the Lake District. But once I'm older, I'm going to go back with some of my own proper hiking boots (we plan on hiring. Yes, gross but necessary), waterproof equipment (highly attractive) and an equally enthusiastic hiking companion and conquer Skiddaw and all the other ridiculous fells over there. Then maybe we'll take the short journey to Scotland and say hello to Craig Ferguson's grandma.
This is what it looks like:
Planning for this European Adventure has got me reflecting more and more on what I want in life. I think it will be quite the experience. In the meantime, I'm enjoying my Perthian summer holiday quite a lot.
I went to the beach today and had Cold Rock ice cream for the first time. I'm sorry, Meg, but I was sorely disappointed. I paid $7.10 for tasteless cookies & cream and one (READ: ONE) Oreo. ONE OREO FOR AN EXTRA 90c. I can buy a whole packet of Oreos for $1 on special. I really have no words. I'm glad I Life Experienced Cold Rock ice cream but I don't think I'll be going back.
J
Sunday, January 13, 2013
I Ate Waffles
I had the most amazing day at work yesterday. On Saturdays, all the new/young people are on without the watchful gaze of the manager (who stays out back) or the titchy nightfill captain. We have so much fun. I have made a really cool group/few friends at work and I finally feel validated or some shit.
I also love making money and am considering buying $120 boots online plus shipping. this may not be outrageous to many of you but I don't think I've spent more than $30 on a pair of shoes before. That being said, I think my purchase of $8 fake Conserves and $5 Pocahontassy teal flats at kick-ass Kmart the other day makes up for it. God bless that institution.
I have to go find some other girly, off-beat dramedy to watch now as I finished watching Girls. On that note, I wish Lena Dunham would learn how to dress so she doesn't put on 20kg with her skirt. Gorl, you can do better.
J
Friday, January 11, 2013
Girls Gone Cray
AND GIRLS JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER AND BETTER.
Albeit, I was not ready to see Lena Dunham's tits that suddenly (and with no warning). But seeing Skylar Astin's bodacious face (can a face be bodacious?) pop up on my screen all but made up for it.
Do you people brush your tongue/cheeks when you brush your teeth? I feel like I'm supposed to but every time I try, I just dry heave all up in my sink and wake up half the neighbourhood with my feeble attempts at being hygienic. Self-hygiene is just not my strong suit.
I think I should move to Queens, New York because that's where the Nanny (Fine) is from and she eats almost constantly. She's got big hair, a Fine ass (see what I did there?), sass and plenty of bide and a large collection of (my favourite) tube skirts.
Hold up. I'm starting to think that it's not that I want to live in Queens, New York... It's that I want to be Fran Fine.
J
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Bloatmeal
I just binged on banana oatmeal, almonds, jalapeno Pringles and fruit for dinner after getting home from work. I freaking love food. I just wish one could eat and eat and never worry about getting fat or high cholesterol or diarrhea.
Girls is fucking amazing. I'm only 17.09 minutes into the first episode but between the copious amounts of food consumption, awkward anal sex mishaps and the girl whose boyfriend's touch reminds her of a creepy uncle, this may very well be the best show known to man.
I can't believe I ignored Sarah's suggestions for so long.
And now I'm onto episode two and it's 12.30am and I realize Lena Dunham is master of the awkward sex scene. I hope that one day I will be able to live out something at least half that awkward.
Holy crap, aforementioned girl's (my God. Is that why it's called Girls?!) solution to boyfriend whose touch reminds her of a creepy uncle was to do it doggy style. I'm gonna die. This shouldn't be as funny as it is to me right now. Can you get drunk of jalapeno flavoured chips? Did you also know Pringles are not technically potato chips as their potato content is less than what is required to satisfy the criteria?
This show is perfect with just the right amount of hot people to make it tolerable.
J
I can't believe I ignored Sarah's suggestions for so long.
And now I'm onto episode two and it's 12.30am and I realize Lena Dunham is master of the awkward sex scene. I hope that one day I will be able to live out something at least half that awkward.
Holy crap, aforementioned girl's (my God. Is that why it's called Girls?!) solution to boyfriend whose touch reminds her of a creepy uncle was to do it doggy style. I'm gonna die. This shouldn't be as funny as it is to me right now. Can you get drunk of jalapeno flavoured chips? Did you also know Pringles are not technically potato chips as their potato content is less than what is required to satisfy the criteria?
This show is perfect with just the right amount of hot people to make it tolerable.
J
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Ode to Some Guy
To Some Guy,
When I saw you come into work this evening in your fitted red plaid shirt and that face of yours, I thought to myself, "There be a good looking man." To be sure, to be sure, as I gained a closer look, you were indeed a very nice looking person.
You approached me and queried re: a chair you ordered. I called furniture to get it from the back as I continued to drink in your well-chiselled face and fit bod. After some discussion with my manager/person in charge of furniture, I learned that your name was Ali and so that partially explained your Middle Eastern appearance and accent.
Said manager went out back to grab said chair. You stood in front of POS. After some time, these words you spoke, "So, is there anything fun to do around here?"
I clarified, "In Perth or in Officeworks?"
To this you said, "In Officeworks."
I looked around at the great expanse before me, a place I have become all too familiar with over the last few weeks.
"You can peruse stationery at your leisure. We've got a splendid technology section here in the middle," I said.
You seemed to find this amusing and replied with, "You women always love stationery."
I continued, "And there are label makers in aisle 15 so you can get organized for the new year."
You went on to explain how you are organized in your personal finances and work... but not in life. And somehow, we spent the next five minutes while waiting for your chair (executive: black) talking about your recent divorce but how your 2.5 year old daughter makes up for that catastrophe. I must've said, "You can't plan life!" about three times.
Eventually, the chair came (along with my manager).
"Thank you so much!" you said to me with a charming smile to make a girl melt.
"You're very welcome! Have a lovely evening!" I said, all Officeworks and shit.
You left. I looked at your ass on the way out.
Thank you for coming into Officeworks today. It made my very lonely evening (they only ever put one person on check out after 6pm and for some reason it's always me) somewhat worth it. And thanks to my manager for taking so long with that chair.
J
When I saw you come into work this evening in your fitted red plaid shirt and that face of yours, I thought to myself, "There be a good looking man." To be sure, to be sure, as I gained a closer look, you were indeed a very nice looking person.
You approached me and queried re: a chair you ordered. I called furniture to get it from the back as I continued to drink in your well-chiselled face and fit bod. After some discussion with my manager/person in charge of furniture, I learned that your name was Ali and so that partially explained your Middle Eastern appearance and accent.
Said manager went out back to grab said chair. You stood in front of POS. After some time, these words you spoke, "So, is there anything fun to do around here?"
I clarified, "In Perth or in Officeworks?"
To this you said, "In Officeworks."
I looked around at the great expanse before me, a place I have become all too familiar with over the last few weeks.
"You can peruse stationery at your leisure. We've got a splendid technology section here in the middle," I said.
You seemed to find this amusing and replied with, "You women always love stationery."
I continued, "And there are label makers in aisle 15 so you can get organized for the new year."
You went on to explain how you are organized in your personal finances and work... but not in life. And somehow, we spent the next five minutes while waiting for your chair (executive: black) talking about your recent divorce but how your 2.5 year old daughter makes up for that catastrophe. I must've said, "You can't plan life!" about three times.
Eventually, the chair came (along with my manager).
"Thank you so much!" you said to me with a charming smile to make a girl melt.
"You're very welcome! Have a lovely evening!" I said, all Officeworks and shit.
You left. I looked at your ass on the way out.
Thank you for coming into Officeworks today. It made my very lonely evening (they only ever put one person on check out after 6pm and for some reason it's always me) somewhat worth it. And thanks to my manager for taking so long with that chair.
J
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Hot Water
Remember when I used to give play-by-play recounts of my interactions with F? I swore I would never do it again (well, in my head) with any boy (or girl or primate or amphibian...). Alas.
Today, Potential Officeworks Robber Guy (PORG) was working (in his Officeworks uniform). First, I looked at him (casually) for a while. His face is dopey and this makes me feel less aesthetically inferior. Later in the evening, I asked him if he knew where a certain type of glue stick was (JUST JOKES, I KNEW WHERE IT WAS ALL ALONG) and he was all, "All the glue sticks are in aisle four."
Actually, I take it back. I originally asked another of the nightfillers working in the same aisle as PORG where aforementioned glue stick was. He was unsure (amateur). I knew that PORG would jump in (being new, one feels one needs to prove thyself) and thus I laid my lady trap.
PORG was all too gentlemanly in his vocalization of the location of the glue sticks but I thought a little flippant (obviously he needs to try harder to get with this). Is this end of something new (to the tune of the classic High School Musical song)?
Speaking of guys, I may have met my soul mate at the Nike Factory store in Harbourtown the other day? I went in to return something for my brother (please, like I would actually shop there for myself) and there he was, standing about my height (sadly) but with such an angelic face. I theorize that he was of the Jewish faith (at one point do my generalizations towards Jewish people turn from innocently ignorant to straight up anti-Semitic?) which was potentially consolidated by his name (which I won't put here so he doesn't get stalked, poor child).
Later that day, after Icey Ice (so damn icey), I forced Big Michelle and Little Mishelle to go back to the Nike Factory store so we could "browse." This was the following response:
Big Michelle: Oh my God, can we not? It's UPSTAIRS.
We spent a further five minutes laughing at this. She then said this:
Big Michelle: Well, if we actually had something to buy there then it would be alright to go... Actually, I'm thinking of buying some running clothes.
And later...
Big Michelle: I feel bad. Let's go to Nike.
We went back and hung around the ladies' section (originally, somewhere in men's then we decided it might be less suspicious if we went to an area that catered more for our SEXUALITY). I could not see him.
I said to the girls, "Never have I been so disappointed in my life."
And then, the moment of truth. A culmination of that afternoon's initial thrill coupled with the devastating disappointment of walking into the Nike Factory store the second time.
"Over there are more Nike people," Little Mishelle said, concealing her excitement (or not... We all know Little Mishelle likes to appear hipster and cool at all possible times) under a thin veil of nonchalance. I looked over, a lump in my throat (that's what she said) and there... And there...
He was.
Then we left the Nike Factory store and took an (un)pleasantly hot bus ride home.
J
Today, Potential Officeworks Robber Guy (PORG) was working (in his Officeworks uniform). First, I looked at him (casually) for a while. His face is dopey and this makes me feel less aesthetically inferior. Later in the evening, I asked him if he knew where a certain type of glue stick was (JUST JOKES, I KNEW WHERE IT WAS ALL ALONG) and he was all, "All the glue sticks are in aisle four."
Actually, I take it back. I originally asked another of the nightfillers working in the same aisle as PORG where aforementioned glue stick was. He was unsure (amateur). I knew that PORG would jump in (being new, one feels one needs to prove thyself) and thus I laid my lady trap.
PORG was all too gentlemanly in his vocalization of the location of the glue sticks but I thought a little flippant (obviously he needs to try harder to get with this). Is this end of something new (to the tune of the classic High School Musical song)?
Speaking of guys, I may have met my soul mate at the Nike Factory store in Harbourtown the other day? I went in to return something for my brother (please, like I would actually shop there for myself) and there he was, standing about my height (sadly) but with such an angelic face. I theorize that he was of the Jewish faith (at one point do my generalizations towards Jewish people turn from innocently ignorant to straight up anti-Semitic?) which was potentially consolidated by his name (which I won't put here so he doesn't get stalked, poor child).
Later that day, after Icey Ice (so damn icey), I forced Big Michelle and Little Mishelle to go back to the Nike Factory store so we could "browse." This was the following response:
Big Michelle: Oh my God, can we not? It's UPSTAIRS.
We spent a further five minutes laughing at this. She then said this:
Big Michelle: Well, if we actually had something to buy there then it would be alright to go... Actually, I'm thinking of buying some running clothes.
And later...
Big Michelle: I feel bad. Let's go to Nike.
We went back and hung around the ladies' section (originally, somewhere in men's then we decided it might be less suspicious if we went to an area that catered more for our SEXUALITY). I could not see him.
I said to the girls, "Never have I been so disappointed in my life."
And then, the moment of truth. A culmination of that afternoon's initial thrill coupled with the devastating disappointment of walking into the Nike Factory store the second time.
"Over there are more Nike people," Little Mishelle said, concealing her excitement (or not... We all know Little Mishelle likes to appear hipster and cool at all possible times) under a thin veil of nonchalance. I looked over, a lump in my throat (that's what she said) and there... And there...
He was.
Then we left the Nike Factory store and took an (un)pleasantly hot bus ride home.
J
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Me, Me, Me
I'm sitting around at home on my day off, watching The Two Towers and contemplating getting up to eat some yoghurt.
I'm reading reddit and wishing I was Polish.
I'm feeling hot. It's 37C today, apparently.
I'm sexy and I know it.
J
I'm reading reddit and wishing I was Polish.
I'm feeling hot. It's 37C today, apparently.
I'm sexy and I know it.
J
Friday, January 4, 2013
PolArt
I officially have a huge lady crush on Anna Kendrick and am currently watching 50/50. She is adorable and so likable.
I went to see pole dancing this evening with my mother. Or so I told Big Michelle and she said to me, "Ew, why?" We laughed. Really, I saw this: http://www.polart2012.com.au/main/
Or half of it then we bailed because I have work tomorrow morning and mother got bored. Regardless, I thought the Polish song and dance was fabulous. My favourite parts included:
1. The fact that we were the only two Asians in the whole place and everyone else was probably Polish and were speaking Polish to each other. I love when people are proud and in touch with their nationalities and heritage. It was actually really nice to see.
2. The squat dancing. You know what I'm talking about? The bouncing and the squatting and the jumping. It looked exhausting.
3. The marginally cute Polish guys interspersed with old, fat Polish guys.
4. The squeal screeching by the lady dancers. I can't really describe it but every now and then, one of the lady dancers would let out a really high pitched squeech and I would race to try and find which one did it before the squeech was over.
J
Tufts Beelzebubs - "Teenage Dream" (Katy Perry)
They are singing with their hands and that is my favourite part of this video. The gestures, dear Lord:
J
J
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Make Good Choices
This guy gives me a mad toner: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2799457/
J
Today, at work, I got harassed by this 30-something man wearing a deep-v with a primary schooled aged daughter for not offering him a bag when I sold him his goods.
Potential Robber Guy rocked up in his Officeworks uniform today so now I don't have to worry about the fact I could have potentially allowed the store to be robbed by some Deceivingly Polite Guy.
Tonight, I am watching Pitch Perfect for the third time in... three days and wishing I could sing so I could join an acapella group.
J
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
No Longer New
Technically, I am still new but Officeworks just recruited a whole bunch of new people and it feels so good to be able to boss people around... Bossing is a strong word; I would say educating. Yes, I can spread my knowledge about gift cards and which aisle the display books are in!
The first new girl I met is in her final year of architecture (instant bond; it was just like talking to Little Mishelle), 25 years old and lives with her boyfriend in my suburb. We were talking nicely and I was asking her how long she'd been living out of home with her boyfriend and if it was weird etc. She is a really nice girl, slightly chubby but with a sweet/average face. Suddenly, she says to me, "Oh, speaking of my boyfriend, here he is."
I look over. Standing there is a gorgeous tradie looking guy with such a sweet and wholesome smile/look about him. I was surprised (admittedly) and said, "Nice to meet you," through my shock. He/she reaffirmed my faith in humanity. Sure, I was completely judging based on aesthetics and was thinking to myself, "Damn, what is a guy like him doing with a girl like her." And then I thought, "She's maybe the nicest person I've talked to this week." Assuming he's as nice as her (which was the impression I got), then no hate, appreciate.
The second new girl I met was an Indian girl from Kenya (whose name I forget). She was potentially more shy/quiet than me and you all know my theories about how I am around people more socially awkward than me.
The third person (and the only male) I met was a guy whose name I didn't get. He walked in and I said, "Hi, how's it going?" as I do (being all welcoming and Officeworks and shit). He said, "Hi, this is actually my first shift here. Where should I go?" What followed was me being helpful and Officeworks (that's become an adjective in my personal vernacular, in case you got confused). He wasn't dressed in the Officeworks uniform and after giving him the code for the staff room and him walking off, I said to Indian Girl from Kenya, "Wow, I really hope he was telling the truth."
Thankfully, he did not rob us.
Oh, did I forget to mention said non-uniformed man was completely beautiful?
He was. And I spent the rest of the evening looking at him in a completely unprofessional, non-Officeworks way.
Later on in the evening, Caitlyn and Helen came in and harassed me about white paint so I sicced the manager on them to "assist."
J
The first new girl I met is in her final year of architecture (instant bond; it was just like talking to Little Mishelle), 25 years old and lives with her boyfriend in my suburb. We were talking nicely and I was asking her how long she'd been living out of home with her boyfriend and if it was weird etc. She is a really nice girl, slightly chubby but with a sweet/average face. Suddenly, she says to me, "Oh, speaking of my boyfriend, here he is."
I look over. Standing there is a gorgeous tradie looking guy with such a sweet and wholesome smile/look about him. I was surprised (admittedly) and said, "Nice to meet you," through my shock. He/she reaffirmed my faith in humanity. Sure, I was completely judging based on aesthetics and was thinking to myself, "Damn, what is a guy like him doing with a girl like her." And then I thought, "She's maybe the nicest person I've talked to this week." Assuming he's as nice as her (which was the impression I got), then no hate, appreciate.
The second new girl I met was an Indian girl from Kenya (whose name I forget). She was potentially more shy/quiet than me and you all know my theories about how I am around people more socially awkward than me.
The third person (and the only male) I met was a guy whose name I didn't get. He walked in and I said, "Hi, how's it going?" as I do (being all welcoming and Officeworks and shit). He said, "Hi, this is actually my first shift here. Where should I go?" What followed was me being helpful and Officeworks (that's become an adjective in my personal vernacular, in case you got confused). He wasn't dressed in the Officeworks uniform and after giving him the code for the staff room and him walking off, I said to Indian Girl from Kenya, "Wow, I really hope he was telling the truth."
Thankfully, he did not rob us.
Oh, did I forget to mention said non-uniformed man was completely beautiful?
He was. And I spent the rest of the evening looking at him in a completely unprofessional, non-Officeworks way.
Later on in the evening, Caitlyn and Helen came in and harassed me about white paint so I sicced the manager on them to "assist."
J
Love to Hear Percussion
Pitch Perfect is so pitch perfect. It is like a non-cringey Step Up meets the classic that is Bring It On meets perfect teen cliches all rolled up with a dollop of Rebel Wilson on top.
Oh, Rebel. She had the best quotes in the movie. Finish him like a cheesecake? I don't even like cheesecake but I like that quote.
I also found the lead romantic interest far more tolerable than the guy in Bring It On (Jesse Bradford) although he had the same dorky, brown-hairedness of satirical teen comedies past.
Speaking of Jesse Bradford, these are all the same people to me:
J
Oh, Rebel. She had the best quotes in the movie. Finish him like a cheesecake? I don't even like cheesecake but I like that quote.
I also found the lead romantic interest far more tolerable than the guy in Bring It On (Jesse Bradford) although he had the same dorky, brown-hairedness of satirical teen comedies past.
Speaking of Jesse Bradford, these are all the same people to me:
J
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Nigellissima
Nigella!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2192015/Nigella-Lawson-shows-incredible-weight-loss-figure-hugging-black-outfit.html
She looks so wonderful. Not that she wasn't beautiful before but I think this is a healthy move for her.
I'm about to watch the first episode of her new Italian centred show, Nigellissima, because I heard her two kids (Bruno and Mimi) are in it and I'm dying to see them after so long. I bet they're even more grown up. Also, I just think she's wonderful and her food is always appetising looking despite the fact her "cooking" occasionally borders on "reheating" or "mixing."
I love that family a lot.
J
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2192015/Nigella-Lawson-shows-incredible-weight-loss-figure-hugging-black-outfit.html
She looks so wonderful. Not that she wasn't beautiful before but I think this is a healthy move for her.
I'm about to watch the first episode of her new Italian centred show, Nigellissima, because I heard her two kids (Bruno and Mimi) are in it and I'm dying to see them after so long. I bet they're even more grown up. Also, I just think she's wonderful and her food is always appetising looking despite the fact her "cooking" occasionally borders on "reheating" or "mixing."
I love that family a lot.
J
Last Night
1. Was privvy to the most insane of Big Michelle's voluptuous dancing.
2. Ate soy/tofu based Oreo ice cream and lived to tell the tale.
3. Ate chocolate coconut balls with biscuits I did not crush sufficiently.
4. Trapped a spider with a toilet roll.
5. Watched five minutes of frankly terrifying Moulin Rouge.
6. Found a blister on my right elbow?!
7. Discussed the appropriateness of tattoos on the male physique. Surprisingly, Little Mishelle and I came to agree that a full sleeve is perfectly acceptable/attractive? She surprises me.
8. Discussed "the window."
7. Oh, and this morning I nearly snorted a little spider up my nose. Fo' real.
J
2. Ate soy/tofu based Oreo ice cream and lived to tell the tale.
3. Ate chocolate coconut balls with biscuits I did not crush sufficiently.
4. Trapped a spider with a toilet roll.
5. Watched five minutes of frankly terrifying Moulin Rouge.
6. Found a blister on my right elbow?!
7. Discussed the appropriateness of tattoos on the male physique. Surprisingly, Little Mishelle and I came to agree that a full sleeve is perfectly acceptable/attractive? She surprises me.
8. Discussed "the window."
7. Oh, and this morning I nearly snorted a little spider up my nose. Fo' real.
J
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