On and Poppin'

If I have a son I shall name him Maximillian IV so everyone will think he is royalty. They will ask, "So your husband's name is Maximillian?" and I may answer with, "No, my name is Maximillian," or with, "There are no other Maximillians in my family." It's funnier this way. I can confuse them then steal their purse/belongings/car/children while they scratch their heads.

In my ongoing documentation (not really) of my OCD habits, thus far I have:

1. Stared at some messy (to me, anyway) whiteout in my brand spankin' new diary. It has macarons on it. I abhor macarons mostly for what they represent and ever so slightly for how they taste (sticky and stickily sweet). They represent excess (have you seen the price of almond meal lately? Bloody hell, never will I make another flourless chocolate cake ever again even though it's like eating heaven) and hipsterisms ("Ooh! Look at my macaron! I bought it for $20 000 from Jean Pierre Yo Momma. Masterchef? No, I've never heard of Masterchef. I bought this here macaron because I was just idly strolling past in my big, slouchy, grandpa sweater and Raybans and glanced into the shop and saw this delightful little morsel of delight and decided to try it. Boy, is it great!*&234jrhdsf").

2. Stared at a line of loose thread from where I'd unpicked a line of thread that I'd sewn on a long sleeved t-shirt. It was $5 from Jay Jays so obviously I bought it even thought it was a size too large and looked like something purple and made of cotton had vommed all over me. So much cleave, friends. Every time I sat down, babies being pushed past me would lean in reflexively for a suckle. I had to dart away before they stole the milk specially reserved for my future spawn. This morning I took it in a few inches but then I messed up the sleeve and had to unpick leading to angry seam-ripping and some holey-holes (not really but loosened material, you know what I'm talking about) and lots of aggravated staring/swearing. Now, every five minutes, I'm darting to my room to stare at the loosened material and hold it up to the sun and sign mournfully.

So that's basically what's been happening up in here. Absolutely fabulous (ab-fabulous), totally rufus ep of New Girl on last night. Even though I've watched all these episodes multiple times on the internet a few weeks ago, I'm still watching them on TV anyway. Chut-e-ney! Mango chut-e-ney! Mos' def.

It's on and poppin' up in here.

J