My Parents

My parents hate each other. On several occasions, I have had to hold my mother while she literally wept in my arms. My dad is filled with so much anger and he doesn't talk to anyone about how he is feeling or his problems. Every conversation they have somehow turns into an argument. They find reasons to be mad at each other. My mother feels demeaned, I have no idea what my dad is feeling.

I have seen this throughout my childhood and teenage years. I have never seen them hug except when one of them is going overseas. Even then, I suspect it is just because there are other people around in the airport and it is expected. I have never seen them kiss. I have seen them hold hands maybe twice.

I want them both to be happy because I love them so much. I told my mother today as she cried that things could improve. I could talk to dad. Maybe if he had someone to talk to about how he's feeling, we would be able to work on things. But, even as I was saying this, I understood that this is very unlikely to happen.

I don't want them to separate or divorce but, at the same time, I think maybe it would be best for both of them. I talked about it with my mother today and she told me she doesn't know what she wants and that she's scared of the idea. I'm scared too. I don't want them to be alone. I don't want to be staying with one parent and know the other is alone in their house. I don't want my parents to grow old alone. I don't want to worry that one parent might not be eating properly or looking after themselves. I don't want one parent to come home to an empty home after work.

J