Taylor

There was a moment. My heart started racing as the lights changed and we all knew she was about to come out on stage. There were so many screams and yelps and unnatural sounds coming from the audience.

The next second, she was there.

I couldn't believe she was real and not just a figment of my imagination. She was, in the words of "Sparks Fly," "close enough to touch" but not quite. At her closest, she was probably 5-10m away. I couldn't believe she was standing there and real and wearing her gold, flappy dress.

I felt completely overwhelmed. It was just so strange, wonderful but strange and unbelievable. I could see the hairs on her arms glinting in the stage lights. I could see real strands of her hair. I could see her fringe start to get clumpy as the night went out and the sweat and oil on her face increased. I could see her red lipstick and the black boots that she's had for so long. I saw the purple halter dress I've seen on youtube so many times as she sang "Dear John" or her acoustic/ukelele version of "Fearless."

It brought me to tears.

She sung so beautifully. I know I rag on her singing abilities quite a lot, especially for a fan, but she really does sing beautifully. She has either gotten a lot better or she just sounds better actually live rather than live over the internet. Her voice has a beautiful quality. She can sing strongly but delicately at the same time.

It was like being deaf for my whole life then suddenly being able to hear. It's nothing like listening to her album or on youtube. There were these nuances and tones in her voice that I had never heard before. They were all perfect.

For me, hearing her sing live gave a whole new meaning to so many of the songs and lyrics. I could hear her emotion in the songs. I've always liked "Last Kiss" but hearing her sing it and seeing the emotion in her face was just so amazing and I found myself crying and swept up in the moment.

Even as she sang "Better Than Revenge," which has never been one of my favourite songs, the line, "She's not a saint and she's not what you think, she's an actress," just struck a new chord with me. It might have been acting but I saw this passion and feeling in Taylor and in her voice and the words and song just meant something more to me than a typical, cliched bitch-revenge song.

I have watched so many youtube videos of her that I have basically memorized her face and her mannerisms. I can tell you how her mouth moves as she sings certain lines in "Fearless." I can tell you the moment she's going to raise her hands in her heart salute. Seeing it all in front of me was so surreal.

Seeing her "Mean" costume in person, seeing her perfect side-braid, seeing her weird red leather bandage dress for "Better Than Revenge." It was so wonderful and amazing and bizarre.

Seeing Caitlin and Liz and Grant and Amos and even that one bodyguard I've seen so many times was so incredible. They were so close, guys. That one blonde dancer I saw on some of Taylor's pictures blog; I always thought to myself, "Who is this stranger bitch?" because I'd never seen her in any of Taylor's video blogs. She was beautiful and did a short ballet performance before Enchanted. Liz was adorable and sweet and perfect. Caitlin and Liz's synchronized dance moves were amazing.

As for Taylor, she is the most beautiful person I've ever seen. I will always have "the look on her face in the back of my mind." Even from a distance and through many heads, I could see how clear and beautiful her blue eyes were and how perfect her skin was and the hair. It looked so soft and perfect. The first hair shake/toss/flip literally electrified me. It was crazy! I didn't expect the hair toss to be so insane but it was, she put her whole body into it and her hair went every direction. It messed up her fringe completely but I loved that she went for it anyway and didn't give a shit.

My legs were killing me by the end and I thought I might fall over but I didn't and it was 100% worth it. I love Taylor so much and I know this won't be the last time I see her. I can't wait to see what she puts out next and my only regret is that I didn't get to see the Fearless tour which was amazing.

Every time I just think about last night and think about Taylor I start to cry. I don't know why I was so emotional about it and still am given I don't consider myself an overly-emotional person. I think part of it is I never expected to see her in real life so it was an incredible privilege to see her in the flesh.

I just can't believe that this is the same person I've been watching and loving for years from across the world. I can't believe this is the person who was in "You Belong With Me" with Lucas Till and up there with Kanye and dueting with Zac and being perfect and sparkly and amazing and inspirational and beautiful. I love her so much. I just love her with my whole heart. She is so wonderful, guys.

J