Isn't There Some Song About Closure?

I feel it is my duty to update you on the ongoing story of me and a certain man-boy named F. It's obviously "over" but I feel some sort of strong pull, some desire to just share.

Today. It was a day of closure. Maybe just for me because he probably has never noticed anything suss about my behaviours towards him in the past (except maybe during the peak of my loin-thirst for him except he probably thought I just had some sort of mental health issue).

I was idly sitting down in a NS lecture with Renee (that's pronounced REE-KNEE obviously) when I see this familiar blonde boy sidling down the aisle with his back to me, talking to some friend. I see it is F. I freak the fuck out because I'm awkward and didn't say hi to him even when we had a nutrition lab together a few weeks back. He goes to sit down in the seat one away from mine but then moves down to sit next to me.

There's a period of silence. I pretend to be talking to REE-KNEE and turn away slightly. I realize I'm being an idiot. I have to man-up. I have to grow up. I say quite confidently and loudly enough so there will be no question I am talking to him, "Haven't seen you in a while."

He turns and smiles to me. He is sporting a bit of scruff (who is he trying to impress here?). I see those blue eyes, the ones that used to drive me wild. But now, I see the blue eyes of a friend.

"Har har," he laughs charmingly. "Well, we aren't in the same FCP group anymore."
"Yes," I agree because this much is obvious.

He goes on to tell me a charming anecdote of stumbling home hungover after Australia Day and bumping into our past FCP tutor having lunch with his girlfriend and how he didn't recognize Niyi (out tutor) at first and thought to himself, "Wow, he looks so familiar." But they went on to have a lovely conversation.

Much like the one I had with F today.

It was brief. But it helped me to appreciate what a hilarious and wonderful experience I had with that boy (except without him knowing... okay, so mostly it was a hilarious and wonderful experience with myself... in my head). I'm glad that it happened and I'm glad that we can be friends.

The end.

J