Post Secret

So, basically the greatest post that has ever been on ontd: http://ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com/67029318.html

Thanks to Big Michelle for alerting me to thing. We exchanged post secrets, me and her, for a good 20 minutes last night. I thought that, in honour of that, I would share some here and, in honour of that, you could comment with one of your own. In the interest of knowing each other more intimately than we already do. Because intimate is good. Just ask your mum.

1. I'm incredibly clumsy and careless (except compared to Kim). We have these photo frames hung up next to the dining table. Within a week of each other, I walked past and managed to break two...

2. I've had one near death experience. My family and I were hiking in a national park in China. You can imagine the safety regulations aren't very good there. It was near a waterfall and river so all the stones and footpaths were really slippery and mossy. I stupidly stepped onto a slopey part and nearly fell 20m into a rocky lake underneath the waterfall. I twisted my ankle and my dad grabbed me just in time.

Once, I was standing on the back of a golf cart in Malaysia. We were stationary so I wasn't holding on then the family friends I were with suddenly drove off super quickly (crazy Asians) and I grabbed on just in time. That probably doesn't count as near death but that was seriously scary

3. I went through a phase of hating my dad for no good reason from ages 13-14. The sound of his breathing would frustrate me to the point where I had to leave the room. The thing was, I thought he was a great guy but he seemed so obnoxious to me.

4. I just shared this one with Big Michelle but sometimes I think of (seriously) critical and mean things about people when I'm with them or when I'm facebook stalking them and I imagine I accidentally say them or type a mean comment and I freak out. I have to log out of facebook or I get really tongue-tied if I'm speaking to them in person.

5. I used to play kiss-chasy with this boy in pre-primary to the point where his mother told me to stop. Obviously, I was sexually developed at a very young age. I never got that kiss. My family still makes fun of me for this. Most of you probably know this boy.

6. I once saw Caitlin Stasey in person when I went to a screening of Tomorrow When the War Began. She was really small and kept grabbing the heel of her boot as she stood at the front.

7. Big Michelle kept kicking my folder which was on the ground in our FCP tute today and it made me really anxious because it's unhygienic. I didn't say anything but I kept looking at her disgusting foot touching my folder. I think she noticed because she stopped after that.

8. My biggest fear is going deaf.

9. My family has a history of going blind and serious eye problems. My dad's brother has a disease that made him blind over several years. He divorced his wife and moved to some small town and stopped seeing his kids. He became severely depressed. I don't really know what happened after that. I think it's ongoing.

10. My dad has 20 siblings, four stepmothers and (obviously) one real mother. Most of his siblings were given to relatives or put up for adoption. He never knew his real mother who left with one of her daughters when he was young.

11. My dad's dad used to beat his wives and children.

12. In year seven or eight, we had this youngish, good looking phys-ed teacher who we shall call Mr. Time. There was this girl called Renee who let's just say was very developed for her age. Once, she went up to him and pushed her boobs out in his face. He just looked at them with this smile on his face. I was like, "Caught, son," except not.

13. In year 11 maths class, my period bled through my pants and got EVERYWHERE. On my shirt, on my chair and, as you can imagine, all over my pants. I was completely traumatized and wrapped my jumper around my waist and got my friends to stand around me as we left the school. That same year, I basically bled all over my chair in economics. I thought my period had finished but you know how it can sneak up on you sometimes? Yeah, so that happened. I waddled to the bathroom, cleaned myself up and somehow managed to secretly clean my chair.

14. I basically get a huge crush on any boy that pays any attention to me.

15. I am secretly scared of my nether regions and have never used a tampon. I have this fear that I'll use one and when I try to take it out the string will break off and I'll have a tampon stuck in me and I'll have to stick my hand up there to get it out. It scares the fuck out of me.

16. This is like the 14th edit because I keep thinking of secrets to write. When I was in primary school (like year two or three) before I was friends with Little Mishelle, I was on the playground. There was this slide thing except it was just made out of two beams that you hooked your legs around and slid down. I had one hand on one of the beams and was sort of leaning there, chatting to a friend (if year twos actually chat with friends...) and I didn't see Little Mishelle go down the slide and apparently she didn't see me because she slid right into my arm. Like, her crotch area slid into my arm really hard. I think I bruised her cooter because next thing she's hopping around and clutching her vaginal area. I was like, "Oh my fucking God," and felt so bad. I didn't say anything. This is the first time I've ever written/said it but this memory has haunted me for all these years

That's all for now.

J