The Neighbour's Kid

The neighbour has a kid. Well, he has two kids but I will mainly focus on the older child. A boy in year two. He has a name that I will not divulge on here and you will soon see why.

See, the neighbour's kid is what I call a "psychopath." He puts on this eerily deep voice whenever he talks. I know it's not his natural voice because no boy of that age has a voice that deep. He makes it purposefully gruff and as manly as possible. He once stole the pruning knife my mum was using to weed the garden with when she went to get something from the shed. Do I want to know what he subsequently did with that knife? Well, yes. But I imagine he probably buried it in his backyard so that the dog of the next family who lives in that house will dig it up and have his face cut open, not unlike the Joker.

They will call the dog Joker. Because he got his face cut up, not unlike the Joker. It makes sense if you think about it.

Choosing other weird shit that this kid has done is difficult because there's so many choices. I was once taking a semi-nap/resting on my bed. Suddenly, a voice right outside my window in a creepy, deep voice said, "Hello!"
Naturally, I was startled and counteracted with a high pitched, "Hello?"

It was the kid. He ran off. I was scarred for life. What if I had been changing? Sometimes, I change with my window open but I hide around the corner so no one can actually see me from the window. But sometimes, whilst putting my tight jeans on, I will fall over and subsequently fall into view from my window open. This is a dangerous practice but hell, it is my house and people really shouldn't be looking in my bedroom window.

Except this kid thinks it's okay to peep into women's bedroom windows (notice how I refer to myself as a woman because that's what I am now).

I have watched numerous episodes of Criminal Minds and believe this kid to be a psychopath. He's like that kid in that episode who forced a model aeroplane down his little brother's throat. The little brother then died. The BAU saved the day... except the little brother was already dead so they technically didn't save anyone. I fear for the sister of my neighbour's kid. She seems like a sweet girl and I hear him bossing her around constantly. Should I set up a telescope that looks into their house to ensure he does not shove model aeroplanes down her throat when his parents aren't watching? I think that would be wise and very legal.

The neighbour's kid also has a mini golf set. He once sent a golf ball flying as hard as he could into our yard. Its trajectory very nearly encountered our window. I am concerned for my safety and everyone who lives on my street's safety. I feel this calls for a Neighbourhood Watch meeting entitled "The Neighbour's Kid: Should we be worried?" I will provide the snacks and will also employ people to keep the kid occupied whilst we decide how to best handle this very volatile situation.

Please pray for me.

J