Uphill

Great Friendquest 2013 day.

I went to the Lookout Pancake Day stall which is run by med kids. Usually, I try to avoid things run by med kids even if it's a bakesale or something I would seriously struggle to resist. This is because I don't know whether to acknowledge that I recognize them and I fear that they will recognize me (or not recognize me) and it'll just be a hot mess. But I went today and I had a short chat with the female year rep from last year and exchanged introductions with one of the popular guys in our year.

It was great. And I didn't feel anxious at any point (mostly because Laura was there with me). And I ate pancakes. They were fluffy and chocolate-chippy. I topped them with maple syrup, Nutella and two banana slices even though they were chocolate chip pancakes because that's just the sort of person I am.

I swallowed my guttural instinct to run and hide when I walked into the lecture theatre foyer before the lecture today. I went up to Chloe, a girl I've become decent friends with in my FCP tute, and Jade, a very tall person, and we talked for 10 minutes before the lecture started. I kind of just let my mouth run and it was fine. It was really freaking fine.

Speaking of Chloe, she's actually one of the coolest people I've met this year. She has this quiet confidence, she lets silences happen and doesn't feel the need to fill them. It's clear that she doesn't feel awkward either. She just has this great ownership of who she is and doesn't really give a fuck about what other people think of her. I mean, she got on the floor in the lecture theatre (in a dress) to demonstrate to me how rowing worked. I love it.

After the lectures, I took the bus home with Chris (someone who I haven't mentioned on this blog in a really long time). We went to the city together because I had to return my cardigan and he had to go to the Apple store. We basically talked about fashion for an hour and he came with me when I went to return the cardigan (against my silent wishes). If he hadn't been there, I would have milled around and found something to exchange the cardigan with. But because he was with me, I felt really self-conscious about my choices and the fact that I'd bought something from Valleygirl in the first place!

Back to my cardigan. They wouldn't give me a refund! Even though one sleeve was clearly shorter than the other and that is a faulty garment in my eyes. I'm pretty pissed because now I have a store credit note that expires in a couple of months.

By the end of this exchange, I was actually feeling pretty uncomfortable having Chris there. I kind of just wanted to be alone. Again, talking to people who aren't my best friends is pretty tiring for me. I just wanted to get a new cardigan, get on a bus, stuff my earholes with my earplugs and tune out. I (tried to) politely disengage and go home.

It worked. The going home part. Not sure if it was all that polite...

J