Creepy and Desperate

Apparently, the work roster was completely changed since I last took photographic evidence of it (contrary to popular belief, it's not because I'm a stalker and like to know when R's on. Okay, partly that. But mostly because I like being definitely sure of when I'm rostered on. If I have photographic proof and rock up at the wrong time, at least I can show them that and say, "Not my fault, bitches." I also like to know who's on at the same time as me as I like to cater my social prowess to the situation).

How do I know this? Because I walked in and there was R over at print & copy. He was bending over so I all I saw was that shock of black hair and the stupid glasses. My heart broke into a million pieces. JUST JOKES. It didn't. I'm rarely that dramatic in real life.

I didn't talk to him at all today as we didn't share any breaks. But I did make an announcement over the PA directed at print & copy at some point. I was looking over at him and he looked up when I made the announcement. We made eye contact and shared a smile. It was fucking enchanting.

In other news, the hottest guy came in today. He was tall, ruggedly handsome and wearing a leather motorcycle jacket. As you  know, guys who ride motorcycles are my new favourite kind (besides half Caucasian, half Indonesian-Chinese slackers). As he walked past, I looked at my bud, Z, and raised my eyebrows. She started laughing all too raucously and Motorcycle Man looked back. I bet he's used to thousands of girls lusting after him so hopefully he did not care.

I've been reading reddit. Yes, I have been. Specifically, the dating advice subreddit and the askmen subreddit. WHY AM I SO FUCKING SAD. No question mark because it's rhetorical. I don't want a response. The point is, I was reading topics like "What do guys think about girls who ask guys out?"

The thing is, after I semi asked Zeter Febbs out (actually, I didn't. But that's the way it was perceived so let's leave it at that), most of my shame came from the fact that I assumed he thought I was super desperate and disgusting. Some ugly bitch who couldn't get asked out herself so she resorted to begging guys for dates.

And then I started reading reddit (it's like a black hole. A black, black hole) and all the responses to that question were positive. Guys thought it was great! It showed confidence! It was sexy! More girls should do it!

AND NOW ALL I WANT TO DO IS ASK R OUT. But it's not going to happen because I have to see him every week. Sometimes I'm half tempted to leave a note in his locker professing my feelings. But I think this is worse and it's bordering on creepy and desperate.

Which is so obviously not me.

J