She Got Me Gone

I dipped into the Beyonce/Destiny's Child corner of Spotify last night. The best decision I made yesterday. Then it occurred to me, "Wow, I haven't listened to "Dilemma" in a really, really long time." And that's how I ended up listening to "Dilemma" (and its inferior sequel, "Gone") on repeat for two hours.

On a separate note, Farmers' Union Greek yoghurt is the thickest, most luscious yoghurt in the world. It kicks Chobani, texture-wise, in the uterus any day. Sadly, it's limited to three flavours, as far as I can see. Happily, one of those flavours is blueberry. I do love a berry that is blue.

I finished reading the Jessica Darling series last night (I skipped the last half of the fourth book out of a mixture of sorrow and boredom). This series is very, very good despite what I said about the fourth book. Very rarely do you get to follow characters for many years. In this case, from young teenage years to young adult years. It's depressing and interesting at the same time.

I would go as far as to say that the Jessica Darling series is the best YA series I've ever read. It's very unique in that it isn't all fluff. The characters are so different that they surpass hipsterish individuality. They move into "epic" territory. And by "epic," I am referring to the Veronica and Logan thing. Jessica Darling and Marcus Flutie aren't just your typical Mia Thermopolis and Michael Moscovitz characters. They surpass time and physical boundaries. They stick with you and you cling to them. They are my new Cathy Dollanganger (nee Dollanganger) and Chris Dollanganger. They are so different to what you read.

I have the utmost respect and admiration for Megan McCafferty because she has written a series of books that has not only captivated (I assume) thousands of teenage girls but included so many themes that you never see in YA books and written in a way that I have never read in YA.

I am not saying it is my favourite YA series (that honour would have to go to the Mediator series) but it really is very special and worth your while.

It's my first exam tomorrow. Whoop, I'm done by Thursday. Wednesday should be interesting; I have not studied for Thursday's exam at all and plan on cramming it all on Wednesday. That being said, it's FCP which is a notoriously easy unit. Well, easy enough to cram for in one day. The clinical skills part of it is not always so easy... Maybe it is the exam stress talking but it occurred to me just now that I kind of assumed I'd get married one day. Even though I said a little while ago that maybe marriage isn't in the cards for me because it doesn't seem to work out that great for anyone, I meant that I still want a "life partner" or whatever.

Basically, I meant that I intend to live in sin with someone until the day I die and have their/our children and, if they should ever leave me and are richer, I want half their money. I just don't want to get married. So, that's nice because then my parents don't have to spend a shittonne of money on my wedding. Which is a ridiculous concept in itself (as much as marriage is) because, first of all, it is preposterous to spend upwards of $20k on a glorified party. It's a party, people. It's like food; once you've had it, it's gone. You can't use it twice. It's not a sweater.

Second of all, it's ridiculous that parents are expected to pay for half if not all of the wedding. Parents are old (well, most of them) by the time their children get married. They should be saving for retirement or saving their money if they're already retired, not paying for their kid's glorified party (the cake is worth it though).

There is no third point. I wish there was because three is a nice number for a number of points but there is no third point. I guess I kind of have a third point. My unofficial third point is (and the original point I was trying to get to before I got distracted) ... what if I never find myself a life partner to live in sin with until the day we die, clutching each other to our breasts and whispering words like, "We will be together again in our dreams," and other similarly cliched but altogether romantic things? And who will I have children with? Myself? I wish because I'm fucking fantastic but, as far as my Western medical education has taught me, that's not possible. Fuck.

I know the whole charade is, "Oh, you'll find someone one day when you least expect it! Much less attractive people than you are married and have kids!" but lezbe honest with ourselves for a second. I'm not much of a socially outgoing person, much preferring the company of books, TV and internet to that of actual human beings. And our teenage and young adult years are the ones in which most are most social.

Time is slipping away from me. I'm only going to become more antisocial as time passes. I'm already planning on buying some really large pieces of clothing to obscure whatever child-birthing anatomy I might possibly possess (not much. I may have mammary glands but can't tell so far) and invest in a good rocking chair.

TIME IS RUNNING OUT.

Who am I going to fight in my custody battle when my life partner whom I was initially living in sin with splits up with me? Who? Tell me?

It's not like I go out of my way to find boys to procreate with. In fact, I do the opposite. If I'm interested in someone, I do everything in my ability to not have them know that I am interested in having them ejaculating in me. So, what's going to change that will lead me to finding a life partner to live in sin with? Me? Because I'm not a very changeable person. Therefore, from past events and general observations on my character, the current trajectory suggests that I am destined for loneliness and > three dogs (my initial desired number of dogs) and no children. No children.

Let's not let these mammary glands go to waste. Please.

J