University is meant to be one of the best times of your life. My university experience is certainly not meeting this expectation (I honestly believed I was going to turn into some kind of social butterfly once I entered those hallowed UWA halls. That could not be further from the truth) and it sucks.
But besides that, my dad keeps saying that completing a medical degree, regardless of whether you become a doctor, is a great asset to your resume. Great, can't wait to pad out my resume with six freaking years of slaughter. This shit is draining the life out of me and I don't know whether it's worth it.
So, I'm back here again. Contemplating leaving, contemplating staying. Last night, I decided, "Screw it all. I'm leaving med." By this morning, I'd managed to convince myself to stay.
I want this internal argument that has been raging in my head for the last semester to just stahp. It's a nuisance. It's painful for me to feel so uncertain about everything. I keep thinking of the consequences; what if I leave and start something I hate? What if I leave and instantly regret it but can't return? What if I can't get a job? What if it all goes to waste? What if I only graduate at 28 or something ridiculous?
I keep thinking to myself, "Life is too short to do this." Life is short but who's to say that the other side of the fence really will be greener? How am I to know?
All of these questions and no one can answer them but me.
J
About Me
- Junaberry
- I'm a student from Australia who used to have a lot of time on her hands but doesn't have that much anymore. Now she has other stuff on her hands.
3 comments:
I don't think that having a medical degree on your resume is worth another 3 years of your life doing something you hate. Resume smeshume.
Do what YOU find interesting/fun/exciting! Maybe it might be worth having a chat to some of the career people at uni? Can't hurt, they might be able to point you in the direction of something you like more, or reassure you that being a doctor is nothing like med school/it gets better/you might like it.
Either way it might make you feel a little better?
Sending you mass internet hugs and I hope exams are going ok
Meg
yeah i really want to speak to the career counsellor but just never get around to it... is that my subconscious talking?
i don't know if it's my fear of the hospital setting and fear of fucking up and fear of getting grilled by consultants that is putting me off continuing my studies. i know i shouldn't let "the fear of the unknown/hospital/doctors" discourage me but i don't think i'll ever be comfortable in a medical environment so why shouldn't i let the fear discourage me? do i want a job that makes me continuously anxious? do i want to do 3 years more of a uni course that gives me heart palpitations?
I think you really needa chat to a career counsellor! And I think a little bit of anxiety when thinking about working in a clinical setting/screwing up is normal, but if you’re constantly freaking out about it then that sucks :(
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