I'm Not Josie Grosie!

The two for $10 leggings I bought for jogging last week are literally FALLING APART AT THE SEAMS. I'm so pressed right now. How is one supposed to jog in an efficient manner if they fear that, at any second, parts of their body they reserve for gynecological exams (if I ever actually get one, YOLO) will be exposed to God and all the other schmucks out there?

Speaking of jogging, it's going well. Thanks for asking. I have officially graduated to the next stage in my Couch to 5K plan (90 seconds jogging, two minutes walking. I know; extremity). In my worldly wisdom, I have decided I'm going to sign up for a marathon (I use that term without much background knowledge. I thought marathons were ridiculous lengths like 45K or some shit and ain't no way I'm doing that). I'm thinking the HBF Run For a Reason or the City to Surf as these give me sufficient time to train/not embarrass myself. I'm thinking I should also invest in leggings that don't double as fishnet stockings.

In the same vein, some goals for this year have been coursing through my mind for the last couple of days. Embrace:

1. Run a marathon (or at least a 10K).

2. Join the writers' club. If it doesn't happen this semester, I can comfortably call myself the biggest coward in the world.

3. Buy real jeans. No, not the $14.95 Frolick Green ones or some $10 travesty. Real jeans from a reputable store. So what if they're on sale for $20 (apparently, this never happens but a girl can dream)?!

4. Get a tattoo. I don't know, guys. I'm feeling the feels and two girls at work have amazing tatts and you know how hardcore I am (just see how I used the abbreviation "tatts" instead of the full word). I feel I need some sort of physical embodiment of my hardness for all the world to see. I'm thinking an outline of Taylor's hair on my ankle or something similarly attractive.

6. Go to med dinner.

7. Stop being Josie Grosie.

8. Reduce my meat intake. More because I can and it's supposed to be good for the environment etc. I'm getting increasingly picky about what types of meat I eat. I actually like (certain types of) meat a lot but I also rediscovered the joy of cooking and I'm generally too lazy to cook meat. Hence the (amazing) bean burgers I made yesterday. I'm not even going to try to be modest; they are so freaking delicious and I'm eating another one for lunch today. The secret? A shit tonne of curry powder.

There are other things on my mind but I forget them. This list may be updated later (or compressed into: 1. Achieve world record for most soft serves consumed).

J