First Daze

Whilst riding in Kim's car on the way home after an amazing evening tea party, I was suddenly hit with this intense feeling of nostalgia intermingled with melancholy. I felt so separated from these people I hold so closely and dearly to my heart in a way that cannot be fixed. Like we're all going down these different paths, to different universities, careers, homes, livelihoods and futures. But yesterday, we were all sitting together in homeroom and were so "present" with no perceptible future in the distance. In the words of Ed Sheeran and Taylor Swift, "everything has changed."

Today is the beginning of our third year of university and Kim's 20th birthday. Can you believe it? I feel so incredibly old, like the years are passing by without respecting the space-time continuum.

I felt so good today in terms of being social and friendly. I think it's because I gave this boy a dollar at the bus port. He asked me for bus money so I gave him what coin I had. He said, "I hope you have a really, really great day. Thank you." I don't know if he really wanted bus money or just wanted money in general but I think that sentiment helped me.

Next, I helped this girl (clearly her first day of uni ever) find the right bus stop. She said thank you profusely and I smiled.

I took the bus to med campus. I've only been to the main lecture theatre once and couldn't quite remember where it was. As I got off, I asked another girl if she knew where it was. She said she was heading in that direction and we walked there together. We talked; she was in third year as well, studying pharmacology. I said, "By the way, my name is Junaberry," and she said, "Nice to meet you. I'm Ros." It was exquisite, introductions being one of my greatest fears. We walked and talked all the way to the lecture theatre and I felt confident and sociable throughout.

When I got there, I walked into this incredibly crowded lecture theatre. It was literally bursting at the seams and I couldn't see anyone I knew well with a spare seat next to them. Desperately and with my heart in my throat, I walked up the stairs and sat next to this random GEMP (he had a beard too) who was sitting next to this guy I knew from Aboriginal Health and FCP tutes.

There's usually a point during my social interactions when I'm not loud enough in saying hello or making my presence known and then it slides into this awkwardness where people don't acknowledge or realize I'm there. I'm like a slip of a shadow. But today, I said hello rather loudly to the people sitting in that vicinity. I introduced myself to the GEMP and talked to the others about our holidays.

It was fucking fantastic.

This evening, we had a tea party in honour of Kim's birthday next to a dirty lake like the derro kids we are. She went all out and I was flabbergasted and impressed and filled with so much love for her. She's a wonderful person. I feel it from the bottom of my heart; I want her to be happy. Just continuously. Everyday, I want her to smile and enjoy peaceful and joyful moments. I want to know her forever and for our kids to be best friends.

Happy birthday, Kimmy.

J