In other news pertaining to last night (I've never had so much to write about at 8.30am), my grandpa pissed in the shower. My brother was in the toilet. It was around 11.30pm and my grandpa stumbled out of bed, saw the closed toilet door, went into the bathroom and took a fucking piss in the shower.
My grandpa, being 91 this year, tends to have no control over the aim of his stream of consciousness/piss. This results in a lot of piss everywhere. I avoid inviting people over to my house at this time of year because it means they either have to use a piss-infested toilet and step in a lot of piss to take their own piss or I have to clean the toilet and I have avoided entering the toilet for a solid 1.5 months now.
I did not see this go down but my brother came to me a few minutes later and informed me of the facts. We went to inspect the shower. There was (quite a lot) of piss by the shower.
"Did he rinse out the shower?"
"No."
"Motherf-" Please note: I was not calling my grandpa a motherfucker. I was generally exclaiming on how horrific this situation was.
I took a closer look, planning my angle of attack. It was then I noticed the marks in the piss... The tread on the soles of my grandpa's slippers. I am fully aware that my grandpa is constantly walking in his own piss in the toilet and therefore tracking it throughout the whole house but, without visual evidence of this, I have chosen to ignore it. It was un-ignorable now. The evidence was clear. I saw the footprints exiting the shower and entering my grandpa's room.
"Get me paper towels," I said to my brother, all business. He did as I said. The next few minutes were pretty hectic.
"You're spreading it!" my brother kept saying.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP," I yelled back at him. "We have to rinse out the shower."
"Why?"
I ignored this question and rinsed out the shower with all my might. I threw the paper towels out, sighed to myself then scrubbed my hands with hand soap into oblivion.
To end this pleasant anecdote, I also found shit in the shower the other day. I'm trying not to think about it (now you can).
J
About Me
- Junaberry
- I'm a student from Australia who used to have a lot of time on her hands but doesn't have that much anymore. Now she has other stuff on her hands.
2 comments:
.....in the SHOWER? Freakin old people.
You’re welcome to come use my non piss covered facilities anytime, bb x
Found poop on the floor the other day. Changed my cats food so she decided to protest by shitting on herself. Spent 20 minutes with a box of wet ones cleaning her butt while she made ungodly noises. My life is thrilling.
(this is Meg bte in case the mention of a cat didn’t give it away...)
HOLY SHIT. YOU HAD TO CLEAN YOUR CAT'S ASS/HOLE. that is gold.
and cats' poo stinks more than most right? you poor girl.
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