Rectal Application

So, there's a question in this week's anatomy lab about what anatomical difference explains the differences in metabolism of paracetamol for oral versus rectal application.

Since when do we have rectal paracetamol application? Do we shove the pill up there? NO BUENO.

J

Lasagne

I love lasagne.

The other day at cadaver lab, so many people had their books and things just flung all over the dissecting table, on these damp cloths they use to cover the cadavers. I was like, "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? YOU WILL ALL GET CREUTZFELDT JAKOB DISEASE. ALL OF YOU. DON'T TOUCH ME."

Still searching for that person who put his dirty gloved hand on my back while we were standing around, listening to a demonstrator explain something. I seriously suspect it was one of my friends because who would actually do that to someone they didn't know? Then again, it's obvious these people have no concept of hygiene or personal space or logic.

Also, This Means War is potentially Oscar material. Hurr? It was enjoyable. I am also a Tom Hardy convert now. I've loved Chris Pine since Princess Diaries 2 for obvious reasons (whistling + closet + horses + ethics and morals + dress shirts + arrogance + pride and prejudice + other great stuff) so obviously I found him a total hotsy totsy in this Academy Award Masterpiece. But, surprisingly, I was more attracted to Tom Hardy with that underdog flare. Also, sex scene with Elle + Chris Pine? Um, yes please. It was enormously wonderful. What a dinosaur.

J

Does It Matter?

Just borrowed a pirated copy of This Means War from a family friend. Is it wrong that my anticipation in watching this had quadrupled in the last 15 minutes and now I can't wait to watch it? What's better than a hotsy totsy Chris Pine and a less hotsy totsy (but still hotsy) Tom Hardy fighting over an adorable and pert Elle Woods? They (The Establishment) says it's a B-grade movie? By B, I guess they mean BRILLIANT. Brilliant plotline. So imaginative. So unique.

I've spent the better portion of the day doing three lectures. I don't know why but it takes me FOREVER to get through lectures. I wasn't even watching these lectures. I was just typing up the notes from the annotations I'd done on the slides. It took me two hours to do the first one and progressively more for each lecture. It's tiresome. I managed to get through all of the Coldplay albums in that time. It's really great background music. Soothing and catchy but I think all the songs sound really similar... But is there something wrong with that? They have a sound and they stick to it and it sounds good. I don't know; sometimes "change" is overrated. In Speak Now, my least favourite songs are probably Haunted and Revenge which are the two least Taylor-like songs on the album. I know what I like and I like what I know. Give me Enchanted and Mine and I'm happy.

We got our GP placements yesterday night (I got a kick out of all the meddy kids who were checking moodle on a Friday night; I felt less alone). My GP's in Padbury which is fairly easy to drive to. I'm really anxious because I function so poorly when doing these placement and community things. I just can't. I get so awkward and, besides the social aspects, I'm so dumb. I feel constantly dumb and out of my depth on these things. I can't answer questions. I don't know anything. But I really want to dominate this placement so am going to go all out and read through all my notes from last year and do a lot of research and revision on all the clinical practice stuff and aspects of theory.

I've been battling my OCD-tendencies this year. I don't really like saying OCD-tendencies because I know there are a lot of cats out there who actually have clinical OCD and it's really hard. Let's just say I have obsessive behaviours. I keep trying to tell myself, "Does it matter?" every time I get caught up in something. No, no, it doesn't matter. No, no, no! Stains on my diary! Creases in my sheets! Un-straight writing! Does it matter?

Does it matter? I've been remembering this Gilmore Girls episode in the first season in which Rory gets told by the Chilton counsellor to make friends because she spends all her lunchtimes reading and listening to her walkman (because this was 2000, friends, and that was cutting edge technology). She was happy with it. I would love to do that. I love holing up in my own little area and just doing things by myself and being by myself. But it would be better if I was more like Rory in that, if I wanted to, I could still function socially. And while I like holing up, I also like friends.

I've been using Big Michelle shamelessly thus far and have met some of her international friends. Just briefly and acquaintance-y but still. It's better than nothing.

Let me give you an example of my social awkwardness. Yesterday arvo, we had histology lab and I partnered with this girl from a couple of my tutes who I didn't know very well. Besides the fact that we'd gone for chicken rice earlier in the day and hence I had a bit of chicken breath (hence a few huge slugs of cold water and liberal application of breath mints), it was really hot and uncomfortable. She's quite a friendly girl.

She sits in her chair and says something along the lines of, "Ugh, my seat's all wet. I went to the beach earlier. Just telling you in case you think it's sweat or something. Hurr hurr." All pleasant like. I smile pleasantly as I can but I can't think of anything to say! What do I say? Naturally, I go for something completely inappropriate like mumbling, "Oh hurr hurr, that's fine."

DOES IT MATTER?

Should be my catchphrase.

J

I Got My Ear Syringed

For those who don't know, I've been walking around half deaf for the last five days after some bitch in my FCP tute stuck an otoscope halfway to Africa down my ear. I was walking around with a blocked ear... as in, it felt like I'd just gone swimming except I couldn't shake the water out.

I went to the doctor today who confirmed that I had some lovely earwax clogging my lovely hearing-hole. When I told him what happened he basically spent five minutes asking me what units I was doing and then he reminisced about FCP with me. He was quite a lovely doctor. Except he then assumed I apparently knew EVERYTHING about doctoring because he took out his otoscope and his mouth-scope-thingy and his nose-scope-thingy and was like, "Blah blah blah," and I was like, "FUCK, SHUT UP. I JUST FOUND OUT WHAT A LIVER IS."

And then he was all, "So, did you have any ear problems as a kid?" and I was all, "No... I think I had an ear infection when I was little but that was it," then he was all, "Any otitis media?" and I was like, "Fuck, shut up. Am I in an NS exam? No."

I exaggerate. He was actually a really nice doctor.

I waited 20 minutes for the nurse to syringe my ear which basically involved her spurting warm water into my ear to flush out the crap and debris. It was AMAZING. It was like there was an ocean in my ear. It was like it was spurting all over my brain because it felt like water was coming out of my eye too. I wish the nurse had shown me my ear-debris because I did a little research before I went and apparently it's super gross and glorious. I'm pretty cut I didn't get to experience that phenomena.

It was FANTASTIC. I recommend EVERYONE get an ear syringe. Don't let the name dissuade you; you don't actually have someone stick a syringe in your ear.

J

Lounging!

The sexual tension on Pretty Little Liars is so palpable that I want to palpate it like I would someone's supraclavicular lymph nodes or, alternatively, your mother. I want a frenetic sexual manege trois between Spencer, Wren and Toby (even with that heinous foot face... which countered with Wren's sexy accent would be made tolerable) and I will die happy.

Lounging at home right now as I have the "day off" (that is to say: four lectures I'm skipping). Going to do some work, have a doctor's appointment at 2.15pm then I'm going to seriously consider buying some Taylor Swift merchandise from her online Aust store.
J

Post Secret

So, basically the greatest post that has ever been on ontd: http://ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com/67029318.html

Thanks to Big Michelle for alerting me to thing. We exchanged post secrets, me and her, for a good 20 minutes last night. I thought that, in honour of that, I would share some here and, in honour of that, you could comment with one of your own. In the interest of knowing each other more intimately than we already do. Because intimate is good. Just ask your mum.

1. I'm incredibly clumsy and careless (except compared to Kim). We have these photo frames hung up next to the dining table. Within a week of each other, I walked past and managed to break two...

2. I've had one near death experience. My family and I were hiking in a national park in China. You can imagine the safety regulations aren't very good there. It was near a waterfall and river so all the stones and footpaths were really slippery and mossy. I stupidly stepped onto a slopey part and nearly fell 20m into a rocky lake underneath the waterfall. I twisted my ankle and my dad grabbed me just in time.

Once, I was standing on the back of a golf cart in Malaysia. We were stationary so I wasn't holding on then the family friends I were with suddenly drove off super quickly (crazy Asians) and I grabbed on just in time. That probably doesn't count as near death but that was seriously scary

3. I went through a phase of hating my dad for no good reason from ages 13-14. The sound of his breathing would frustrate me to the point where I had to leave the room. The thing was, I thought he was a great guy but he seemed so obnoxious to me.

4. I just shared this one with Big Michelle but sometimes I think of (seriously) critical and mean things about people when I'm with them or when I'm facebook stalking them and I imagine I accidentally say them or type a mean comment and I freak out. I have to log out of facebook or I get really tongue-tied if I'm speaking to them in person.

5. I used to play kiss-chasy with this boy in pre-primary to the point where his mother told me to stop. Obviously, I was sexually developed at a very young age. I never got that kiss. My family still makes fun of me for this. Most of you probably know this boy.

6. I once saw Caitlin Stasey in person when I went to a screening of Tomorrow When the War Began. She was really small and kept grabbing the heel of her boot as she stood at the front.

7. Big Michelle kept kicking my folder which was on the ground in our FCP tute today and it made me really anxious because it's unhygienic. I didn't say anything but I kept looking at her disgusting foot touching my folder. I think she noticed because she stopped after that.

8. My biggest fear is going deaf.

9. My family has a history of going blind and serious eye problems. My dad's brother has a disease that made him blind over several years. He divorced his wife and moved to some small town and stopped seeing his kids. He became severely depressed. I don't really know what happened after that. I think it's ongoing.

10. My dad has 20 siblings, four stepmothers and (obviously) one real mother. Most of his siblings were given to relatives or put up for adoption. He never knew his real mother who left with one of her daughters when he was young.

11. My dad's dad used to beat his wives and children.

12. In year seven or eight, we had this youngish, good looking phys-ed teacher who we shall call Mr. Time. There was this girl called Renee who let's just say was very developed for her age. Once, she went up to him and pushed her boobs out in his face. He just looked at them with this smile on his face. I was like, "Caught, son," except not.

13. In year 11 maths class, my period bled through my pants and got EVERYWHERE. On my shirt, on my chair and, as you can imagine, all over my pants. I was completely traumatized and wrapped my jumper around my waist and got my friends to stand around me as we left the school. That same year, I basically bled all over my chair in economics. I thought my period had finished but you know how it can sneak up on you sometimes? Yeah, so that happened. I waddled to the bathroom, cleaned myself up and somehow managed to secretly clean my chair.

14. I basically get a huge crush on any boy that pays any attention to me.

15. I am secretly scared of my nether regions and have never used a tampon. I have this fear that I'll use one and when I try to take it out the string will break off and I'll have a tampon stuck in me and I'll have to stick my hand up there to get it out. It scares the fuck out of me.

16. This is like the 14th edit because I keep thinking of secrets to write. When I was in primary school (like year two or three) before I was friends with Little Mishelle, I was on the playground. There was this slide thing except it was just made out of two beams that you hooked your legs around and slid down. I had one hand on one of the beams and was sort of leaning there, chatting to a friend (if year twos actually chat with friends...) and I didn't see Little Mishelle go down the slide and apparently she didn't see me because she slid right into my arm. Like, her crotch area slid into my arm really hard. I think I bruised her cooter because next thing she's hopping around and clutching her vaginal area. I was like, "Oh my fucking God," and felt so bad. I didn't say anything. This is the first time I've ever written/said it but this memory has haunted me for all these years

That's all for now.

J

Wonderstruck

I smell like Taylor.

They gave out free samples of Wonderstruck at the concert and I put some on this afternoon. It's just like she described it in that Ellen interview, with the whimsical voice and all. Raspberries and freesia and the rest of it. I think I'll buy a bottle eventually.

J

When She Smiles

I told my mother Taylor was the most beautiful person I'd ever seen. I used to think her smile was the most unattractive part about her. In fact, her smile is the most attractive part about her. It lights up her face and she looks completely angelic when she smiles.

J

Taylor

There was a moment. My heart started racing as the lights changed and we all knew she was about to come out on stage. There were so many screams and yelps and unnatural sounds coming from the audience.

The next second, she was there.

I couldn't believe she was real and not just a figment of my imagination. She was, in the words of "Sparks Fly," "close enough to touch" but not quite. At her closest, she was probably 5-10m away. I couldn't believe she was standing there and real and wearing her gold, flappy dress.

I felt completely overwhelmed. It was just so strange, wonderful but strange and unbelievable. I could see the hairs on her arms glinting in the stage lights. I could see real strands of her hair. I could see her fringe start to get clumpy as the night went out and the sweat and oil on her face increased. I could see her red lipstick and the black boots that she's had for so long. I saw the purple halter dress I've seen on youtube so many times as she sang "Dear John" or her acoustic/ukelele version of "Fearless."

It brought me to tears.

She sung so beautifully. I know I rag on her singing abilities quite a lot, especially for a fan, but she really does sing beautifully. She has either gotten a lot better or she just sounds better actually live rather than live over the internet. Her voice has a beautiful quality. She can sing strongly but delicately at the same time.

It was like being deaf for my whole life then suddenly being able to hear. It's nothing like listening to her album or on youtube. There were these nuances and tones in her voice that I had never heard before. They were all perfect.

For me, hearing her sing live gave a whole new meaning to so many of the songs and lyrics. I could hear her emotion in the songs. I've always liked "Last Kiss" but hearing her sing it and seeing the emotion in her face was just so amazing and I found myself crying and swept up in the moment.

Even as she sang "Better Than Revenge," which has never been one of my favourite songs, the line, "She's not a saint and she's not what you think, she's an actress," just struck a new chord with me. It might have been acting but I saw this passion and feeling in Taylor and in her voice and the words and song just meant something more to me than a typical, cliched bitch-revenge song.

I have watched so many youtube videos of her that I have basically memorized her face and her mannerisms. I can tell you how her mouth moves as she sings certain lines in "Fearless." I can tell you the moment she's going to raise her hands in her heart salute. Seeing it all in front of me was so surreal.

Seeing her "Mean" costume in person, seeing her perfect side-braid, seeing her weird red leather bandage dress for "Better Than Revenge." It was so wonderful and amazing and bizarre.

Seeing Caitlin and Liz and Grant and Amos and even that one bodyguard I've seen so many times was so incredible. They were so close, guys. That one blonde dancer I saw on some of Taylor's pictures blog; I always thought to myself, "Who is this stranger bitch?" because I'd never seen her in any of Taylor's video blogs. She was beautiful and did a short ballet performance before Enchanted. Liz was adorable and sweet and perfect. Caitlin and Liz's synchronized dance moves were amazing.

As for Taylor, she is the most beautiful person I've ever seen. I will always have "the look on her face in the back of my mind." Even from a distance and through many heads, I could see how clear and beautiful her blue eyes were and how perfect her skin was and the hair. It looked so soft and perfect. The first hair shake/toss/flip literally electrified me. It was crazy! I didn't expect the hair toss to be so insane but it was, she put her whole body into it and her hair went every direction. It messed up her fringe completely but I loved that she went for it anyway and didn't give a shit.

My legs were killing me by the end and I thought I might fall over but I didn't and it was 100% worth it. I love Taylor so much and I know this won't be the last time I see her. I can't wait to see what she puts out next and my only regret is that I didn't get to see the Fearless tour which was amazing.

Every time I just think about last night and think about Taylor I start to cry. I don't know why I was so emotional about it and still am given I don't consider myself an overly-emotional person. I think part of it is I never expected to see her in real life so it was an incredible privilege to see her in the flesh.

I just can't believe that this is the same person I've been watching and loving for years from across the world. I can't believe this is the person who was in "You Belong With Me" with Lucas Till and up there with Kanye and dueting with Zac and being perfect and sparkly and amazing and inspirational and beautiful. I love her so much. I just love her with my whole heart. She is so wonderful, guys.

J

So, I Had a Bad Day

Worst fucking day of uni probably in the last semester and a half.

First off, 8am classes all the way to 2pm. One hour lunch then a 3-4pm tute. Finally, Big Michelle and I set off for home. At Esplanade, we go to take a connecting bus to Wellington and accidentally hop back on a bus to uni... We get off on Mounts Bay Road.

She says to me, "Reckon we can jump the baricade?" because there's a baricade separating either side of the road. Next thing I know, I glance over and see her scurrying across the road in her diaphanous purple blousette. She jumps the baricade, waits for like five cars to pass (this is a big main road, they are going quickly) then she dashes to the other side. Meanwhile, I'm standing there, gaping at her and making wild hand gestures. I stupidly follow her and nearly get killed. When I get to the middle bit with the baricade, suddenly a whole bunch of cars wildly appear and I'm stuck there for at least a minute waiting for all the cars. I think I got honked for being a wild and dangerous youth. I nearly trip over the baricade and land on my face which would have undoubtedly resulted in me being killed by the car that was quickly advancing in my direction.

To top it all off, sixth year medical student used the otoscope in my ear and shoved it way too far in so now my ear feels all fuzzy and weird and gross and I'm hoping I can just sleep it off.

These fuckers.

Lastly (but chronologically firstly in my list of crappy things that happened today), I'm sunburnt from the cultural tour we took in King's Park for our Aboriginal Health unit. The tour guide had obviously done this tour about a million times because it was like he was reading off a script. I don't know if this is politically incorrect but as I was sitting there, listening to him tell a story about how some spiritual being picked up tiny spiritual children rocks and then the other spiritual children rocks got angry so started pecking at her head (and apparently this is why magpies peck at our heads because they're secretly spiritual children rocks), I thought to myself, "Wow, and I thought the bible was full of shit."

Is this wrong?

J