Three Goals

I bought my very first pair of trousers this morning.

From K-Mart. You know what that means. They were $15. It also means they fit in the waist but are way, way too tight in the calves (damn my "voluptuous" legs). It also means they are about an inch too short. All of these deterrents crossed my mind as I was considering these (otherwise lovely) trousers.

But other things also crossed my mind. Like my goal to Become The Woman I Want To Be (more on this later). Similar to this, my goal to Own Many Great Pairs Of Trousers. And also, to Dress More Like My Very Fantastic And Eclectic Cousin.

I shall address each goal now.

1. Become The Woman I Want To Be.

This is tied in closely to my other two goals. I want to dress myself with more pride and rely less on sloppy t-shirts and denim bottoms. I want to stop buying so many goddamn $5 tube skirts. Big Michelle likes to ask me why I read so many fashion blogs (and hence, the implication is, "but don't dress that great yourself." I accept this wholeheartedly as I know I don't). This is a very good question.

I know a lot of useless information about trends, designer brands, styles, big name bloggers, big name fashionistas and all the rest of that bullshit. But can I dress myself? No. Sure, I'm limited by my cheapness and the resulting dedication to stores like K-Mart, Virgingirl, Temtation and other such cheapo clothing sources. But even with this dedication to being the Stingiest Bitch North of the CBD, I believe that one can still dress with pride and good presentation.

But dressing well is not all it takes to Become The Woman I Want To Be. To be honest, this goal is more about Building Confidence, the Ability to Speak to Others With Verbal Prowess and Walking With My Head Up and Tits/Chest Out. Whilst these are physical manifestations, really it's all about feeling better about myself, "finding myself" and coming one step closer to being the adult I always envisaged myself being in my pre-menarche years.

I always imagined myself in Some Really Good Trousers walking with purpose through some city streets. I have a really important business meeting to attend to and nothing will stand in my way. I am determined, I am strong, I am confident. People fall around me like wilting spinach, so amazed by my natural charm, grace and wit. Girls think to themselves, "That Is The Woman I Want To Be."

Soon, friends. Soon.

2. Own Many Great Pairs Of Trousers.

I like pants. I don't like skirts or dresses very much (unless they're tube skirts and I'm in the mood to skank it up). I am enjoying this new trend towards Great Trousers. Peg legs, cappuchinos, slim cut beauties. Everywhere, anywhere except on me.

A Great Pair of Trousers can take you from the hospital (clinical wear) to a hot date at some banging bar (puh-lease) to a sultry dinner at some fancy, dimly lit restaurant (and what comes after. I hope it's a snap closure). A Great Pair of Trousers says to the world, "I'm confident enough in my own womanhood to wear this slightly masculine pair of trousers without a care in the world. I'm intelligent as hell but my ass is also fantastic which this Great Pair of Trousers clearly demonstrates. But don't look (no no) because my ass is not for you. It's for me (and my Great Pair of Trousers to snuggle up against)."

Great Pairs of Trousers just say so much. And what are they? Simple scraps of fabric bound together with some flimsy thread. So simple yet so effective.

3. Dress More Like My Very Fantastic And Eclectic Cousin.

I have discussed this cousin with Big Michelle and Little Mishelle before. No, this is not my cousin, The Crazy Bitch. This is a different cousin, more distantly related (and therefore harder to emulate? Damnit). She recently graduated from UWA with a Bachelor of Music. She is a stunning violinist. She is very EcLeCtIc.

She is slightly built and has always been kind of shy. But then not really shy at all. Conversations with her are filled with laughs and chortles. She asks interesting, ridiculous questions. She (like me) likes to let awkward silences settle... and then provoke them (one of my favourite pastimes).

She has always been the less aesthetically invested of her three sisters, choosing to dress in knee length shorts and t-shirts. But the last time I saw her, she had transformed. She had blossomed into something magnificent. Her face was the same but her hair was really, really long, dyed a medium brown and permed into these fabulous bohemian waves. She was dressed in a really Great Pair of Trousers (thus beginning my fascination with really Great Pairs of Trousers) and a sophisticated top of some description (I was too focused on the trousers).

She was the same girl as before, behaving and speaking in the same way. But there was something different; a lightness and quickness to her step, a new gracefulness to her movement, a heightened cheekiness in her grin.

To summarise, she had Become The Woman I Want To Be.

I think I'm in love with her. This would be totally appropriate as she is amazing except that she is my cousin (but only through marriage!).

A couple of years ago, she was very dedicated to the idea of getting dreadlocks. I shit you not. Perhaps this is not so shocking to the rest of you but bear in mind that she is Asian, belongs to a devoutly Christian family and is Asian (PS: she is Asian). She studied music at university, for God's sake. To me, this is amazing. She loves music and the violin therefore studied it in university.

STUDYING SOMETHING YOU LOVE IN UNIVERSITY? UNHEARD OF.

Especially when it's music (if an Asian kid loved commerce or biology, I'm sure their parents would be all for them following their dreams).

Now that I have discussed (ad nauseum) three of the important goals on my radar, I must go find a way to slim my calves. They really are the bane of my trouser buying existence. Things that fit in the waist and thighs never fit my gargantuan calves. Should I buy a buggy and stop walking altogether? Tempting.

For my final comment, I bought blueberry coloured hair dye at Chemist Warehouse this morning. It says it lasts for eight washes. I will probably do it this afternoon. Wish me luck (also, I hope I don't stain anything. If you don't hear back from me, it's likely I did stain something and mother has since disposed of my corpse).

Cheerio.

J