There and Back Again (A Lard Ass' Tale)

I have been the worst at healthy eating over the last couple of weeks. My new approach to food is this: eat healthy at home, indulge on a weekly basis when I go out to eat. I read a lot of food blogs and I get pissed out when I see healthy lifestyle bloggers go out to eat at a nice restaurant and order a salad.

I like salads. I like that you can add whatever you want, they're generally healthy and generally yummy. But restaurant salads are usually expensive for what they are and, in my opinion, not worth it. Maybe these people just really, really like salads. I am not one of those people. So, when I go out to eat, I like to indulge fully.

This week, I went out to eat too many times and did not change my food philosophy. I did, in fact, indulge fully on each and every one of those occasions. I had Baskin Robbins ice cream on Tuesday. Pralines n' cream. Holy crap, the second I saw it I knew I had to have it (a lot like how I feel about cute guys on the bus). I have never seen so many nuts in a vat of ice cream before. Generally, ice cream places are pretty stingy with mixins. Brownie bits, nut bits, other bits are sparse. But this ice cream was literally bursting with huge chunks of pecans.

I said to myself, "Self, you are going to eat that." So I ordered myself a scoop in a cone (inspired by Big Michelle's recent comments about how she always gets her ice cream in a cone rather than a cup if it's available) and it was magnificent. The pecans were not crispy. Because they were pralined (new terminology. Educate yourself), the texture was more akin to a cookie piece. It was just astonishingly amazing. I now know what sex feels like.

On Thursday, I went to Jamie's Italian and had a full pasta lunch with ice cream dessert. For lunch. Lunch with dessert. This is very uncharacteristic for me. I will have dessert for lunch but I rarely, if ever, have dessert with lunch.

On Friday, mama made lasagne. I worked that night until 9pm and got home at almost half past. And then ate a full lasagne dinner. Great. I'm sure my body thanked me for that one.

On Saturday, I worked the whole day so did not exercise. I ate healthily until dinnertime when I had combination hofan, the most delicious of all hofans. I ate the whole thing. This was a big serve. This was a mega serve. I ate every last slippery noodle. My parents also bought all these cakes and cinnamon rolls from the Miss Maud's factory for cheap so I had a small piece of apple cake. Divinity.

On Friday, I had bought a block of Cadbury Oreo chocolate (limited edition. Get on it, kids). I broke into it last night. Holy crap. It rivals the pralines n' cream ice cream in terms of mixins. So many massive Oreo chunks. So fucking fantastic. I had two pieces (as in, two squares) and was sent to heaven and then back again.

This morning, I ate a massive cinnamon roll that my parents bought. It was amazing. Dense, bready, sweet deliciousness. I was in carboheaven.

Lawd, save me.

It's a good thing (but still very, very bad at the same time) that I go back to uni tomorrow because I need to get back into my healthy eating habits. No more snacks (I can't do snacks because then I feel too entitled to eat more)! No more eating out (except once a week)!

I like how this blog post started as me bashing myself up for eating junk then turned into me salivating and describing ad nauseum the delicious, unhealthy things I ate this week.

J