Life Experiences

As some of you may remember, I recently went for a couple of job interviews and got both of them! Unfortunately, I had to turn down one (after initially accepting thinking I could swing both) and have lost the love of my life as a result. Her name was Nona and she was the sweetest woman in the world. When I went in for the interview, she said these words to me, "I liked you the second you walked in." From then on, Nona had my heart, my body, my soul, my mind, my spirit. We were planning a Spring wedding. For the present time, we are separated like a great Love Story ("You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess"). This also means that I may never see that other youngish lad that works there who I spoke about earlier (regarding Presence).

I have acquired the Officeworks job and look forward to toning my muscles whilst nightfilling and stretching my people-muscle as I converse and exchange witticisms with the good patrons of Officeworks. My first shift is on Thursday. Wish me luck! The other people working there seem nice and my supervisor is a nice enough lad who has a very firm handshake (I think he cracked one of my knuckles).

Yesterday, I went to buy ham from the supermarket. Who should be manning the counter but none other than Damian F from primary school. I pretended I didn't know him and was glad I was buying champagne ham and not polony because that is just embarrassing.

In honour of my newfound appreciation of "life experiences," I have been engaging in all manner of debauchery and hedonistic behaviour. Yesterday night, Kim, Sarah and I went to the beach to engage in wild chocolate conquests (San Churros. I had the choc bizcocho which was chocolate cake cubes, hot choc fudge sauce, strawberries and white chocolate ice cream. It was delicious the first few bites but I wasn't even hungry at the time I bought it so, as you can imagine, I quickly wearied of that shit). Afterwards, we went to the beach and walked along the water. It was very dark and I theorized somebody was hiding behind the bushes/rocks/in the water, either masturbating or holding a machete, ready to get us. Nonetheless, I carried on and hence achieved a LIFE EXPERIENCE.

Later, I mistook a very sharp and craggy rock as a pile of sand and stepped on it. I hurt myself. LIFE EXPERIENCE.

Before, as we were driving down to the beach, we hit a patch of wetness at a roundabout. Craziness ensued. We were in Kim's car and her steering wheel locked and we were swerving all over the place. Seriously, we cheated death yesterday night. We veered from one side of the road to the other. Thank God there were no other cars close to us. We pulled over at a bus stop thingo (correct terminology unknown) as we checked the car and each other. After a group hug, we continued on our way to San Churros. Nothing could stop us from getting our chocolate fix. Nothing.

LIFE EXPERIENCE.

I have stopped reviewing rom coms because it was SUCKING THE LIFE OUT OF ME. However, recently I have enjoyed watching Tamara Drewe which was a very good movie and one I had watched a couple of years earlier but had to re-enjoy. It reminds me of Hot Fuzz but with Dominic Cooper, Gemma Arterton and this other hottie who, unfortunately, turned out to be gay in real life. Not that being gay is bad. It's just bad for me.

J