How To Be Horribly Antisocial

Or how to recover from it.

I don't remember being like this in year seven when I met most of my friends for the first time. Maybe it was because we were literally FORCED together and spent basically every waking moment with each other. Maybe it was our child-like naivete.

Regardless, I need to do something. I said I would. I was adamant about it last holidays. Nothing has really transpired. I thought about this all last night and got pretty upset. I've become someone I hate/am not happy with. I want to change this. That's not saying much though because I say this all the time. I want this time to be for real though. I look at my brother who has become majorly confident and social and I feel both hope and like time is running out for me.

This Thursday, Meg and I are going to this Wellbeing Synopsium at med campus. Hopefully, she and I will mingle.

I've had lunch the last couple of days with Big Michelle's friends. I really didn't want to. As in, I felt I was going to vomit. I forced myself to because, even though I said literally NOTHING (I just sat there, looking at people awkwardly), I figured it was best to force myself into uncomfortable situations to get over them quicker. So, I'm sorry to Big Michelle if I cramped her style or embarrassed her.

I like to think that today when I had lunch with them I spoke a couple more words. I think I did.

The issue is that I feel they're all out of my league. I don't know if I can comfortably be friends with these people. They're all too confident and smart and goodlooking. I miss the small fish. I probably need to make my own friends instead of clinging onto Big Michelle. Hence the Wellbeing Synopsium. Hopefully I'll get mingly with some cats from our year.

We'll see how it goes.

J