Twankies and Hostesses

Only 16 posts this September? This is a new low for me except for the time I was on holiday in China for most of last July (?).

My mother has potentially the most boring job. Okay, it's not the most boring job but she likes to talk about it. Fine. But when she won't stop talking about it, I have to restrain myself from telling her, "Mum, have you ever thought about starting a diary?" Because, honestly, I have no feels towards her job. Do I want to talk about how idiot one of her cases is, boring shit about builders and decking and shire approvals? OR do I want to discuss An Idiot Abroad, Tall Men and How Angry I Am That My Brother Is In The US?

That's right. He is in DC now and I'm mad. I told him to buy me snack cakes like 50 times the night he left (Friday night/early Saturday morning, if you recall). Additionally, he had layovers in LA, New York and Dallas.

I FEEL LIKE HE HAS TRAVELLED THE ENTIRE GLOBE IN THE TIME I HAVE LEARNT HOW TO PULL SPAGHETTI OUT OF MY NOSE.

He doesn't appreciate the fact that he is likely walking the same pathways that Selena Gomez did. Or appreciate the fact that basically all of my favourite bloggers live in New York (okay, Boston but close enough). OR THE FACT HE COULD GO SEE CRAIG FERGUSON.

He doesn't even give a shit. He's all, "Ugh, this is shit." It's all part of his moral superiority, you see. He is going to a "conference" where SIFE clubs from across the world present the shit they did and they pick a winner etc. etc. He hates it and thinks it's just people showing off when the whole point of the club is to help poor people and shit. Which is good. I admire it.

BUT THINK ABOUT THE TWINKIES.

J