Last Night

Last night, around 3am, my parents left to drop my brother off at the airport. I stayed home because I was lazy/tired. Inevitably however, I woke up as they were getting ready to go. I dozed off and then woke up again at around 3.45am. Things started to hit the fan.

When I was younger, I used to have the worst nighttime paranoia. Every night was a struggle to go to sleep and I would wake my mum up constantly because I was scared. Exposure to SVU (har har... no, seriously) before I went to bed would make it worse.

With age, I began to be able to ignore sounds in the night. If I concentrate on them, I'll freak out but if I force myself to believe it's nothing (which it always has been) then I can go to sleep.

Last night, however, being home alone, I was freaking. And that's when I heard the most horrible sound of all; I swear I heard someone rattling the security screen on our front door. I swear it to you. Like someone was trying to break in or gauge whether anyone was awake (either so they could kill them or slip in without being noticed).

I got out of bed. My heart felt like it was going to explode. I grabbed my phone, keys, torch (I know...) and turned off the kitchen light so noone could see inside from outside. I peered through the front lounge windows. I could see nothing. I debated turning on the porch light on as this might scare them away.

But then I thought of all the Criminal Minds episodes I had watched. And I thought of Alfred, the butler, saying, "Some men just want to watch the world burn." And then I thought about Jill Meagher. And I became convinced that if I turned the porch light on, whoever was outside would know someone was home and puttering around. They would break in and kill/rape me.

Safe to say that noone was outside. Still, I stood by my front door with my phone, keys and torch for 1.5 hours, listening to every sound, waiting for my parents to get home.

When it hit 5.20am, the sun was beginning to rise ever so slightly. My parents were still not back. I felt it safe, however, to return to bed as I was sure that noone would break into a house at 5.20am when early risers are rising and salt-of-the-earth type blokes are heading off for the coal mines and what have you.

I went to bed. So ended another night of losing my mind. This happens regularly. More when I was little but still, a little too regularly for a girl of nearly 20.

J