On This Thursday Night, I Present To You...

Somebody (you know who you are) may or may not have expressed "surprise" at a lack of an in depth analysis on each of the members of One Direction. As per suggestion... Let's start with the obvious. Zayn Effing Malik, I like to call him "The Hotter Tareq" (Tareq being the super hot anatomy tutor who also did our pee lab and said our pee was too yellow and we were dehydrated... Never been so turned on by somebody talking about my pee). Can this man/boy/man-child take a bad picture. He is almost... God-like in appearance. His face is so attractive in a Boticelli angelic way. Perfect features. He's sexy and fine. He's pretty much accepted as the hottest member of 1D on an international scale.

Yes? Yes, I do find this amazingly attractive. His smile... He's also shy and you know me, I like me a shy boy. There's something so incredibly endearing about it, especially for a boy as hot as Zayn Effing Malik. Speaking of amazing smiles, let's move on to the NEXT hottest member of 1D, the unforgettable Harry Flirt-With-Me Styles. This boy. To me, he is the most "attractive" member of 1D despite me acknowledging that Zayn Effing Malik is the best looking one. Harry is so Stylish (see what i did there?), he's suave and charming. Very slick. I also like that. He has an amazing smile and laugh. I love it when hot guys laugh because it's like, "YOU'RE HUMAN TOO. NOW DO ME."

Yeah, you're welcome for that. My third favourite member is, of course, Niall Sorry-But-I-Had-To-Look-Up-Your-Last-Name Horan. Who is, of course, the least goodlooking out of 1D but so adorable and cute that I want to cuddle him until he chokes. He's the youngest looking guy despite Harry being the youngest (don't even get me started on him and Caroline Flack). His cheeky smile, white-blonde hair and general albino-ness has me in some kind of puppy love with this cutie.

 

Down to my last two faves. I once heard someone describe Louis I'm-Ugly Tomlinson as resembling an inbred British guy? Yeah, I see it.

And lastly, Liam I-Think-Of-You-As-The-Unnecessary-1D-Member Payne who I basically have no feelings or opinions about, positive or negative. He's just there. That's all folks. You lot are welcome (especially you, Caity Baby).

J