Ugh, I just can't with this shit anymore.
R and I shared three hours together at Officeworks (shift overlapping) but I only saw him two or three times because it was busy as hale in there. He said hello at some point. I said, "Waddup?" He took a moment to actually think then said, "Hm, nothing." It was the most stupid, insignificant shit ever but it made me smile so much. I'm sure the customers I was serving at the time thought I was plum crazy.
I just looked at him for a while across the computer monitors and boxes of dividers. We don't have anymore shared shifts this week. And then next week I'm on even less. And then the week after that, I might not even see him again.
Do people tell other people they like them these days? I thought that, at a certain age, both parties were just meant to know then either pursue it mutually or get the fuck out.
Is there a sign to show someone you like them? I can't flirt because I can't remember how. And I hate flirting; it is archaic. We should just use our natural musk to show whether we are in heat or not.
My natural musk is telling me things right now.
J
About Me
- Junaberry
- I'm a student from Australia who used to have a lot of time on her hands but doesn't have that much anymore. Now she has other stuff on her hands.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Plain Jane - Episode 4
I don't even care that they only ever choose already attractive girls to "makeover." I think the host is hilarious, gorgeous and nice to the guests. "All fart, no poo" may be the best phrase ever spoken.
J
J
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Plain Jane - Episode 1
Oh, my fucking God. This is amazing:
I feel like my heart is bursting. My heart is literally bursting.
J
I feel like my heart is bursting. My heart is literally bursting.
J
No Regrets, Just Love
I spent $56 at Kmart yesterday and am not sure how to feel about it.
On one hand, I bought two $2 shirts (yes, the ones you have, Big Michelle. Sorry). On the other hand, I spent $15 on one shirt made of that really flimsy, thin material. But then, on the third hand, it's freaking Kmart!
I was reading a Lauren Conrad interview just then (yolo) and she was saying the last movie that made her cry was the Katy Perry movie. I agree completely with her; I broke watching that movie. I love Katy just a touch (Teenage Dream really endeared her to me. That song is flawless). In the movie, there's an interview where they ask her a question about Russell Brand (post-divorce) and she begins to answer normally and then her voice just cracks and she starts crying.
I can't take it.
THERE SHOULD BE NO SADNESS IN THE WORLD.
J
On one hand, I bought two $2 shirts (yes, the ones you have, Big Michelle. Sorry). On the other hand, I spent $15 on one shirt made of that really flimsy, thin material. But then, on the third hand, it's freaking Kmart!
I was reading a Lauren Conrad interview just then (yolo) and she was saying the last movie that made her cry was the Katy Perry movie. I agree completely with her; I broke watching that movie. I love Katy just a touch (Teenage Dream really endeared her to me. That song is flawless). In the movie, there's an interview where they ask her a question about Russell Brand (post-divorce) and she begins to answer normally and then her voice just cracks and she starts crying.
I can't take it.
THERE SHOULD BE NO SADNESS IN THE WORLD.
J
Jog One
I woke up at 6am this morning to go for my jog. It was amazing.
I took it really slow and managed to avoid all that dry-heavey goodness and instead enjoyed an invigorating morning cruise. 90 seconds goes a lot faster than I expected and I never really pushed myself fully. I wanted to at times (I know; what the fuck?) but I knew that if I did, I'd end up feeling sick and then hate jogging forever. This would not be conducive to jogging success.
J
I took it really slow and managed to avoid all that dry-heavey goodness and instead enjoyed an invigorating morning cruise. 90 seconds goes a lot faster than I expected and I never really pushed myself fully. I wanted to at times (I know; what the fuck?) but I knew that if I did, I'd end up feeling sick and then hate jogging forever. This would not be conducive to jogging success.
J
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
A Regime to Remember
I begin jogging again tomorrow. Because I have invested $19 in sports bras, I'm hoping I will seriously commit to this new regime and keep it up for at least a year. I plan on starting at a 30/30 split between running and walking and slowly changing the ratio until I reach 1/0.
The thing is, I have no stopwatch so I'm planning on just counting in my head for the whole run. What the cheapness is this?
Lastly, I had a customer chuck a shit on my face tonight because his receipt from three months ago had faded. Then he accused me of purposely doing it to fuck him over. Oh, and it was for a $14 stamp that he wanted to claim for tax purposes. Even my manager laughed at him (behind his back).
It took me five minutes to sort it out and, by that time, I had a line the length of the Nile to get through check out. I could smack a bitch.
Lastly (and for cereal this time), I got my roster for next week (after my contract ends). They've put me on for 2.5 days. Yes! I'm definitely not ready to say goodbye to that beautiful blue building yet despite all the little shits that fuck with me because their $14 receipt faded. What checkout chick would legitimately give a fuck? The only thing I like about having crappy customers is the customer waiting in the line after them always exchanges knowing looks with me and is super nice.
J
The thing is, I have no stopwatch so I'm planning on just counting in my head for the whole run. What the cheapness is this?
Lastly, I had a customer chuck a shit on my face tonight because his receipt from three months ago had faded. Then he accused me of purposely doing it to fuck him over. Oh, and it was for a $14 stamp that he wanted to claim for tax purposes. Even my manager laughed at him (behind his back).
It took me five minutes to sort it out and, by that time, I had a line the length of the Nile to get through check out. I could smack a bitch.
Lastly (and for cereal this time), I got my roster for next week (after my contract ends). They've put me on for 2.5 days. Yes! I'm definitely not ready to say goodbye to that beautiful blue building yet despite all the little shits that fuck with me because their $14 receipt faded. What checkout chick would legitimately give a fuck? The only thing I like about having crappy customers is the customer waiting in the line after them always exchanges knowing looks with me and is super nice.
J
Sockette Emergency
Imagine this.
A girl, 19 years or so, in Kmart. She is on a mission to buy her first ever sports bra. She aims low, going for the two pack for $19. It takes her 10 minutes to find the right size (depressingly, it amounts to a 14B. She has a massive ribcage).
The first lady manning the change rooms is a lovely older woman. When the girl goes back the second time, the woman has changed to a mega bitch who is straight up rude to the girl. The girl wonders why such people exist. She was only trying to find the right sports bra size; does the woman want her tits to be as saggy as hers when she's that age?
The girl eventually finds a depressing 14B. At this point, she has also chosen two stud tops (honestly, with studs) to buy as well. She remembers on the way to purchase items, "I'm meant to be buying sockettes." Her sockettes are disgusting at this point with too many holes.
The thing is... she really needs to pee. Like, desperately. There are moments when she honestly thinks she is going to piss herself. But she also really wants to get the sockettes because if she doesn't do it now it will probably never happen.
She runs to the sock aisle. She sees the first sockettes she can find. She grabs them. She forces herself to only take one minute to choose the right sockettes (normally, she would take at least five but there's a urinary emergency at hand). She goes to pay and forces herself to use the self check-out (she prefers the normal one as the onus is not on her to make sure she doesn't accidentally fuck something up).
She makes her purchase. It takes a few minutes but luckily, it seems as if the pee has crawled back into her bladder and, for the time being, the world is at peace.
She runs out of the shop and pees.
The day is saved.
In other news, aforementioned girl's smartrider doesn't work anymore. As in, it doesn't scan at all. She called up the helpline and they said she has to find a help centre to get a new card (hopefully, for free). She was forced to spend $4 on the bus ride home.
Girl is displeased.
J
A girl, 19 years or so, in Kmart. She is on a mission to buy her first ever sports bra. She aims low, going for the two pack for $19. It takes her 10 minutes to find the right size (depressingly, it amounts to a 14B. She has a massive ribcage).
The first lady manning the change rooms is a lovely older woman. When the girl goes back the second time, the woman has changed to a mega bitch who is straight up rude to the girl. The girl wonders why such people exist. She was only trying to find the right sports bra size; does the woman want her tits to be as saggy as hers when she's that age?
The girl eventually finds a depressing 14B. At this point, she has also chosen two stud tops (honestly, with studs) to buy as well. She remembers on the way to purchase items, "I'm meant to be buying sockettes." Her sockettes are disgusting at this point with too many holes.
The thing is... she really needs to pee. Like, desperately. There are moments when she honestly thinks she is going to piss herself. But she also really wants to get the sockettes because if she doesn't do it now it will probably never happen.
She runs to the sock aisle. She sees the first sockettes she can find. She grabs them. She forces herself to only take one minute to choose the right sockettes (normally, she would take at least five but there's a urinary emergency at hand). She goes to pay and forces herself to use the self check-out (she prefers the normal one as the onus is not on her to make sure she doesn't accidentally fuck something up).
She makes her purchase. It takes a few minutes but luckily, it seems as if the pee has crawled back into her bladder and, for the time being, the world is at peace.
She runs out of the shop and pees.
The day is saved.
In other news, aforementioned girl's smartrider doesn't work anymore. As in, it doesn't scan at all. She called up the helpline and they said she has to find a help centre to get a new card (hopefully, for free). She was forced to spend $4 on the bus ride home.
Girl is displeased.
J
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Life's Like This
Why is Officeworks my life right now? It is undoubtedly sad.
Today, I fully embraced my growing crush on R. I went in half an hour before the store opened to help clean up and restock. Every time the door bell went off and I went to open the door for a team member, my heart stopped as I expected his stupid face to appear.
He has this habit of greeting every single person by name and making an effort to say good morning to everyone. He never eats during work (as in, goes nine hours without eating) but is somehow not skinny. Every time I walk into the staff room while he's on lunch, he's lying on the couch, playing on his ancient phone (despite being a tech person).
Just as we were closing up, he comes in from outside and says to me, "Junaberry, check this out!" and holds up this phone. "I found it in the recycling bin. It was in the box and everything!"
"Dude," I said to him, with a peculiar look to disguise my longing. "It's probably a terrorist phone or a kidnapper's phone. Watch yourself."
He ignored my suggestions and told me he was going to charge it and try to use it. We laughed.
I only have a week left on my Officeworks contract and I'm debating whether or not to ask if they'd be able to keep me on for just a few hours a week during uni. I put my availability down for until I start uni again (end of February) so I don't know what's going to happen. If they do keep me on, it means I'll have to stop tutoring my girls and that would cut me really deep. There are not enough hours in a week for this shit.
For the last of today's Officeworks Round Up, I want to share with you the conversation I had with one of the Officeworks tech guys during lunch today. He was telling me about how lonely he is in Perth. All his family is back in India and the six weeks a year he goes back to visit are the best weeks of his year. He went to TAFE/uni in Melbourne so all his uni friends are there. He said his whole life is just his morning job then Officeworks.
I suggested he join a club and asked if he played any sports (cricket). I told him to join a cricket club. He told me it would all be men.
"So you want to meet women, huh?" I said.
"A mixture," was the response.
I had no words. That was probably the most depressing and honest conversation I've ever had with someone who wasn't my best friend. And, honestly, I have no other suggestions for how he would be able to meet friends in Perth. Your ideas?
In other news, Hot Family Friend Guy (whom I have mentioned before) added me on facebook (after the 19 years I have known him and the five or so years I have had facebook). I am scared to accept the friend request because I'm scared he'll start talking to me. Ain't nobody got time (nor the energy) for dat. Or I may just be acting really egotistical and self-obsessed right now. Yolo.
J
Today, I fully embraced my growing crush on R. I went in half an hour before the store opened to help clean up and restock. Every time the door bell went off and I went to open the door for a team member, my heart stopped as I expected his stupid face to appear.
He has this habit of greeting every single person by name and making an effort to say good morning to everyone. He never eats during work (as in, goes nine hours without eating) but is somehow not skinny. Every time I walk into the staff room while he's on lunch, he's lying on the couch, playing on his ancient phone (despite being a tech person).
Just as we were closing up, he comes in from outside and says to me, "Junaberry, check this out!" and holds up this phone. "I found it in the recycling bin. It was in the box and everything!"
"Dude," I said to him, with a peculiar look to disguise my longing. "It's probably a terrorist phone or a kidnapper's phone. Watch yourself."
He ignored my suggestions and told me he was going to charge it and try to use it. We laughed.
I only have a week left on my Officeworks contract and I'm debating whether or not to ask if they'd be able to keep me on for just a few hours a week during uni. I put my availability down for until I start uni again (end of February) so I don't know what's going to happen. If they do keep me on, it means I'll have to stop tutoring my girls and that would cut me really deep. There are not enough hours in a week for this shit.
For the last of today's Officeworks Round Up, I want to share with you the conversation I had with one of the Officeworks tech guys during lunch today. He was telling me about how lonely he is in Perth. All his family is back in India and the six weeks a year he goes back to visit are the best weeks of his year. He went to TAFE/uni in Melbourne so all his uni friends are there. He said his whole life is just his morning job then Officeworks.
I suggested he join a club and asked if he played any sports (cricket). I told him to join a cricket club. He told me it would all be men.
"So you want to meet women, huh?" I said.
"A mixture," was the response.
I had no words. That was probably the most depressing and honest conversation I've ever had with someone who wasn't my best friend. And, honestly, I have no other suggestions for how he would be able to meet friends in Perth. Your ideas?
In other news, Hot Family Friend Guy (whom I have mentioned before) added me on facebook (after the 19 years I have known him and the five or so years I have had facebook). I am scared to accept the friend request because I'm scared he'll start talking to me. Ain't nobody got time (nor the energy) for dat. Or I may just be acting really egotistical and self-obsessed right now. Yolo.
J
Food Thoughts
1. I saw this amazing looking cashew chocolate cluster at the Margaret River Chocolate Factory in the city the other day. They also had macadamia chocolate clusters and almond chocolate clusters but the cashew one looked most amazing. I need it in me (sexually).
2. I'm craving froyo again. Again! I know what I'm going to be like when preggers (from the cashew chocolate cluster).
3. They changed curry puff suppliers at our local Oriental grocery store (as Big Michelle puts it. Does anyone remember the argument she and Kim had back in the day about whether they were Oriental grocery stores, Asian grocery stores or Vietnamese grocery stores?). They are more carby and pastry filled with no meat pieces inside. Good. I actually hate it when I eat things containing meat where I'm unable to see the meat explicitly. As in, I like to see what I'm eating. At least with vegetarian curry puffs, it's all just like a lump of potato and curry flavoured things.
4. I've been trying to convert people microwaved eggs. Everyone I come across. To strangers on the street, I yell, "HEY. MICROWAVE AN EGG. JUST TRY IT."
5. I had a salad for lunch yesterday for the first time in almost a year. It was bad because we had crappy lettuce and the avocado wasn't ripe yet. Nast. Otherwise, I enjoyed the freshness after a lot of (un)necessary indulgences this week.
J
2. I'm craving froyo again. Again! I know what I'm going to be like when preggers (from the cashew chocolate cluster).
3. They changed curry puff suppliers at our local Oriental grocery store (as Big Michelle puts it. Does anyone remember the argument she and Kim had back in the day about whether they were Oriental grocery stores, Asian grocery stores or Vietnamese grocery stores?). They are more carby and pastry filled with no meat pieces inside. Good. I actually hate it when I eat things containing meat where I'm unable to see the meat explicitly. As in, I like to see what I'm eating. At least with vegetarian curry puffs, it's all just like a lump of potato and curry flavoured things.
4. I've been trying to convert people microwaved eggs. Everyone I come across. To strangers on the street, I yell, "HEY. MICROWAVE AN EGG. JUST TRY IT."
5. I had a salad for lunch yesterday for the first time in almost a year. It was bad because we had crappy lettuce and the avocado wasn't ripe yet. Nast. Otherwise, I enjoyed the freshness after a lot of (un)necessary indulgences this week.
J
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Legit a Pill
There's this adorable guy at work whose name starts with R. He is slightly chubby (not even chubby; more like thick), acne-faced, nerdy and I find him, for some strange reason, stupidly sexy. I'm even starting to doubt my own tastes but I'm reassured by the fact that this guy is sweet, funny, smart, friendly, confident and he has this thing where he looks at you from underneath his eyelashes. Good Jesus, that look gets me every time.
I would describe him as Ed Sheeran Cute.
Today, at lunch, he was doing Japanese work from his TAFE book (he's visiting Japan this year) and when I asked him about it, he spent 10 minutes explaining the Japanese language. I didn't even care that it was boring as hell and I gave no fucks whatsoever; I was enraptured.
AND THEN I BURPED REALLY LOUDLY IN HIS PRESENCE. FUCK IT ALL TO HELL.
Technically, my work contract ends on the fourth of February and it's killing me. I feel sad.
J
I would describe him as Ed Sheeran Cute.
Today, at lunch, he was doing Japanese work from his TAFE book (he's visiting Japan this year) and when I asked him about it, he spent 10 minutes explaining the Japanese language. I didn't even care that it was boring as hell and I gave no fucks whatsoever; I was enraptured.
AND THEN I BURPED REALLY LOUDLY IN HIS PRESENCE. FUCK IT ALL TO HELL.
Technically, my work contract ends on the fourth of February and it's killing me. I feel sad.
J
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