I'm Not Josie Grosie!

The two for $10 leggings I bought for jogging last week are literally FALLING APART AT THE SEAMS. I'm so pressed right now. How is one supposed to jog in an efficient manner if they fear that, at any second, parts of their body they reserve for gynecological exams (if I ever actually get one, YOLO) will be exposed to God and all the other schmucks out there?

Speaking of jogging, it's going well. Thanks for asking. I have officially graduated to the next stage in my Couch to 5K plan (90 seconds jogging, two minutes walking. I know; extremity). In my worldly wisdom, I have decided I'm going to sign up for a marathon (I use that term without much background knowledge. I thought marathons were ridiculous lengths like 45K or some shit and ain't no way I'm doing that). I'm thinking the HBF Run For a Reason or the City to Surf as these give me sufficient time to train/not embarrass myself. I'm thinking I should also invest in leggings that don't double as fishnet stockings.

In the same vein, some goals for this year have been coursing through my mind for the last couple of days. Embrace:

1. Run a marathon (or at least a 10K).

2. Join the writers' club. If it doesn't happen this semester, I can comfortably call myself the biggest coward in the world.

3. Buy real jeans. No, not the $14.95 Frolick Green ones or some $10 travesty. Real jeans from a reputable store. So what if they're on sale for $20 (apparently, this never happens but a girl can dream)?!

4. Get a tattoo. I don't know, guys. I'm feeling the feels and two girls at work have amazing tatts and you know how hardcore I am (just see how I used the abbreviation "tatts" instead of the full word). I feel I need some sort of physical embodiment of my hardness for all the world to see. I'm thinking an outline of Taylor's hair on my ankle or something similarly attractive.

6. Go to med dinner.

7. Stop being Josie Grosie.

8. Reduce my meat intake. More because I can and it's supposed to be good for the environment etc. I'm getting increasingly picky about what types of meat I eat. I actually like (certain types of) meat a lot but I also rediscovered the joy of cooking and I'm generally too lazy to cook meat. Hence the (amazing) bean burgers I made yesterday. I'm not even going to try to be modest; they are so freaking delicious and I'm eating another one for lunch today. The secret? A shit tonne of curry powder.

There are other things on my mind but I forget them. This list may be updated later (or compressed into: 1. Achieve world record for most soft serves consumed).

J

Heavily Cottoned

This is bad. I want to name my firstborn Seth. This is really, really bad. Regardless, I am so ready for a Seth Cohen in my life.

I've also been reconsidering my whole penchant for pleather jackets. The thing is, I have reason to believe I sweat more than the average person (as attractive as that is). And the thing about pleather jackets is that they trap heat/bodily fluids in. This is not a good combination and leads to a lot of discomfort for the wearer of said jacket. Whilst I enjoy the whole pleather look and I am highly admirable of the bomber silhouette, I think I need to make a change here.

The solution? Bomber jacket silhouette + heavy cotton material. This is my quest for my next jacket. You're welcome for this post.

Speaking of clothing trends, one of my biggest regrets in life is that I never got to rock the denim mini skirt. I remember it being extremely popular in my late primary school years and being envious of these girls who could wear such small denim scraps with such pride. However, I was too young at the time to fully embrace my legs in their unshaven state. And now it is too late because the denim mini skirt trend has died out. I'm left all alone, skirtless and in emotional pain. I wish I could go back in time (seven years? Eight years?) and wear that skirt proudly.

In other news, I spent an excessive $5 for a new smartrider today because my old one cracked. CRACKED. You know how many soft serves you could buy with $5? I don't even want to think about it.

J

Inappropriate

I want to have babies (I originally wrote "sex" then thought that might be construed as "inappropriate" or "randy") with Adam Brody so bad that I can't hold my smile in whenever I see him on the computer screen as I watch multiple episodes of The OC. I need to stop watching this show before Marissa dies because I am going to be too emotionally invested and cry for days.

I am officially nine years late to the party. But his quick wit, nerdiness, droll voice, Jewfro, penchant for polos and skinny jeans all make me (I apologize for using this phrase and must insist that I am only using it now because I heard Stephen Merchant use it and it made me laugh so hard that I peed a little whilst cringing at the same time) a little sweaty down there.

I went Harbourtown shopping with Little Mishelle today and bought several items, including a new uni bag.  We spent at least 20 minutes in Strand Bags considering the various choices (about two). She's a good laugh.

J

HBGo

They're playing Regina Spektor on Girls. Jessa just showed a boob to her husband. I'm still mad that the only hot guy on the show is not with Marnie. And I don't really get why everyone hates Lena Dunham? I get that she's slobby and loud/foulmouthed but even after reading all her "controversial" and potentially/supposedly racist articles, I still don't get the hate.

I feel like if anyone read anything I write here, they would probably think I was racist/sexist. Half the blogs on the internet could be construed as rude/racist/sexist/prejudice depending on how they are read. Lena Dunham just likes to revel in her own quirky hipsterness.

Continuing to have a ball.

J

The OC

I'm not gonna lie.

I got sucked into watching The OC this arvo (then had another afternoon nap). I'm up to the fifth episode and all of a sudden... up pops Paul Wesley. But he's not playing little bitch, Stefan Salvatore. He's playing some kind of lobster shop bus boy hardcore gangster guy. It is extremely unsettling.

J

Puerta Rican!

http://ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com/75197592.html#cutid1

The last one literally made me gasp out loud in delight.

J

Blair Cohen

http://ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com/75183878.html#cutid1

I would approve of this so fucking much.

J

That Summer by Sarah Dessen

I've been sitting here for the last half hour thinking back to all social situations I've been in, in the past year or so, and cringing. It's approaching my bedtime (must prepare for intense face painting tomorrow) but I can't stop now.

I keep thinking about all the times I should have jumped, should have talked to that person, should have smiled more, should have introduced myself, should have tapped their shoulder, should have waved back. About the one time I was walking up to the bus stop and saw two girls I kind of knew waving in my direction. I couldn't tell if they were waving at me or to someone behind me (I honestly didn't know them that well). I sort of half smiled and I knew my facial expression was kind of neutral/angry (my neutral expression is kind of angry to begin with). I hate that. I hate it so much.

I should have yolo'd and plastered a huge grin on my face and waved back. Who cares if they weren't waving at me? We could have just had a laugh about it and maybe we would be best friends now.

This year is going to be different. I know it! I know it! I was going to leave this blog post until after the end of this holidays but I can't help it anymore.

This summer has the potential to be one of the most important of my youth. I have interacted with people, gained a lot of life experience and done something on my own. One of the reasons I feel so much happiness working at Officeworks is that I did it all on my own. I applied, I interviewed, I started working and I actually made friends there. I didn't have a crutch that I relied on. This university year, I'm going to join a club by myself. I'm not going to plead with people to come with me; I want to go by myself.

Time for bed now. I just finished watching The Amazing Spiderman and will probably have dreams about dating Andrew Garfield tonight. Again.

J

Inflatulation

Either I had a really weird dream last night or I was really farting through my ears. It felt so real though!

J

My New Pants

I bought jeans similar to these for $14.95 a few days ago:

In my head, that's what I look like whilst wearing them. All sleek but slightly country bumpkin. I call them my Frolick Green jeans (see what I did there?). 

Unfortunately, in real life, they show my crack if I bend over and are potentially a little too tight. VPL may be occurring but I'm scared to check. I know what you're thinking; "Why didn't you check before you bought them?" Well, because I saw LC wearing them and had to have them.

I've been spending a lot of money this week as I have been trying to "stock up" on necessities for uni. I've also been trying to be less cheap and buy better stuff. In my world, this translates to $10 shirts from Kmart and $15 flats from Target as opposed to the cheapest shit on the street.

J