You always know when I'm stressed out.
Not only do I get super emotional and teary but I break out like a mad dawg.
You could fry an egg using the oil on my face. It's actually really heinous and disgusting.
J
About Me
- Junaberry
- I'm a student from Australia who used to have a lot of time on her hands but doesn't have that much anymore. Now she has other stuff on her hands.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Friday, March 18, 2011
Good Karma to You Too
People at uni are so weird.
The lecturers are weird. My chem lecturer posted something like this on the discussion board:
"That's right. We are not posting your quiz scores until after the quiz closes. This is so that you don't guess questions but rather research into them, read the notes and the text books to reach a kind of understanding and nirvana.
Good karma,
Lecturer"
I mean, who says shit like that? Certainly not me. At the Local Correctional Centre (AKA my high school), it would have gone down something like this:
"NAH MATE, we ain't posting that shit up yet! You gotta figure that shit out yourself! No cheating lawl!"
Good God, I miss high school.
J
The lecturers are weird. My chem lecturer posted something like this on the discussion board:
"That's right. We are not posting your quiz scores until after the quiz closes. This is so that you don't guess questions but rather research into them, read the notes and the text books to reach a kind of understanding and nirvana.
Good karma,
Lecturer"
I mean, who says shit like that? Certainly not me. At the Local Correctional Centre (AKA my high school), it would have gone down something like this:
"NAH MATE, we ain't posting that shit up yet! You gotta figure that shit out yourself! No cheating lawl!"
Good God, I miss high school.
J
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Spotted
As pretty and rich and all that jazz that Blair is, I think I would rather die than be her. Her life seems all sorts of lonely and sad to me. Her best friend and closest thing to a sister is Serena? That's her confidante, her comfort, her family?
Her mother and stepfather live in another continent?
She has literally no one. Even Chuck's a dud despite all his soul-matey-ness. No one in her life is reliable or will be there for her forever or will love her unconditionally.
That and the show just keeps getting more ridiculous. For God's sake, get a dog or something, B.
J
Her mother and stepfather live in another continent?
She has literally no one. Even Chuck's a dud despite all his soul-matey-ness. No one in her life is reliable or will be there for her forever or will love her unconditionally.
That and the show just keeps getting more ridiculous. For God's sake, get a dog or something, B.
J
Happy x2 Joy x2
I feel so good today.
The weather is beautiful, I feel happy, I feel like I'm coping, I feel like I'm understanding, I feel like I have time to eat a plum, there's a family block of Kit Kat chocolate available for my consumption.
It's going to be a good day.
I turn 18 on Monday. How exciting...
J
The weather is beautiful, I feel happy, I feel like I'm coping, I feel like I'm understanding, I feel like I have time to eat a plum, there's a family block of Kit Kat chocolate available for my consumption.
It's going to be a good day.
I turn 18 on Monday. How exciting...
J
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Why Kemistry Sucks
Fuck it if chemistry is not the most heinous subject in the entire world.
I do not understand how people can base their whole lives on chemistry. How people can major in chemistry. Do PhD's in chemistry. Become chemists. Do chemistry for the rest of their lives?
The rest of their lives.
This is beyond ridiculous to me. Do I think chemistry is an important science? Absolutely. Thank you Jesus for all those insanely smart scientists who figured out all that shit. But me? Do I have to study chemistry? Should I study it when, in the end, I'm just memorizing formulas instead of understanding what the fuck I'm doing?
Basically, chemistry can suck my dick.
If only I had one.
J
I do not understand how people can base their whole lives on chemistry. How people can major in chemistry. Do PhD's in chemistry. Become chemists. Do chemistry for the rest of their lives?
The rest of their lives.
This is beyond ridiculous to me. Do I think chemistry is an important science? Absolutely. Thank you Jesus for all those insanely smart scientists who figured out all that shit. But me? Do I have to study chemistry? Should I study it when, in the end, I'm just memorizing formulas instead of understanding what the fuck I'm doing?
Basically, chemistry can suck my dick.
If only I had one.
J
Observations on Uni Life
Everyone. dresses. the. same. I swear to God, all girls wear the same floral, high waisted skirts (Good God, why did I buy two? I hate them already), slouchy, off the shoulder t-shirts, boyfriend cardigans, floral dresses and they all carry the same satchel/handbag.
It probably took me a while to notice this, but I think I can pretty much divide the appearance of young girls/ladies into two specific groups.
1. The hipster/bohemian look. Like I said before, this involves high waisted, floral skirts, big, loose tops, gladiator sandals or low-heeled oxfords. Go on pretty much any fashion blog nowadays (just not high fashion blogs) and you will see this exact style. Furthermore, they all wear cat eye makeup and wear their hair up in this really big messy bun atop their head. They often have long fringes as well and listen to She & Him.
2. The casual short-shorts look. I myself often fall into this look except I think I'm a bit more casual/reserved in this respect. This category involves short-shorts; denim, cotton whatever. Just as long as they're short. Top-wise, the shorts are often paired with singlets, either tight or loose-fitting and flowy ones. These girls are the girls who are not quite hipsters and haven't quite bought their pleather satchel. They may or may not decide to wear their hair up in massive buns. They also tend to wear more makeup, especially foundation.
3. Asian nerdy girls (like myself) can often be found in simple t-shirts and more conservative shorts or skinny jeans. They can sometimes be found wandering around campus in sunglasses, floppy hat and umbrella to protect them from UV rays and other missiles.
J
It probably took me a while to notice this, but I think I can pretty much divide the appearance of young girls/ladies into two specific groups.
1. The hipster/bohemian look. Like I said before, this involves high waisted, floral skirts, big, loose tops, gladiator sandals or low-heeled oxfords. Go on pretty much any fashion blog nowadays (just not high fashion blogs) and you will see this exact style. Furthermore, they all wear cat eye makeup and wear their hair up in this really big messy bun atop their head. They often have long fringes as well and listen to She & Him.
2. The casual short-shorts look. I myself often fall into this look except I think I'm a bit more casual/reserved in this respect. This category involves short-shorts; denim, cotton whatever. Just as long as they're short. Top-wise, the shorts are often paired with singlets, either tight or loose-fitting and flowy ones. These girls are the girls who are not quite hipsters and haven't quite bought their pleather satchel. They may or may not decide to wear their hair up in massive buns. They also tend to wear more makeup, especially foundation.
3. Asian nerdy girls (like myself) can often be found in simple t-shirts and more conservative shorts or skinny jeans. They can sometimes be found wandering around campus in sunglasses, floppy hat and umbrella to protect them from UV rays and other missiles.
J
Melodramatic Me
I'm so fucking melodramatic sometimes, it sickens me and hurts to read old blog posts. While I'm tempted to delete that shit, at the same time I want to keep it there so when I'm in a better mental place I can read back on it, remind myself to stop being a tosser and that things get better in the end.
Yes, I'm still stressed out but I've finally caught up on my lectures and am hoping this weekend can be reserved for reviewing the work I've done so far, hopefully finding some problem sets and practice questions I can do to test my knowledge and research my Foundations of Animal and Human Biology essay.
J
Yes, I'm still stressed out but I've finally caught up on my lectures and am hoping this weekend can be reserved for reviewing the work I've done so far, hopefully finding some problem sets and practice questions I can do to test my knowledge and research my Foundations of Animal and Human Biology essay.
J
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Losing It
I feel like I'm drowning right now. I'm drowning in this foreign terminology, this bizarre combinations of saccharides and polymers which I do not understand, hundreds of billions of different combinations which I'm supposed to memorise.
I feel like I have no one or no where to turn to. Everyone seems to know what they're doing but I am lost. What is wrong with me? Why can't I understand? Why am I the only one scared so much I can't stop worrying, I can't stop stressing, I can't stop crying?
How do I feel?
I feel so tired, it's like I can't move anymore. My body hurts, my head hurts. Everything is in pain. I can't explain this feeling of not just inadequacy but complete failure.
I know I will not pass. I know I will not succeed. But I don't know what to do about it.
I am completely lost.
J
I feel like I have no one or no where to turn to. Everyone seems to know what they're doing but I am lost. What is wrong with me? Why can't I understand? Why am I the only one scared so much I can't stop worrying, I can't stop stressing, I can't stop crying?
How do I feel?
I feel so tired, it's like I can't move anymore. My body hurts, my head hurts. Everything is in pain. I can't explain this feeling of not just inadequacy but complete failure.
I know I will not pass. I know I will not succeed. But I don't know what to do about it.
I am completely lost.
J
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Tears are for Tossers
I feel like everything's changing. I never thought I was one of those people who got really attached to things. But I guess going to the same school every day for six years is a lot to suddenly let go of. And seeing the same people for six years everyday.
I don't really know what's wrong with me because I know I should be out there, making friends and being... excited by this challenge. Instead, I just feel sad, like I want to go back to the way things were. All the times I've ever been depressed they were for really specific reasons. But now, I just have this general feeling of sadness and loneliness. Why do I miss the way things were so much when I've always been a promoter of change and of dynamic new things?
It's like I've given up caring about some things. I don't care about being healthy anymore; eating healthy or exercising. I don't care about keeping up with my friends even though I keep talking about how much I miss them. I don't have the energy or the will.
I turn 18 in just a couple of weeks. Less than a couple of weeks. Let's say nine days to be exact. I'll be 18. Do I feel excited or happy? Not at all. Not in the least. I feel indifferent to it, even a little depressed at the thought of it. I do not want to grow up. I do not want to change. I'm not mature; I'm essentially a child in a young adult's body. I crave shelter and nurturing and safety and familiarity. I don't have these things in the uni environment. I'm a dependant person. When I go to a public restroom, I want a friend to come with me. When my mother and I are at home, I will go to her. I will follow her around as she does things around the house just to be near her.
I might seem a little secluded now and then but often times I crave companionship because without it, my loneliness is unbearable. Whenever I'm sad, loneliness is the word I refer to. It's this feeling that no one understands or feels what I feel or is there to talk to me and make me feel better.
J
I don't really know what's wrong with me because I know I should be out there, making friends and being... excited by this challenge. Instead, I just feel sad, like I want to go back to the way things were. All the times I've ever been depressed they were for really specific reasons. But now, I just have this general feeling of sadness and loneliness. Why do I miss the way things were so much when I've always been a promoter of change and of dynamic new things?
It's like I've given up caring about some things. I don't care about being healthy anymore; eating healthy or exercising. I don't care about keeping up with my friends even though I keep talking about how much I miss them. I don't have the energy or the will.
I turn 18 in just a couple of weeks. Less than a couple of weeks. Let's say nine days to be exact. I'll be 18. Do I feel excited or happy? Not at all. Not in the least. I feel indifferent to it, even a little depressed at the thought of it. I do not want to grow up. I do not want to change. I'm not mature; I'm essentially a child in a young adult's body. I crave shelter and nurturing and safety and familiarity. I don't have these things in the uni environment. I'm a dependant person. When I go to a public restroom, I want a friend to come with me. When my mother and I are at home, I will go to her. I will follow her around as she does things around the house just to be near her.
I might seem a little secluded now and then but often times I crave companionship because without it, my loneliness is unbearable. Whenever I'm sad, loneliness is the word I refer to. It's this feeling that no one understands or feels what I feel or is there to talk to me and make me feel better.
J
Puck You, Miss
The gist of this blog has a simple premise.
Fuck uni. Fuck it all to hell.
I hate it. Especially the MGC unit. I want to take MGC out the back of some seedy bar/location and gouge out its eyeballs and fuck its polypetides. Basically, first lecture and the lecturer was launching right into it. I was still way back at, "What's a cell?" Every second sentence was about "polypeptides" and "phospholipids." Fuck you, man. He was throwing around "proteins and enzymes." When I think proteins, I think meat. Give me some fucking background. Tell me, "proteins are good stuff for cells!" not that "proteins are synthesized by the ribosome which uses data codes from the mRNA to make these proteins."
Furthermore, I have no friends, no life. I feel lonely, sad, depressed and like I'm failing. Swallowed whole by some old, monotone voice, rambling about molecules, genes and cells 24/7.
Sad.
J
Fuck uni. Fuck it all to hell.
I hate it. Especially the MGC unit. I want to take MGC out the back of some seedy bar/location and gouge out its eyeballs and fuck its polypetides. Basically, first lecture and the lecturer was launching right into it. I was still way back at, "What's a cell?" Every second sentence was about "polypeptides" and "phospholipids." Fuck you, man. He was throwing around "proteins and enzymes." When I think proteins, I think meat. Give me some fucking background. Tell me, "proteins are good stuff for cells!" not that "proteins are synthesized by the ribosome which uses data codes from the mRNA to make these proteins."
Furthermore, I have no friends, no life. I feel lonely, sad, depressed and like I'm failing. Swallowed whole by some old, monotone voice, rambling about molecules, genes and cells 24/7.
Sad.
J
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