I spent most of today stressing, feeling inadequate, feeling stupid, feeling like I'm going to fail. Then I went for a run and within the first five minutes, I thought to myself, "You got this. You might not know everything but you know enough to pass." Isn't that glorious? I love that running does that to me now. I feel like I've finally gotten over that overwhelming feeling that my lungs are going to collapse (T3 staging, lung cancer) and now I can actually enjoy running. I enjoy feeling my legs moving underneath me, I can somewhat detach myself from physical pain and weakness (except for the last five minutes of every run. Then it feels like chainsaws are slowly ripping into my muscles). Everything seems clearer and more peaceful when I run.
I've become one of those people who I hate.
I returned home and started studying for ID. I like to leave the night before an exam devoid of whatever material the exam is for. Even if that means studying for something else (I would preferably not study anything and just chill and watch TV or read a book or eat food. Yes, food is always good).
But then I felt overwhelmingly sad again. After this exam period, I have a lot of thinking and silent contemplation and shit to do. And plan for Europe!
J
2 comments:
Best of luck for your exam m'dear.
I know you can ace it.
I'll see you on the other side...
xx
thx brah
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