Soy Good

I feel two things right now:

1. Big Michelle is really sick of me talking about F.

2. I still want to talk about him regardless.

So mayhaps Big Michelle should not read this blog! Because I don't want to scare her off.

But before I get into that... It's so difficult organizing group study because of everyone's different timetables. Tomorrow, everyone's getting together for a review of the bio systems which is something I really wanted to do but I've got psyc lab at that time. And I know I can't demand everyone change because that would be bad but it is so frustrating because I feel like I'm missing out on the most important part.

I'm not going to talk about that anymore otherwise I'll get frustrated.

Let's take a step backwards about... four hours ago whilst I was walking to the Co-op to purchase some study notebooks (I have become quite taken with the little ones). Who should I see walking in the opposite direction to me towards FCP tute but You Know Who. F.

And I did that thing where you pretend you don't sort of see them until the last second. So I was like looking at my nails as I was walking until right as we were a couple of meters away and then I looked up and smiled. And he took his earphones out of his ear-holes and sort of did this adorable grin at me and said, "You're not going to FCP?" and I said, "Naw, I'm just getting something from the Co-op," and then we parted.

This was an auspicious start.

But things got better. We had to do this group discussion thing in groups of three. I wasn't with F sadly. But we got onto the floor to write down on our chart paper and I was sitting right next to F. And when the tutor started talking and we both got up from our leaning over positions, we were LITERALLY SITTING SIDE BY SIDE.

I'm sad. Shut up.
Well, sitting next to him was all good because our tutor ended up putting us into groups for this fact sheet we have to do for our portfolios and I ended up with F and this other girl.

Anyway, I always try to be super cas after that dream I had so I left without obviously waiting for him or anything but he occasionally does this thing where we're both walking in the same direction and he's originally behind and then he'll just sort of catch up and start walking abreast with me. Maybe this is just my delusion and I'm just seeing things in this beautiful but fictional way, but it's lovely. It's like he's too shy to do anything but he know if he walks next to me I'll start talking to him.

I start talking to him about our community placements. I was going to tell him my all-humiliating story but thought against it. Too soon. The wounds haven't healed. But we're just talking and talking. And then we start talking about Eurovision. It was lovely because we both have a fascination in Eurovision so the conversation was flowing and he asked if I liked the SBS commentary and I said, "Yes!" and then we talked about something else and he was laughing and OH GOD, HIS LAUGH IS LIKE STRAIGHT FROM THE HEAVENS OR SOME SHIT.

The bus was really full so we had to stand. And you know how there's two levels to the bus like a lower one at the front? He got up onto the upper level but I wasn't sure if I wanted to because... I don't know. I was probably on drugs or something. But he looked behind at me and saw that I wasn't getting up and he just sort of walked forward towards me a bit so we could talk on the bus ride.

AND OH MY GOD, IT WAS SO GOOD, SO GOOD, SOY GOOD, SOYA MILK.

Eventually, I had to hop up on the upper level as more kids got on the bus. And we talked some moaaarrrr.

But then awkward shit went down because everyone gets off at Esplanade while I get off at the next bus station. So because everyone was filing out the door I had to get off then back on again and I DIDN'T TURN BACK TO SAY GOODBYE AND WHEN I EVENTUALLY DID TURN BACK HE WAS LIKE LOOKING AT ME BUT I THINK HE TURNED AROUND BEFORE SEEING MY SMILE AND WAVE.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT.

That is all.

J

PS: However, I feel like we're actually friends now. Like it's become quite regular to walk to the bus together after tutes and labs. And it feels somewhat natural. Oooooh.