Manager's Specials

You know what tastes really good? Farmers' Union strawberry Greek yoghurt. But you know what tastes even better? Farmers' Union strawberry Greek yoghurt with chopped dates, bananas, tropical muesli and Be Natural cereal. Holy shit, I nearly died in my breakfast bowl. I spent most of last night concocting this pile of deliciousness:

I think my Nike Training Club app tried to kill me this morning. That or it malfunctioned something stupid. Or the people who created it are sadistic bastards. There I was, doing my Body Buffer Get Toned workout or whatever that shit is called. When all of a sudden... well, not all of a sudden because two minutes prior, I had done a two minute side plank. But then, all of a sudden, the app asked me to do another two minute side planks.

Two minute side planks, or any side plank for that matter, are what I consider "hell." Because they hurt a lot. They hurt my arms, my abs and my heart. The only thing that keeps me going whilst performing aforementioned side plank is the knowledge that it will soon be over and that it is contributing to my future abs of steel.

But two minute side planks in quick succession are even more uncool. As such, I was very angry at Nike Training Club this morning. But then I ate my Farmers' Union strawberry Greek yoghurt with chopped dates, bananas, tropical muesli and Be Natural cereal and quickly forgot what immensity of pain I had been in.

After breakfast (I am writing this like a back-to-school, what-did-you-do-during/on-your-holidays recount even though I am writing at 11.22am and I ate breakfast at 9am so what is this farce? But step off, okay?), I went to the local IGA to pick up some things. I quickly realized that I am the biggest sucker for specials. You know how they strategically have all those coloured tickets telling you that oh shit, this item is on special? You are about to save 20c! This item is only $1.06 per 100g! Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit!

I fall trap to that shit every single time. My mind goes haywire. I suddenly see all these pennies I will be saving if I buy that pack of seaweed Sakatas. And my God, those seaweed Sakatas will surely taste better with the knowledge that I saved 46 whole cents on them!

So, I did it. I took the plunge and bought those damn seaweed Sakatas. But I think the Gods were out to get me because, as I sat in the car, perusing my (lengthy... There were many Christmas and Manager's specials at IGA today) receipt, I saw that I had been charged $2.45 instead of the sale price, $1.99, for my seaweed Sakatas.

My heart plummeted. My stomach fell out of my ass. The world collapsed around me. I had a Tolkien moment with fiery blazes whirling and everything sounding like I was underwater.

But I had to move on. I just had to. There were beansprouts to buy and coffee pastilles to ponder over. So, I did. And I think I am a better woman for it.

And, to end on a very different and random note, my brother has decided to open up a taco food truck after he graduates (instead of going into investment banking, earning lots of money, slowly developing alcoholism and learning to hate everything in life). He has apparently been making many different types of tacos whilst I have been traipsing through Europe (complete Flickr album to come). I think this is one of the few of his business/social enterprise endeavours that I can actually get behind, mostly because it involves food.

He has actually asked me to join him, albeit in a joking manner. But I am seriously considering it. I will probably develop dessert tacos or just start selling baked goods out the other window of the food truck. Or develop my own food truck selling date and walnut loaf and park my truck next to his. I won't be competition as we will be selling completely different things. Instead, our affiliated food truck businesses will bring us closer together in our brotherly/sisterly affection.

Amen.

J