Lavatory Findings

Remember when I said I would report back with my lavatory findings after stuffing my stomach with as much fibre as I could get? Well, I'm back and happy to report that things are going well. Except I just ate a 2kg salad (this is no exaggeration) and am now in excruciating pain. Note to self: eating 2kg of pure fibre may not be the best idea.

Regardless, I'm kind of pleased that I haven't puked from the sheer volume of greens I am currently consuming. I also haven't puked from my ass either (read: diarrhoea). This is comforting as I literally didn't poop for the first five days of my European Adventure. Is this too much information? Is this disgusting you? If so, read on because you really should be exposed to this level of bodily scrutiny to prepare yourself for even more confronting things later in life.

So, there I was, in my London hostel (http://www.tripadvisor.com.au/Hotel_Review-g186338-d209147-Reviews-Clink_261_Hostel-London_England.html), being all young and backpackery and constipated. I was complaining every morning and every night of my inability to process and pass the contents of my digestive tract. I was so mad. I was so uncomfortable. And then, one night, I woke up at about 2am.

"The time is now," my mind said to itself. I climbed down from the top bunk, probably waking up Big Michelle and Little Mishelle in the process, and raced to the communal female toilet. I walked out of that toilet about three minutes later, light as a feather, physically, mentally and emotionally. It was a stunning experience.

J