The Travesty of Non-Elasticized Waists

The most pertinent issue at hand right now is the fact that I feel uncomfortable in anything more than pyjamas.

It's probably due to months of slothing around in barely anything more binding than elasticized shorts and massive, oversized t-shirts. And then, every other week, I have to get dress in incredibly uncomfortable dress pants and shirts with buttons and things with tight sleeves; periods of time which I tend to try and block out.

My oversized, overgrown belly screams, "What is happening?! What is this?! A button sticking into me?!" My flabby arms wail, "Good God! This is a travesty! I cannot feel myself anymore!" The worst thing is that I planned on wearing mostly shorts and t-shirts and jeans to uni when uni starts... in less than a week (good God! This is a travesty!). Add to this my love for elasticized waists and I have to admit I'm dreading starting uni. I find t-shirts and jeans uncomfortable now and am dreading wearing proper clothes every single day. Not that I ever really found jeans that comfortable. I mean, buttons and zippers? No one wants that. Hence I bought some jeggings. But even jeggings are uncomfortable because they continuously slip down and bare my ass crack to the whole world and God to see.

What is the solution to this problem? Dresses/skirts?

Hell no. Loyal readers will remember my great and largely repetitive rants about why dresses and skirts suck ass beyond all other clothes. For the gist of it, when you're running away from a murdering rapist/hungry zombie do you really want to be hampered by things like clingy skirts and flippy dresses? The thing is, it's incredibly difficult to run in skirts/dresses. It's like sticking two legs in one leg sleeve (leg sleeve?). Think about it carefully, folks. Furthermore, despite having more important things than your modesty when running away from murdering rapists/hungry zombies, the fact is you're probably going to be holding your skirt/dress down if you're wearing one that tends to flip/ride up. It's just habit and you probably don't want to be holding down your skirt/dress when running from flesh eating/invading beasts.

Back to the matter at hand.

Can I really wear elasticized waisted bottoms to uni or is that a travesty in itself?

J