Dear Self,
Never bring up anything even mildly interesting in the presence of your father.
Remember this night. You mentioned the ethics essay you're just starting to write. Your father spent the next 20 minutes lecturing you about ethics, ethical principles, how you should write the essay, the right structure of an essay, boring shit and more shit. You migrated from the dinner table to your desk; he followed you and continued to talk. You rested your head on your desk and closed your eyes; he continued to talk.
Remember, remember, the 5th of March.
I have to add this as a final note, Self... You need to stop being an idiot about boys. You always manage to jump from having no feelings whatsoever about a boy to suddenly wanting to Settle Down (Kimbra style. We'll name our firstborn Nebraska Jones) with them. This is stupid and a product of too much television and rom coms. Next time, try to remember all the times you put a boy you barely knew up on a pedestal only to find out they're just a normal, average (or < average) guy.
Also, good luck for your first Writers' meeting tomorrow!
J
About Me
- Junaberry
- I'm a student from Australia who used to have a lot of time on her hands but doesn't have that much anymore. Now she has other stuff on her hands.
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Lab Safety Quiz
I am currently completing my mandatory lab safety quiz. I just got to this question (intense MCQ occurring):
It is making me laugh a lot more than I should. I am imagining all options occurring...
Someone standing in the lab in their lab gown hacking away at their hair. Someone leaning over a dish of agar jelly with one hand holding their hair in a ponytail. Someone doing the boring thing. Someone standing outside the lab with their face pressed to the glass.
I am also laughing at the above picture of the two students clearly having a pleasant chat. The female seems to be telling some hilarious joke or maybe doing an impersonation. The male is holding in a chortle or is just trying to appear amused. It's difficult to tell.
I want to know who the above characters are. Were they students of the uni? If so, have they already graduated? Did they get paid for their modelling expertise? Did the Asian dude have to grow out his hair specifically to demonstrate the need to tie it up in a very fetching ponytail for lab seshes?
What's the deal? I need to know. Most of all, I need to know what intriguing/exhilarating story Blondie is telling because I may or may not need to incorporate it into my own stand-up routine.
J
It is making me laugh a lot more than I should. I am imagining all options occurring...
Someone standing in the lab in their lab gown hacking away at their hair. Someone leaning over a dish of agar jelly with one hand holding their hair in a ponytail. Someone doing the boring thing. Someone standing outside the lab with their face pressed to the glass.
I am also laughing at the above picture of the two students clearly having a pleasant chat. The female seems to be telling some hilarious joke or maybe doing an impersonation. The male is holding in a chortle or is just trying to appear amused. It's difficult to tell.
I want to know who the above characters are. Were they students of the uni? If so, have they already graduated? Did they get paid for their modelling expertise? Did the Asian dude have to grow out his hair specifically to demonstrate the need to tie it up in a very fetching ponytail for lab seshes?
What's the deal? I need to know. Most of all, I need to know what intriguing/exhilarating story Blondie is telling because I may or may not need to incorporate it into my own stand-up routine.
J
Monday, March 4, 2013
Lady and the Tramp
This morning, I woke up at 6am and had an amazing run. It was all thanks to this somewhat pudgy middle-aged lady walk-running the same route as me.
I saw her ahead of me as I was running (I alternate with walking). As I passed, I said, "Good morning," and she responded curtly and somewhat rudely (seriously, the youth are not the problem in this society). I ran past, hair streaming behind me (as much as hair in a ponytail can stream). After a while, I switched to walking and then I heard Lady pounding away behind me. She jogged past me. I looked at her as she ran ahead of me and thought, "You will never be able to hold your head up high again if you let this Lady overtake you."
I'm a healthy 19 year old! I'm virile! These are my best years!
As you may (or probably not) know, I am doing the Couch to 5k program which involves levels and different timed intervals of walk-running. Usually, I follow it to the letter but this morning I put my foot down. Instead of completing my walking interval, I quickly transitioned to a brisk jog.
For a while, I kept pace with Lady because I thought it would be incredibly awkward if I passed her. But then I remembered how curtly she had responded to my overwhelmingly friendly greeting (maybe it was too overwhelming?) so I hastened and overtook that bitch.
I ran until I couldn't see her anymore (yes, I looked back regularly to check for my arch nemesis) and then started walking again. But that was when I heard the rubbish truck behind me. I thought my entire run was ruined (I think it would be slightly uncomfortable to run abreast to a rubbish truck) but somehow I found the strength in my lactically-acidic legs (yes, I made that term up) to keep running.
Before I knew it, I was home and could enjoy a well deserved hot cross bun.
This blog post is stupid. I'm the tramp.
J
I saw her ahead of me as I was running (I alternate with walking). As I passed, I said, "Good morning," and she responded curtly and somewhat rudely (seriously, the youth are not the problem in this society). I ran past, hair streaming behind me (as much as hair in a ponytail can stream). After a while, I switched to walking and then I heard Lady pounding away behind me. She jogged past me. I looked at her as she ran ahead of me and thought, "You will never be able to hold your head up high again if you let this Lady overtake you."
I'm a healthy 19 year old! I'm virile! These are my best years!
As you may (or probably not) know, I am doing the Couch to 5k program which involves levels and different timed intervals of walk-running. Usually, I follow it to the letter but this morning I put my foot down. Instead of completing my walking interval, I quickly transitioned to a brisk jog.
For a while, I kept pace with Lady because I thought it would be incredibly awkward if I passed her. But then I remembered how curtly she had responded to my overwhelmingly friendly greeting (maybe it was too overwhelming?) so I hastened and overtook that bitch.
I ran until I couldn't see her anymore (yes, I looked back regularly to check for my arch nemesis) and then started walking again. But that was when I heard the rubbish truck behind me. I thought my entire run was ruined (I think it would be slightly uncomfortable to run abreast to a rubbish truck) but somehow I found the strength in my lactically-acidic legs (yes, I made that term up) to keep running.
Before I knew it, I was home and could enjoy a well deserved hot cross bun.
This blog post is stupid. I'm the tramp.
J
Angry at Harry
Scenario I have to write an ethics essay about:
Harry is tested for HIV after having been on a holiday and is found to be positive. In talking to his doctor about the result, Harry agrees that there is a risk to Jon, his partner, but refuses to allow him to be told. He claims that Jon will become very jealous and upset and might walk out on him. He also resists the idea that he should start using condoms because he believes this will make John suspected there is something wrong.
Can I just say what a fucking douchebag this Harry person is?
First of all, he goes on a holiday without his partner, Jon. Poor Jon was probably slaving away at work for that time, wondering why his supposedly loving partner dogged him to go HAVE SEX WITH OTHER PEOPLE ON HIS HOLIDAY.
Harry, get it together, man.
Okay, fine. Maybe Jon didn't have enough money to go on a holiday and Harry is a stingy bastard. Maybe Jon couldn't get leave from work. Maybe Jon gets travel sickness or has an irrational fear of holidays. Who knows? But I don't think this justifies HAVING SEX WITH OTHER PEOPLE ON YOUR HOLIDAY.
POOR FUCKING JON.
As if this isn't enough, Harry comes back, finds out he has HIV then WON'T USE A CONDOM.
PROTIP: USE A CONDOM IF YOU HAVE HIV.
So Harry is scared Jon will walk out on him if he finds out? Wouldn't it be worse if you DIDN'T tell him THEN he got HIV? DON'T YOU THINK HE MIGHT WALK OUT ON YOU THEN?
I have many feelings about this scenario.
J
Harry is tested for HIV after having been on a holiday and is found to be positive. In talking to his doctor about the result, Harry agrees that there is a risk to Jon, his partner, but refuses to allow him to be told. He claims that Jon will become very jealous and upset and might walk out on him. He also resists the idea that he should start using condoms because he believes this will make John suspected there is something wrong.
Can I just say what a fucking douchebag this Harry person is?
First of all, he goes on a holiday without his partner, Jon. Poor Jon was probably slaving away at work for that time, wondering why his supposedly loving partner dogged him to go HAVE SEX WITH OTHER PEOPLE ON HIS HOLIDAY.
Harry, get it together, man.
Okay, fine. Maybe Jon didn't have enough money to go on a holiday and Harry is a stingy bastard. Maybe Jon couldn't get leave from work. Maybe Jon gets travel sickness or has an irrational fear of holidays. Who knows? But I don't think this justifies HAVING SEX WITH OTHER PEOPLE ON YOUR HOLIDAY.
POOR FUCKING JON.
As if this isn't enough, Harry comes back, finds out he has HIV then WON'T USE A CONDOM.
PROTIP: USE A CONDOM IF YOU HAVE HIV.
So Harry is scared Jon will walk out on him if he finds out? Wouldn't it be worse if you DIDN'T tell him THEN he got HIV? DON'T YOU THINK HE MIGHT WALK OUT ON YOU THEN?
I have many feelings about this scenario.
J
Sunday, March 3, 2013
Places I'd Never Been
I just stayed up to the watch the end of Graham Norton (which, coincidentally, is 10.30pm which isn't late at all but I need at least 10 hours of sleep if I'm going to jog in the morning...) to watch Taylor Swift perform.
And I nearly saw her undercarriage.
Her dress was so bloody short and she kept bending over. I was not ready to perform a gynaecological exam on anyone, let alone my musical idol.
She sang decently though. Now waiting to watch her five minute interview.
J
And I nearly saw her undercarriage.
Her dress was so bloody short and she kept bending over. I was not ready to perform a gynaecological exam on anyone, let alone my musical idol.
She sang decently though. Now waiting to watch her five minute interview.
J
An Interview With Mr. Grant
In year nine English, the AE class had an assignment to interview someone and then present it. If you must know, Kim and I interviewed my next door neighbour at the time but never got around to writing it up (oops)...
After spending last night reading through Helen's old transcript of the interview she did with Laura and Madeline, I had to post said interview here fully. No changes. All grammatical errors intact (I love that Helen now gives shit to everyone who is grammatically incorrect).
For some back story (for those who have forgotten or were not in our class), Mr. Grant was our sports teacher and a Canadian. He pronounced Freddos as Fraydos (I still remember Helen laughing at this over and over again).
Now, enjoy it in all its unadulterated perfection:
Laura: Do you give us permission to record this interview and use the information for our presentation?
M. Grant: Yes
Madeline: What would be one way you would describe your childhood?
MG: um… that’s a good question
Helen: into the microphone
MG: in terms of anything, uh… ok… if I were to rate it out of ten I would give it a nine out of ten. Um… cause I had a really god mother and father and they put me through hockey, they took me to all of my games as well as all of my brothers, they did everything for me, birthdays, Christmases, they took us up to the cottage, skiing, can’t really complain about anything. To sum it up, fantastic.
Alex: Were your parents the reason you wanted to be a teacher or…?
MG: uhh… no.
A: ok.
M or L: What inspired you to be a teacher?
MG: Well, I always wanted to be a police officer, however because I have bad vision. I couldn’t get into the police force. So a friend of mine was doing teaching and said “Hey Matt, you gotta come to uni, come to uni, come to brock” – that’s the university I went to – and he told me all about the teaching course and so the next year I just started it and I’ve been going from there. But teaching was always on my list as something to do.
L: did you have to pay your own way through uni or college?
MG: I paid my way while I was actually working full time so I would work shift all night and then I’d get up and go to school. Or I would go to sleep for a few hours and then go to school.
A: how would you have the time do all your work?
MG: I didn’t have much time. I had a pretty relaxed job and it paid pretty well so I would bring my work, my schoolwork into work and do it there. My job, a lot of guys were actually, if you had your job one right then, if I had done my job right then I could actually go to sleep for about 4 or 5 hours, if I slept, I would never sleep on the job… I would do my homework.
L: Were you a bouncer at any point of your life?
MG: so then I did a four year uni degree so after the third year I switched jobs and they put me on a different shift schedule 12 hour shifts and I wasn’t able to do both so I had to quit my job and that’s when I started doing security with my cousin. And that was only on Friday and Saturday nights and I wasn’t making a lot of money.
A: What did you do outside work and school? What did you do in your free time?
MG: um I was doing, that was my fourth year of uni and in terms of workload I was doing a lot of course work so I was doing a lot of home work and stuff and I had to do a lot of volunteer hours, volunteering in high schools and coaching and stuff like that.
M: Did you have anytime to do anything besides your homework?
MG: yes of course.
M: then what did you do?
[laughter]
MG: uhh.. played sports and stuff on sport teams I played um… recreational ice hockey, basketball, yea I guess that was about it, and you know, socializing with friends, watching the hockey games, basketball games during the week.
A: Did you ever think of any of those as a career?
MG: you mean the sports? Probably when I was young. Til I realized I was not good enough.
A: That’s harsh (!)
MG: well you know, you know when you young its really hard to make that kinda job.
M: Did you have any idol or inspiration when you were growing up?
MG: um.. yea probably like, most NHL players wayne gretzky, and for basketball most definitely Michael jordan, have you heard of Michael Jordan?
[agreement chatter]
MG: well yea.
MG: Well I actually loved the balls, I used to watch them all the time with Michael Jordan, absolutely loved them.
L: How long have you been teaching for?
MG: … 6 months.
Helen: wow your old.
[laughter]
H: why did you come to Australia?
MG: I had to come to do my teaching degree because I was on the waiting list back home because its really hard to get in to teaching at home.
L: So when you leave, are you going to be put on another waiting list to get a job?
MG: you have to apply to get a job so I wouldn’t necessarily have a job back home.
M: What would you do if you were put on to another waiting list to get a job?
MG: I was on a waiting list to get into the final year of school, like, the year of teaching, I wasn’t on the waiting list for a job, I was on a list to get into uni. So I came here to do uni.
M: but hat would you do if you go home and there is no jobs available? What job would you do?
MG: I don’t really know… maybe work in a bar or something.
H: ambitious…
[laughter]
MG: Well I would definitely would, it would just be a matter of time before til I’d get a job teaching. Or I would go somewhere else maybe. If there were no jobs, a friend of mine sed that he’s teaching in North West territories of Canada, and they pay really well. But, that’s if you want to go up there. That is cold.
H: so wouldn’t you be able to come back to Australia?
MG: would I ne able to? I can stay til January im just leaving because this jobs over and the Canadian school starts in September so if I leave in august I figure I can get a job and go from there. There on summer break right now.
M: How is life here compared to life in Canada?
MG: um… in terms of …?
L: in terms of your opinion.
MG: How it affects me, being here without family and all the friends you grew up with and that’s a lot different cause it feels like your on your own. In terms of weather and the people and the [h: students] stuff here, its fantastic. Its been great.
H: so you don’t have anyone you know here?
MG: yea like friends I met last year through uni and stuff. There’s a couple.
M: So you have no relatives or …?
MG: No. And that makes you really relies how important family is, I know that’s cliché, but it really does mean something when your away for a long period of time.
L: What part of Canada did you live in? [A: We need details]
MG: Toronto Canada its in Ontario.
A: In school, were you classified as a trouble maker or the complete opposite?
MG: I was in between, I was doing well until about year 10, and that’s wen I just started being a bone head for the last couple of years, adolescence being stupid and yeah. 14, 15, 16 year old… but up until then I was a good student.
A: Did anything provoke that or…?
MG: I think just going through puberty and rules and parents…
M: If you weren’t a teacher, what career path would you have followed?
MG: maybe … uhhh… an electrician.
L: why would you be an electrician?
MG: I don’t know. It wasn’t until recently cos a friend recently got into it, and I thought, maybe at this age, I would’ve gone into it. I never thought that before yea I don’t know. Maybe um… maybe the window person at hungry jacks.
H: No you have to start as a kitchen hand first and you progress.
MG: but see yea, that’s what I would want, to be that window person.
L: what are your future ambitions?
MG: ive thought about that a lot lately cause I wasn’t sure whether or not I was gonna stay here. So my plan right now is … they’re always changing for whatever reasons… is to go home, start working at home and then as a teacher you can work as a teacher for 4 years… sorry you work for 5 years and then u get that last yar pff with 80% of you pay, so I an do that and then come back here in like, 6 years, and maybe teach for the year, cos I really enjoy it here. Yea so that’s probably what I would like to do, and then get married and have two kids a boy and a boy. No a boy and a girl. Boy first though…
H: how old are you?
MG: 28.
L: do you think you will keep in contact with the people you’ve met here?
MG: yes, through email definitely. i have not, or have I wrote a letter, no I don’t think I have, oh I have written a letter.
L or M: Do you think there’s a difference in the education standards from Canada to Australia?
MG: definitely. firstly the leveling system and second of all in terms of the TEE exams they don’t do them at home. ------ high school at home its year 9, 10, 11 and 12, there’s no seven and eights in the school. There’s no little kids running around the school and there’s no big kids so I think that’s a big influence on them. The Canadian high schools, basically in year nine you have to decide whether you are going to go to college, which is like trades sort of thing, or university which would be the academic sort of thing. So you decide that in year nine basically and then your path is basically changes from there, unless you decide to swap, which would be hard going from the easier college choices to the harder university choices. So I don’t like the fact that at home your basically deciding what you are going to do in year nine. Where I think that’s too young.
H: so what’s the actual difference between university and college? Cos I have a friend…
MG: you can go from high school to college to uni, or going straight to either one from high school. College is like trades and stuff, uni is more like advanced things. But a lot of people would do college for two years and then go to uni.
[end]
J
After spending last night reading through Helen's old transcript of the interview she did with Laura and Madeline, I had to post said interview here fully. No changes. All grammatical errors intact (I love that Helen now gives shit to everyone who is grammatically incorrect).
For some back story (for those who have forgotten or were not in our class), Mr. Grant was our sports teacher and a Canadian. He pronounced Freddos as Fraydos (I still remember Helen laughing at this over and over again).
Now, enjoy it in all its unadulterated perfection:
Laura: Do you give us permission to record this interview and use the information for our presentation?
M. Grant: Yes
Madeline: What would be one way you would describe your childhood?
MG: um… that’s a good question
Helen: into the microphone
MG: in terms of anything, uh… ok… if I were to rate it out of ten I would give it a nine out of ten. Um… cause I had a really god mother and father and they put me through hockey, they took me to all of my games as well as all of my brothers, they did everything for me, birthdays, Christmases, they took us up to the cottage, skiing, can’t really complain about anything. To sum it up, fantastic.
Alex: Were your parents the reason you wanted to be a teacher or…?
MG: uhh… no.
A: ok.
M or L: What inspired you to be a teacher?
MG: Well, I always wanted to be a police officer, however because I have bad vision. I couldn’t get into the police force. So a friend of mine was doing teaching and said “Hey Matt, you gotta come to uni, come to uni, come to brock” – that’s the university I went to – and he told me all about the teaching course and so the next year I just started it and I’ve been going from there. But teaching was always on my list as something to do.
L: did you have to pay your own way through uni or college?
MG: I paid my way while I was actually working full time so I would work shift all night and then I’d get up and go to school. Or I would go to sleep for a few hours and then go to school.
A: how would you have the time do all your work?
MG: I didn’t have much time. I had a pretty relaxed job and it paid pretty well so I would bring my work, my schoolwork into work and do it there. My job, a lot of guys were actually, if you had your job one right then, if I had done my job right then I could actually go to sleep for about 4 or 5 hours, if I slept, I would never sleep on the job… I would do my homework.
L: Were you a bouncer at any point of your life?
MG: so then I did a four year uni degree so after the third year I switched jobs and they put me on a different shift schedule 12 hour shifts and I wasn’t able to do both so I had to quit my job and that’s when I started doing security with my cousin. And that was only on Friday and Saturday nights and I wasn’t making a lot of money.
A: What did you do outside work and school? What did you do in your free time?
MG: um I was doing, that was my fourth year of uni and in terms of workload I was doing a lot of course work so I was doing a lot of home work and stuff and I had to do a lot of volunteer hours, volunteering in high schools and coaching and stuff like that.
M: Did you have anytime to do anything besides your homework?
MG: yes of course.
M: then what did you do?
[laughter]
MG: uhh.. played sports and stuff on sport teams I played um… recreational ice hockey, basketball, yea I guess that was about it, and you know, socializing with friends, watching the hockey games, basketball games during the week.
A: Did you ever think of any of those as a career?
MG: you mean the sports? Probably when I was young. Til I realized I was not good enough.
A: That’s harsh (!)
MG: well you know, you know when you young its really hard to make that kinda job.
M: Did you have any idol or inspiration when you were growing up?
MG: um.. yea probably like, most NHL players wayne gretzky, and for basketball most definitely Michael jordan, have you heard of Michael Jordan?
[agreement chatter]
MG: well yea.
MG: Well I actually loved the balls, I used to watch them all the time with Michael Jordan, absolutely loved them.
L: How long have you been teaching for?
MG: … 6 months.
Helen: wow your old.
[laughter]
H: why did you come to Australia?
MG: I had to come to do my teaching degree because I was on the waiting list back home because its really hard to get in to teaching at home.
L: So when you leave, are you going to be put on another waiting list to get a job?
MG: you have to apply to get a job so I wouldn’t necessarily have a job back home.
M: What would you do if you were put on to another waiting list to get a job?
MG: I was on a waiting list to get into the final year of school, like, the year of teaching, I wasn’t on the waiting list for a job, I was on a list to get into uni. So I came here to do uni.
M: but hat would you do if you go home and there is no jobs available? What job would you do?
MG: I don’t really know… maybe work in a bar or something.
H: ambitious…
[laughter]
MG: Well I would definitely would, it would just be a matter of time before til I’d get a job teaching. Or I would go somewhere else maybe. If there were no jobs, a friend of mine sed that he’s teaching in North West territories of Canada, and they pay really well. But, that’s if you want to go up there. That is cold.
H: so wouldn’t you be able to come back to Australia?
MG: would I ne able to? I can stay til January im just leaving because this jobs over and the Canadian school starts in September so if I leave in august I figure I can get a job and go from there. There on summer break right now.
M: How is life here compared to life in Canada?
MG: um… in terms of …?
L: in terms of your opinion.
MG: How it affects me, being here without family and all the friends you grew up with and that’s a lot different cause it feels like your on your own. In terms of weather and the people and the [h: students] stuff here, its fantastic. Its been great.
H: so you don’t have anyone you know here?
MG: yea like friends I met last year through uni and stuff. There’s a couple.
M: So you have no relatives or …?
MG: No. And that makes you really relies how important family is, I know that’s cliché, but it really does mean something when your away for a long period of time.
L: What part of Canada did you live in? [A: We need details]
MG: Toronto Canada its in Ontario.
A: In school, were you classified as a trouble maker or the complete opposite?
MG: I was in between, I was doing well until about year 10, and that’s wen I just started being a bone head for the last couple of years, adolescence being stupid and yeah. 14, 15, 16 year old… but up until then I was a good student.
A: Did anything provoke that or…?
MG: I think just going through puberty and rules and parents…
M: If you weren’t a teacher, what career path would you have followed?
MG: maybe … uhhh… an electrician.
L: why would you be an electrician?
MG: I don’t know. It wasn’t until recently cos a friend recently got into it, and I thought, maybe at this age, I would’ve gone into it. I never thought that before yea I don’t know. Maybe um… maybe the window person at hungry jacks.
H: No you have to start as a kitchen hand first and you progress.
MG: but see yea, that’s what I would want, to be that window person.
L: what are your future ambitions?
MG: ive thought about that a lot lately cause I wasn’t sure whether or not I was gonna stay here. So my plan right now is … they’re always changing for whatever reasons… is to go home, start working at home and then as a teacher you can work as a teacher for 4 years… sorry you work for 5 years and then u get that last yar pff with 80% of you pay, so I an do that and then come back here in like, 6 years, and maybe teach for the year, cos I really enjoy it here. Yea so that’s probably what I would like to do, and then get married and have two kids a boy and a boy. No a boy and a girl. Boy first though…
H: how old are you?
MG: 28.
L: do you think you will keep in contact with the people you’ve met here?
MG: yes, through email definitely. i have not, or have I wrote a letter, no I don’t think I have, oh I have written a letter.
L or M: Do you think there’s a difference in the education standards from Canada to Australia?
MG: definitely. firstly the leveling system and second of all in terms of the TEE exams they don’t do them at home. ------ high school at home its year 9, 10, 11 and 12, there’s no seven and eights in the school. There’s no little kids running around the school and there’s no big kids so I think that’s a big influence on them. The Canadian high schools, basically in year nine you have to decide whether you are going to go to college, which is like trades sort of thing, or university which would be the academic sort of thing. So you decide that in year nine basically and then your path is basically changes from there, unless you decide to swap, which would be hard going from the easier college choices to the harder university choices. So I don’t like the fact that at home your basically deciding what you are going to do in year nine. Where I think that’s too young.
H: so what’s the actual difference between university and college? Cos I have a friend…
MG: you can go from high school to college to uni, or going straight to either one from high school. College is like trades and stuff, uni is more like advanced things. But a lot of people would do college for two years and then go to uni.
[end]
J
Saturday, March 2, 2013
Smile With Your Eyes
I had this obese middle aged man say I have a great smile today at work. IT MADE MY FUCKING DAY.
For the next two Saturdays, R is going to be working at the same time as me. Ooh. I've been reading some of our old blogs from high school and it is depressing me greatly that I still have the mentality we had as 15 and 16 year olds. I'm still mooning hopelessly over guys and thinking about how great tomorrow will be instead of today.
I have nothing left to say. Except that my brother's girlfriend came over for dinner tonight (I know; the fact that he has found someone disgusts me) and mother made almond jelly dessert. Eating it was like pouring acid into my eyes and licking my own faeces. Why do almond flavoured things taste so terribly bad when almonds themselves are delicious? It's so wrong. Ethically.
Actually, I have more to add. I keep thinking about this time in year 11/12 when Kim and Travis were "going out." And by "going out" I mean they were maybe holding hands, looking dreamily into each others' eyes and maybe there was some private masturbation going on. Little Mishelle and I came up with this fabulous plan and then we executed it; we told Kim that Travis had an erection (of the penis) while they were sitting together at lunch.
THIS STILL MAKES ME LAUGH.
Actually, I have more to add. I keep thinking about this time in year 11/12 when Kim and Travis were "going out." And by "going out" I mean they were maybe holding hands, looking dreamily into each others' eyes and maybe there was some private masturbation going on. Little Mishelle and I came up with this fabulous plan and then we executed it; we told Kim that Travis had an erection (of the penis) while they were sitting together at lunch.
THIS STILL MAKES ME LAUGH.
J
One a Penny, Two a Penny
Mother bought a sack (I really like the word "sack") of hot cross buns and they're sitting on the kitchen counter. I want to eat one. I'm not hungry; I am just craving the spicy sweetness, the brittle chewiness of the white icing. I crave it with a mortal weakness.
And now I'm thinking about Lord of the Rings.
Hot cross buns should not be associated with all that is holy; they are the Devil's buns. Who else could conjure such a delicious bun? I would dive into a vat of hot cross buns and eat them all, even if that meant I would die. They're so good. The bread itself is always perfect; so soft and chewy. You know the bread that collapses in on itself to form a chewy, dense mess when you take a bite? Oh, to take a bite.
Then there's the spice and fruit. I'm usually not much of a dried fruit girl (unless I'm trying to be healthy and shit?) but the dried fruit in hot cross buns always intermingles so well with the spices. It blows my mind. And they are always moist. It's like the raisins have been plucked straight from a grape vine and not dried at all. No, from a raisin vine. It's as if they're not dried fruit at all; just really intense, ugly fresh fruit.
I could just smell a bun all day. I really could.
And then for the white icing (if that is the real name?). So under appreciated yet so integral to the hot cross bun. Without it, it would just be a hot bun. And if you didn't heat it up, it would just be a bun (speaking of which, one should NEVER not heat/toast a hot cross bun). Have you ever TASTED the white icing by itself? It tastes of nothing. Yet when you get a bite of that divinity in your mouth all sloshed up with the bready goodness... So good. The texture, the texture!
I think I'm going to eat a hot cross bun now. Save me.
J
Friday, March 1, 2013
Sockettes
Killed it at Friendquest 2013 again today. But far out, being friendly is exhausting. And I wasn't even that friendly. I don't really understand how some people can be constantly "switched on." You know, the people who walk into a room with this massive smile and stay like that for the whole time? Those people sicken me.
I'm on the quest for the perfect sockettes. The ones Big Michelle bought me from Malaysia are coming in close. They're pretty much perfect and don't show when you're wearing flats. It's the construction of them; they have this little covering bit for the toes but the rest is pretty much just on the sole of the foot. The ones you buy in Australia are always constructed like huge sacks! What that shit?
I ran three minutes straight this morning. That's impressive for me!
J
I'm on the quest for the perfect sockettes. The ones Big Michelle bought me from Malaysia are coming in close. They're pretty much perfect and don't show when you're wearing flats. It's the construction of them; they have this little covering bit for the toes but the rest is pretty much just on the sole of the foot. The ones you buy in Australia are always constructed like huge sacks! What that shit?
I ran three minutes straight this morning. That's impressive for me!
J
Thursday, February 28, 2013
KevJeremy
There's a GEMP in my FCP tutorial named Jeremy who looks exactly like KevJumba. To me, at least. He is Canadian Singaporean. I think it's the accent (Canadian intermingling with fobby Asian. God, it's good) that makes him irrevocably sexy. I'm not attracted to him in the least but his voice is damn fine.
I'm also winning at Friendquest 2013. Honestly, I feel that I owe it all to Officeworks and this summer. I think back to some of my actions in first and second year and legitimately cringe. I can't imagine what people must think of me. That I'm an unfriendly bitch, sincerely weird and all sorts of messed up. But on the inside, I was just incredibly shy and uncomfortable.
I still am. Filled with a strong discomfort in many situations. And I still found myself on the brink of tears the other day when I had to walk from a lecture to a tutorial by myself when all around me were med kids. Reece was in close proximity and, as per usual, I assumed he was judging me for my lack of my friends.
But it's getting so much better.
How did I find out KevJeremy's life history? I interrogated him before the tutorial (and also so I could keep listening to his beautiful voice).
J
I'm also winning at Friendquest 2013. Honestly, I feel that I owe it all to Officeworks and this summer. I think back to some of my actions in first and second year and legitimately cringe. I can't imagine what people must think of me. That I'm an unfriendly bitch, sincerely weird and all sorts of messed up. But on the inside, I was just incredibly shy and uncomfortable.
I still am. Filled with a strong discomfort in many situations. And I still found myself on the brink of tears the other day when I had to walk from a lecture to a tutorial by myself when all around me were med kids. Reece was in close proximity and, as per usual, I assumed he was judging me for my lack of my friends.
But it's getting so much better.
How did I find out KevJeremy's life history? I interrogated him before the tutorial (and also so I could keep listening to his beautiful voice).
J
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