This Charming Man

I literally just looked at this picture of The Good Wife and her Hot Husband and, out loud, said, "Phwoar." Friends, that is what I call a handsome man. You know how you have "hot guys" and you have "cute guys" and you have "rugged/virile guys." Well, friends, this is what I call a Handsome Man. Not a guy but a man. Look at him working it in that suit and that hair and those shoes. Get it, Juliana. You minx.

He has those big Man Hands as well.

J

I Know You Can Be Overwhelmed...

Feeling hormonal. And not crying-hormonal but boy-hormonal. It's probably why I've been watching so much Pretty Little Liars lately, so I can perv on Mr. E Fitz. Mmhmm.

My body is usually in a constant state of flux between crying-hormonal and boy-hormonal. Rarely am I just... whelmed (har har). It makes me think that should I ever become INVOLVED with a boy they will be annoyed with me 50% of the time as I will be crying and yelling at them 50% of the time and won't put out because I want to cry and eat Twix bars... Oh deer.

J

Le Joke

Let's just say, if the Streaker propositioned me for sexual intercourse the answer would not involve the word no. The song "Your Body is a Wonderland" was practically made for him.

I swore I would not start liking this guy the first time I laid eyes on him because he had that too-handsome look and seemed like a goon who all the girls love. And I don't like that shit. And I thought he would be one of those guys who knows he's good looking and is popular etc. But he's actually really nice. Not to say I like him romantically. I can just appreciate him more. As a person. NOT a sexual object.

I'm a fucking joke.

J

Ego Boost

You probably don't know this but everyone in my FCP tute is a freaking genius. They look at one slide and our tutor asks the most ridiculous question about it and they all freaking get it. Naturally, I hate them all. Especially this one guy, Reece, who knows everything and he puts on that cock sucker voice whenever he's talking to the tutor or actor-patients. I hate that guy.

So it's totally awesome because he failed in his cardiovascular history taking in this morning's tute. And I dominated that shit. Well, maybe dominated is a strong word. I did better than I usually do. Streaker was so nice to me and says, "Good job," when I return to my seat. It was so sweet. And I think it was his feedback card that said, "Junaberry was amazing!"

SERIOUSLY. People are fucking awesome. I don't even care if I did shit. If people are nice enough to lie and say I was awesome, then THEY are awesome.

J

Cut Out the White Bread

I thought I'd address something that's been coming up for me over the last few weeks. Several people have asked me whether I drink and then, "Why don't you drink?" And sometimes when I say, "No, I don't drink," I feel ashamed like they're judging me.

"You don't drink? What is wrong with you? You're such a good girl. Are you a girl scout?"

Well, let's be clear. I enjoy a tipple or two every now and then. Whilst in China I drank a lot of beer because it's cheaper than bottled water, the food was really spicy there and cold beer can soothe the ravaging effects of Szechuan pepper quite satisfactorily.

Sometimes I get a upset and frustrated at the drinking culture in Australia especially in young people. I sound like an old, disapproving mother but I'm just being honest. I don't like it when my friends go out and get hammered because it's not safe (in terms of stranger danger etc.) and it's not good for you. If you drink a lot of alcohol again and again your body will suffer.

I get frustrated that people are proud of getting falling over drunk, vomiting in gutters and the rest of it. When people say to me, "You can't go clubbing and have a good time without getting drunk," I wonder to myself what's the point of clubbing then when I can have a good time and not kill my liver.

I don't think there's anything wrong with drinking alcohol. I just don't think binge drinking is good for you. I don't want to cast a disapproving eye on anyone because I appreciate that all this is is my opinion and doesn't count for much and is not necessarily correct. But I just wish sometimes I didn't feel so damn embarrassed when someone asks me why I don't drink.

J

Andrew Garfield - "Bed Intruder Song"

Shit, this man is sexy. And Carey Mulligan is so cute.

J

Just Stop Talking

Okay, so does it bother me that F's body is less than perfect? No. It doesn't. In fact, it makes me like him even more. His body is imperfect? Well, mine is doubly so.

Sure, my heart started racing a mile a minute when the tutor said to him, "Do you mind lifting up your shirt so I can listen to your heart?" and he said, "Yes," and proceeded to do so. And yes, I had to look down to try and control the slow smile that crept across my face. I even averted my eyes MORE than I would for any other boy in our class who had to have his body used for scientific gains. But I did sneak a couple of glances.

He had that soft, untoned look. Kind of boyish still. Very skinny. And you could tell he was self-conscious and anxious about his appearance. So endearing. The skin on his abdomen had that milky white look of an untouched male specimen...

But then, he had that soft trail of blonde hairs snaking down into his pants...

Wow. This is the most degradingly I have ever spoken of F. And dirtiest. I feel so dirty, like a 50 year old man talking about a 15 year old girl.

F and I are almost the only people from our FCP tute going to the same hospital to observe their cardiology ward. I looked at the list. I didn't recognize any of his friends in the list. Maybe this will be my chance to hook in...

I feel really schemey and foul and disgusting right now. I know I come across this way but I wish I didn't. Like when I watch movies and the girl is plotting and scheming to get with the boy and in the end it backfires on her and she becomes a bitch. I think that if you're meant to be together, fate will bring you together.

I need to stop talking now.

J

Update from the Sciby

Oh Lord. The kid sitting next to me's stomach just rumbled really loudly and he hell spazzed out. He, very ashamedly, sat upright, put his hand to his belly and tried to appear to be intently studying. It was beyond hilarity.

J

Tuition

Came back from tutoring a girl in maths and lied to my parents when they asked if it went well. I walked home on the brink of tears for 20 minutes, dragging my feet. I couldn't explain how to determine the equation of a graph by looking at it for reciprocal, cubic or exponential graphs. Spent 45 minutes mumbling, pretending I knew what I was doing and, worst of all, lying to her because I didn't want it to seem like I had no idea what I was doing.

I feel so guilty. Taking their money and confusing her even further. I have tried turning this guilt into steely resolve and have started looking up the stuff I couldn't explain. Things were going well until now and I could explain stuff to her. But today has just been shit.

J

You Were Romeo

I can't describe to you how I feel right now but I will try.

The fact that I am going to see Taylor Swift next March. At her Speak Now concert. The fact we will be in the same place and I will get to bask in her glory. It's amazing.

It's just that I've watched her on YouTube so many times, I've listened to her songs so many times... that seeing her in person will just be so bizarre and surreal. I just love her so much. Like unnaturally so. She is one of my best friends and one of my idols and I've never met her. It's part of my hopes and dreams to one day be the sort of generous and kind person that she is.

I'm like a dazed Dustin Jeiber fan and it both disgusts me and excites me at the same time. I sicken myself. But I am so excited.

J