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I'm a student from Australia who used to have a lot of time on her hands but doesn't have that much anymore. Now she has other stuff on her hands.

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Ontbijtkoek

This afternoon, at a certain Woolworths store in a certain shopping complex, I found one of my one true loves from my most recent (because I have been on so many) European adventure: http://ourlittlefamilyadventure.wordpress.com/2012/12/06/ontbijtkoek-dutch-breakfast-spice-cake/

There was a little Dutch section, right next to the tortillas and Old El Paso kits, in Woolworths. My day was made. Nay, my week was made. Many thanks to Little Mishelle for informing me of its presence.

For those who have not had the pleasure of sinking their teeth into the dense, dark mysteries of this breakfast treat (its existence simply reaffirming my belief that breakfast is the best meal of the day), get your ass to your closest Woolworths (assuming every Perth Woolworths has its own Dutch section).

And if you have had the great pleasure I have described above, I am sure your ass is already halfway to your closest Woolworths.

But back to those unacquainted. Ontbijtkoek is essentially a really dark gingerbread made of rye flour. It's not very sweet and really is more of a bread than a cake, traditionally eaten with butter. As a great lover of all things gingerbread, its density and spiciness is a revelation.

It's a good thing I found and bought said Dutch breakfast cake because my day would have otherwise been slightly miserable (although hacking into Little Mishelle's locks always gives me great joy. I also scored myself a $1.99 bag of mega mushrooms and a $1.99 mango). Specifically because I saw Zeter Febbs on the bus to Little Mishelle's house. I saw him before he saw me (assuming he saw me at all). There he was, jumping onboard, dressed in his shitty sports' team polo t-shirt and some sort of matching cap. I have no patience for these sports enthusiast antics.

What is wrong with me? How could I ever think we were even slightly compatible? A SPORTS' TEAM POLO T-SHIRT. AND MATCHING CAP.

Anyway, I purposefully stared outside my window, pretending to be absolutely captivated by the beautiful passing scenery... And he sat in the special section at the front, reserved for pregnant ladies and old people. Probably because he saw me and thought to himself, "Hale no, if I initiate contact she will probably start drooling all over my sports' team polo t-shirt and possibly my matching cap."

Smart move, Zeter. I was indeed resisting the urge to drool on/rip that sports' team polo t-shirt off you and run my hands all over your pasty white, concave chest. Smart move, indeed. He was always strategically oriented.

Maybe one day I will move past all of this. To be honest, I'm probably 80% there. I laugh about it pretty much any time it is brought up these days (which is rarely unless by me because I'm an attention seeking little whore). That being said, it is my reaction to laugh at anything even slightly uncomfortable. Case in point, the Pyramides metro station in Rome.

No further comment. Go about your business.

J

Get Me The Fluff Out of This Nutter

I love this so hard: http://vimeo.com/channels/mmas/videos

All of these videos are brilliant. How am I so invested and delighted by videos about sandwiches of all things in the world? I'm just sitting here, smiling and chortling as I watch some guy make a falafelnutter sandwich (just as it sounds). But really, have I found my calling? Could I write about food for a living?

This place is my jam: http://www.seriouseats.com/ I used to just browse/skim through their articles, not really reading but just looking at the pictures. Now, I am captivated by everything on that site (except the ones on wine and cocktails... Non).

Is it a passing fancy? Maybe I can start my own 'zine (channeling Mia Thermopolis/Lily Moscovitz right now) and just write shit about anything I want. Food, people, food, politics (unlikely), dogs (likely), food, sandwiches, desserts, travelling (food).

You're not supposed to enjoy work. That's kind of the idea I've been raised on. Work is work. You go into the office everyday, bring your shitty packed lunch, struggle through the drudgery of whatever slop has been tossed your way, daydream about the weekend, spend the weekend dreading Monday, spend the lunch hour dreading going back to work. How's that for horrendous? Depressing? Yes. I do not want to go to there.

J

Monday, January 6, 2014

Rhythm of the Night

I have taken to actually clicking on the links of the restaurants reviewed in the many, many food blogs I read. These are largely US based and, as a result, I have been perusing many US based restaurant menus. The thing I've noticed is this; it's a hell of a lot cheaper than Australia.

I don't eat in fancy restaurants at home very often but I read reviews! And I can tell you that entrees run up in the $35-40 range, desserts can extend towards the $20 mark and you will rarely find a salad for < $10.

I am constantly amazed by how reasonable the prices are in American menus. Sure, the exchange rate and all but still. Look at this: http://homeroom510.com/menu/

I want to go to there. If I ever get to the US, I'm going to eat my weight in delicious food.

J

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Three Goals

I bought my very first pair of trousers this morning.

From K-Mart. You know what that means. They were $15. It also means they fit in the waist but are way, way too tight in the calves (damn my "voluptuous" legs). It also means they are about an inch too short. All of these deterrents crossed my mind as I was considering these (otherwise lovely) trousers.

But other things also crossed my mind. Like my goal to Become The Woman I Want To Be (more on this later). Similar to this, my goal to Own Many Great Pairs Of Trousers. And also, to Dress More Like My Very Fantastic And Eclectic Cousin.

I shall address each goal now.

1. Become The Woman I Want To Be.

This is tied in closely to my other two goals. I want to dress myself with more pride and rely less on sloppy t-shirts and denim bottoms. I want to stop buying so many goddamn $5 tube skirts. Big Michelle likes to ask me why I read so many fashion blogs (and hence, the implication is, "but don't dress that great yourself." I accept this wholeheartedly as I know I don't). This is a very good question.

I know a lot of useless information about trends, designer brands, styles, big name bloggers, big name fashionistas and all the rest of that bullshit. But can I dress myself? No. Sure, I'm limited by my cheapness and the resulting dedication to stores like K-Mart, Virgingirl, Temtation and other such cheapo clothing sources. But even with this dedication to being the Stingiest Bitch North of the CBD, I believe that one can still dress with pride and good presentation.

But dressing well is not all it takes to Become The Woman I Want To Be. To be honest, this goal is more about Building Confidence, the Ability to Speak to Others With Verbal Prowess and Walking With My Head Up and Tits/Chest Out. Whilst these are physical manifestations, really it's all about feeling better about myself, "finding myself" and coming one step closer to being the adult I always envisaged myself being in my pre-menarche years.

I always imagined myself in Some Really Good Trousers walking with purpose through some city streets. I have a really important business meeting to attend to and nothing will stand in my way. I am determined, I am strong, I am confident. People fall around me like wilting spinach, so amazed by my natural charm, grace and wit. Girls think to themselves, "That Is The Woman I Want To Be."

Soon, friends. Soon.

2. Own Many Great Pairs Of Trousers.

I like pants. I don't like skirts or dresses very much (unless they're tube skirts and I'm in the mood to skank it up). I am enjoying this new trend towards Great Trousers. Peg legs, cappuchinos, slim cut beauties. Everywhere, anywhere except on me.

A Great Pair of Trousers can take you from the hospital (clinical wear) to a hot date at some banging bar (puh-lease) to a sultry dinner at some fancy, dimly lit restaurant (and what comes after. I hope it's a snap closure). A Great Pair of Trousers says to the world, "I'm confident enough in my own womanhood to wear this slightly masculine pair of trousers without a care in the world. I'm intelligent as hell but my ass is also fantastic which this Great Pair of Trousers clearly demonstrates. But don't look (no no) because my ass is not for you. It's for me (and my Great Pair of Trousers to snuggle up against)."

Great Pairs of Trousers just say so much. And what are they? Simple scraps of fabric bound together with some flimsy thread. So simple yet so effective.

3. Dress More Like My Very Fantastic And Eclectic Cousin.

I have discussed this cousin with Big Michelle and Little Mishelle before. No, this is not my cousin, The Crazy Bitch. This is a different cousin, more distantly related (and therefore harder to emulate? Damnit). She recently graduated from UWA with a Bachelor of Music. She is a stunning violinist. She is very EcLeCtIc.

She is slightly built and has always been kind of shy. But then not really shy at all. Conversations with her are filled with laughs and chortles. She asks interesting, ridiculous questions. She (like me) likes to let awkward silences settle... and then provoke them (one of my favourite pastimes).

She has always been the less aesthetically invested of her three sisters, choosing to dress in knee length shorts and t-shirts. But the last time I saw her, she had transformed. She had blossomed into something magnificent. Her face was the same but her hair was really, really long, dyed a medium brown and permed into these fabulous bohemian waves. She was dressed in a really Great Pair of Trousers (thus beginning my fascination with really Great Pairs of Trousers) and a sophisticated top of some description (I was too focused on the trousers).

She was the same girl as before, behaving and speaking in the same way. But there was something different; a lightness and quickness to her step, a new gracefulness to her movement, a heightened cheekiness in her grin.

To summarise, she had Become The Woman I Want To Be.

I think I'm in love with her. This would be totally appropriate as she is amazing except that she is my cousin (but only through marriage!).

A couple of years ago, she was very dedicated to the idea of getting dreadlocks. I shit you not. Perhaps this is not so shocking to the rest of you but bear in mind that she is Asian, belongs to a devoutly Christian family and is Asian (PS: she is Asian). She studied music at university, for God's sake. To me, this is amazing. She loves music and the violin therefore studied it in university.

STUDYING SOMETHING YOU LOVE IN UNIVERSITY? UNHEARD OF.

Especially when it's music (if an Asian kid loved commerce or biology, I'm sure their parents would be all for them following their dreams).

Now that I have discussed (ad nauseum) three of the important goals on my radar, I must go find a way to slim my calves. They really are the bane of my trouser buying existence. Things that fit in the waist and thighs never fit my gargantuan calves. Should I buy a buggy and stop walking altogether? Tempting.

For my final comment, I bought blueberry coloured hair dye at Chemist Warehouse this morning. It says it lasts for eight washes. I will probably do it this afternoon. Wish me luck (also, I hope I don't stain anything. If you don't hear back from me, it's likely I did stain something and mother has since disposed of my corpse).

Cheerio.

J

Saturday, January 4, 2014

Sexy Dexy

My new favourite guy at work is the gay guy who has replaced R at print & copy. FUCKING FANTASTIC. There's a hole in my heart/life and, whilst Angelo is fantastic, lovely and friendly, it can only be filled by a certain someone. Or at least someone who is straight. Much like the hole under my pants.

I am watching Something Borrowed, recommended by Wynn last year. This is my second time watching it because I just finished reading the book. 'Tis good. Get into it, my friends.

J

I Couldn't Resist

I just ate a mantou-speculoos sandwich thereby combining two of my favourite things in the world. I had not intended on consuming a treat on this day. However, all this went to shit when I got home from work and found a plate of deep fried mantou sitting on the kitchen counter.

If there is one thing I love in this world and will always love with a burning passion, it is mantou. Speculoos, when eaten in a high enough concentration and therefore with greater impact of flavour, is becoming an increasing favourite after an initially poor first impression.

J

Good Jeans

I love this lady (trying to stop using the word "bitch" so much, even in a loving or admiring way) so hard: http://www.brooklynblonde.com

I love that she looks like she could kick ass at any time. I love how she dresses. I love her choice in sunglasses. I love her choice in heels. I love how tight her jeans are (and I love how they highlight her beautifully toned legs. Would bang).

Mission to grow out my brows and therefore contradict the sperm-shaped ones portrayed in my Roman caricature is officially underway. It is difficult as I have the increasing desire to hack at them with scissors and tweezers. Hopefully, it will be all be worth it.

Speaking of our Roman caricature... No, we won't speak of it.

J

Friday, January 3, 2014

I Fucked Up

Tonight, I fucked up at work.

I struggled to hold back tears as I served customer after customer. I couldn't muster any more smiles. My usually chirpy, "Hi, how's it going?" was lackluster at best. My natural bitchface reared its ugly head.

I kept trying to think of a way to pull me out of this godforsaken funk. Yes, I fucked up but I figure that stewing over it and feeling like shit isn't worth it. Hello, I'm a checkout chick.

If anyone knows the answer to how to do such a thing, please tell me.

J

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Goals and Things

I had my first day/night back at work today. As I looked at the roster, I was sad as I saw all the new names and the notable exception. The lack of R. Despite this, work was aiight and I hung out with my friend, Z, for most of it. It helped that R commented on two and liked at least seven of my Europe photos on facebook. Even over international waters, the effect he has on me is stupid.

I'd do it all again if I had to. You ain't gotta ask, boo. Boy, you know you got me gone.

Caitlyn also come into work today. I swear, it's the first time I've seen her in months. And damn, son. She lost weight. I had to restrain myself from feeling her up. She was looking pretty spectacular in that orange top.

But anyway, to the topic of this blog post. I thought I'd post up a list of some things I want to achieve this year. They're not exactly New Year's resolutions but just some stuff that's been occurring to me over the last few weeks/months/lives. Here they are:

1. Figure out what to do with my life. That's priority one (but, in reality, the least likely to be achieved).

2. Dye my hair. Z, at work, dyed her tips some fantastic red/purple and said she did it with food dye. This made me very excited to whip out the food dye and get feisty. I probably will, perhaps tomorrow. Just as a taster to see whether I want to go further/more permanent.

3. Buy and wear a romper. Because I think rompers are cute as hell but I've never had the guts to wear one. Well, you know what? I want to buy one and I want the back to be low as hell and the shorts section to be short/loose as hell so that there is cheek-to-seat contact whenever I sit down. And I want to look hot as hell in it.

4. Get a tatt... maybe. I'm still undecided. I know what I would get and I know where I would get it but I just don't know whether I should absolutely get it. Perhaps you haven't noticed but I am currently struggling through a desire to rebel against the Asian confines that have constricted my movement for most of my life. But is getting a permanent marking upon my skin the best thing to do when all I want to really do is try some new things?

5. Buy some awesome trousers. I want neutral coloured ones for clinical wear but I also want some crazy patterned ones for everyday wear and going out (because I go out so damn much). This is difficult to achieve because I'm incredibly cheap and trousers are usually quite expensive. But I think I'm willing to throw down some cash for some great pants. I underspent on my Europe trip quite significantly so I keep feeling like I have all this extra cash to throw around now that I'm back. It's an interesting concept.

6. Explore the Perth culinary scene. For someone who loves food with such desperation as I do, I really have not sampled all that (the very limited) Perth has to offer. That is sad. In honour of embracing life, I want to try all of those places in Perth that everyone's always talking about. A lot of the time, I hesitate due to the cost and the calories. However, after Europe, I feel like I shouldn't let monetary expense stop me so much. We only live once and, in the end, it's only a small amount. As long as I don't eat out everyday then I think a treat every few weeks is fine.

I think growing up with parents who very rarely splurge has influenced me enormously. I want to break out of this mold. Although I will surely never be Spendy Sue and will always be very dedicated to saving and being sensible with my coins, I want to treat myself and the people I love more.

7. Travel. Live life. I want to go on a roadtrip, go camping and experience what WA has to offer. I don't know if you've noticed this but I really, really love Australia. Perhaps bogan accents, Holden Commodores, 40C days (for a whole week...) and our shitty, shitty public transport system are not romantic or fantastic but I can't help but love it all. When I came back from my holiday, I felt this kinship with my home.

As I was struggling through the crowds at airport arrivals, I said, "Oops, sorry," to a guy I kind of nudged with my luggage. His response was, "No worries, mate." I felt so much love in my heart.

I even love the smell of eucalyptus in the air when it's so unbearably hot and sunny. I used to hate that smell because it made me feel like my skin was on fire. And I still kind of hate it but I love it at the same time. I love how people dress here. Even the teenage girls in shorts up to there and those fugly sandles.

Australia, you have my heart. Always and forever.

There is more to that list but I can't really think of anything right now. I will be back.

J

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Speculoos

My family has eaten half of my first jar of Speculoos and I've only had one serve with toast because I'm trying to conserve it and be healthy! This is shit! I have to hide it!

!!!

And happy New Year.

J