To Some Guy,
When I saw you come into work this evening in your fitted red plaid shirt and that face of yours, I thought to myself, "There be a good looking man." To be sure, to be sure, as I gained a closer look, you were indeed a very nice looking person.
You approached me and queried re: a chair you ordered. I called furniture to get it from the back as I continued to drink in your well-chiselled face and fit bod. After some discussion with my manager/person in charge of furniture, I learned that your name was Ali and so that partially explained your Middle Eastern appearance and accent.
Said manager went out back to grab said chair. You stood in front of POS. After some time, these words you spoke, "So, is there anything fun to do around here?"
I clarified, "In Perth or in Officeworks?"
To this you said, "In Officeworks."
I looked around at the great expanse before me, a place I have become all too familiar with over the last few weeks.
"You can peruse stationery at your leisure. We've got a splendid technology section here in the middle," I said.
You seemed to find this amusing and replied with, "You women always love stationery."
I continued, "And there are label makers in aisle 15 so you can get organized for the new year."
You went on to explain how you are organized in your personal finances and work... but not in life. And somehow, we spent the next five minutes while waiting for your chair (executive: black) talking about your recent divorce but how your 2.5 year old daughter makes up for that catastrophe. I must've said, "You can't plan life!" about three times.
Eventually, the chair came (along with my manager).
"Thank you so much!" you said to me with a charming smile to make a girl melt.
"You're very welcome! Have a lovely evening!" I said, all Officeworks and shit.
You left. I looked at your ass on the way out.
Thank you for coming into Officeworks today. It made my very lonely evening (they only ever put one person on check out after 6pm and for some reason it's always me) somewhat worth it. And thanks to my manager for taking so long with that chair.
J
About Me
- Junaberry
- I'm a student from Australia who used to have a lot of time on her hands but doesn't have that much anymore. Now she has other stuff on her hands.
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Hot Water
Remember when I used to give play-by-play recounts of my interactions with F? I swore I would never do it again (well, in my head) with any boy (or girl or primate or amphibian...). Alas.
Today, Potential Officeworks Robber Guy (PORG) was working (in his Officeworks uniform). First, I looked at him (casually) for a while. His face is dopey and this makes me feel less aesthetically inferior. Later in the evening, I asked him if he knew where a certain type of glue stick was (JUST JOKES, I KNEW WHERE IT WAS ALL ALONG) and he was all, "All the glue sticks are in aisle four."
Actually, I take it back. I originally asked another of the nightfillers working in the same aisle as PORG where aforementioned glue stick was. He was unsure (amateur). I knew that PORG would jump in (being new, one feels one needs to prove thyself) and thus I laid my lady trap.
PORG was all too gentlemanly in his vocalization of the location of the glue sticks but I thought a little flippant (obviously he needs to try harder to get with this). Is this end of something new (to the tune of the classic High School Musical song)?
Speaking of guys, I may have met my soul mate at the Nike Factory store in Harbourtown the other day? I went in to return something for my brother (please, like I would actually shop there for myself) and there he was, standing about my height (sadly) but with such an angelic face. I theorize that he was of the Jewish faith (at one point do my generalizations towards Jewish people turn from innocently ignorant to straight up anti-Semitic?) which was potentially consolidated by his name (which I won't put here so he doesn't get stalked, poor child).
Later that day, after Icey Ice (so damn icey), I forced Big Michelle and Little Mishelle to go back to the Nike Factory store so we could "browse." This was the following response:
Big Michelle: Oh my God, can we not? It's UPSTAIRS.
We spent a further five minutes laughing at this. She then said this:
Big Michelle: Well, if we actually had something to buy there then it would be alright to go... Actually, I'm thinking of buying some running clothes.
And later...
Big Michelle: I feel bad. Let's go to Nike.
We went back and hung around the ladies' section (originally, somewhere in men's then we decided it might be less suspicious if we went to an area that catered more for our SEXUALITY). I could not see him.
I said to the girls, "Never have I been so disappointed in my life."
And then, the moment of truth. A culmination of that afternoon's initial thrill coupled with the devastating disappointment of walking into the Nike Factory store the second time.
"Over there are more Nike people," Little Mishelle said, concealing her excitement (or not... We all know Little Mishelle likes to appear hipster and cool at all possible times) under a thin veil of nonchalance. I looked over, a lump in my throat (that's what she said) and there... And there...
He was.
Then we left the Nike Factory store and took an (un)pleasantly hot bus ride home.
J
Today, Potential Officeworks Robber Guy (PORG) was working (in his Officeworks uniform). First, I looked at him (casually) for a while. His face is dopey and this makes me feel less aesthetically inferior. Later in the evening, I asked him if he knew where a certain type of glue stick was (JUST JOKES, I KNEW WHERE IT WAS ALL ALONG) and he was all, "All the glue sticks are in aisle four."
Actually, I take it back. I originally asked another of the nightfillers working in the same aisle as PORG where aforementioned glue stick was. He was unsure (amateur). I knew that PORG would jump in (being new, one feels one needs to prove thyself) and thus I laid my lady trap.
PORG was all too gentlemanly in his vocalization of the location of the glue sticks but I thought a little flippant (obviously he needs to try harder to get with this). Is this end of something new (to the tune of the classic High School Musical song)?
Speaking of guys, I may have met my soul mate at the Nike Factory store in Harbourtown the other day? I went in to return something for my brother (please, like I would actually shop there for myself) and there he was, standing about my height (sadly) but with such an angelic face. I theorize that he was of the Jewish faith (at one point do my generalizations towards Jewish people turn from innocently ignorant to straight up anti-Semitic?) which was potentially consolidated by his name (which I won't put here so he doesn't get stalked, poor child).
Later that day, after Icey Ice (so damn icey), I forced Big Michelle and Little Mishelle to go back to the Nike Factory store so we could "browse." This was the following response:
Big Michelle: Oh my God, can we not? It's UPSTAIRS.
We spent a further five minutes laughing at this. She then said this:
Big Michelle: Well, if we actually had something to buy there then it would be alright to go... Actually, I'm thinking of buying some running clothes.
And later...
Big Michelle: I feel bad. Let's go to Nike.
We went back and hung around the ladies' section (originally, somewhere in men's then we decided it might be less suspicious if we went to an area that catered more for our SEXUALITY). I could not see him.
I said to the girls, "Never have I been so disappointed in my life."
And then, the moment of truth. A culmination of that afternoon's initial thrill coupled with the devastating disappointment of walking into the Nike Factory store the second time.
"Over there are more Nike people," Little Mishelle said, concealing her excitement (or not... We all know Little Mishelle likes to appear hipster and cool at all possible times) under a thin veil of nonchalance. I looked over, a lump in my throat (that's what she said) and there... And there...
He was.
Then we left the Nike Factory store and took an (un)pleasantly hot bus ride home.
J
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Me, Me, Me
I'm sitting around at home on my day off, watching The Two Towers and contemplating getting up to eat some yoghurt.
I'm reading reddit and wishing I was Polish.
I'm feeling hot. It's 37C today, apparently.
I'm sexy and I know it.
J
I'm reading reddit and wishing I was Polish.
I'm feeling hot. It's 37C today, apparently.
I'm sexy and I know it.
J
Friday, January 4, 2013
PolArt
I officially have a huge lady crush on Anna Kendrick and am currently watching 50/50. She is adorable and so likable.
I went to see pole dancing this evening with my mother. Or so I told Big Michelle and she said to me, "Ew, why?" We laughed. Really, I saw this: http://www.polart2012.com.au/main/
Or half of it then we bailed because I have work tomorrow morning and mother got bored. Regardless, I thought the Polish song and dance was fabulous. My favourite parts included:
1. The fact that we were the only two Asians in the whole place and everyone else was probably Polish and were speaking Polish to each other. I love when people are proud and in touch with their nationalities and heritage. It was actually really nice to see.
2. The squat dancing. You know what I'm talking about? The bouncing and the squatting and the jumping. It looked exhausting.
3. The marginally cute Polish guys interspersed with old, fat Polish guys.
4. The squeal screeching by the lady dancers. I can't really describe it but every now and then, one of the lady dancers would let out a really high pitched squeech and I would race to try and find which one did it before the squeech was over.
J
Tufts Beelzebubs - "Teenage Dream" (Katy Perry)
They are singing with their hands and that is my favourite part of this video. The gestures, dear Lord:
J
J
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Make Good Choices
This guy gives me a mad toner: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2799457/
J
Today, at work, I got harassed by this 30-something man wearing a deep-v with a primary schooled aged daughter for not offering him a bag when I sold him his goods.
Potential Robber Guy rocked up in his Officeworks uniform today so now I don't have to worry about the fact I could have potentially allowed the store to be robbed by some Deceivingly Polite Guy.
Tonight, I am watching Pitch Perfect for the third time in... three days and wishing I could sing so I could join an acapella group.
J
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
No Longer New
Technically, I am still new but Officeworks just recruited a whole bunch of new people and it feels so good to be able to boss people around... Bossing is a strong word; I would say educating. Yes, I can spread my knowledge about gift cards and which aisle the display books are in!
The first new girl I met is in her final year of architecture (instant bond; it was just like talking to Little Mishelle), 25 years old and lives with her boyfriend in my suburb. We were talking nicely and I was asking her how long she'd been living out of home with her boyfriend and if it was weird etc. She is a really nice girl, slightly chubby but with a sweet/average face. Suddenly, she says to me, "Oh, speaking of my boyfriend, here he is."
I look over. Standing there is a gorgeous tradie looking guy with such a sweet and wholesome smile/look about him. I was surprised (admittedly) and said, "Nice to meet you," through my shock. He/she reaffirmed my faith in humanity. Sure, I was completely judging based on aesthetics and was thinking to myself, "Damn, what is a guy like him doing with a girl like her." And then I thought, "She's maybe the nicest person I've talked to this week." Assuming he's as nice as her (which was the impression I got), then no hate, appreciate.
The second new girl I met was an Indian girl from Kenya (whose name I forget). She was potentially more shy/quiet than me and you all know my theories about how I am around people more socially awkward than me.
The third person (and the only male) I met was a guy whose name I didn't get. He walked in and I said, "Hi, how's it going?" as I do (being all welcoming and Officeworks and shit). He said, "Hi, this is actually my first shift here. Where should I go?" What followed was me being helpful and Officeworks (that's become an adjective in my personal vernacular, in case you got confused). He wasn't dressed in the Officeworks uniform and after giving him the code for the staff room and him walking off, I said to Indian Girl from Kenya, "Wow, I really hope he was telling the truth."
Thankfully, he did not rob us.
Oh, did I forget to mention said non-uniformed man was completely beautiful?
He was. And I spent the rest of the evening looking at him in a completely unprofessional, non-Officeworks way.
Later on in the evening, Caitlyn and Helen came in and harassed me about white paint so I sicced the manager on them to "assist."
J
The first new girl I met is in her final year of architecture (instant bond; it was just like talking to Little Mishelle), 25 years old and lives with her boyfriend in my suburb. We were talking nicely and I was asking her how long she'd been living out of home with her boyfriend and if it was weird etc. She is a really nice girl, slightly chubby but with a sweet/average face. Suddenly, she says to me, "Oh, speaking of my boyfriend, here he is."
I look over. Standing there is a gorgeous tradie looking guy with such a sweet and wholesome smile/look about him. I was surprised (admittedly) and said, "Nice to meet you," through my shock. He/she reaffirmed my faith in humanity. Sure, I was completely judging based on aesthetics and was thinking to myself, "Damn, what is a guy like him doing with a girl like her." And then I thought, "She's maybe the nicest person I've talked to this week." Assuming he's as nice as her (which was the impression I got), then no hate, appreciate.
The second new girl I met was an Indian girl from Kenya (whose name I forget). She was potentially more shy/quiet than me and you all know my theories about how I am around people more socially awkward than me.
The third person (and the only male) I met was a guy whose name I didn't get. He walked in and I said, "Hi, how's it going?" as I do (being all welcoming and Officeworks and shit). He said, "Hi, this is actually my first shift here. Where should I go?" What followed was me being helpful and Officeworks (that's become an adjective in my personal vernacular, in case you got confused). He wasn't dressed in the Officeworks uniform and after giving him the code for the staff room and him walking off, I said to Indian Girl from Kenya, "Wow, I really hope he was telling the truth."
Thankfully, he did not rob us.
Oh, did I forget to mention said non-uniformed man was completely beautiful?
He was. And I spent the rest of the evening looking at him in a completely unprofessional, non-Officeworks way.
Later on in the evening, Caitlyn and Helen came in and harassed me about white paint so I sicced the manager on them to "assist."
J
Love to Hear Percussion
Pitch Perfect is so pitch perfect. It is like a non-cringey Step Up meets the classic that is Bring It On meets perfect teen cliches all rolled up with a dollop of Rebel Wilson on top.
Oh, Rebel. She had the best quotes in the movie. Finish him like a cheesecake? I don't even like cheesecake but I like that quote.
I also found the lead romantic interest far more tolerable than the guy in Bring It On (Jesse Bradford) although he had the same dorky, brown-hairedness of satirical teen comedies past.
Speaking of Jesse Bradford, these are all the same people to me:
J
Oh, Rebel. She had the best quotes in the movie. Finish him like a cheesecake? I don't even like cheesecake but I like that quote.
I also found the lead romantic interest far more tolerable than the guy in Bring It On (Jesse Bradford) although he had the same dorky, brown-hairedness of satirical teen comedies past.
Speaking of Jesse Bradford, these are all the same people to me:
J
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Nigellissima
Nigella!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2192015/Nigella-Lawson-shows-incredible-weight-loss-figure-hugging-black-outfit.html
She looks so wonderful. Not that she wasn't beautiful before but I think this is a healthy move for her.
I'm about to watch the first episode of her new Italian centred show, Nigellissima, because I heard her two kids (Bruno and Mimi) are in it and I'm dying to see them after so long. I bet they're even more grown up. Also, I just think she's wonderful and her food is always appetising looking despite the fact her "cooking" occasionally borders on "reheating" or "mixing."
I love that family a lot.
J
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2192015/Nigella-Lawson-shows-incredible-weight-loss-figure-hugging-black-outfit.html
She looks so wonderful. Not that she wasn't beautiful before but I think this is a healthy move for her.
I'm about to watch the first episode of her new Italian centred show, Nigellissima, because I heard her two kids (Bruno and Mimi) are in it and I'm dying to see them after so long. I bet they're even more grown up. Also, I just think she's wonderful and her food is always appetising looking despite the fact her "cooking" occasionally borders on "reheating" or "mixing."
I love that family a lot.
J
Last Night
1. Was privvy to the most insane of Big Michelle's voluptuous dancing.
2. Ate soy/tofu based Oreo ice cream and lived to tell the tale.
3. Ate chocolate coconut balls with biscuits I did not crush sufficiently.
4. Trapped a spider with a toilet roll.
5. Watched five minutes of frankly terrifying Moulin Rouge.
6. Found a blister on my right elbow?!
7. Discussed the appropriateness of tattoos on the male physique. Surprisingly, Little Mishelle and I came to agree that a full sleeve is perfectly acceptable/attractive? She surprises me.
8. Discussed "the window."
7. Oh, and this morning I nearly snorted a little spider up my nose. Fo' real.
J
2. Ate soy/tofu based Oreo ice cream and lived to tell the tale.
3. Ate chocolate coconut balls with biscuits I did not crush sufficiently.
4. Trapped a spider with a toilet roll.
5. Watched five minutes of frankly terrifying Moulin Rouge.
6. Found a blister on my right elbow?!
7. Discussed the appropriateness of tattoos on the male physique. Surprisingly, Little Mishelle and I came to agree that a full sleeve is perfectly acceptable/attractive? She surprises me.
8. Discussed "the window."
7. Oh, and this morning I nearly snorted a little spider up my nose. Fo' real.
J
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